Disclaimer: Full Metal Panic! and all within belong to Shouji Gatoh, Shikidouji, and whoever else has bought the rights, etc. Not me.

Author's Note: For those that don't know the set-up, feel free to visit my profile for a link to my translation journal, where I have posted a translation of the Sigma rendition of Kyokuhoku Kara no Koe, which is the story of Sousuke and Kalinin's past. For those that DO know, this is my take on what happened to Sousuke while in Nozh. Since KKNK is in Kalinin's POV, we never get to see this part of Sousuke's history. So, I'm writing it. =P I will hint at parts of KKNK here and there, and it's not necessary that you've read it, but it might make more sense if you have.

Rated M for violence and touchy subjects. I will warn for the subjects on the chapters they occur in.

Welcome to Nozh - Prologue

"Are you going to take that doll with you?" he knelt beside me and asked that question in a kind voice. He was always kind to me.

"Yeah. We're always together," I had responded, hugging the doll close. It was the only thing I had left that reminded me of my mother, of my home, and even though it was torn and had the stuffing come out of it in multiple places, it was still my prized possession. My only possession. "I'll protect this child," I said, holding up the doll as though it was the one talking. It had seen me through a crash. It had helped me find comfort after my mother's death. I believed it to be my guardian.

"Is that right," he said with a smile. "Be well, Sousuke-kun," he called after me as the man from the KGB took me away. He had told me that it would be to find my family, or, if I had none, they would find a nice home for me. Someplace I would be loved and protected.

But that did not happen…

Sousuke blinked his eyes rapidly to get tears to form, wetting his eyes before looking around. He slept with his eyes open these days, and it had not taken him long to learn that skill. No, not after that incident several months ago…

His stomach growled and reminded him he needed to feed himself. His hand tightened on the knife always present in it and he rose silently, looking around for any sign of danger. Satisfied that no one was lurking in the shadows he became one with them himself, creeping through the snowy forest without making a sound. Reaching out his hand to snap some twigs off a brush, chewing on the wood just to make his stomach shut up until he could find real food, he spared a brief thought to his dream.

It had been just about a year since this Spartan life of his had started. He was… how old now? Turning his eyes skyward he thought about it. He did not know how old he was, after all. Five, maybe six? It did not matter. It was trivial, so why did he think about it? Shaking his head to clear it, he turned sharp eyes across his surroundings. He knew everything about this wood. Right down to every shadow that belonged. And that shadow did not belong. Suppressing a feral growl, he spit the chewed twig into his hand and buried it in the snow, then took a handful of snow and put it in his mouth.

Breath was hot. The air was cold. Snow was also cold. Put the snow in the mouth and you cool the breath, so those annoyingly visible puffs of air from that damned necessity of breathing would not show up. He wrapped his scarf around his mouth so he would not be tempted to spit out the burning cold of snow, he stuck to his shadows, fitting his form in to them so that he never added to them. He was invisible.

Making his way to the shadow that did not belong, Sousuke felt his blood hum in his veins. Yes, there would be a kill soon. Perhaps the one there had food on him that he could steal. If not… then he would find a place to bury the body in the permafrost. If things got desperate, he would resort to cannibalism. His straits were not quite dire enough yet. But he would plan for them.

Got you, he thought predatorily. The boy was still staring at where he had been, he must have noticed when Sousuke had broken the branch off of the bush. Making a mental note to never do that again, he readjusted his grip on the knife and got in close. His senses are dull, he mentally berated the foolish boy in front of him. Just a few more steps and… he was turning around! No longer having the need to be silent, he rushed the last few steps and slashed with his blade, catching the boy across the throat and slicing right down to the windpipe.

