Jasper POV

They threw a party for me and for an hour or so we pretended to be happy, choosing to forget the means for this celebration. When it was over I went outside to sit in the garden alone, but just minutes after I left I heard footsteps quietly walking towards me. I sensed by the gentle presence surrounding me that it was Esme.

"Do you mind if I join you?" She asked me.

"Not at all," I said. There was a rustle as Esme landed gracefully by my side on the creaky wooden bench. I knew before what she was going to say to me before she even spoke.

"Don't go Jasper," She whispered, "Please don't go."

"I'm sorry Esme, I just can't stay here right now. I'll be back, I promise," I assured her patiently. This wasn't the first time we had had this conversation.

"I know its difficult right now," Esme began. I tried to speak but she put her hands out, "Just hear me out, Jasper. I know its difficult, but it'll get better. The grief is still raw... for all of us. But right now leaving your family isn't the best of ideas. You need us. And we need you." The pleading tone in her voice was heartbreaking.

Life was so much easier when people didn't care about you so much.

"Esme this is something I have to do. You might not understand, but please let me go. I promise it won't be forever. I'll come back," I said. I couldn't look her in the eye, the hurt I saw there whenever I did was too much to bear.

"But when, Jasper? And for how long?" Esme cried, "I consider you to be my son, you know that, and I can't loose you."

There was a long silence after that. I didn't know what to say to Esme. I had made my decision, how could I make that more obvious? My bags were packed upstairs and I had booked the plane tickets days ago. Esme had had time to prepare herself for this moment. Suddenly I hear her sigh through the darkness.

"You know what, Jasper? Maybe I'm being selfish here. I don't mean to make you feel guilty, I'm just sad that you're leaving us. But if you really want to go, then go. Don't let me stop you," Esme said gently, quietly.

"Thank you," I whispered, grasping Esme's hand and squeezing it. I didn't usually make such physical contact, so, making the most of my tender mood, Esme gingerly reached out and wrapped her arms tightly around me, enveloping me in love and warmth.

"Be safe, Jasper. Please just be safe," Esme muttered in my ear.

We both got up and Esme took hold of my hand as we walked together back in to the house. Edward and Rosalie were clearing up the decorations in the living room, and when they saw our approach they looked at Esme hopefully.

"I've come to say goodbye," I announced. I felt their moods droop in disappointment.

Rosalie simply dropped the broom she was holding and stomped up the stairs in an angry flash. Edward sighed but walked towards me.

"Look after yourself," He said, winding an arm around my shoulders and clenching tightly. I patted his back. Behind Edward appeared Carlisle and Emmett. Carlisle smiled at me.

"I believe in your decision, Jasper. I know this will be a good thing for you," He said. Carlisle had supported my decision to leave the clan for a while ever since I first mentioned it, but hearing his final blessing before I left was important to me.

"Good luck out there, bro," Emmett said, punching my shoulder lightly, "You better not get too cosy with another clan while you're gone."

"Don't worry, I'll always be a Cullen," I said with a grin.

"There's always a place for you here, darling. Don't forget that," Esme said firmly. She had to step on to her tip toes to kiss my cheek.

I stood back and drank them all in. Carlisle, with his sharp, wise golden eyes and pale blond hair. Esme with her kind eyes and honey coloured mane. Emmett, impossibly strong and stocky. Edward, tall and muscular, with his tousled bronze hair. My family. I swallowed hard.

I had to leave then before the moment became too much for us all. Emmett helped me with my bags to the car. He had offered to drive me to the airport but I said that I preferred to go alone. I could just abandon the car in the airport car park, I didn't really want it anymore. After my bags were all stored carefully in the boot of the car I slipped in to the drivers seat and revved up the engine.

I made the effort to try and flood them all with contentment before I left. My family waved at me sadly from the front door, but the last thing I saw before I drove away was Rosalie stood at the window, an unfathomable expression on her beautiful face.

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