Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight…Stephanie Meyer does…
Take One: TWILIGHT
'In The Meadow'
Edward: And so the lion fell in love with the lamb…
Bella: So, wait, which one am I? The lamb or the lion?
Edward: *face palm* The lamb, love.
Bella: Wait, but why?
Edward: Because I am stronger and scarier than you are.
Bella: No you're not.
Edward: ?
Jacob: *from offset* She is pretty scary!
Paul: *nods* True, true… *rubs face where Bella slapped him when filming NEW MOON*
Bella: So why the hell am I the freakin' lamb?
Edward: Well-
SM: CUT!
(A/N Did anyone besides me think that Bella would've been the better lion…?)
Take One: NEW MOON
(A/N Cannot take full credit for this one, I got the idea of Youtube…search New Moon Spoof…)
'Jacob Turns into Wolf'
Laurent: I can't help, you're so mouthwatering…
-Jaws-like music plays-
Jacob: BELLA!
-Runs from house-
Bella: Jake! Run!
-Jacob gives a growl and jumps-
Bella: *gasps* Oh NOEZ! It's one of those MIXED dogs!
-Jacob stunt-double Labradoodle is sitting in front of Bella*
JSDL: *growls*
Bella: *backs away*
Laurent: *picks up JSDL* Can I keep him?
Bella: O.o
SM: CUT! And someone get the dog keeper!
(A/N: I actually am a big fan of Labradoodles)
Take One: NEW MOON
'Bella Hallucinates Edward'
Bella: *on motorcycle*
Edward Hallucination: *In Darth Vadar voice* Bellllla! Bellllla!
Bella: *turns and looks at Edward hallucination*
-Background stops flowing behind Bella and forest (green screen) becomes green screen again-
SM: CUT THE FAN!
-Bella stops looking like she's moving and hops off fake motorcycle(that strangely resembles quarter machines in the middle of malls)—which hasn't really been moving all the time—and walks over towards Edward whom is off screen-
Edward: *doesn't notice Bella* Bellllla! *breathes deep* Bellla!
Bella: *slaps Edward* WHAT?
Edward: *into microphone he is holding* I am your fatherrrrr…
Bella: *face palm*
SM: CUT!
TAKE ONE: NEW MOON
'Bella Slaps Paul'
Bella: *slaps Paul*
Paul: *turns red*
Bella: *steps back*
Paul: *bites lip*
Bella: ?
Paul: *grabs cheek* Oowwwww! Bella!
Bella: What?
Paul: That hurt!
Bella: …?
Paul: You are supposed to pretend to slap me…
Bella: …
Paul: …
Bella: oh.
(A/N: Silly Bella, We all know you pretend to slap Paul)
______
Does SM have them film both NEW MOON and TWILIGHT at the same time? Why yes she does, that is why Paul recalls getting slapped, even though he wasn't supposed to get slapped…Poor Paul…