Synchronization

I cried myself to sleep for that whole week. Then you came, and you picked up the pieces of my broken heart, and I yelled at you because you weren't supposed to catch me. I wanted to fall. RobStar.

XX

I was crying. Again. I was dreaming, too, but not the good sort of dreams that made you smile in your sleep. I was crying because the dream wasn't full of cotton candy and carnivals; it was full of hugs and kisses and love with a face. It was what I needed and wanted and desperately craved. There wasn't a single dream like this one; in each one, the words were different.

"I love you, please don't change. Not even for me."

"I want to be with you forever. Marry me, darling?"

(and at darling, I would start crying again.)

"Please, babe, don't leave! I love you so much, you're my everything, I can't live without you!"

This time, the love with a face spoke of what I had heard that night of my death. "I love you…. You know that right?" I nodded. "But, I think we need to take some time off." Then I placed words in your mouth, I screamed them until you drowned and swam away.

"I'm suffocating, I'm lying, and I never liked your ugly face."

I woke up sweating and crying and drowning in my pillow.

XX

"Kory?" you said to me once. I didn't look up. I think I was drowning then. "You need to get over it, Kor."

I screamed at you. I cried again. You didn't flinch, though. You knew me too well to run.

You hugged me and kissed my head and rubbed away the burns until I was numb with love and hate and passion. You didn't run, either, when I kissed you and then cried because I knew it was wrong. You just hugged me again, and then hesitated before deciding not to push it.

"Kory?" you said to me that night. "I think I'm in love with you."

I cried again. This time my nightmares were in real life, and I pushed you out of my house and let you drift with the snow. I didn't dream that night. I had used them all up.

XX

You didn't say anything else to me anymore. You were as lost as I was, and I saw you each day drowning in your sorrows. I cried again, not because of nightmares or heavenly dreams, but because I had reduced you to what I was: a dead person.

I didn't touch you. I knew what it was like to be dead, and I knew I didn't want to be caught. I had never wanted to be caught, and I hope you know that by now. I wanted to fall and hit the pavement like everyone else who has truly suffered. It was my goal, and you killed it like you killed me.

But suddenly I felt more alone than ever. I finally went over to you, standing taller than in my whole life, and said, "Richard, you need to get over it."

You just looked at me like I was insane. I was sure I was long past that point, and I think you knew that already. Tears fell, from both you and me, and I hugged you and kissed you and rubbed away the burns that used to be my own. You kissed me hugged me, and you also rubbed away my burns. I think all of our scars were gone when we finally moved in synchronization.

You kissed me and I kissed you back, and we forgot about our lost loves and dead people.

We fell together that night. We both had many nightmares.