First Word.
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"What did you mean earlier, Sammy?" Dean asked as he slipped the plate of food under his brother's nose, one of the many actions which had become automatic, for he had tended to his younger brother's needs since he was a child himself.
Sam pulled his eyes reluctantly away from the text he was reading and tilted his head up at Dean, brow furrowed as was his habit when he was trying to concentrate on two things at once.
"Um!...About...?"
Dean pulled out the chair next to him and sat down.
x
"Earlier, you said that you didn't look on this place as home, just what did you mean by that, man? This is the first time we actually have something to call our own, yet you don't seem in the least supportive."
Sam averted his eyes, picked up the fork and started to move the rice around his plate.
"Just... I explained already, Dean. I've no memories of a stable home with my own room, family dinners and barbecues in the garden... I don't have a definition of 'home' at least not in the way most people would consider it; and any time I've tried to make one, it's blown up in my face.
"I get it Sam; believe me, I do," Dean answered gently. "Our lives have been so messed up that we don't know what's up nor down any more. But we gotta start somewhere; take baby steps. This is our place now. It's warm, safe and has everything anyone could ask for.; not to mention the water pressure! Why not begin to look on it as home? Or do you really prefer being crushed up in the Impala and sleeping in skeevy motel rooms?"
x
Sam offered a wan half-smile at his brother's words. "They weren't all skeevy. dude. Some were clean and comfortable," he answered, and Dean could hardly come to terms with the note of nostalgia he picked up in Sam's voice.
"I can't even believe I'm hearing this Sam! How can you prefer life on the road to all this."
He waved an all-encompassing hand around the library.
" Every time I look over at you, you've got your face stuck in a book. How can you not be happy living here?"
x
Sam shrugged. "I love the wealth of knowledge and research that the bunker offers, but for me that makes it even more of a work-place. I've been in hundreds of libraries but I've never considered them home."
Dean shook his head, incredulous.
"You know, man, I've fed you bottles of formula, changed your diapers and was witness to your first word, but I swear sometimes I don't understand what goes through that freaky brain of yours!" he sighed, bumping his shoulder against his sibling's.
"Eat your curry before it gets cold. My awesome cooking has to be enjoyed while it's hot," Dean grunted lifting a forkful to his lips.
x
"What was it?" Sam asked curious, after a moment of silence.
"What was what, Sammy?" Dean replied, chewing blissfully on a mouthful of hot curry.
"My first word? You said you were witness to it."
"I can't remember. I was only a kid myself."
"You're lying then? You didn't hear it!" Sam accused.
"Yes I did!"
"You can't have it both ways, Dean. Either you heard it or you didn't." Sam said in an exasperated tone.
x
Dean's cheeks took on a pinkish tinge, while it was Sam's turn to watch incredulous. "Are you blushing, dude," Sam teased.
"Dean Winchester does not blush, Sam! Not ever!" Dean emphasised, raising a warning finger in the air.
"Okay then. It must be the hot curry that's making your cheeks so red," Sam replied amused.
Dean huffed.
"You're a little bitch sometimes, Sam. You know that don't you? Yeah, I remember your first word and if you must know, it was 'Deeen'," he drew our the syllable in a childish way, before continuing. "And dude, once you started saying it you never stopped. It was Dean, Dean, Dean, from morning to night! I thanked god when you started to learn some new words, at least my ears got to hear some variety. So now you know."
x
Sam felt the tears filling his eyes.
"Somehow I'm not surprised, Dean. Your face looking down at me is the first memory I have. All my life you've been there for me, whenever I was scared or upset. Hell, you were the one who explained the facts of life. Remember how we were both embarrassed when you shuffled around trying to bring me up to scratch about sex and girls... "
He looked his older brother in the eye.
"There's no rule that says 'home' has to be a physical place, Dean; sometimes a person can be 'home' too and for me the second option works best."
Dean saw the watery glaze in Sam's eyes and felt his own filling with emotion.
Sometimes his gigantic little brother was such a girl, but Dean understood perfectly what Sam was telling him and his heart filled with joy as he realised who and where Sam's true home really was.
X
"Come on, Sammy. You don't want my awesome curry to get cold while you babble on like a Disney princess, or the next time you can do the cooking!"
Dean had embarrassed himself enough for one day, but it was only a drop in the ocean for all that he was willing to do for his baby brother!
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