Blood splashed his face with a hiss and he looked indifferently down at the defeated child. This boy seemed to be a couple years older than him, and he felt pride in the fact that he had taken the enemy down so skillfully. When he stopped clawing at his throat, when the gurgling stopped, when the fountain of blood slowed to a mere trickle, Sousuke nodded his head satisfactorily and bent down to the boy's side and began rummaging through his pockets. He pulled down his scarf and spit out the long-since melted snow he had held in his mouth with a grimace. Grabbing it from beside a tree like that, he had gotten so much dirt in his mouth.

Paying no mind to the disgusting taste and gritty texture left behind, he came up with some smoked meat and grinned. Food, he sniffed it and then tore a bite out of it, sitting back against another tree thankfully. Turning his eyes up, he lifted the jerky in tribute and took another bite before sighing happily, meat. When was the last time he had real meat? It had been so long, he could not remember. All he knew was that next spring, he would be sure to properly prepare for winter!

Half finished with the strip of meat, he pulled it away and looked at it longingly. With another sigh, he tucked it away to finish later. He stripped the warm-looking jacket off of his foe and wrapped it around himself, snuggling his face down into it and taking a moment to close his eyes and revel in the warmth. When had been the last time he was truly warm?

Well, it did not matter. He needed to finish ransacking his victim for anything worth keeping and then move. Last thing he needed was to be caught in the throes of post-victory hubris. A leather bladder filled with clean water, another with some alcohol that he could use for disinfecting injuries, some moldy bread and a pack of more smoked meat and he nodded with a grin. If he was careful, the supplies could last him two weeks. It was not ideal, but it was something, which was much more than he had just a few minutes ago. The boy had a firearm on him but no ammunition, and he did not feel like carrying the extra weight as this one had. He could see the benefit, but at the same time, small as he was, he relied on being quick. Better to carry the stuff he knew he could use immediately than something he was taking a chance on.

Briefly he spared a thought as to just what that kid thought he could kill Sousuke with, having no weapons on him besides that gun, but he shrugged it off. Time to go, his instincts screamed at him. Something was afoot, and he needed to get the hell out of there at once. For the moment, he sacrificed invisibility for speed, and rushed through the brush towards an area he knew he could stage a stand. He approached it from the side instead of going straight to it. When his instincts stopped screaming at him he melded into the shadows again and then made his way to the target zone.

Checking traps he had set along the way, he made sure everything would be in working order for whoever was chasing him to bumble into. It was his little fort in this snowy hellhole, though he hardly ever actually used it. It was a distraction, something to lure people into and catch them, a decoy. And it had certainly worked in the past. He often changed up the traps as well, keeping everything fresh and exciting, he thought with a satisfied smirk.

Working his way towards the center in a spiral, he made sure to keep his trail clean and his traps unmarked. He relied on his picture-perfect memory of the area to keep track of their locations, and though he knew it was not the smartest idea in case he had to run out quickly, he sacrificed that bit of security for a different one in the form of his enemies being unable to figure out their locations as well. He had certainly been able to navigate other's attempts of the same by learning their markers. No reason other people would be unable to do the same.

Finished with his rounds, he found a place to hide, abandoning his new, warm coat for decreased visibility with a sigh of longing. It would also be a nice decoy, but he would miss the warmth it had given him for a time. He burrowed into the snow, stuffing his mouth with some of it and biting back a groan as the unpleasant taste of dirt filled his mouth again.

An hour passed and he did not move, and he began to wonder if he was starting to go insane from being out in the wilderness for months, forced to kill for food and warmth. Ah! There! He heard rustling and then a shout, then more shouts. A group was after him? Well, shit, he thought grumpily. His mettle would really be tested now! He had never taken on more than two people at once before. From the sounds of it there were about seve-… another scream!… six people after him. Well, it should get interesting at least. I've been waiting for a challenge.

He had to fight the urge to shake his head at that thought. He had not been waiting for a challenge, he told himself fiercely. All he needed to do was survive, that was challenge enough!

Wasn't going without food or clean water for days enough?

Of course not, a voice whispered inside of him. Maybe he was going insane. You need to get stronger, better, always improving. Taking on one or two idiots won't teach you a damned thing.

