*Authors Note*
This story is a product of insomnia and a juicy little plot bunny I had to run with. It's set between the credits and the first scene after the commercial of episode 3x01 'Hang On To Yourself' so needless to say there are some fairly specific (and gigantic) plot spoilers below.
Also, those of you keeping up with Into The Field Again fear not, it's nearly finished. There are a few more spacing issues (specifically how to brake the chunk I've written into chapters) and since its the conclusion, I want to make sure I can give it the full attention it deserves before it's published.
Disclaimer: I don't own. If I did, I would've fed Parker to some hungry sharks by now ;P
Mentors And Jerks
"You know, I remember when I first started at the agency, I was so freaking confused by everything. And this was before my accident- I could still see but... the protocol. The bureaucracy. People who I thought were mentors turned out to be jerks. And vice versa." -Auggie Anderson
Joan led Auggie into the fray of people. It was weird, that as somber as these events usually are, people weren't really all that broken up about it. Sure, they weren't leaping for joy as they added another name to the wall, but Auggie could sense, especially from past experience, that Jai walked a fine line in dangerous territory all the while wearing a smug self-satisfied smile that tended to earn him a lot more enemies than friends. Auggie hated thinking it, but he had always known Jai's own actions would ultimately be his downfall, and though all the clues were scattered at the moment, he most likely brought it on himself.
His hand was placed on the back of a cold folding chair and he took his seat. Imagining the ocean of suits that surrounded him at the moment, there was one friendly presence that was clearly absent. He leaned in the direction of Joan who sat at his right side. "Where is Annie?"
Joan lowered her voice to a whisper as Arthur approached the podium and began speaking. "She's standing at the back of the room. Alone. Leaning against the wall closest to the door. I doubt she'll make it through the entire service."
Auggie automatically motioned to stand and go over to her but was effectively stopped by firm but gentle hand pressing him back down onto the chair from the woman on his right.
"Give her time. The best thing you can do right now is allow her to grieve in her own way."
Auggie turned his head back in the direction of Arthur, allowing for the first time to actually take in the words his boss's boss was speaking.
"The Company has suffered another tragic loss. Again..."
Auggie instantly thought back to the last time he stood in this hall donning a blue ribbon. Annie at his side as he closed his eyes, pushing back the memories of all the great losses that came before. And how, in hindsight, they all seemed preventable in one way or another.
A hand squeezed his. Joan. She must have seen him going distant and like always, was quick to reign him back to the 'here and now' before he got lost in the memories that could drown him. He focused back on Arthur speaking.
"...today it's not about the 'how's or why's' its about the person; Jai Wilcox. I'm not going to sugarcoat it; Jai was a complicated man. He'd made a lot of enemies in this building. Some were warranted, others were cast upon him unfairly because of the last name he happened to be born with. Bottom line is; Jai was a fantastic agent. He always strived to prove to others that he wasn't just here through sheer nepotism, but because he deserved his place at the Agency..."
Arthur's words faded out as they hit home for Auggie and finally let the memory he'd always tried to keep at bay engulf him.
Flashback
September 1st 2004
Auggie stepped into the busy lobby of the Central Intelligence Agency for the first time. The fresh bright interior bathed in sun from its large windows and skylights overhead was such a contrast to what he had been expecting. Looking around in amazement he thought about all the misconceptions of the CIA being a dark in dreary place full of brick walls filled with secrets. He smiled to himself as he realized he was mixing those images with the ones he'd remembered when he toured the J. Edgar FBI building the first time he'd been to DC. Now that place was depressing.
He made his way over to the first security check point, handed in his cellphone, told the guard confidently his name and business, and grabbed his newly printed personal ID and made his way with a sense of confidence and purpose through all the necessary obstacles of being cleared, and sworn in for the first time. After acing the ridiculous polygraph test that he was half tempted to purposely lie on- just to see if he could, he headed towards the DPD- the department that had recruited him, only to be approached by a sharp dressed dark-complected man.
"August Anderson?"
Auggie flashed the name on the ID card to the man as an answer.
"Right. I'm Jai Wilcox, junior field agent, DPD," the man gave him a wide smile as he held out his hand. Auggie shook it, and matched his wide smile in return. "looks like your gonna be my wingman for the next couple weeks till you get the hang of everything."
"No problem, as long as you throw me some leftover tail every now and then."
"plenty of that to go around here," Jai answered as he nodded his head acknowledgingly to some young women walking past. When they smiled and went their way he added; "that definitely won't be a problem. Follow me please." he turned and Auggie followed him through the halls that led to the department.
They chatted casually as Jai went over some standard issue guidelines for a newbie, every now and then throwing in some of his own personal experience and anecdotes for any given situation. Auggie instantly felt a manly camaraderie with the equally young, good looking man, who happened to coincidently share the last name of the leading head hancho- Auggie knew, but quickly filed that away for later. Knowing this guy would be his mentor at least for awhile he quickly imagined the two of them taking on fem fatale's, together, 007' style.
He really needed to stop watching those movies if he was going to work here.
Jai pushed passed the double doors and gestured to the busy bullpen behind him, "Welcome to the DPD August."
