PROLOGUE

What Am I?

I am Alice.

Of this much I am sure.

I am Alice.

I tell myself again, as the onslaught of sounds and sight attack me from all sides. I know not how I got to this place carpeted with long wide leafy green grass and surrounded by tall dark trees. I can see their eyes, the creatures that cower in the shrubbery below their woody giants, they fear me and they can smell my danger. They are correct in their belief, I know that I am thirsty; I crave something that I can smell emanating from their pores, and I can hear their little hearts speed. They fight the instinct of survival.

Fight or flight…fight or flight.

I hear a river in the distance, the sound of it consumes me as the offensive continues, and I know I can see all the shadows before me, even the shadows beyond the color spectrum I know I must have once known. I know not who I was, or who I have become, but I know that I am Alice.

I rise as if to fly to my feet. The motion is weightless, as if I had merely thought the action and my body obeyed in quiet accord. My body knows what I want, and it is a slave to my nature. The night is vivid, as I peer at the moon for the first time with my newborn eyes, I can see every crater and the shades that make up the milky image. I spin around in the wet grass, a delicate pirouette, and I feel the stretch in my small limbs. I feel alive with energy and raw power, and I know that I am home.

I start toward the trees, commanding my body to follow, and it leads. Knowing exactly what I want and I sprint with the speed of a comet. I realize two miles into the wood that my throat burns; it is dry and needs something. I can smell the warm wet liquid racing through the little hearts and I smell the air. Though the sound and the initial smell of the small creatures make me hungry, the scent I catch now if absolutely repulsive, and I realize this is not what I want to drink.

I run once more through the woods, and I come across a scent so alluring and absolutely appealing that I stop in my tracks. The smell is right and I can see the shape in the distance. My senses go wild, my nature takes over, and as I crouch into a hunting position new to me and my newborn life I see him…not the man down the path, but the one that I know I cannot live without, and it is to him I turn to find…after my dinner.

CHAPTER ONE

Losing Mary

I had never given much thought to the world, at least the world outside my small room. Mom and dad said I had been put in here for my own safety, and to protect my little sister. I was dangerous and if I were allowed around other people, they could get hurt, and I would never want to hurt them, especially my sister. I looked out the small glass window, my only view to the world beyond; the unknown society that I would never know. My impassive face reflected in the dim evening sun, now setting over the quiet valley. My mouth wore no expression, a flat line, and my dark brown eyes showed no interest as the purples and the pinks faded in thin dancing lines over the dark forest mountains.

I turned from the oppressive sight, pulling my long black hair through my fingers, and sat on the dark brown wooden floor. The room I was prisoner to held nothing of significance, a small metal bed frame with a thin mattress, and a miniscule bedraggled wooden bedside table. They said I was allowed no photo, for fear that it would make my hallucinations worse, but I disagreed. Though I saw no one now, except for the occasional visit from a stranger that called himself a doctor, my visions as I liked to call them, were as strong as ever. I could see a plate drop from my mother's hands, watch it break thirty minutes before she touched it, and then I would hear the crash below followed shortly by my mom's muffled swears.

I was not allowed to speak with my sister, though I could see her plain as day, at least my visions gave me that. I concentrated on her most of the time, and lived my life through her eyes. Going to school, playing with her friends, and doing her homework; she was my personal peeping window to the outside world, and I knew she wouldn't mind my spying. We had shared so many times before; my visions would help her know which boy to chase, or which friends she could rely on. Though the many times I had given her future through my capable mind, I now knew that I should have watched mine more carefully.

I didn't see the repercussions, and I most certainly did not see my father standing in the room beyond, listening, as I gave my loving sister her instruction on which dress she should wear tomorrow. Now here I sit, in an unknown room at the top of the house, built especially for me, and no one outside the house knew I lived.

I contemplated this bleak existence, staring at my pale bony fingers, when I was roused by another vision. My body went rigid like usual, and I stared at the picture that slowly centered in my mind. At first it was dark, an earthy brown, and then quickly a staircase snapped into focus. It was very clean, lined on the right side were large and small framed photographs, on the left was a mahogany banister, and the stairs themselves were carpeted with a forest green runner. I immediately recognized this place as the staircase in my own home, though I had not seen it in almost two years, I remembered playing games on them with my sister.

"Mary." I heard the whisper as if it was miles away, and I focused more intently on my vision.

