A/N: OOPS THE TGS TRAILER FUCKED ME UP AND I'M SAD(DER) NOW
so ofc i had to write an angst one shot. like. cmon, who even am i if i don't do this tbh
a few things:
1) most of this LOOSELY follows all pre kh3 canon bc i couldn't be assed to rewatch all of ienzo/zexion's scenes to be 100% sure i got timelines right or whatever just for a short angst fic. just. couldn't be bothered, I'm sad enough thanks. so a few things may be wrong bc I'm working off the top of my head and a lot of sad ideas due to demyxnort. (although really i dont think the SoD squad are all actually norted, just that their eyes turned gold due to corruption lol, bc marly and larx and vexen all look the exact same, just with golden eyes, not like just more nort clones? idk square explain)
2) I REALLY WANT MY BOY TURNED BACK TO THE LIGHT pls dont make me kill him again square, GOD I DONT WANNA I DONT WANT THIS WHY THE FUCK
3) i love zemyx fuckin FIGHT ME
4) some swearing bc i cant help BUT headcanon the entire organization as foul mouthed little fuckers
5) obvs own nothing except my own sad ass thoughts, all characters and worlds belong to square enix and/or disney and i dont profit off them kbai
"We just saw Luxord back in Port Royal...same as the others...but no sign of...him. I'm sorry."
The hero of light's voice is deeper, sadder than normal, and it stings to know it's for his benefit.
"I know you sorta hoped this was his home world, and we looked everywhere and asked everyone we could..."
It's the same as always. Each time Sora has been to a world, he does this one favor, because Sora is too good, too kind to NOT think of others at all times, even when there's so much at stake for him too, when there is so much happening all the time.
It's considerate as hell, and he truly appreciates it.
But perhaps it's at last time to give up.
Ienzo lets the call drop, the brunette boy's face fading, staring blankly at the dark phone screen.
The Superio- No, Xemnas, had been a given. There was nowhere else for that heart to return. Xehanort had seen to that.
Larxene, Luxord, Marluxia, Isa and Braig, however...
And Even must be among them as well, it only made sense when he hadn't reappeared with their ragtag gang in the castle of Radiant Garden. Ienzo supposed, now that he knew he had the capacity to feel, that a part of him was quite sad to lose Eve- no, he must still be Vexen now...his former mentor, someone he'd once trusted...
Shows where trusting someone in childhood got you.
Ansem, Vexen, any adult around him had died or been an overall failure to him. In some cases, both.
These people he'd once known, now dead or someone else's pawn.
All of these people, being chosen as vessels for someone else's master plan...No choice in who or what they were anymore.
Most of them, he could understand. He almost felt sad about or perhaps for them, but a lot of it made sense and he could also see that. He'd tried to explain that to Lea, before the redhead had seen Isa for himself and come back with haunted green eyes, an undeniable drop in his demeanor at the inability to recover his childhood friend.
Ienzo wondered if he'd have felt similarly losing Aeleus to the Dark Seekers, and decided he didn't want to know the answer. Aeleus was the closest thing to a best friend he had.
But one question had plagued Ienzo, kept him up at night even after he'd retired from the lab, even once he'd wound down for a day (or a week...who needed sleep when there was so much to discover?) and he couldn't let it go...
where was Demyx?
They'd checked Traverse Town first, naturally, once the world had been awoken once more. Plenty of lost souls who'd reappeared from nowhere had ended up there, but none of them had seen Demyx. Ienzo had anagrammed the other's name as many times as possible on the chance Demyx would look, act, be different, just so they had names to go off of if all else failed.
No luck. No one had seen the Nocturne.
They weren't from the same world, true, but he'd never allowed himself to imagine that something so silly as worlds between them would have the ability to keep Demyx from seeking him out. Hell, he'd practically expected Demyx to find him the day after they'd awoken, screeching indecipherable words and jumping up and down with glee now that he knew Ienzo couldn't tell him he was being foolish.
He wasn't disappointed it hadn't happened. No one could prove that, even if Aeleus snuck pointed looks at him frequently when they were working late, when Ienzo would sigh sadly as his guard went down.
