Disclaimer: I don't own "Make It or Break It" or the song "Confidence." They are the property of Holly Sorensen and Teddy Geiger, respectively.
A/N: Guess who's back? I know I've been away for quite a while, and I apologize. Check out the bottom A/N for more, but for now, enjoy a fluffy little Nicky/Payson one-shot! =) (Note: massively cheesy ending and giant bits of fluff throughout)
Russo- Just wanted to let you know that you kinda missed your chance with Payson. She's got a boyfriend now, some guy Ike from school. You should go talk to her, because honestly, I think you're a better guy for her. Ike is a dirtball, and Pay deserves better. I think she still likes you, I really do. Please go talk to her when you get a break from training with that bee-otch Parker. –Kaylie
Kaylie Cruz's e-mail skills were nothing short of frightening. Besides her severely troublesome e-mail address (flipsydoodlekaykayXO2012? Really?), her astounding ability to pack that many different emotions into 6 measly sentences was nothing short of mind-boggling. From the snarky tone of her opening line to the begrudgingly complimentary middle sentences, from hopeful matchmaker after that to finally rest at her old standby: Kelly Parker- hating.
This many twists and turns of emotion normally wouldn't bother Nicky Russo; he had grown rather accustomed to Kaylie's slightly ADD e-mails. But after a long practice day like today, he found that his head was reeling and his stomach churning. Perhaps his inner organs hadn't gotten the message that the flipping and spinning was over for the day, or perhaps it was simply his base reaction to the main point of Kaylie's correspondence: Payson had a boyfriend, and it wasn't him.
Nicky cringed, pushing the thought aside. Payson had every right to have a boyfriend: she was no longer training at the Rock and therefore no longer bound by the dating restriction. He didn't know why he was so surprised, either. Payson Keeler was extremely attractive, so it was only a matter of time before one of those sex-starved vultures at the public high school made a move on the "fresh meat." If he could understand this happening and justify it, why, then, was he still in shock about the fact that it had come to pass?
Could it be that you expected her to wait for you? A nagging little voice in the back of his mind questioned. Did you honestly expect Payson to give up on her entire social life just because you kissed her once and never had the decency to talk to her about what it might have meant?
Dismissal of this thought should have been easy. He knew that Payson wouldn't wait for him after he moved to Denver; hadn't that been one of the reasons he left the Rock in the first place? The gym hadn't felt right without Keeler's presence. She had always been the first girl in the gym, second in overall arrival time only to Nicky 'Android' Russo. Training in the early mornings without seeing her stretching or hearing the creek of the bars as she practiced was a strange thing; right after her injury, it had seemed like he was training with a ghost, perhaps the ghost of what Payson could have been.
Switching gyms had felt like the only option at that point. The silence of those early morning practice sessions had been maddening. He told himself it was because he missed the sounds of her training; most likely because he couldn't face the fact that he was the one who had given her the cortisone. Regardless of whether she had used it or not, he felt responsible. It also didn't hurt that, you know, he was in LOVE with her-
Wait, where had that thought come from? Nicky was puzzled, but also felt a great weight lift off of his shoulders. It was like he had finally faced the truth: he was in love with Payson Keeler. Now, if only he could go back in time and tell her that he loved her before she started dating this Ike guy…
With a pained grimace, he turned attention back to his computer and Kaylie's e-mail. He scrolled down to exit the message, but paused with his mouse over the exit button as he realized that she had included a link to an outside website. What is it now, some new 'Kaylicky' article? He thought, annoyed. He clicked the link hesitantly, slightly scared of what Kaylie Cruz had found worthy enough to include in her e-mail.
The window opened, and to his delight there was no new headline about how "CUUUTTTTTTEEE" a couple he made with Kaylie, nor were there any new "exclusive photos of the 'Golden Couple'" that were obviously Photoshopped. Instead, there were song lyrics, along with a video that provided a step-by-step tutorial on how to play the song.
Intrigued, Nicky clicked back over to the e-mail, wondering if there was some sort of explanation. Conveniently enough, Kaylie had provided: Russo- I don't know if you know this, but Payson loves music. Honestly, musician ranks just behind athlete on her "things to look for in a guy" list (no, I don't think she has an actual list, but I've had this conversation with her before and… you know what? Just trust me). I was listening to this song yesterday and I thought you might give it a shot. You never know, it might work!
Ok, now he was REALLY intrigued. He opened the window with the lyrics again and read them through, smiling to himself as he read. This was perfect. No, this was more than perfect! Cruz had come through for him, and he owed her a huge favor. Now the only issue was learning how to play the damn song… Wait a minute! Who did he know that was currently dating a singer/guitarist?
He dashed over to his phone, opening his contacts and scrolling furiously until he found the one that he needed. As soon as the ringing gave way to a human voice, he could no longer contain himself. "Emily? I need Damon's help, ASAP."
