I do not know how many chapters this will end up being.

Anyways.

This is set right after Mello leaves Wammy's house, told from Matt's perspective. I will do a chapter from Matt, then from Mello, and so on. Enjoy =]

-BrightXblack

He was gone.

My blonde, chocolate eating best friend was gone.

The angel faced, dirty minded love of my short, pathetic life was gone.

When I say gone, I don't mean gone like misplacing a gameboy. You can always find it, if you look hard enough. Or you can get a new one.

I mean gone, like abandoning you, with almost no hope that you will ever find him, no matter how long and hard you look.

And Mello could never, ever, ever be replaced.

I laid on his bed, burying my face in the smell of chocolate and sweat.

The only indications he had ever been here.

Without them, I could have convinced myself I was insane, that I had made him up, and all I had to do to get him back was fuck with my own head a little bit.

Unfortunately, I highly doubt anyone could have the imagination to make Mello up, let alone myself.

As I lay there, I remembered…I don't know how old I was when I was brought to Wammy's House. Mello would know. All I remember is that a middle-aged man came to my house one day, the day after my father had left us for good, abandoning my mom and I alone in our tiny flat. I was happy about this, because it meant he wouldn't hurt my mommy or me anymore. The man led my mother into the kitchen to talk with her. I was scared at first, and hid in my room, because all the men I knew hit her. And sometimes me. But then my mother came to get me. She was smiling. It was a tearful smile, but it was genuine. She hugged me, and told me to pack all my things in a beat up, canvas bag she gave me. I did not have much, just some old, holey jeans and ragged shirts. It was winter, and it was cold, so my mother gave me a thick scarf with uneven stripes that she had made, and a pair of boots that were way too big for me. I loved them. As she wrapped me up in the black and white wool, she explained to me what was happening. I had done real well on some tests and things at the crappy public school I went to, she said. This man was our friend. He had come to take me to a faraway school for smart people like me. I would be happy there, she promised. She would miss me 'something fierce, my little Mail Jeevas', but it would be best if I went. I hugged her around her neck with my little arms.

"If you think it'sa good for me Mommy. I'm gonna miss you too though." She smiled again, and told me it was time to go. I held her hand when we went to the man, scared still. But he smiled, and his eyes crinkled in such a way that made me think he smiled a lot. Watari was his name, he told me. He said he thought that I would fit in at his school real well, and he wanted me to come with him. I said I wanted to go. Hugging my mommy tight, I said goodbye, walking out the door with no second thoughts.

Later, I found out she had died of a terminal disease. She knew about it, but didn't want me to see her suffer. One of the many reasons she sent me to Wammy's.

Noticing that I had next to no possessions, Watari bought me a little gameboy to entertain me on the long airplane ride. I was hooked immediately, and thanked him a lot.

The school itself stunned me. Even in winter, it looked alive and warm. The big iron gates opened to an even bigger brick mansion, the most enormous building I had seen in my little life. When we got inside, Watari looked me up and down and told me he was going to get me some proper clothes. When he asked what I liked, I had no idea what to say. Nobody had ever offered me a choice in clothes before. I finally held up the scarf that was still wrapped around my neck.

"You like stripes?" Watari asked. I nodded, and he smiled. "Come along now, I will take you to Roger."

'Roger' turned out to be the rather bored looking man who acted as head of the school. He looked at me, asked my name, gave me a new name, 'Matt', and assigned me a room. I would share with a kid named 'Mello' he said.

"W-why am I called 'Matt' now?" I asked Watari as he took me to the room. "Is it a'cause people can't know my real name?"

"That is precisely why, 'Matt'. Very good. It is because your name is something special, something only you should know. Because of how smart you are, people may want to hurt you. This new name, and this entire school is to keep you safe."

I pondered this the rest of the way to my room.

"Well, here we are," Watari said as we stopped at a heavy, mahogany door. He looked at me for a moment and then, "Good luck Mail."

I put my bag down on one of the beds in the handsome little room. Going to the window, I found myself about 2 stories above ground, looking down on a big yard, with trees, iron benches, and brick pathways connecting it all. A sudden wind blew my red hair into my face, making me shiver and pull the window closed. Turning around, I began eyeing the bed my bag was on, finally venturing to go sit down on it. I had never been on a proper bed before. At the flat I had lived in, I shared a big mattress that sat on the floor with my mother, if my father was away for the night. If he was home, he engaged my mother in activities that required the mattress. In that case, I slept on the floor. Lost in thought, I was very surprised when an angry blonde kid stormed through the door.