His heart simply ached, and he knew that others outside of his small circle were beginning to catch on to it.
Sora had kept updating him, "no word yet! He's gotta be from one of these worlds, though, we'll find him!"
Eternal optimism was quite cute, but it didn't seem to do any good.
"Perhaps...I have to accept this truth." he whispered to himself. "Perhaps he didn't come back."
Ienzo sighed, dropping the phone to the desk, reaching up with two fingers to pinch the bridge of his nose.
Tension headaches were not his friend, and he almost missed being a Nobody just due to the fact they couldn't plague him when he couldn't feel.
And of course, now alone, he could admit, but still not aloud: he missed Demyx, but that was nothing new.
"Miss" may not even be strong enough to convey how he felt, truly.
Ienzo longed to see Demyx, to stretch up and run his fingers through dirty blonde hair, to stare into cerulean eyes. To hear the blonde's neverending talking, his music, his laughter. Once he'd taken these things for granted. Once, another life ago, Zexion had grown tired of constant pretending.
That Zexion had been a fool. He'd learned that sooner rather than later, only to lose the shred of existence he'd found some form of happiness in too soon.
Often, he wondered how Demyx had handled the loss of him. Had he cried? Had he mourned, as much as a being who couldn't feel possibly could?
Had Demyx longed to see him again, when he'd perished?
Ienzo wasn't sure if, in this rebirth, Demyx would still feel the phantom things he'd felt for him before, but he desperately hoped so. Now alive again, he wanted to kiss the blonde, to hug him close, to spend as much time as possible just in his presence. To allow himself to laugh "Look at us, alive again and together!", to believe that he'd be okay because Demyx was there. Demyx could make anyone feel that way. Ienzo remembered the contentment he'd found in Demyx's presence, and that yearning was stronger now.
His body, heart, soul were all whole again but something still felt like it was missing, like a phantom limb he isn't used to being without.
How pathetic of him.
Unsure of how long he stands there with his head cradled in his hands, Ienzo felt rather than heard a dark portal open behind him, the hairs on the back of his neck raising, and he tensed.
It could be Lea, he still traveled through corridors sometimes in the ridiculous coats, because it was "so much faster than a gummi ship, bud, you should try it again!"
Ienzo had scoffed, at the time. He was above such foolish activities. The darkness was still rather intriguing to study, but he'd had far enough hands on experience for a lifetime. No thank you, go be stupid somewhere else, good day.
No chipper greeting calling out proved it must not be Lea, and Ienzo whipped around, ready to fight to the best of his ability, sorely missing his Lexicon at most times, especially now. Feeling powerful had been so nice, and if enemies were nearby, it'd have been more useful to him than anything else...
Except there was no reason to fight.
A sharp gasp left his lips.
It wasn't the redheaded Lea, an always smug smirk on his lips, green eyes narrowed in some joke.
The wisps of the portal fading away behind the man who'd appeared was like white noise in his ears.
Was this real?
It was undeniably...Demyx.
The weird faux hawk/mullet was as dirty blonde as ever, still perfectly unkempt. He was still the taller of the two, his body long and lean.
Ienzo stared at his face in shock. The blonde had his eyes closed, a strange expression on his angular face, and a giant white sheet wrapped around and hiding something thrown over his shoulder...
and he was clad in the same black coat from their days in the Organization.
Ienzo's brain screamed that something was wrong, and as an academic, he'd grown used to only acting with his brain.
But his heart was thudding in his chest, in his throat, and he was choking, and he gasped out past dry lips, "D-demyx?", hating himself for the stutter, but longing to hear the other speak and prove he wasn't dreaming.
He waited with bated breath for what felt like hours, but really was just a few seconds of agonizing silence...
and Demyx finally opened his eyes.
Ienzo felt his heart skip a beat, an irregularity to its insistent hammering.
The cerulean color he loved so much was gone.
Demyx's eyes were gold.
This was so fundamentally wrong.
They'd gotten to Demyx, they'd corrupted one of the few good ones, they'd taken him away.