The picture led from the bottom of the staircase to the top, a hallway this time lined with more photographs and painting, my eyes turned to a large door on the right, and through it, into my little sisters room. The room was lined with large windows, I basked in the sight beyond the windows, and how I wished I could experience this first hand! Then my view turned to the left, and I stared into a very large mirror, it wasn't my pale bone face I saw, but the lush and rosy cheeked countenance of a very beautiful young woman. She had wavy blonde hair that hung to her waist and deep blue eyes that looked like pools of water. Cynthia, how she had grown in the past two years!

I could hardly control the short breaths that escaped by mouth. Is this what I would look like if I had no visions? Would I stand there with my long black hair, shiny and waving about my shoulders? My dark brown eyes shining from under beautifully brushed lashes and groomed brows? Wet stream began to flow from my unsteady eyes, and the vision began to waver. I sat in silence until I had calmed myself, and focused once more to the vision that had my heart curling in upon itself.

Cynthia looked from the long mirror and turned to the light wooden desk beside it, and reached for the top drawer, inside it lay numerous instruments for grooming, among them a large pair of cutting shears. It was for these that she reached, then she grabbed a pencil and sheet of paper, and began to write.

Mary, we leave tonight at ten, after mom and dad sleep.

I stared at the paper intently, hope flickering in my mind for the first time in two years, and this time I felt tears come down my face, this time for joy. I was going to be set free, and my sister she was coming with me! I couldn't wait, the allure of fresh air blowing through my hair, and the promise of the sun warming the hidden inches of my clammy skin. The thought of it consumed me, burning to my heart that I once thought to be dead, and at this point I knew there was a chance that I could be like her.

Beautiful. Full of life.

My ceaseless dreaming kept me entertained as the hours drained, the sun completely lost to the mountains as darkness stole the ground, and the moon conquered the heavens. I could feel my breathing shallow as I heard the clock strike ten, knowing that at any minute my sister would come for me, and that I would be free. I walked to the pitch window and stared to the ground below, there was no yellow glow lighting the ground below, and I felt the anticipation seep through my skin as the minutes draw on, as if they were there only to torment me. My heart ached as I watched small animals scurry below in the bushes.

Maybe I had been wrong, or maybe she changed her mind, so much could have happened between now and then. What if she had been caught?!

No.

I would not let myself think that. She was intelligent, so much more than I was. Cynthia had never given away the secret of my gift, I had, and through my own negligence, but I would not put it past our father or mother to spy on her. Keep her safe from me, because along with all the other dangers the world could afford my innocent young sister, I was the worst. The one she needed protecting from, the one who could see if danger was on its way far before it came, and I would be the one to hurt her.

My foolish mother and father, protecting their naïve Cynthia from the one that could destroy them all, because after money, it was what others thought about you that counted the most.

Stop it!

I couldn't let myself think such things, not when there was hope, maybe mom and dad just went to bed later than usual, and she was just making sure it was safe. Yes that was it.

My god, I must really sound crazy now! I thought to myself as I half-turned my body back to the door. Silence stealing the stale air around me. I relaxed my tense posture, sat down on my thin bed, relaxed my heavy head into my palms, and stared intently at my socked feet curling in the bright moonlight. I can do this, I can be patient, after all I've waited for two years to be out of this cage, and thirty more minutes wouldn't destroy me.

My mind began to blank and draw out in a sleepless coma, when I heard a small thrumming from the stairs below. My heart beat began to race, as I jumped to my feet, rushing the few steps to the almost invisible door. The thrum grew slightly louder, as it grew closer, and suddenly it stopped. My heart raced like it was trying to break through my fragile rib cage, the thrum stopped, and in its place the sound of metal on metal. My heart stopped, and my vision blurred, the blood in my face drained, and I could barely afford the energy for a whisper.

"Cynthia?" I managed in an almost inaudible breath. It had been so long since I had spoken to anyone. There was no answer, only the click click of the door unlocking. The door creaked as it slowly spread from its dust ridden hinges, and I heard the quiet breathing almost as if it were a world away.

I looked through the dark doorway at the blonde beauty I had seen in the mirror, her eyes as clear as they had been earlier that day, and her creeping smile did not give way to the fact that we had so little time.

"Hello Mary," she whispered almost as breathless as I was, "are you ready to fly?"

She smiled wider as I grabbed her around the waist, tears filling my eyes for the first time in years, and I pulled her with all my energy to every curve of my infinitesimal figure. I could feel her warmth, and knew we had a chance, a fresh start. Starting tonight we would be free, and we would keep running until no one knew our names.

