Sasuke didn't like admitting it, but part of him always envied Naruto.

Whenever he looked at him—his tousled hair and boyish features—it embodied such innocence. Innocence that he himself did not possess anymore. And it's not that Sasuke wanted to revert back to being an innocent little fool either, but the thing about innocence is you never really give it up willingly. Most of the time, it's taken from you.

Sasuke watched Naruto's blonde head bounce across the patch of sunlight ahead—the flash was the glint of childhood that warmed his eyes, but failed to infiltrate the rest of his cold-skinned body.

"Want to go get some ramen?" Naruto's face suddenly appeared in front of his face with the harmless question. He stared into his wide eyes. No stray thoughts, no scrutinizing the underneath. When Naruto asks for ramen, he's thinking about ramen, nothing else. Such freedom.

"Yoo-hoo, what's with that look on your face?" A hand waved frantically before him, and Sasuke was met again with Naruto's ever present face. As if his voice wasn't loud enough, his face was just as loud. His emotions lay on the surface as plainly and bluntly as the words that came out of his mouth. And his eyes truly were the window to his soul. Sasuke wondered how he could leave his soul so wide open; how he could possibly survive like that. Surely, one would get hurt if their soul was left unguarded. But Naruto nevertheless, seemed unfazed.

"Yo, Sasuke, answer me already!" Impatience. So easy to read, as usual.

"Ramen again? We have it all the time," Sasuke replied dully, as if stating the obvious would ever change his opinion.

Ten minutes later, Sasuke and Naruto were sitting at a table eating ramen.

Sasuke continued to study Naruto, eyes gazing softly at the boy sitting in front of him. Something about the blonde just draws you in. He was like the sunlight, and Sasuke knew he would always be drawn to this boy's warmth, for he had painfully been in the cold for so long that staying close just felt like a necessity.

But the ironic and purely frustrating part about it all was that being close with Naruto can be unbelievably and excruciatingly difficult. They were so different; polar opposites, really. Naruto's voice is so loud, at times so loud that it pained Sasuke's rather sensitive ears. His words were so often used incorrectly— another pestering annoyance to the Uchiha's strong preference for correct grammar. His sentences also provoked little next to no thought. In fact, they are so stupid and pointless that Sasuke felt his intelligence decreasing the longer he willed himself to listen to any of that rambling nonsense.

"…so, Kiba and I RAN back, hid behind Ino's house and Shikamaru came by and was like 'Wha?' and Kiba and I couldn't contain our laughter, we were like tryin to hold it in but, agh, it blew our cover, but HAHA, you shoulda seen Shikamaru's face, he was soo mad, like omg."

'There goes some more of my intelligence,´ muttered Sasuke darkly.

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

Naruto shrugged it off and continued his blabbing, unaware that his audience had already stopped listening.

Sasuke continued daydreaming. He breathed in. The stench of ramen. That was undeniably Naruto. He breathed in more deeply, contemplating, trying to decide if he liked it or not. His dark eyes bore into the boy in front of him once more, but this time he wasn't seeing him. He was seeing flashes of the memories he had of Naruto. Random scenes played before his eyes like film.

Except this kind of film was more than just images but also of emotion.

It was warm, thinking about Naruto, fuzzy, and warm, and confusing, but still warm. Sasuke's eyes dulled some more. Something about this was bothering him very much.

"Naruto. Do you think about me?" he sputtered suddenly.

The incessant chatter stopped abruptly, and for a while Naruto actually seemed lost for words.

"Um… uh… what do you mean?" Blue eyes waited, sort of wanting Sasuke to elaborate on that question. But no further explanation followed. "I mean… I think about you, sure, I mean. You're Sasuke. You're always around. I see you like almost everyday."

A pause.

"Why, do you think about me?"

This time Sasuke felt uncomfortable under the pressure of the same question. But he shrugged it off. This stuff isn't important.

"Of course. Even if I tried, and trust me, I've tried, you're voice always finds a way to irritate me."

And the tense moment was lifted, for Naruto immediately fell for Sasuke's forged words, the true meaning of the question forgotten. A wide grin spread across his whiskered face the moment he recognized an opening back into the comfortable realm of "unseriousness."

"Hmph! So does that mean you actually listen to my stories?"

"Ha."

Sasuke decided to leave it at that. He rose from his chair, walking out into the sunlight with his hands deep in his pockets, leaving Naruto behind.

It was one of those days again. Those days where his patience was worn down to the thinnest of thin. There was only a certain amount of childishness he could take before he would seriously just snap.

Sasuke was really on the verge of hitting Naruto.

Luckily, he removed himself from the scene before he actually made any physical contact. But UGH! Could he be any more infuriating?

Sasuke didn't like being played around like this. Having his emotions on the line like this. He felt utterly vulnerable. And he hated feeling vulnerable.

"I have to get rid of this feeling. I can't let him make me feel this way. I can't take it, I can't take it!"