No no no no no.
The blonde cocked his head at him, a ghost of a smile on his lips as he adjusted his grip on the unknown thing he held over one shoulder.
"Disappointed, Zexy?"
His voice was still the same, but it did nothing to soothe the scientist's nerves.
Ienzo was frozen, eyes blown wide. Any hope of a rebuttal had died on his tongue.
Demyx's newly golden eyes were taking him in, lazily, the way the old Demyx had done most things. Ienzo wanted to reach out and touch him. To scream, to cry, perhaps? Even he was unsure how to handle this.
This was the last thing he'd expected.
How do you greet your (ex?)boyfriend-back-from-nonexistence-turned-evil?
Ienzo prided himself on many things: predicting outcomes being one of them.
This had him completely stunned. Demyx being turned came out of left field, and he hadn't prepared for this possibility in the slightest.
"Cat got your tongue, Zex?" The blonde drawled, smirking.
Ienzo shook his head slowly, slate hair falling further into his eyes with the motion.
"I-"
He hated this weakness. He hated that he was shocked into silence. He hated feeling inferior, of not seeing this coming.
Demyx's brows shot up his head, but he still looked amused, in an angry sort of way, and dammit anger did not suit him.
"Demyx, how- where-"
"Well someone actually came to find me. Funny how that works." Demyx bit back, dropping the mass he held finally. The thud as it hit the ground was not reassuring.
Ienzo frowned, his eyes flicking from the mass on the floor to Demyx. His heart still pounded in his chest traitorously, but he managed to finally articulate a full sentence.
"I didn't have any clue where to begin. I rather thought you'd find me, to be frank."
Golden eyes narrowed. Apparently that had been the wrong response.
"Well, since you've been so busy here, guess its good they sent me with this for you..." He chuckled, but there was no humor in it, and Ienzo's chest filled with dread as Demyx stepped over to the white sheet and kicked it open.
Ienzo's heart dropped into his stomach.
Unconscious and bloody, Ansem the Wise was revealed. Ienzo couldn't even find words to express his shock at the older man's appearance, but he felt the shock give way to anger now.
Cobalt eyes shot back up to Demyx, accusing. The blonde looked...torn.
"How could you do this?!" Ienzo gasped, kneeling down, his eyes on Demyx waiting for him to strike.
Demyx laughed that humorless laugh again.
"I didn't do anything. I'm just the messenger, Zexy. They thought a touching father-so reunion might be proof you're on the wrong side. Kinda hurts to see you care more about him than me, but whataya do."
Ienzo glared, choosing to ignore the jab, but wincing internally at the thought. "I'm not the one who chose the wrong side."
Demyx stared him down, and gods, those dark-infected eyes were so wrong in his face. "I didn't choose anything except to live, since I was left alone and with no choice."
"You could have refused. You could have sought us out." You could have found me, Ienzo thinks, his eyes hot and heavy, but he will not cry. Ansem the Wise is breathing, his pulse weak but undeniably there in his wrist, and Ienzo has so many questions but now isn't the time. A sigh, whether relieved or sad, leaves his mouth as he gets back to his feet.
Demyx is silent. It's a tense silence and Ienzo regards him warily. A quiet Demyx is new terrain, and he's clueless on how to proceed. The air is thick with tension, and Ienzo doesn't know what to do, and he hates this helplessness.
Demyx breaks the silence, sparing him the need.
"Yknow, tell me: Why was it my job to figure out how to come to you before they found me?" He hisses, and Ienzo was practically convinced he could feel his heart breaking with Demyx's voice cracking.
"Demyx, I didn't know. You must understand-"
"YOU SHOULD HAVE COME FOR ME!" Demyx screamed, pupils blown wide, an uncharacteristic snarl on his face, his entire body tense like a livewire as he began to pace back and forth in front of where he'd called the portal and Ansem, bubbles appearing and disappearing with his angry motions. Cobalt eyes follow these movements, the water droplets as bubbles pop and break with their master's angry movement.