"I thought I would never see you again." I sobbed out between gasps. She pulled away from me all too soon, looking pensive into my eyes, and I saw the fear there. A look only people that had something to lose would wear.

"Mary we need to run! I don't know if I made too much noise, or if father will check on me tonight, but in any case we have to hurry!" She gushed out in whispers as she held out an armful of clothes. I took them, unfolding the dark blue cotton as I ran to the bed to change. At first I thought this was a joke, but I looked to Cynthia's stone stare and knew there was no humor in it. What I thought would be a dress, was instead a set of plain men's clothing. I gazed for a moment at the breeches and shirt, and then looked back and forth from my sister to the wrong clothes.

"You want me to look like a boy, and in these plain ugly clothes?" I half-smiled, but then starting pulling off my old dress, and replaced it with the ugly garment. Cynthia rushed over to help me finish the front buttons.

"Mary, you need to look like a boy." I stared at her for a moment; no thought could explain the reasoning she tried to give me. "Listen, they will be looking for two girls, not a girl and a boy, so if one of us were to be a man, then we might get a better head start!' She explained in a calm voice, and I couldn't argue, she was right. We would have a better chance, and I would have to be her brother for it to work.

I was content with the compromise, until she pulled out a long set of shears, and at that I gasped, grabbing my hair and pulling it away from her.

"No! You can't!" I almost yelled at her, my mind racing at the thought of losing the one thing I loved about myself. She lowered the shears, calmly walking to me, and grabbing my cold hand, trying to soothe me.

"Mary…Alice," She whispered, pulling up my chin so I would look into her watery eyes, "Please, I know it's a lot to give up, for now, but it will grow back! I promise, and then I will buy you the prettiest dress that you can imagine."

I looked out my small window, the only view I had had of the world for the past two years of my life, and then to the open door before me. My heart and mind settled into contentment, and I realized this was the only way. I would almost have to become a boy, wear their clothes, and cut the long black hair that was my only beauty. I sighed, then turned, giving my sister the little bit I had left of Mary, and cried as she cut the long locks from my head.

Run. Run faster!

I couldn't breathe and I couldn't see, as we had shut the final door to the house, a light from upstairs had flickered to life. The only thing we heard was:

"Cynthia! Cynthia is gone!" A loud cry from our mother, certainly her ghoulish discovery at an empty bed, and soon she would discover mine. At that, we ran from the house in a flurry, Cynthia's dress and golden blonde hair flowing like wings behind us, and my leather shoes patting almost silent compared to her heals. We had to run until we could no longer breathe.

Cynthia was ahead of me, due to my lack of exercise, but I could hear her breathing grow shallower by each minute that passed. We finally had to stop, the sweat beaded from every pore on my body, my dyed shirt stuck uncomfortably to my damp skin, and I could see Cynthia huffing from the exertion.

That was when my world went dark. Everything disappeared from around me, even the sound of Cynthia's breathing went silent, and I saw the beginning forms of another vision interrupt my surroundings. The street was dark and in it stood a man, but this man was unlike other men. He was chalk pale, his eyes glowed red in the shadowed backdrop, and his long blonde hair flowed across his shoulders. He was beautiful, more handsome than any man, except for my doctor, that I had ever seen. I could see his normal day wear fit smoothly across his sinuous body, but as I looked closer I could see the blood. It flowed from his mouth down his bare chest, and dropped to the ground.

Drip. Drip. Drip.

I watched the blood flow wickedly to the ground from his gnarled sneer, and I noticed the two lifeless forms that lay upon the ground. I began to scream, and the horror filled my lungs, issuing in a bloodcurdling scream. The two that lay on the ground…one with blonde hair, the other with chopped black…one wore a beautiful green dress, the other a set of plain workers clothes.

The terror the vision brought me racked my senses, I couldn't fight to stay awake, and I knew this future was near, I had never seen anything so clear, so certain. My visions flashed away, almost as quickly as it had came, and I collapsed to the cold wet ground. I tried to wake up, but the darkness filled me absolutely, and I couldn't fight the coming emptiness.

What had we done? What had I done? What would cause this?

I couldn't see it, any of it, I just knew what would be, and in that realization, my mind curled in upon itself and I knew the world was no more.

My sister. My Cynthia. Where did you go?

I could see the flashes of light then dark. Cold and then warm. Where was I and where was I going? I could see the faces, though none were familiar to me, and I could smell the house. I could hear her voice so far away, begging and pleading, and then I could hear their voices stating her boundaries.

