Warning: If you are not a fan of things idiotic, moronic, or just plain psychotic, this is not the story for you!
Hi…okay well I was reading fanfics one day when I thought "Hey, I'm a psychotic, practically insane person. Everyone else has a idiotic/psychotic fic so I should have one too!" I mean it's only fair and it can't be good to keep this all in right? Right. Well, reviews and reviewers make me happy. )
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters and I really mean no disrespect by making this. I love Stephenie Meyer and her work so…there!
By the way, I changed my name from Ceana Sorcha to emotional-dreamer. So yeah, I'm the same person. I think it fits though, right?
!Alice Cullen!
"Edward! Bella! Come here! You seriously have to try this!" They walked into the room and I showed them my "magic mushroom" stash. "I bought this from that one girl…Jessica Stanley…at school today! Now does anyone know how to do this?"
The shock that appeared on their faces was gold! Pure gold! Baby, I want to fly so high!
After another moment of waiting, I just decided to screw it and shoved a bunch of mushrooms up my nose. Then I started giggling manically. Bella followed suit but Edward (Mr. Party-Pooper) kept trying to ruin our fun.
"Aw…Edward, don't ruin the fun! You're being a very bad boy!" I whispered seductively into his ear as I pulled off my clothes to reveal my newest lingerie that came with all sorts of fun "toys".
Edward started backing away from me as I advanced on him but the sound of crying stopped me. It was Bella sobbing.
"Edward! How could you cheat on me like that! That's like incest of something! You sick man! Especially after I told Jacob to wait a few hours before seeing me…Oh whoops, did I just say that?" Here she erupts in a fit of giggles.
"Jacob?" That was Edward's confused voice.
More giggles escaped Bella. "I am NOT sleeping with Jacob Black!"
Now I started giggling, Bella had always been a horrible liar…
When I noticed Edward's scowl, I put my face close to his and whispered seductively, "Aw…Edward; it's okay. Alice will make it all better. Don't worry."
I would've continued, but my husband…what was his name again? Alex? Trevor? No…Matt? No…oh yeah, Jarrod! Of course. I was interrupted by my husband, Jarrod, running up the stairs.
He burst into the room and Edward tried to explain by saying, "Um…I can explain. Her clothes…uh…" Jarrod just brushed past him to where I was kneeling, now in a nun costume.
"Jarrod, honey, could you keep it down? I'm trying to get some spiritual guidance here…"
He said, "Of course", and turned away mumbling something about my religious habits and the name Jarrod. Well, at least I'm not instant-messaging Jesus and asking for spiritual guidance anymore. Now that was a long story…
As I surveyed the room, I grinned in amusement and triumph. Edward was angry and confused. Jarrod, my husband, was playing solitaire and drinking blood out of his little sippy-cup. Bella just revealed that she's a slut. And me? Well I'm the only normal one here don't you think? ((wink, wink))
Oh, what a tangled web we weave!
Haha, I thoroughly enjoyed writing that. Probably more than I should've…((giggles)) Until next time where I'll have Rosalie teach you about Crystal Meth and other stuff…Haha…Well I hope you're having fun. I'll develop a plot later, just let me get this out of my system for now. Review please!