Disclaimer: I am not Tabitha Suzuma. I can assure you of that. I'll even take a DNA test if necessary.
This is how Flynn feels about his life now that Jennah has gone. The characters are all from Tabitha Suzuma's books A Note of Madness and A Voice in the Distance.
I hate this. This life. Life is a meaningless existence.
Rami goes to work. He comes back. He plays with Aurora and kisses Sophie. He laughs about and tries to engage me in a conversation. Most times I stare dully at him until he laughs and pick up Aurora. Other times he holds my stare with a grin and then makes some sarcastic comment and I walk out.
Sophie is around when Rami is out. She entertains Aurora and fusses over me. She makes breakfast and lunch for me every day, even though I don't eat breakfast, and lunch is often a horrifying prospect. She goes out when Rami comes back, after hugging Aurora and me.
Aurora spends most of the day demanding attention from either me or her Mum. It's normally Sophie who picks her up and puts her in my arms; recently I haven't felt like it voluntarily.
And me? I roll out of bed and into the living room sometime between 11 and 1. I sit in the living room on the sofa. Other days, when I am less luck, I am downstairs from 2am or earlier. Every day I sit on the sofa, watching TV. I watch whatever shit is on, I'm not picky. If Sophie wants to go out, she'll often run it by me, asking if it's ok for her to go. It's only recently that she is happy for me to be left alone, she even leaves Aurora and me together now. Aurora seems perfectly content to just lie on my stomach, which is very good as I don't want to do much. Sophie once came in laughing when she saw Aurora and I curled up on the sofa asleep. She even took a picture and showed it to Rami. In the end they got a grudging smile out of me, which they made way too much of a deal about. Rami always asks me how I am feeling, when do I see Doctor Stefan again, did I take my pills and all that shit. I don't pretend to him like I did Jennah. I've learnt now that I can't control the Bipolar, I can't control the mania, I can't control my life. My life was taken from me when I was 18. When the fucking Bipolar Disorder first showed up.
There are 3 things I want in life. Number 1; for the Bipolar to go. For me to be normal and to feel normal. To not have the highs that make me scare the people around me. To not have the lows that make me scare myself. Number 2; for me to be the best Pianist. To be a legend, world famous and rich. And number 3; for Jennah to be happy. I used to think I could make her happy, but that isn't the case. I just made arguments and made her worry, I would yell at her because I was angry and she was there. She deserves better than me. Jennah can make it with her angelic voice and beautiful features. She will make it.