"Please just let me say goodbye!" I could hear Cynthia plead as if she were a world away.

Goodbye? Why goodbye? What was going on?

"You cannot, I forbid it! She is far too dangerous!" I heard my mother more clearly in the background.

Dangerous? Me! Oh…

"Dangerous?" Cynthia screamed as if to echo my thoughts. "She is no more dangerous than I am!" I could hear the panic in her screams as they reverberated through my mind.

"Darling, look at what she did to you last night!" My father was in agreement with my mother. "If Doctor McDowell had not been out last night, something terrible could have happened to the both of you!"

I could feel some heat return to my body, we had been caught, and all because of my stupid visions! I tried to sit up to defend myself against their accusations, but I was bound. I struggled, finally breaking in a scream when I realized that all my limbs had been tethered down, and I could move an inch. Even my head had been strapped securely in place.

I struggled fruitlessly against my bonds, the panic a full force of horror, as I realized there was no escaping this. My screams grew louder. I tried to reach for her.

"Cynthia! Cynthia, help me please!" My screams echoed back to me with no remorse, there would be no escape from this, and I knew I was gone.

"Alice! I'm right here!" She cried back to from a corner in the room I couldn't see. A blanket of sorts was laid over my eyes, preventing me from seeing where I was. "Don't worry; you're going to be fine!"

She was trying to calm me, but I couldn't. I ropes bound me tight without give, and I could feel the presence of a stranger next to me. They brushed against my side, the cold sent a shock through my spine, and I saw once again the vision of the blonde man, a river of crimson staining the pale countenance.

"Don't do this!" I heard Cynthia scream once more. I felt a prick in my arm, and slowly my world began to bleed, the white of the fabric fading to black as my senses failed.

I could see nothing. It was black for so long, interrupted only by the slightest whispers and shallow cries of unknown persons around me, and then it would grow bright. I knew nothing for so long that I began to feel I was losing myself. Every bit of the Mary I was slipped away with Cynthia, until Mary was no more and Alice was my company, and even then I felt as if Alice would die. Fading with the ever encroaching black that threatened to undermine any strength that I had left, and I knew that it would win. Cynthia, who was she? Maybe I had made her up, this black room, my hell, and Cynthia the angel I thought that would be my savior. What sin had I committed to be here? This black pit, it was inescapable and forever enduring, and could I survive it? Where would I go, if indeed I was ever to leave it?

I could feel the shadows walking around me, they felt like spirits, a world away, and I wasn't quite sure if they were really there at all. I could hear them, they talked about me, and I could feel their hot breath as they poured solid and wet substances down my throat, most of it forced.

It felt like weeks had passed, and I was numb. I couldn't feel my limbs or my mind, and I couldn't see my future, if I had really had visions at all. My mind was stagnant, collapsing like a black hole, and I was the universe, an empty shell with no soul to house. No home, no hope, and certainly no more Mary.

"It's almost as if I met you only yesterday." I heard him whisper in my ear, cold breath waking my mind for the first time in weeks. "You were so small, incredibly gifted, seeing things before they happened, and so strongly! It is almost as if you were meant for another life."

I opened my eyes, fighting against the black that enveloped the space around me, and I could see him. He was pale in the nightmarish hole, his crimson eyes cautiously examining my face with a blazing intensity. I felt a jolt of fear spasm in my brain, awaking all the senses I thought had betrayed me many weeks ago, but he looked wrong. The man I knew would hunt for me, the blonde, this man had black hair like mine and he was far more handsome than the blonde could ever be.

He seemed to sense the fear in me, and he shifted from one side to the other. It looked like he didn't even move.

"Alice, I'm going to give you a new life, he hunts for you now at this very moment, the one in your visions, and this is the only way I can save you." His eyes grew weary and sad. He came closer, this perfect stranger, and pressed his cold hard lips to mine.

"I'm so sorry Alice, I love you." He whispered in my ear, his voice urgent and full of remorse. I closed my eyes, almost expecting release, where did this little bit of heaven come from? What did I do to deserve it?

I felt a sharp pain, and my neck grew hot. The pain spread quickly to my head, followed shortly to my torso and then the rest of my body. What was going on? I was burning! It felt like someone had lit me on fire, and just as I thought I would charcoal over, a burst of cold wind hit me. The cold wind stopped and I was on fire again. The pain mounted and I wanted to scream, my mind felt like it would explode from the heat, and then I felt nothing.