His heart pounded as he dropped the borrowed six-string into the trunk of his car. He tried to remember everything that future rock star Damon Young had taught him, from the proper posture and positioning of the guitar to the pitches he actually had to sing. What if he messed up? He couldn't take the humiliation if this went wrong. But what if he didn't mess up? What if he played the song perfectly, hit all of the right notes, got everything right, but it didn't work?
What was he thinking? There was no way Payson would leave her boyfriend for him, and to even ask her to think about doing so was completely unfair. He was ready to back out now, to just turn tail and forget the entire thing. But a little voice inside his head (the nagging one he had been hearing lately was back, it seemed) chimed in. You'll never know until you try, Russo. Come to think of it, that voice sounded a lot like Kaylie…
Regardless, Nicky decided that the voice was right. He could spend all night trying to imagine Payson's reaction, or he could get his butt in gear and go for broke. He slammed the trunk of his car closed, opened the driver's side door, and hopped in before he could change his mind yet again.
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The Keelers' driveway was empty, just as Kaylie had promised it would be. She had informed him in a subsequent phone call that Mr. and Mrs. Keeler would be attending a dinner with the Cruz parents, and Payson had mentioned to her that Becca was sleeping over a friend's house. Therefore, the coast was clear on this particular evening, which gave Nicky some solace. At least if he crashed and burned, there were no witnesses.
Parking across the street from the Keeler house, Nicky grabbed the guitar out of the trunk. He walked around to the backyard, set the guitar down on the garden bench, and pulled out his phone.
Payson- There's something going on in your backyard. You might wanna check it out. – Nicky
He took the guitar out of its case, slipped the strap around himself, and sat on the bench waiting for his chance to arrive.
The buzzing phone on her nightstand snapped Payson Keeler out of her thoughts. They were deep thoughts, no doubt, as Payson Keeler was a deep girl. What could she be thinking about? World peace? Good vs. evil? The eternal question of how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? No. Shockingly, Payson's thoughts were occupied by a boy.
Well, two boys, to be exact. She was mulling the state of her relationships with both, starting with Ike Benzinger, her current boyfriend. Ike was a sweet guy, not that you'd ever know it by the tough-act he put on at school and with his friends. He had completely re-evaluated his way of thinking since meeting her, which caused some conflicting emotions on her part. On the one hand, she appreciated the fact that he was willing to change that drastically for her. On the other, she was wary of the fact that he had had to change in order to be someone she could see herself with.
If Payson Keeler had learned anything from being friends with Kaylie Cruz and Lauren Tanner and being the recipient of their guy advice/rantings, it was to never trust a relationship where the guy changes for you. It starts off as a sweet gesture, but it quickly sours things. After a point, you realize that the person you have these feelings for is not who your significant other really is. The thought of that happening to her and Ike was somewhat saddening, but not nearly as much as the realization that it already had.
Which is why, that afternoon, she had broken up with Ike. She hadn't told any of her friends yet because she could hardly believe it herself. Ike seemed to take it in stride, but she had a feeling he would be going back to his old, "outside the rules" lifestyle quite quickly.
The second boy on her mind was the one that had been on her mind for a while now, one who she had always been interested in but never was sure what he felt about her. Nicky Russo was quite the enigma, and since his move to Denver, he had been more prevalent in her thoughts than ever. She tried to tell herself that it was only because she didn't want to forget him, but she doubted that she ever could. Nicky was so incredibly supportive after her injury, so sweet and caring that there would never be enough thanks to repay him. She was so lost in her happy recollections of time spent talking and laughing with Nicky that she thought she must have been hallucinating when she saw the name on the display of her phone.
One New Text from: Nicky Russo. Payson could have sworn her heart skipped a beat. Why was he texting her? They really hadn't talked since he had left, just small conversations every now and again. Puzzled, she opened the message. Her confusion increased tenfold when she read his mysterious message. She threw on her Rock jacket over her back brace, t-shirt, and sweats, slid on a pair of sneakers, and slipped into the backyard.
Nicky saw Payson exit the house before she saw him. Taking a nervous breath, he began to strum the guitar:
Wandering the streets, in a world underneath it all
Nothing seems to be, nothing tastes as sweet
As what I can't have
He saw her head whip toward him, catching sight of him and donning a shocked expression on her face. He recognized one of her nervous habits rearing its head as she began wrapping her hair into little coils around her finger, perfectly in time with his next lines:
Like you and the way that you're twisting your hair
round your finger
Tonight I'm not afraid to tell you
What I feel about you.
The blush that had crept on to her face was clearly evident even in the dim moonlight of the evening. She approached hesitantly, a look of curiosity accompanying the new coloring in her cheeks. He played on:
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
and cannon ball into the water
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
For you I will
Payson reached his spot on the bench, sitting on the stone wall that ran behind the bench in order to face Nicky. Her undivided attention scared him slightly, but he knew what he had to say.