Shocked, Ienzo whispers, "I'm so sorry."
Demyx froze, stopped his pacing immediately. His dumbfounded gaze landed on Ienzo.
"Zexion..."
"It's Ienzo." he replied instantly, a kneejerk response to having to remind everybody that that isn't his name, that they chose it for him.
The corner of the blonde's mouth quirked up at that, face almost soft. Ienzo can almost recognize him like this, if not for the eyes.
"Right. Old habits, yknow."
Reaching out a hand, wanting to feel Demyx and convince himself this isn't some fucked up dream, Ienzo whispers, "I don't mind."
Demyx laughs. It's almost his old tone again.
"Doesn't matter. I have to go anyway..." he sounds angry, or sad, Ienzo cant tell which.
"Don't. Pl- please don't go. You're here now. We can help you."
Demyx sighs, turning his back to him, hand up to call a portal to take him away from him again. His hair shifts as he drops his head sadly, shoulders tense.
"I don't think ya can, actually, but I wish..." He trails off, and Ienzo wonders how his heart could break any more than this.
He almost preferred not having one.
"I wish you'd found me first."
Time doesn't stop, but Ienzo loses his breath as though it had, as though he can't physically move despite how wrong this is, how much he yearns to do something, anything.
Tears are falling from Ienzo's eyes now, unbidden, and he can't stop his voice from breaking as he swears, cries, begs, against all reason and odds, against all his best efforts:
"I love you."
Demyx turns immediately, bottom lip shaking, eyes watery.
"Zex..."
"Please...You don't have to respond. Just don't go. I, hell, I cannot lose you again. Every...every world I've had Sora looking for you. It should've been me searching, I'm so - I'm so sorry, gods. I love you. I've missed you so damn much, Demyx. I've wondered if you were happier on your home world, if you missed me too... And I hoped we'd find you. Every single day."
Demyx is shaking, and Ienzo is distantly aware of the fact it's raining indoors, proof Demyx still has his power, perhaps only given to him again by Xehanort, but that and the look on the blonde man's face tells him his Demyx isn't gone.
He's seen Demyx cry before of course, but this time feels new...perhaps because he's aware of the pain there, of how he'd like to put an end to it.
Unlike the first time he'd seen his lover cry, this time Ienzo feels it deep in his soul, and he wants to fix it.
"Are those tears, No. IX? Or some strange side effect of your power?"
He knew the answer of course, but wanted to hear it out loud. Intriguing, how he'd found himself so fascinated by the Nocturne's insistence on "feeling".
The blonde Nobody shook from his spot on the couch, his body wracked by sobs. The room was empty, half the members out on assignments or in their rooms. The slate haired Nobody had only recently returned from such himself, and once more found himself drawn towards the Nocturne, hence how he'd stumbled upon this scene.
Zexion eyed him like some kind of strange specimen, something new to study, and followed up with,
"Are you falsifying feeling again?"
Demyx sat up straight, glaring at him, and Zexion was struck by those beautiful eyes, watery with tears, like an ocean during a storm and just as angry.
How...odd these thoughts were.
"If you came here to laugh at me, you can just leave."
"I can't feel amusement, so why would I laugh?"
Demyx sighed. "Just...go away."
Zexion frowned. "I...don't want to, thanks." Now why had he said that? It hadn't been the words he'd planned to use. Was his brain being affected by whatever plagued Demyx?
Demyx eyed him warily, still sniffling.
"Help me. Please." the blonde whispered.
"How?" Zexion asked instantly, not even considering ignoring such a request. He couldn't.
"I want...I want to... I... I'm lonely. Please...can I...will you...h-hold me?"
The scientist flinched away as though he'd been burned, despite the fact that it was illogical to do so. Demyx hadn't even reached for him, and wouldn't harm he if he had.
Demyx noticed, and his eyes became even more watery, his body shaking still, and the room was getting damp, the air heavy with condensation as though it was going to begin storming indoors.
"Fascinating..." Zexion murmured, all trepidation forgotten in the wake of this interesting development. He hadn't known Demyx's power could be linked to his mental state.
