Part One

Clyde didn't like this woman, he decided. He didn't know her name or anything about her really, but he knew that he did not like what her presence did to Joan.

They would spend time alone, upstairs. Clyde wasn't sure what they were doing but he did notice the blonde one walking a little strange and Joan was usually wearing different clothes once they resurfaced. After her departure, Joan would sit with him, noticeably less chipper.

Clyde did appreciate the fact that Sherlock made himself sparse during her visits, though. For that, he was grateful but no amount of time away from Sherlock and his antics could trump Joan's unusually solemn mood that lasted days after her visit.

After much deliberation Clyde decided that he would bite next time this blonde woman, that made his Joan sad visited his terrarium, he would bite her finger. That'll show her.

Part Two

"I don't know what's wrong with me." Joan picked Clyde up from his terrarium and placed him on the floor next to her. "I'm not supposed to like people like her." She continued.

The blonde woman, who's name Clyde still hadn't figured out, had just left. As usual, Joan made her way over to her new sulk-buddy. It was times like these that Clyde wished his arms were longer, so that he could wrap Joan in a big, warm hug. She looked like she needed one.

"I'm so stupid. How do I even fall for murderer? " Joan wasn't asking anyone in particular, she just hoped saying it aloud would knock some much needed sense into her.

Clyde didn't know what to say. He also couldn't say anything because he's a tortoise but if he could, he wouldn't know what. Joan did have a point, falling for a murderer wasn't the smartest thing ever. There was no way for him to verbally comfort her so Clyde settled for nuzzling her leg as best as he could with a shell and all.

"I'm sorry,buddy. I shouldn't be bothering you with this."

"Its okay!" Clyde wanted to say. He didn't mind her confiding in him. She was his favorite human after all. Unfortunately, being a tortoise kept him from communicating that message.

Part Three

"Stop being a baby, you're not even bleeding." Joan rolled her eyes at her companion and picked Clyde off of the floor where Jamie dropped him. She gave him a little kiss on the head and walked him into the kitchen to get a treat.

Jamie remained in the living area, nursing her wound. There was no blood and the initial sting had long subsided but she was still startled by the attack.

"This would have never happened if we turned him in to soup like I suggested long ago." She told Joan as she returned from the kitchen with Clyde and a few strawberries in hand.

"I'm not turning Clyde in to soup. He's apart of the family now." Joan ignored Jamie's protests and returned Clyde to his terrarium, along with a strawberry for him to munch on. "Besides, I'm sure you deserved it anyway." She continued absentmindedly.

Clyde was proud of himself. Not only did he give this blonde woman some much needed comeuppance, but Joan called him family and he also received a nice treat. The blonde woman, who Clyde recently found out was called Jamie, kept her distance for the remainder of her visit. The two women remained in the living area for the first time since their rendezvous began; talking and sharing little kisses from time to time. He kept his eye out and made sure that this Jamie didn't step out of line.

As Joan drifted to sleep, with her head on Jamie's shoulder Clyde hatched a new plan. He crawled to the far end of his terrarium and began tapping (as best as a tortoise could) on the glass. Jamie noted the action and eyed him wearily. The two locked eyes, as best as a human and a tortoise could and Clyde hoped that his "piss off" glare possessed its desired effect.

They remained this way until Jamie eased Joan's head off of her shoulder, gave her a sweet kiss on the forehead and headed towards the door, sparing him one more glance. Clyde kept his eye on her retreating form until he heard the door close. Sighing in relief, he crawled over the the side of his habitat closest to Joan and curled himself into his shell.

Today had been stressful. After two strawberries and playing attack tortoise for the last two hours, Clyde was exhausted. He drifted off to sleep with dreams of becoming a Godzilla sized tortoise and crushing Jamie with his claws.