Not With a Whimper

Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy in any way, shape, or form.

Ok, time to give the rundown of everything. This is the continuation of Sins of the Past, so I strongly recommend reading that first if you haven't already. The Locke/Celes pairing will eventually surface, however, it will not be the focus of the story. As this is centered around Celes, I will be making some significant changes or additions to some events of the game. Following the tone of Sins, this is a darker, more tragic portrayal of Celes' character, her struggles with herself, and how she comes to terms with her fate.

CONTENT WARNING: This chapter is rated M (Mature) for adult material involving rape and brief coarse language. Although it is not very explicit, reader discretion is advised. The rest of this work will be rated T for periodic violence and language.

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Between the idea and the reality
Between the motion and the act
Falls the Shadow

Between the conception and the creation
Between the emotion and the response
Falls the Shadow

Between the desire and the spasm
Between the potency and the existence
Between the essence and the descent
Falls the Shadow

This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper

Excerpt from "The Hollow Men" by T. S. Eliot

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Chapter One: Not a Whimper

I vowed to serve you till death, and till death I will serve.

You have yet to fulfill your purpose.

My duty is to the Empire. I shall never betray nor abandon it.

You, Child, possess a gift handed down by the divine Goddesses. You are the last descendant of Rune.

You are who you choose to be.

You will fall from that grace before the end.

The real trick is learning not to make those mistakes in the first place.

You were born the Angel of Death.

You will have to choose to be reborn.

Embrace your destiny.

She awoke to the sound of her cell door slamming shut. Opening her eyes, she looked down and saw a bowl of white mush on a tray at her feet. There was also a cup of water, but although her burning throat and parched lips screamed for relief, she knew the water would be contaminated with things she preferred not to imagine.

Ignoring the food and water, the woman squinted through the dim light at her surroundings. The walls of the small space were red brick, and the floor under her was cold gray stone. The oaken door was adorned with large rusty iron hinges and studs, and there was only a tiny window in it barred by iron rods. Only a faint light came through that porthole from the hallway, and the scampering of rats could be heard from outside.

The chains that bound her hands to the wall were long enough to allow her to slump on the floor, but her arms still hung uncomfortably above her head, and her entire body ached from spending the night in that position. The idea of casting a quick cure spell came to her, but then she noticed the syringe stuck into her arm, a silencing agent, no doubt.

She heard footsteps and three muffled voices outside her cell. Keys jingled at the lock, and the door was pushed open, creaking loudly on the rusty hinges. In walked one officer and two soldiers. The woman immediately recognized the one as Sgt. Xander, one of the mutinous officers behind her arrest.

"Good morning, General," he scorned. "Slept well, I hope?"

She wanted to scrape the smugness off his face with the edge of her dagger, but she forced herself to appear undisturbed.

"Not even a greeting?" Xander complained.

"When they release me, I'm going to kill you," she replied calmly.

The sergeant chuckled at that. "Who said anything about you being released?"

"The Imperial Court wouldn't convict me of a moving violation, let alone treason."

Xander smirked. "Oh, no, you see, there isn't going to be a trial. General Palazzo already condemned you a traitor and therefore you are to be executed in three days' time."

Her face fell. "He can't do that."

"Who's here to stop him?"

"Leo is on his way to—"

"By the time General Cristophe gets here, you'll have been killed trying to escape," he said slyly.

His smirk only grew as the realization sunk in with her completely. She had been betrayed.

The two soldiers with Xander shortened her chains, forcing her to stand, and the sergeant pushed the blonde hair way from her face.

"Now, being the general you are, I'm sure you're well aware of what happens to traitors," Xander mocked.

She narrowed her eyes. "You'll never get away with this." Xander cocked an eyebrow, and she elaborated. "Leo's not stupid, he'll figure it out."

"But by then it'll be too late," he said, running a finger down the side of her face. "And there won't be a thing he can do."

"Leo doesn't have the balls to stand up to Kefka," one of the guards added.

"And Kefka gave us permission to do whatever we want to you." Xander stepped closer until there were mere inches between them. "So you will try to scream for me, won't you?" he asked, tracing her jaw line with his finger.

She turned her head away in disgust when he pressed her against the wall, crushing his lips against the soft flesh of her neck. The anger swelled in her as Xander's hands roamed her body, fondling and squeezing her, and when she felt a growing bulge brush her thigh, she lashed out, kneeing him in the groin. He stumbled back, but immediately retorted by striking her across the face.

"You stupid whore!" Xander grunted.

He struck her again and again before finally kneeing her in the abdomen, leaving her gasping for air, bruised and bleeding. Xander took the opportunity to drop his trousers, and he motioned for the guards to restrain the woman. They held her arms to the wall and hooked their legs around hers to keep her from kicking. She struggled as Xander loosened the laces at her waist, but the guards' grip held firm. The sergeant pushed the garments down, exposing to him that which he sought.

As he locked his lips onto hers, his hands continued to explore the crevices of her body, one crawling under her jerkin to the smooth skin of her stomach and chest, and the other inching down. He tried to force his tongue into her mouth, but she kept her jaw clenched shut. Discouraged, Xander instead began to finger her, but she thrashed powerfully, almost causing the guards to lose their hold of her. The officer pulled back and slapped her harshly, and then punched her in the stomach. Xander slipped his finger inside her, but stopped, grunting in surprise.

"I don't believe it… You're more innocent than the rumors let on." He noticed her trembling ever-so slightly as she stared at the wall. "Are you frightened?" She was silent, and he grinned. "Scream for me."

"I'd never give you the satisfaction," she spat, pushing aside the rising panic.

He laughed as he positioned himself under her. "Still, I'll be known as the first man to break the fearless General C—"

"If I ever get my hands on you, I'll carve out your throat," she hissed.

Xander merely laughed again and pushed himself into her. She winced at the sharp pain and tears filled her eyes, but she clenched them shut so they wouldn't see her grief. The violation lasted only minutes, but she felt it an eternity.

When he was finished, Xander fingered the silver braided band pierced into her upper ear, a symbol of her former status.

"I don't think you'll be needing this anymore," he said as he viciously ripped it out of her ear, tearing through the cartilage.

She grimaced in severe pain, but no sound escaped her lips. Blood gushed from the split flesh, running down her ear, jaw line, and neck.

"Not a sound," he mused. "Good. I love a challenge."

The beating that followed was a savage one. The chains that bound her hands to the wall left her no means to shield herself against the hailstorm of the officer's aggression. She was beaten until she couldn't stand and slumped in her chains. But even then, Xander didn't stop, disgruntled by her lack of sound. For two straight hours she suffered his wrath until finally he grew frustrated with her silence. He picked up the only piece of furniture in the cell, a chair, and swung it with all his might into her chest. Wood splintered and ribs cracked, the woman cried out and Xander laughed.

The other four seditious officers who betrayed her eventually took their turns ravishing her. Despite the pain in her chest, by the third molestation, she had grown completely numb, suspending her senses, detaching herself from the pain and humiliation. She was aware of what was being done to her, but she no longer felt it. She hung limp from her chains, on the edge of unconsciousness, her expression vacant as she stared off into space.

Pain is a distraction.

For nearly three days she was raped, beaten, and mocked, too weak to resist, too tired to care. But through it all, not once more did she cry out. Not a single plea formed on her tongue. Not a single noise escaped her bleeding lips again.

I shall feel nothing.

She would be dishonored in front of those who once respected and admired her, the very men she once commanded. She would die, but she would die a silent death to preserve the last shred of her dignity. She would go quietly, not with a whimper.

You think you know, Child…who you are…what's to come… But you haven't even begun.