Forgive me if I st-stutter
From all of the clutter in my head
Cause I could fall asleep in those eyes
Like a water bed
Do I seem familiar, I've crossed you in hallways
a thousand times, no more camouflage
I want to be exposed, and not be afraid to fall.
Fear of falling, both in the literal and figurative senses, was a deeply embedded part of Nicky's character. Falling to him meant a loss of control, a time where he wasn't the master of his own destiny. In short, he hated falling. But with Payson, he lost his fear. He was content to not have control, to not be in charge. When he was with her, he was perfectly happy to just go with the flow. He had finally gotten over his fear of falling, just in time to fall head over heels. Perfect timing, no?
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
And cannon ball into the water
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
You always want what you can't have
But I've got to try
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
For you I will
For you I will
For you
Payson was in shock, to say the least. Assuming Nicky meant what he was singing (and she had never known Nicky Russo not to mean what he said), he felt much the same way about her that she did about him. She was thrilled by this possibility, but, like every teenage girl, she had to wonder: what would he do for her? What was he willing to do to demonstrate his feelings? Her timing was impeccable, for she had her answer within seconds:
If I could dim the lights in the mall That's what I'd do,
And create a mood I would
Shout out your name so it echoes in every room, yeah
That's what I'd do,
That's what I'd do,
To get through to you
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
And cannon ball into the water
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
You always want what you can't have
But I've got to try
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
For you I will
For you I will
For you I will
Nicky finished singing and played the outro, strumming with a look of concentration on his face that Payson had seen many times while watching him in competition. It was strange to see it applied outside of the gym, however she supposed it was just an integral part of his mentality; that whatever he did, he wanted to be the best at.
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Hitting the last note with his attempt at a "rock star flourish" like Damon had taught him, Nicky looked up to observe the reaction on Payson's face. The smile she had was slightly unexpected, but he reasoned that it could be a far worse reaction. He took off the guitar, setting on the ground next to him, and braced himself for Payson's reply.
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"Umm… Wow. I never knew you could play guitar, Nicky… That was impressive." Payson said. She had no idea how to respond. Actually, she did. It was just hard for her to put into words. Considering that Nicky had just poured his heart out to her, however, she felt as though she didn't have an excuse. She took a deep breath and opened her mouth to reply.
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After Payson's initial reaction, Nicky was slightly terrified. It sounded like she was setting herself up to reject him, but was only trying to figure out the wording. He decided that he needed to get his part out now, before she could say anything else.
"Payson, I know you have a boyfriend. I respect that, I do. But I need you to know how I feel about you, because the truth is that I've never fallen this hard for anyone. I've never fallen before, period. Hell, I'm a gymnast. I've been trained all my life to avoid falling, but I can't avoid it anymore. Payson, when I'm with you, I feel more like myself than I do with anyone else. You understand me; you know my strengths and weaknesses, sometimes more than I know them myself. Payson Keeler, what I'm trying to say is that I think I'm in love with you." He finished this monologue with a deep breath, steeling himself in preparation for what he thought might be some of the longest moments of his life.
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Payson couldn't believe what she had heard. Nicky Russo, the guy that could have any girl he wanted, was in love with her. It was almost too much for her to process, but she gradually became aware that he deserved an answer from her. She got up off of the wall and sat next to him on the bench. Slowly, she began to speak.
"Wow… Ok, first off, I don't have a boyfriend. I guess somebody told you that I was with Ike, but the operative word there is was. I broke up with him this afternoon, so I'm completely single. And I'm glad you feel that way about me, because I think I'm in love with you, too." She took a bit of pleasure in seeing his jaw drop, but continued on. "Your point about falling is completely understood here, especially considering the whole 'back brace' thing. But you know what? I've fallen for you, and this is the one fall that I don't think I want to recover from."
The two sat there for a moment just digesting what had passed between them. Then, simultaneously, they both broke into wide smiles. Nicky slipped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her in closer to him. Payson looked up at him, and Nicky stared down into her eyes. They leaned toward each other, and their lips met in a tender kiss. They pulled apart reluctantly after some time had passed, and Payson leaned back contentedly into Nicky's strong arms.
"The stars are beautiful tonight," Nicky remarked, staring into the night sky.
"They are," Payson agreed. "I wish I could have one for myself, just to keep." Teasingly, she added, "If only I had a nice boyfriend named Nicky who could get me a star of my very own.
Nicky looked down at her smiling face, and smiled himself. "For you, I will, Pay. For you, I will."
A/N: I am SOOOOOOOOOOOO sorry for the insane leave of absence! I've been super busy for the past like 7 months, so fanfictions haven't really been on my mind. However, I do come bearing gifts: more insight into my writing process/ideas/life in general. I've included the link to my Twitter on my profile, as well as a blog that I recently started. Check it out if you want!
And don't worry, fans of "Heart of a Champion," "Intervention," and "Solid as the Rock," those fictions will continue slowly but surely from now on. I promise! =)
