Sweat glistened off Naruto's body as he climbed slowly across the giant stone faces of the six previous Hokages. Now, he had received the title of leader from the ninjas of this village, and work on his face would begin in a mere month, but he wasn't focused on that. All he cared about right now was the woman waiting for him in the abandoned caves. His muscles burned, but his heightened heart rate was not caused by the exertion. Rather, it was from anticipation. He had to save all his chakra for the coming hour, as she never was satisfied if he didn't make a flashy performance.
He scampered across the last face, and made it into the cave entrance. But before his eyes had begun to adjust to the darkness, he was struck with enough force to knock the wind out of him. Two fingered strikes rained down on every part of his body. He tried desperately to fend off the attack, but found himself virtually immobilized. His attacker had hit nearly every chakra point in his body, and with three more jabs, he collapsed on the floor.
His mind raced. What was going on? Who dared to attack him in his own city? He had defeated Pain, saving them all from utter destruction, and now, one who possessed the Byakugan. Was it Neji? Perhaps he had heard rumors of Naruto's dubious encounters as of late, but no. He felt familiar hands crawl their way up his legs, until the woman he had been coming to see was lying on his chest. Hinata's sweet breath swam into his nose as her fingers moved about beneath his shirt.
"Hinata, what are you doing?" wheezed Naruto
"I'm just having some fun." she smirked, "besides; it's my turn to be on top."
She pinned his already paralyzed body and dragged her tongue across his neck and up his face until it rested on the tip of his nose. She wiggled it back and forth suggestively, and promptly grabbed his crotch.
Naruto did not like this, not one bit, so he used the last of his strength, planted his hand on the ground, channeled his chakra and did the only thing he could.
Gamichiki poofed into existence a few feet away, took one look at the scene unfolding in near darkness and hopped backward with a coarse "What the fuck Naruto?"
"Help me" gasped Naruto as he struggled to breathe through Hinata's grip on his throat.
"You want me to attack her?" asked Gamichiki incredulously. "No, you know what, the next time you summon me, I'll just assume I know what it's about and go watch frog porn instead."
"What's wrong Gamichiki?" queried Hinata "are you afraid to get in on the real action right here?"
The large crimson frog glared at her, but did not leave the cave as she began to remove Naruto's pants.
Three hours later, a guard happened to pass by the cave opening. Upon hearing a high pitched scream she made a move to investigate, but as she got closer she was able to pick out the chorus guttural moaning, and then a loud croak followed by some truly bizarre squelching sounds. She decided that she probably shouldn't get any closer and immediately went home to cut up ninja babies and sell them to the British.