He reached over his head and grabbed a fistful of his own hair, in which he twisted into a knotted tangle. He kicked the wall. Groaned. Thrashed the wall some more. But he could not shake off the frustration.

It was useless. All useless.

His efforts to go back to not caring was impossible. He had already gotten to the point where he cared too much. He had already allowed his heart to wander out too far, for too long; now he realized he could not take it back.

"Give it back to me…"

But it was useless. Part of his heart was no longer his to claim.

"That ass. He completely ruined my life."

Muttering to himself about a certain someone was now common practice.

Out of the corner of his eye, he caught Sakura looking at him. She was suspicious no doubt. But he didn't care. His eyes bore into the image of that boyish face with that stupid, course, disheveled hair mopped on top. Even when he wasn't present, he saw him. The picture of his face was ingrained into his mind….It was always there, to his utter disgust.

To the onlooker, Sasuke could have passed off as slightly insane. Anger would flash across his face at the most random moments. He seemed to be in a constant state of irritation, almost pain. Thoughts seemed to pass through his head, thoughts to which no one could imaginably discern. At times he would clench his teeth tight and release a low, menacing growl. Such a feral energy would emanate off him that no one dared ask him what was wrong, much less go near him at all. Anyone who noticed could tell that the last thing he was was at peace.

Of course Sasuke wasn't characterized as one to be in good spirits on a daily basis either, but even this was a little much. Almost everyone around him noticed the unmistakable unpleasantness he so darkly carried with him day after day after day. That is, almost everyone.

"Sasuke-teme, ramen ramen ramen! Let's go, come ON!"

The blonde was completely oblivious to the wretched state of his dark-haired companion. He grabbed on to Sasuke, attempting at his mightiest to drag the reluctant teammate on his way, but Sasuke's entire body had already stiffened. Trying his best to remain calm, Sasuke strained and struggled to get his arm free.

"Sasuke?"

He couldn't take it anymore. He didn't know what to say, he didn't know what to do.

He ran.

Sasuke could only see a glimpse of Naruto's bewildered look before his whiskered face became blurred with everything else as Sasuke rushed past, determined to get away.

After the haze of colors and noise had ceased, he was alone again. He knew he would be alone for good. No one came looking for him when he wanted to be alone. And he knew that the one person he secretly wanted to come would not come. He already learned this as a fact.

Sasuke allowed himself to curl up, resting his head and arms on his knees. His eyes focused on the faded color of the shade that cast above him.

The shade. It blanketed him, comforted him softly. It was safe here. He felt infinitely safe here.

Then why did something deep inside him ache to leave this safe place? To go out where he knew it was dangerous? Something was pulling him, calling to him, urging him. It was the sun, brighter than anything he ever knew. It was the warmth, the light, the heat. It was too much for him.

Under the dark shade of the trees, the sun could never fully get through to reach his waiting hands. The sun would never be his. He also learned this as a fact.

Sasuke could very clearly imagine how his day went. He would wake up, not too early, probably when the birds were chirping and the windows had already warmed long after sunrise. He would yawn, a big yawn, and his hair would look even more disheveled than usual. His eyes would be groggy with sleep, but it would look regrettably adorable. He would breathe in the air that was his life, and he would smile a content smile. He would stretch his limbs this way and that, still blinking slowly, in no hurry at all to get up and ready for the coming day. He would see his answer machine blinking, already with three messages waiting for him. He would press the blinking button, still groggy and yawning as he listened to the messages of his friends.

The first message was from Kiba, who wanted him out to play manhunt with Shikamaru and Chouji. The second from Shikamaru who called to see if he was up yet (obviously not). Turned out they told Neji who wanted in, and somehow Lee was informed, who left the third message, his excitement overwhelming, despite the fact that it was ambiguous whether he was actually invited or not.

After an exhausting but satisfying game of intense manhunt, Ino would call to get him to hang out with her and Sakura in the afternoon. The three of them would be going out for smoothies because it was smoothie day at this place she knew on the other side of town. Then Konohamaru and his crew would most likely tag along at the end of the day and he and Kiba would make complete fun of them just because they were so much younger and sillier, even though they were probably just as young and just as silly. After spending the evening fooling around, dinner would be at Chouji's, where the food was always plentiful and delicious—Chouji's mom owned the best Chinese place in Konoha after all.

It would be late at night by the time they finished, and it would be he, Shikamaru, Ino, and Sakura left. They would walk down the streets that were quiet with the glow of streetlamps and whatever remaining light filtering from nearby houses. He would fail to keep quiet because his voice was naturally loud, and besides, he was having a great time, so why ruin the fun? Ino would snap at him to cut it out, especially for his notorious laughter that was so obnoxious. Sakura would feign annoyance and agree, but laugh anyway (her pretty laugh welded charmingly right into his), and Shikamaru would shake his head but smile because he knew his friend better than anyone.

