Summary: Itsuki Tachibana dwells on memories of his Crimson Sacrifice ritual with his twin Mutsuki and his resulting suicide.
Disclaimer: I do not own 'Project Zero Two: Crimson Butterfly' or any of the respective characters.
Warnings: Contains spoilers- then again, why are you reading this if you haven't played or completed the videogame?
A/N: This story is just a quick one-shot that I did ages ago and I know it's not as good as my others, but just bear with me. Oh, and this one is told from Itsuki's POV.
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My life ended the day Mutsuki died.
The day my hands encircled his neck.
The day the villagers had been hoping for, praying for.
The day his lifeless body was thrown into the Abyss.
The day All God's village rejoiced.
The day I cursed myself into eternal damnation.
I told Mutsuki the day before we were to perform the ritual that I could not and would not kill him. I was always the more obstinate twin you see, even at the last possible moment.
Mutsuki did not argue with me as usual but simply told me that I would partake in the ritual whether I wanted to or not. My brother was never harsh or abrupt with me, but I knew that eventually there would come a time when he would not allow me to have my way. I was the older, he the younger. It was my duty, my life, to care for and protect him.
And yet I was the one who stole the breath from his body.
Of course, I was then the one who argued. I might have been quieter and more subdued in death, but in life I was quite different.
Death has that effect, I suppose.
I had never before raised my voice against my brother in anger and the memory of the look in his eyes still haunts me. I was fully aware that I was breaking his heart and to this day there is something I never told him.
I shouted at him, I screamed profanities at him, I made him shed tears all for one reason: to hide the sound of my own heart shattering into a million pieces that come the ritual, would fall into the Hellish Abyss with his body.
Eventually, the villagers come to take me away from Mutsuki, to lock me in our room until the time came for the ceremony. The Ceremony Master himself even came to speak to me as I think they were worried that I might, in my desperation, attempt something to prevent the ritual from taking place. Even taking my own life.
They did not have to worry about that. I would never have willingly left Mutsuki behind. He was a part of me, the core of my very being. If I were going to take my life, I would have taken his as well.
God would have condemned me for that thought alone I think, had he actually the chance to judge me for it. But Fate, it seems had plans for Mutsuki and I already.
And who were we to stand against Fate herself?
Besides, I could never bring myself to harm my twin with the sole intent of taking his life simply because I wanted to die. He always was a delicate soul, both physically and emotionally. All our lives, I had to be the strong one.
It irritated me at times but I think that now I have a better understanding of him for that aspect of himself. Mutsuki valued life beyond anything else in this world and I loved him all the more for that. Which is why in the end, I consented to the ritual.
It seems strange I know, that I would assist my brother in death but I was fulfilling his wishes. He wanted to do his part in protecting the village and he wanted to give Yae and Sae a fighting chance. It was his theory that, if we completed the ritual successfully, no other twins would have to be ripped apart. If we did not, someone else would have to. That is the kind of person my brother was, completely selfless in every regard.
He glossed over the fact we were both aware of: the Remaining, as the still living twin was called, often went mad or died from grief because of the separation.
Mutsuki, typically, made me promise not to do any of the above. How could I have made him a promise like that?
I did anyway, even though we both knew it would be hopeless because of the depth of our bond. But I think it soothed his mind to some extent. At least I hoped it did.
I suppose the villagers grew tired of the endless yelling and cursing after some hours and they allowed Mutsuki to be locked up with me, hoping my twin's presence would calm me.
Not likely.
I was on the verge of having my soul ripped from me and losing the person who meant most to me. How did they expect me to react? Imitate the sad smile that graced the face of my twin? We may have been identical, but that was only skin deep. I was willing to fight until the moment they dragged us down into the pit.
Mutsuki finally persuaded me to keep quiet at least until daybreak and I did, seeing the exhaustion in his dark eyes. He always brought out that protective streak in me, sometimes on purpose. He did that quite often when we were children, manipulating me with the intent of getting what he wanted. I always knew and never minded, for Mutsuki was not capable of being malicious or spiteful. His actions generally benefited the both of us.
But I hated him in that moment before dawn. How could he accept his fate so easily? Give up with without a fight? Worst still, how could he so willingly leave me?
He knew of my sudden animosity the second he awoke. "Itsuki?"
Mutsuki will never know how much it killed me inside to hear the uncertainty in his voice, because he had always knowingly had my love. The possibility that he had reason to doubt that love, deepened the cracks in my heart but it only caused more hate to flow through our connection.
I imagined that I could almost see him wince in pain as he felt my hate probing his mind and soul.
I could not bear to look at him. "We promised we would always be together."
I felt him move beside me and then he was there, warm against my side and we sat together in silence. "I know."
"Then why?"
His eyes were filled with a desperate sadness and pain knifed through me. "This is something we have to do. For the sake of the village. For Yae and Sae. Do you want another to experience the pain you are feeling right now?"
I looked at my twin directly. "You are."
"Yes…" he answered softly. "But that does not matter."
"It matters to me!" I burst out. "Mutsuki, can't you see? If we run now, I can carry you, I might-"
I might have the chance to save you.
"No." His lips tightened resolutely. "We must perform the ritual."
Why did Mutsuki choose now of all times to reveal his stubborn streak?
"I…" he hesitated now and took my hand. "You know that I am too weak to escape the village Itsuki. And even if we escaped, where would we go?"
"Anywhere but here."
His normally gentle eyes darkened. "We made arrangements for Yae and Sae to escape and we cannot go back on that agreement now. We must perform the ritual! Why are you being so difficult?"
"Difficult?" I echoed, letting go of his hand. "Because Mutsuki, I want you to live! I cannot watch you die by my hand!"