He'd thought it seemed humid in here, but hadn't bothered to assume that it could be due to anyone's powers.
"I'm curious though, why would you request to be held of all things?" he questioned, a glove clad finger to his chin as he thought.
The blonde scoffed. "A-as if you care."
Well, Zexion mused, he couldn't literally care. But perhaps he could attempt to.
The Schemer didn't know why he was bothering, but there was something undeniably melancholy about the situation, and he found he didn't want to see Demyx cry. If he could feel, he'd even say he hated it.
"Come here." It was more of a demand than a request.
Watery eyes shot up, regarding him warily.
Zexion sighed, opening his arms. "I won't ask again."
"You didn't ask the first time." Demyx retorted, but there was a hint of a smile on his face as he got up from his curled up position on the couch and hurried into the smaller man's arms.
Zexion was rather grateful he didn't blush, because Ienzo certainly would have. Demyx was taller than him, and while he was lean, he still had a muscular stature that hinted at comforting as he wrapped his arms around Zexion desperately, his chin hooked over the smaller's shoulder, heaving a sigh of relief, still shaking slightly from his crying jag. The heavy humid air began to clear, and Zexion noticed water on the windows from indoors, trickling down the glass as it began to clear.
"I just...wanted to feel something." the blonde mumbled, his breath against Zexion's neck.
No. VI didn't know how to respond to that, so he just hugged Demyx tighter, wondering what he'd just gotten himself into.
Something had changed between them then, he could practically feel the shift in the air around them.
This was going to be interesting.
Demyx was staring at him, long lashes fluttering and Ienzo crossed the room to him, arms open.
The blonde practically flung himself at him, crying in earnest now, and Ienzo finally felt at home as he held the man he loved.
"I...knew I couldn't do it. I wondered, if i was angry, if i c-could" the blonde was hiccuping, face buried in Ienzo's neck.
Ienzo's brow furrowed, and he whispered, "They sent you here to persuade me or kill me, I assume?"
Demyx nodded, sniffling.
Ienzo laughed. It wasn't actually funny, not really, but it was too absurd.
"They sent the wrong guy for that one." He chuckled, and Demyx was laughing too now as tears still dropped off his lashes, pulling himself back, looking down at Ienzo warmly.
"Ya think they'd know that by now. I'm not much of a fighter."
Ienzo was definitely blushing, he could feel it, and some part of him was screaming that this was not the time, while his psuedo father lay on the floor, while Demyx was golden eyed and by technicality, the enemy.
But would there be another time if he didn't act now?
"Don't go back. We'll - I'll help you. Stay with me."He murmured.
Demyx bit his lip. "They'll probably come to kill me."
Ienzo snorted. "Then they'll have to fucking go through me, and like hell I'd let them touch you."
Demyx smiled, but he looked uneasy. "Y-you still want me like this? I may never...look the same again." The insecurity was clear in his tone, in the way his eyes dropped briefly, ashamed.
Ienzo glared at him. "I don't care."
The blonde grinned outright then, and Ienzo's heart soared, because that was him. That was Demyx, change in eye color or no, it was undeniably him through and through.
"I love you, you know." The blonde said, joy evident in his voice.
"I know." was the response.
Ienzo grinned back and tiptoed, and of course, because Demyx knew him, he met him halfway in a bruising kiss.
It didn't matter who came for them. It didn't matter what Demyx had done, or what Ienzo had failed to do.
They were together, and win or lose in this fight, Ienzo wouldn't let anyone take Demyx from him again.
okay i lied it was only mostly angst but with a happy ending bc i already know they're gonna hurt me so much with 3 and i WAS gonna end this differently but MY brain is screaming "NO LET THEM BE HAPPY"
i mean, guess i should be glad zemyx is alive and well in 2018 at all but seeing them in the same room with bad!demyx is gonna heck me up
if you pause the new trailer you DEF SEE ANSEM THE WISE AND I HAVE QUESTIONS but didnt wanna bother attempting anything here for this lil oneshot.
ugh, cant wait to be ruined in january.