Clamping down on his thoughts, he thrust all of his attention outward, listening, looking, searching for danger. No time to dwell on his mental status, he needed to focus on living through this attack. He could hear snow being crunched under heavy footfalls nearby, far too close for comfort. His entire body buzzed with excitement, and he had to fight to keep still. It was not that he enjoyed killing, it was the adrenaline rush and the satisfaction and knowledge that he was better than them when he won. That was what had him so… happy.

Listening intently to the steps nearby, he grinned when he heard the direction they were taking. He would not be found just yet and – yes! Down another foe.

"Dammit! Someone find him already, and stop walking into these fucking traps! Idiots!" someone called out. He sounded older than most of the other boys Sousuke had taken on. Maybe, say, thirteen years old? Yes, his voice was cracking slightly, as though at the beginning of puberty.

Perhaps an older child would give him a challenge.

No!

He did not need a challenge, he needed to live! That was all that was important! Live and fight and do not cry, that was all his mother had asked of him before she died. That was what he would do.

Though somehow, he doubted this was what she had in mind…

Never mind that, it was not as though he had been given a choice. He bit down hard on his lip to avoid crying out when one of them tripped over him. He had also kicked off some of the debris covering him, effectively outing him to the group. With a snarl, he jumped to his feet and punched a hole in the boy's throat with his blade, quickly withdrawing the knife and reaching down to steal the gun gripped tightly in his enemy's hands.

"Thanks," Sousuke mumbled. He was polite, if nothing else.

Swiftly turning to fire a few rounds into the woods in the direction he knew his enemies to be, he then made a break for it, disappearing into the shadows and underbrush. "Idiot," he muttered under his breath. That kid just had to trip over him, didn't he? Now he did not have the luxury of finding another good spot like that. He would have to try to lure the remaining four into more traps, but that was much easier said than done. If they watched the route he took and had any wits about them, they would know the safe paths.

He had to take out that older boy that had shouted earlier. That boy had to be the ringleader, and without him the others would likely be easier to take on. Glancing around cautiously, he nodded to himself and scrambled up a tree, wishing that this was spring when it was so much easier to hide. He did not go high, just high enough that if they passed under him they would not notice immediately.

From the sounds of it, the boys had learned their lesson. They had seen where he had disappeared and were circling the area instead of heading straight for him. Not good, he thought with a snarl. In the tree he would be a sitting duck. He really needed to take out that leader. Tipping backward, he fell from the tree and landed on his feet, quickly vacating the area. Good thing too, dirt and leaves exploded at his feet as they shot into that area.

The leader seemed to be hanging back, so now it was his turn to circle them, and hope he could come up behind the older boy and take him out swiftly and silently. As he looked around, lurking through the scarce underbrush, he grumbled to himself about their tactic. While he could not vouch for anyone else's experience, he had been dumped in the woods with a gruff "Survive. Do not let anyone else." He had assumed everyone else he had come across had been told the same, considering everyone else before always acted alone.

Then again, perhaps this leader had convinced them to work together under him and that somehow they would all be left alive in the end. He was likely shrewd, and would probably take them all out one by one once Sousuke had been taken care of. Smirking with pride, he nodded at the thought. Yes, that made sense. From what he had encountered there was no way these boys could get him without helping each other. He was better than them- Ah! Prey, he made his way as silently as possible across the crunchy snow and pine needles, grateful for the other boy's nervousness. He had a heavy step and heavier breath, covering up Sousuke's noises until it was too late.

As the warmth of blood sprayed him again, he sighed as he moved away from the fresh corpse quickly. Not him, he frowned, glancing around quickly and changing out the melted snow in his mouth for a fresh handful. Down to three now, he grumbled and set to searching out that leader again, who he could hear shouting in the distance. Humph, so he had circled the wrong way then? No, he took the path of least resistance. That was all. He did not make mistakes. Mistakes were fatal.

