It's me again!
Another ficcie…but this time I'll try another pairing…the Silver Pair…
I'm so…intrigued(?) by them, especially Choutarou ('coz he's so CUTE! WAAAAAAAHHH (fangirl mode))
But seriously…this one will be different…read and find out…
BTW, I know from sources that Shishido is in his last year. Last year of what? Junior high? Like that of the 3rd years in Seigaku? Please answer so that I can edit this…
Here goes…
PoT and the letter aren't mine…
AISHITERU
"Shishido-san…th-this is for you…"
Choutarou, his hands trembling (and inwardly and, unconsciously, outwardly blushing), gave his senpai, just recently a graduate from junior high, a piece of folded paper in his hands. Choutarou made himself the trouble of attending his senpai's commencement rites.
"Th-that w-would b-be all, Sh-shishido-s-an…Anyways, c-congratulations on your grad-duation. I-I hope for your h-happiness in high school, Sh-shis-sido-s-san-n," Choutarou said, trembling, looking like on the verge of tears, before turning and walking away towards his home. Shishido thought that he heard a sniffling sound and, in the distance, he thought he saw Choutarou bringing his hand up to the level of his eyes, but that seemed to be his imagination…or so he thought…
When he reached his home, after his parents celebrated his graduation from junior high, without a single thought or ado, he said that he would like to rest.
When he got to his room (after locking the door), he undressed his dress clothes and put on his usual wear. He remembered that Choutarou gave him something when the rites were finished. He remembered that he stuffed it inside his pants pocket. He retrieved it, then, as he went to his bedside desk, he turned off the lights, turned on the lampstand on it, then examined what his kouhai had given him.
He observed the object: it was just an ordinary piece of ordinary bond paper, folded in the styles of letters mailed to the receiver. When he unfolded it, out came a multitude of scribbled yet neat lines, all in Choutarou's distinctive neat penmanship, all written in the usual black ink Choutarou uses in writing everyday trivial things. After examining all the observable details in the paper, he began to read his kouhai's message.
How are you, senpai? I hope you're in good condition…even though I know you're always in good condition. Me? Here, doing nothing of interest, always looking into nothingness, looking into the distance, always thinking of what would happen next…
Aren't the events great? It just seemed like yesterday when I first met you when I was drafted as a regular on the tennis team, moreover when we officially became a doubles pair, and all that seemed like something as great news to me…that is, until the news of your forthcoming graduation from junior high came…If ever that happens, and in two days it will happen, I will be the loneliest person, if not in the whole world…and that is because of you, senpai…
When I first saw you, one month after junior high started, something inside of me sparked. I felt something more, more than the exhilarating feeling I felt when winning practices and matches with you. I felt my whole body warming up–from head to toe–whenever I see your eyes, your eyes full of determination and of confidence and yet with caring for me as your kouhai. It feels as if looking at you makes my heart flutter, my heart skipping a beat, firing up that inner feeling of you. I felt that I was falling, falling in love with you, falling HOPELESSLY in love with you, the whole of you…
Ever since we became a doubles pair, along with Oshitari-senpai and Mukahi-senpai, that feeling for you intensified, even when we were practicing each other, that feeling for you intensifies. Even though when you observed that I seem to be concentrating on my serves and stances, deep inside, I hide that feeling for you.
My earnest wish for you is for you to be always happy in your life, I wish for your good health and long life, I wish for your academic success in your upcoming high school life, I wish for a person who is worthy for you; a person who can always make you happy and will be your lifetime partner till the end, I wish for you to forget my presence and the whole of me on you when the rites happen, yet, I wish that the senpai that I first met be always the senpai that I have and had always known.
Before I finish this letter, there is something that I have wanted to say these past few months, but due to limited time, due to the fear of rejection, and due to the pain of separation forever, have reduced my message to you to writing: AISHITERU, SHISHIDO-SAN. I have liked you and I have loved you when I first met and saw you, I loved you with my whole heart, I loved you more than my relatives and loved ones, I loved you more than my life, I loved you. But here only in this letter can I say this to you, because ever since it was written and it was dictated in Heaven, in Earth, and in our Fates that we are never to be, and never will be, for each other. For my love for you was, is, and will be an illusion; my love for you was, is, and will be forbidden.
Do you remember those moments and those times when you catch me looking at you; those times when I was looking at your stature, your face full of confidence and determination yet also full of caring, your smiles which you reserve only to and for me, and your sparkling yet confident eyes? Hontou ni gomenasai. Forgive me for always looking at you…because only once in my life do I encounter and meet a person and a friend such as you…
Farewell to you, farewell to all of my memories of you, farewell to all of your smiles, farewell to the love that is forbidden and an illusion, farewell to all of you…
-0-
…Sayonara…
After reading his kouhai's letter, he didn't notice that while he was reading, he felt that his eyes were suddenly beginning to moisten, something near his eyes contracting, something wet gashing and streaking across his cheek, and something in his heart making that effect as if he had been…hurt…
His kouhai had confessed of his "illusional and forbidden" love to him; he didn't know that his kouhai, his doubles-partner and teammate, his closest friend, confessing to him in which he viewed the event too late to mention out.
'That was why he was trembling like that a while ago. And I think when he left, he really did cry. But I didn't know that he felt…t-this…feeling for me…' Shishido spoke in his mind.
As he readied himself for sleep, he turned off the lamp and he left the letter half closed, half opened, yet, even when he tried to sleep, the contents of the letter and Choutarou's invisible tears seemed to plague him of his incontrovertible fault…
AISHITERU…he thought of that small yet powerful word…AISHITERU…Never did it occur to him that his kouhai had already fallen in love with him, even as they were practicing with each other, even when they were with each other…that was why he always (or sometimes) catches sight of Choutarou looking at him…
Yet, unknowingly, when he thought all of this out, he realized that when they held the graduation rites, he also realized that this was the last day wherein they would see each other again…the very thought of him made him realize that for the past 11 months they were together, he only realized it now, now that for the last time Choutarou had talked to him, that he truly felt something for his kouhai. Yet, as Choutarou had mentioned, it was already too late for the both of them.
How was it, then?
I know it's kind of sad, but the idea of unrequited love between Choutarou and Shishido has been buzzing on my mind for a while…
BTW, I might add another chapter here even though the status is complete…kind of a follow-up…
If you're gonna ask me about that letter, well, I'm not going to give any details about that…
Reviews pls…