"We always knew this day would come, ever since we were children Itsuki. When we agreed for Yae and Sae to escape together, you knew! I am prepared for this and you can't accept it! Why?"
"Because…" a monster raged within me now and I felt sick, a sheen of sweat appearing on my forehead. "I can't live incomplete, Mutsuki, you know that!"
"You think you will be alone after I leave this body Itsuki?"
I trembled, grasping his hand again. "Yes."
He smiled and sat in front of me, leaning forward until our foreheads touched. "I will never leave you because even if I am gone in body, I am here," he said pointing to my heart, "In your heart."
I managed a smile. "Only my heart?"
He smiled back at me. "And here and here and oh, don't forget here!" he laughed, pointing all around me. "You think you can get rid of me that easily? I am a part of you Itsuki, do not forget that."
"Never," I agreed, clasping his hand possessively. He lay back down to rest some more and for a while there was a peaceful silence in our room.
"Mutsuki?"
"Hmm?"
"Promise me one thing."
He was silent, wary that I might con him somehow into not performing the Forbidden ritual.
"While I… while we perform the ritual…"
"Yes?"
"Promise me you won't hate me."
He seemed surprised. "I could never hate you Itsuki. What makes you say that?"
"What makes you say that? It will be different down there with the priests, the mourners, you and I…" my voice trailed off.
When my hands are wrapped around your neck, when I squeeze every last breathe from your body, when we become one…will you hate me, Mutsuki?
"I will never hate you Itsuki."
"Promise?"
"Promise." His voice was firm and I felt reassured, but only a little. I still wasn't ready.
I never would be.
"But Itsuki, there is something else."
"What?"
"During the ritual," he murmured, his voice dreamy suddenly. "We will become… one. Haven't you ever wondered what it would feel like?"
I didn't lie to him, not with the time of our ritual drawing so near. "Yes," I whispered.
"Once twins are born, they become separate. Two beings. I am… grateful at least, that before I die, we can be as one. I want to feel that," he said and paused. "Don't you?"
"Not if it means never seeing you again. Mutsuki…"
He heard something in my voice, a hidden emotion that he did not want to see. "What will you tell Chitose?" he asked, evidently not wishing to talk about his approaching doom.
My thoughts drifted to our younger sister. What would I tell her? "I don't know."
"Father won't tell her the truth so she will ask you where I am," he shifted restlessly in his place. "But she's too young to know."
I shrugged. "Father will be the judge of that."
I did not want to think about our delicate sister, she had always been very attached to Mutsuki and I. Knowing the truth could kill her. "She must never know, at least until she is of age."
With that settled, we simply waited. Together, for the last time.
Ten minutes after the sun rose, they came for us.
"It is time."
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Mutsuki…I will never forgive myself.
I stole your life from you. When time seemed to stand still, I reached down and took it. I saw the look in your eyes and my soul shattered: you still forgave me. Even at the moment when you died, you still smiled at me, forgiveness shining in your eyes.
My eyes.
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I could not make you into a butterfly.
I failed to give you the wings that you deserved.
I loved you too much.
And yet I know, that you forgive me. I can feel it. And I hate it.
But I can't forgive myself.
When the priests led us down into the Abyss to perform the ritual, I was so scared. Not of the hideous mourners, or the darkness. Scared because I would have to kill my brother, erase part of myself. Then the chanting began and everything seemed to pass in a blur of sound and activity. I wrapped my hands around your fragile throat and I heard the prayers, the hopes that we would save the village.
"Kill me, Itsuki. Give me wings."
That was all you would say to me when my fingers tightened their grip. There was no fear in your voice, only a calm tranquility that would soon be freed to fly with crimson wings above the village. Your lack of fear gave me the courage I needed to strangle the last breath from your body. But it was not courage; it was cowardice. I should have refused, and maybe you would have lived. In the end, it was I who was the coward.
When the butterfly did not appear, I wanted to throw myself into the Hellish Abyss with you but the priests held me back. They want me to live, as testament to other twins who must perform the ritual, to show them what will happen if they fail. They want me to suffer for not turning you into a butterfly.
Now Sae and Yae will have to perform the ritual. But I cannot let them die, not after your sacrifice. After I save them, I will die.
Sae and Yae must escape.
Then we can be together again.
Forever.
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I fulfilled my promise to you, brother.
Sae and Yae are gone, escaping this dread place, together forever. Some of my pain seemed to lessen when I saw them run, almost as if it were us instead. I sometimes wonder, you know, what our lives would have been like if we had run, before the ritual. Maybe it would have been difficult, a struggle for survival. But we would have been together and that is all that matters.
Before you died, I might have feared death. Now, I welcome it. It is the only way I can be one with you, Mutsuki.
I know you wanted me to live. But I want to die.
You see, we have a shared destiny, you and I: when one dies, so must the other.
That is my final task.
I will take my own life.
I am locked away from the rest of the village, but it will only make this easier and without hesitation, I approach the rope. Swinging gently, it does not even seem threatening. I slip the noose around my neck and stand calmly, waiting for my destiny to be fulfilled.
Chitose, I'm sorry. You asked me so many questions after the ritual and I could not answer you. I know you must have missed Mutsuki almost as much as I did, little sister. I only hope that one day, when you discover the horrors of the Crimson Sacrifice and what became of us, you will understand why. Never forget that we loved you, and died so that you might be safe.
Mutsuki, I can hear you calling out to me. You have been waiting for so long and I cannot bear the solitude anymore.
Itsuki!Your voice, so faint but I can still answer.
I'm coming Mutsuki.
We can finally be together, never to be parted again.
I step off the platform and the pain, lasting only an instant, is a moment of sweet release that only brings me closer to you.
Mutsuki. My brother. My twin.
We are one.
Always.
The End.