He sprinted to cover the distance between him and his target, dropping to his stomach when he felt he was close enough. He worked to hide himself with natural debris, grateful for his small body, and pointed the barrel of his new gun through the bare twigs of a shrub he hid in, wincing but careful not to make a sound as he was poked rather uncomfortably all over. Opening his ears but closing his field of vision, he stared through the sights and kept his aim on an open space he hoped that boy would stumble across.

Reluctantly swallowing his mouthful of dirt-snow, he grimaced and slowly, so very slowly, burrowed his face into his shirt in hopes of hiding his breath. He could not afford to take a hand off the gun just then. Several long minutes passed and he could taste copper in his mouth from how hard he was biting his lip. He wanted desperately to wipe his chin, to spit it out, but he could not move so… Shit! A loud crunch behind him, he spun, silence be damned, and fired the weapon awkwardly, wincing as hot shells hit his face, bounced off his chest. He did not get to use firearms often, and he grimaced at the realization that he still had a lot to learn.

Grateful he was already on the ground, he growled and forced his aim down from the sky and back at the target, who was doubled over and holding his gut. No, the recoil was too strong for him just then and the boy was open. Gripping his blade in arms that felt suspiciously like jelly, he launched himself off the ground and buried the blade to the hilt behind his enemy's collarbone. Yanking the blade out, and down no thanks to his height, he yanked again until it was freed and then slashed across the boy's throat, but not before feeling a sharp pain in his side.

Abandoning the heavy gun that had given him more trouble than help, he shook his head fiercely, wiping sweat away from his eyes and breathing heavily. Still not the right boy. And now he was bleeding. This needed to end and end fast. Scrambling, he tore apart his slowly dying foe's shirt, roughly bandaging up his injury and taking off from the now far too exposed position. He did not go far though, hiding in a nearby slightly thicker brush, ignoring the throbbing pain in his side and the thorns biting into his skin. Grasping the hilt of his tried and true knife tightly, he slowly moved his arm to bring up another vile mouthful of snow, shifting so that a thin branch brushed along his injury to stop the shiver of cold he had felt coming on.

There, the sound of a pair of footfalls, his last two enemies approached. They approached the now-corpse of their fallen comrade, toeing his body with disgust. Backs to him, this was his best chance. He threw the knife, satisfied when it lodged into one's head, rushing out and yanking it from the falling boy and lashing out to slash the other's leg, grinning at the spray of blood from the femoral artery. An arm wrapped around his neck and he was lifted off the ground, the knife not having dug deep enough to do any real damage, just shock and pain, to the first. His first instinct was to lift his hands, but the pain in his side grounded him, and he took stock of his situation. So much weaker than this foe, there was only one thing he could do.

Shifting his hold on the knife, he jammed it behind him, repeatedly stabbing the boy, hoping the pain would get him to let go before he blacked out. Coughing as he dropped to the ground, he held his throat and glanced to the side to see the boy hacking up blood. He stumbled over and severed his enemy's spine at the base of the neck, weakly forcing the blade through, grimacing as the act took far longer than he had wanted it to. Crying out as he felt a blade stick in to his calf muscle, he dropped, forcing his fall backwards, his weight on his blade hand, the knife managing to pierce the chest bone and into the heart of his enemy with the help of his entire weight in the fall.

He took in deep shuddering breaths, staring weakly through the canopy at the harsh low angle sunlight of the clear winter sky. His body shook and he groaned, forcing himself into a sitting position. He had to stop the bleeding, he could not afford the drop in blood pressure, not with this cold. Another set of footfalls, and he groaned, squeezing his eyes tightly shut. Had he miscounted? No. These steps were so very heavy, and so precise. They belonged to adults then.

He had not seen adults there before, not since he had been delivered to this Hell.

Sarcastic clapping reached his ears, and he turned, tired, glaring as fiercely as he could manage with his blurring vision. "Very good. You would be the winner then, child. Welcome to Nozh."