A month passed and Sasuke had gotten far in training himself to block out anything associated with Naruto. When Naruto was mentioned, he forced himself to think as minimally as possible about the subject, and most of all, indifferently. That was the way it should be anyway. Stressing too much about Naruto was unnecessary, unbalanced, inappropriate, and worst of all, made him weak. He had no time to be weak. Staying strong had always been part of his personality, part of his job, part of his existence. Naruto was nothing but nonsense. It was time to pull himself back together.

Which was why he was a little more than disturbed when Naruto asked to meet him at the park on Saturday, 5:30 in the evening.

Sasuke had agreed, casually of course. It was all casual. But inside, even under all the effort he put in to suppress his emotions, he felt apprehensive.

Arriving at the park at 5:40, he first looked around the still sunlit area. He could sense a cheerful air about it—a cheerfulness he could not admit to be feeling himself at the moment. In the distance he could see several unidentifiable figures playing basketball. Maybe one of them was Naruto. To the left was one of those generic playgrounds enclosed within a large square sandbox. The rest was grassland and trees.

He decided to sit down on the bench nearest to him and just wait.

Not two seconds later, a familiar figure jumped down from the playground, walking towards him.

"Oh," was all Sasuke could say at first, a little surprised while Naruto approached, "How long were you waiting?"

"I was here since 5:30," Naruto said.

Sasuke placed his hands in his pockets for the lack of something better to do. He didn't look directly at Naruto's face. In fact, he sort of angled his body so that he was facing the area slightly to the left.

"So, did you plan for us to do anything?" he said, careful to keep his tone as nonchalant as possible.

"Nope."

"What? Then what are we going to do?"

"Nothing."

Naruto's lips curved slightly into a smile. Sasuke wasn't sure if it was a smirk or not.

"What do you mean? Don't you ever plan anything?"

"Nope."

Sasuke started to get a little annoyed, but he forced himself to sustain his self-control for a while longer.

He couldn't help the impatient sigh that escaped his lips though.

"Are we really just going to do nothing?"

"Yup…" The blonde sat down on the bench across from him, seemingly very relaxed already. A short moment of silence passed before he spoke again. "I like it when I can just sit here with you, and not have to say anything. I really like it."

Naruto was staring directly at him, his look was almost piercing, really. Sasuke met those blue eyes briefly before looking away.

More silence passed.

"I know what you mean." he admitted.

And then more silence.

The sun was starting to set. Some annoying kids came by and made a ruckus, but they left a few minutes later. The people who were playing basketball went home. And now some birds were picking some berries in the bushes.

Sasuke could feel Naruto's eyes on him from time to time, and sometimes he would return the gesture. The whole event could've seemed a bit weird, but surprisingly, it was not uncomfortable, and Sasuke would even admit it to be quite pleasant.

"Are you bored?" Naruto questioned lightly.

"No."

Sasuke now turned to look directly at the boy in front of him, trying to read his body language.

"Are you?" he paralleled.

"No."

Sasuke couldn't help but feel a bit of amusement. Their "time together" could barely pass off as anything. He wondered how long they would continue this "nothingness."

Nevertheless it was an experience.

A little later they decided to walk around as it was getting darker, and luckily, the conversation started to flow more.

"You know, when I'm with my friends, I act real crazy. You know when I'm like that right? And they always expect me to say something. Otherwise it's awkward, you know? Like I couldn't invite Kiba out to just do nothing. It would just be really weird. But when I'm with you, we wouldn't be talking a lot and we wouldn't be doing anything, but I would still have fun."

"I see," Sasuke said. Oddly enough, he did know what he was talking about.

"I act so crazy around my friends, but I have times when I just think about things too. And when I'm with you, I can be calm."

"You need time to think?"

"Hey, what do you mean by that?"

"Nothing," Sasuke smiled. So Naruto needed time to be calm? Surprising.

"Well anyways, I'm glad I'm good for something," Sasuke said sarcastically.

"Haha, yeah, that's all you're good for," Naruto laughed before adding, "Ha, I'm kidding."

Sasuke laughed along with him. Their light-hearted chatter was all that could be heard that quiet, peaceful night.

It made that day seem so much more tragic, for the moments they shared were replaying in Sasuke's mind all week, and all week Naruto was ignoring him. He wasn't really ignoring him on purpose… He just never went out of his way to be with him, or make any indication that that innocent evening they spent together meant any more than what it was. But Sasuke couldn't help but see it as something more…

It pained him that Naruto could carry on as if it never happened.

He ached for attention. Attention from him. He ached for it so much, and knowing that Naruto could never fulfill his needs made him feel so hollow.

Emptier and emptier his insides felt.

He waited. Waited and waited for the moment Naruto would acknowledge him for more than just another person. For more than just another person in his vivid life who could easily be replaced. But it was more likely that he would be replaced by someone who would probably be a lot more fun than him.

And Naruto's recognition never came.

He felt angry. Angry at him. At himself, at anyone.

But it didn't change how he really felt.

Broken and worthless.

Who ever knew the sun could be this cold.