Leftovers

ooo

It was over.

The feast had been picked to the bone and the wine bottles were dry, save for a few forgotten drops. The music had ended long ago and despite the light conversation, the silence grew stronger as the attendees became drowsier. Outside, the night sky had begun to grow pale and the birds could be heard stirring awake. The few remaining stragglers took it as a final cue. The New Year was here and here to stay; they could rest easy now. One by one, they bid goodnight and departed to their respective rooms, all except for one.

Kagura sat at the empty banquet table. Though her eyes were heavily lidded and her shoulders slightly swayed, tipsy from exhaustion, she made no move to rise. With a grimace, she pictured the guest house that lay east of the estate. Great. Of all the family functions, she was stuck with the furthest room on the coldest morning with the biggest headache and the heaviest heart. She vaguely wondered how much she would be chastised for cutting her losses and sleeping in the dining hall.

She imagined if she did, and what would transpire in a few hours. The first to discover her, sprawled dead asleep on the table, would be the servants coming to clean the mess and set out breakfast. She would laugh it off, because being self-conscious about her behavior was never important anyway, and then she would steal a hot bun from the serving tray and sneak off to her room to shower and dress before the others got up. Every New Years Day, the entire family would gather for breakfast, meaning Kyou would be there too. She envisioned being in the crowded room, searching and searching until she spotted him at last. But on this particular morning, instead of rushing to greet him in a tight, spine crunching hug, she would stay rooted to her spot and turn her face away.

That was over too.

It was decided, much longer ago that she wanted to admit. No more… childish behavior. No more self-delusions. No more pursuing orange haired pipe dreams. No sir. This would be a brand new Kagura Sohma. Mature, not-at-all-torn-up-inside, alluring, and cool-headed Kagura Sohma. She smiled, in spite of her stinging eyes. But it was better late than never, she supposed, and she would have to take the facts with grace; that at the moment Kyou was celebrating New Years with Tohru where they made their home while she was alone at a ruined table.

A soft sliding noise caused her to look up in surprise. Hatori stepped into the light, accompanied by a gust of chilly air. She wasn't aware that he had left the party, or for that matter, remained awake. "Kagura." He glanced around. "Has everyone gone to bed?"

"Yes; just a few moments ago."

He turned to shut the door behind him and she quickly wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "Why are you still up?"

"I could ask you the same thing." She watched him as he kicked the snow from his shoes and onto the mat and dusted off his shoulders. It was amazing how Hatori looked so composed despite sleep deprivation, without a hair out of place. She was sure she was a mess.

"I needed a smoke." He moved closer and she could smell it on him.

"Is that so? Staying up late and smoking… you're such a bad doctor," she teased.

"Not for long."

Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "What to do you mean?"

"That was my last cigarette. I'm quitting."

Either she was overly tired, or the news was astonishing as she imagined it to be. "You are?" She couldn't remember a time before he smoked. "Really? I mean, that's great! It's a very impressive resolution."

"I don't know if you can call it that, seeing as I've been breaking it all morning trying to say goodbye."

"It's the thought that counts." She smiled. This was probably the most informal conversation she ever shared with Hatori. Out of all of the cousins, they and been the least close, and she guessed it was because of their polar personalities and the slightly shameful fact that she was scared of him when she was a child. But she did hold a secret admiration of him. He had always been intelligent and self-sufficient, so unlike the others. Now that she was older, she only saw him at family gatherings and yearly checkups and they kept their distance. She was incredulous at how openly they spoke now. "It's very brave of you. I mean, it won't be easy."

He shifted his weight, as if discomforted by the idea of the weeks to come. "No, not at all. Aside from the cravings, Shigure will most likely try to convert me back; blowing smoke rings my way and hiding packs in my desk."

Kagura thought about her own obstacles with her resolution. It wasn't like she could avoid Kyou for the rest of her life. She wasn't sure whether she had the strength to throw away her feelings so easily. "I'm sure you can do it Hatori," she said finally, with a forced smile. "And, if you want, I can help you."

His expression did not flicker but she could see he was amused by his eyes.

"It just seems like something you can't go through alone," she added hastily. Why did she always open her mouth without thinking?

"Not that I doubt you, but how would you help me?"

"Um… I… I can be around, to make sure you don't pick up a cigarette again. I can also give you moral support. And if Shigure tries anything, I'll punch him."

He laughed quietly. Contrary to his stoic nature, he did have the capacity for a chuckle now and then, yet even then it was rare that there was something to fit his brand of humor. Kagura brightened. She felt as if she had moved a mountain, getting him to laugh.

'Hatori is giving up something important to him, just like I am,' she realized. 'Something hard to quit, when he's just as stubborn as me. It's because we know it's for the better.' Kagura felt a sudden kinship with her cousin.

"What made you decide to stop?" she asked suddenly.

He was quiet for a moment. "I don't know. It was just the right time."

She nodded. It was the same for her too.

The following silence was comfortable. Something had changed and she couldn't quite put her finger on it. It was as if the years of polite distance between them had dissolved because of… because… She didn't know. If she could guess, it was because they were alone together on a morning that marked the beginning of change, and that anything, even a belated friendship, was possible.

Hatori checked his watch. "It's late. Do you want me to walk you to your room?"

She realized that she didn't feel as tired as before. And the walk to her room wouldn't be so terrible with someone keeping her company. "I would really like that," she confessed, more than relieved to dismiss the idea of camping out in the dining hall.

ooo

A/N: I've had this idea floating around for quite some time and although I have a lot of other unfinished projects to finish, I couldn't help but to work on this one. It's definitely been a fun challenge trying to match up two very different characters. I apologize if it's a bit unpolished- I'm working without a beta at the moment but if you happen to like editing, you're more than welcome to shoot me a PM. Please give any comments or criticisms you might have. They will be very much appreciated. :) Thank you for reading!

- Chii