"Son of a bitch… So you're the kid who's rooming with me? Don't answer that. I'm not second in this goddamn house for nothing. Of course you're the new kid. That's why you're sitting on my bed. Get the fuck off!"

Too surprised and hurt to complain, I grabbed my bag and scurried to the other bed.

"I-I'm s-s-sorry. M-Mello?"

"Who the fuck else? What did they name you?"

"Matt…"

"Matt. I think 'Red' would have sufficed. Is you're fucking hair really that color?"

I nodded.

"Is not!" He streaked across the room and pulled my hair until I cried out. He just smirked and began walking out of the room, to my relief. I didn't like my roommate so far, but I was a kid who hated to complain. I wanted to try and stick it out for a while. I had endured my father, hadn't I? How could this boy be any worse? That's what I thought.

But, if he wasn't worse, he was just as bad. I had arrived just after dinner that night, so I stayed in the room and tried to make myself shrink into my mattress when Mello came back in. To my relief, he didn't automatically attack me, like my first encounter with him, instead glaring at me and rifling through his dresser.

It gave me a chance to look at him. If not for his slender, masculine body, I would have thought he was a girl, from his face. It sounds like an odd combination, a girl's head on a boy's body, but Mello made it work. He wore all black, even as a little kid, and had orange tinted goggles hanging around his neck. His blonde hair fell past his ears and was cut straight over his eyes. Mello, finding what he was looking for, sat back on his bed, biting into the bar of chocolate he had stashed in the bottom dresser drawer.

"Are-are you allowed to-to d-do that?" I squeaked, forgetting who I was talking to, I suppose.

He was on me in a second, chocolate bar in one hand, my hair in the other. "And why the fuck do you fucking care? Son of a bitch…"

Mello had a very colorful vocabulary, and uncontrollable emotions, even as a kid.

"B-B-Because I don't a-want you t-to get in tr-trouble?" It was more of a question than an answer. I thought it was a good reason.

Apparently, he didn't. I know, because I received a punch in the face. "Worry about yourself motherfucker."

He got off of me, leaving me in a shaking heap on my bed. I was crying from the stinging blow. "Y-you're just like my f-f-f-father!" I managed to sob out. To my surprise, Mello looked at me when I said that. I was too upset to care if he was going to punch me again, so I went on… "H-He was mean to me and M-M-Mommy… And he said words just like you, and h-hit us just like you did! Mommy s-said it would b-be better here. B-b-but it's not! B-because of y-y-you!" I buried my face in my knees, expecting him to come over and kill me.

So to my immense surprise, although I was shaking too hard to show it, I felt Mello very awkwardly put his arms around me, like he wasn't used to hugging people. He sat there until I finally stopped crying, falling asleep on the boy I had hated with all my little strength ten minutes ago.

I hated him again, with all my fourteen-year-old strength, as I cried my soul out in the very same room, the very same position, and he wasn't there to hold me. Instead, I held his pillow. I was too caught up in my grief to care what I saw under the pillow… But finally, I managed to catch my breath and investigate.

Mello's goggles. Their familiar black bands and orange tinted lenses made my eyes tear again. But I slipped them over my head and forced myself to pick up the piece of paper underneath them, reading through the orange tint now over my eyes.

It was what I had hoped… It was a note from Mello. My heart pounded as I unfolded and read his delicate, scrawly writing…

My Matty,

I love you. I am sorry I had to leave. Please don't hate me. Wear my goggles for me, okay?

Love, Mello

Matt stared disbelievingly at the paper. That was it? No… If Mello had taken the time to leave him a note, he would have left him some clue as to how to find him! He must have. He had not had the time to do anything to elaborate and difficult to figure out… Matt took the goggles off so he could see the note better.

Goggles… The word 'goggles' was italicized.

'Christ, I'm dumb' thought Matt as he saw the tiny numbers written across the nosepiece.

90002

Matt had no idea what it meant at that moment, but he didn't care. Mello had left him a way to find each other, and wanted Matt to come looking.

"Mello…" He whispered, "I'm going to find you. Love, Matt"