"please, just Auggie, I-..." he turned to look in the direction of some particulary heated commotion when he instantly collided with a mess of blonde hair and fury.
"WATCH IT! Not everyone is sightseeing at Disneyworld. Some of us have jobs to do." she snapped, and spun on her heel, no doubt Auggie thought, to whatever Ice castle in hell she came from.
"The hell was that?"
"That' be senior Agent- and wife to the head of the department-your boss, Joan Campbell. Stay on your toes and out of her way and she may eventually, not completely despise you."
"I long for the day." Auggie said, humor and sarcasm evident in his voice.
Jai laughed heartedly as he handed his charge some paper work from a small desk pushed up against the back corner of the room. "Your parking space. And here you go." he said handing him an arm full of paper work, "when your done with these, he" he nodded in the direction of the large office that stood tall, blinds pulled, over the bullpen. "will want to see you."
Present
"...for all the things Jai has done since he started, for all the people he'd rubbed the wrong way, there are an equal number of lives he's saved, and alliances created that because of him, still forge onwards in his absence." Arthur paused for a moment and Auggie could just imagine the distant look of solemness and pride that made the director such an effective public spokesperson. "Today I don't want you to remember the bad; I want you to remember the good that this man always strived to do through whatever means he saw necessary..."
Auggie swallowed as he bit back more memories.
Flashback
January 5th 2004
The door to the surveillance van flew open and a frost bitten Jai jumped inside.
Auggie gave his friend and field partner a cruel smile. It served him right. "Explain to me again why you get the hot Russian chick, and I get stuck with her brother Igor, the Ogre?"
"Seniority." Jai said simply as blew into his hands attempting to bring the feeling back to them. January's in Moscow weren't exactly paradise.
"funny how you only play that card if there is a women involved. ... And for the record, I'd say we are about the same now, at least in rank." it was true. In the short months since Auggie had joined the agency he proved just how skilled an agent he was. He was fast and efficient, had great instincts, and knew how to play his deceptive unassuming schoolboy charm to his advantage. When the two were paired, they were a force to be reckoned with. A deadly combination of speed, stealth, strength, and agility that could take on any mission now matter how dangerous. They weren't only a great team in the field, but also great friends once the job was over. Many a nights had been spent draining allen's tavern of all liquor and gullible coeds.
No matter how many warnings he received, he trusted Jai implicitly. His fellow co-workers had long been making it a habit of telling him to look after himself in the field, since his friend was not one to be trusted when the chips were down. Shrugging them off as rumors, or jealous ramblings, he had simply refused to believe they held any merit. That just wasn't the agent and friend he knew. Auggie had seen for himself that Jai had his back on numerous occasions during tricky situations when things got bad quickly.
Back to the idiot in the van who made him stand watch over 'the Hulk' while his partner got the Victoria's Secret model, He narrowed his eyes and smirked ruthlessly, knowing what he would say next would personally irk his friend to no end. It always did when he brought out the big 'D' card. "the only difference is that your daddy paid for your tuition and enrolled you in summer camp a little earlier than I could."
"shut up and turn on the monitor please."
Auggie laughed as he flipped the switch and they both pulled closer to the surveillance feed of the siblings they were trying to turn against each other.
"She looks pretty comfortable for someone who's about to trade in her brother and turn her back on her country." Auggie said reading the beautiful woman's body language as she interacted all too comfortably with the mark. It just didn't look right to him. "You sure she's onboard with this? Arthur said specifically not to proceed unless-"
"positive. We sealed the deal last night. In more ways than one," he added with a wry smile. "she and the briefcase will be in our custody before midnight tonight."
"The Briefcase?" Auggie raised and eyebrow hoping he'd heard that last part wrong.
"Yeah, ah, I got the sense last night she was starting to get cold feet. Thinking that we wouldn't pull through on our side of the deal. So I offered her a little something in good faith to show we had an equal stake in the situation. Will get it back."
"Jai, are you insane! You just handed our ten grand and a highly sensitive burn list to a shifty woman who may or may not hand over her own flesh and blood for a bribe?" Auggie shook his head, "Arthur said if we could turn her, great. If not, call it off. The others she's connected too on the list are too important!" he wasn't all that surprised by Jai's actions, he'd noticed that in moments of crisis his friend tended to act without thinking in hopes it would all just work out in his favor, this time the stakes were just to high. "I don't like this. I'm calling in for reinforcements to get the briefcase back."
Jai slammed the phone back in place before Auggie could make the call. "don't. We are so close to getting this done. If we pull it off, our promotions are imminent. My fathers always on me about not taking bigger risks to reel the big fish and he's not wrong in that. The agency likes people who take initiative, not people who chicken out. She'll pull through on her side. Trust me."
Auggie nodded silently to his partner. Whether or not he liked it, Jai had a full 10 months on him, and had far more experience in this field of expertise. Maybe all would go well...
24 hours later...
"What were the two of you thinking giving Elizabetta that briefcase?" Arthur's voice rose violently at his two careless operatives that sat in front of him. "I specifically told you to pull out at the slightest sign of reluctance on her part, not to give her the very list we were planning to add her to. The stakes of the agents lives in that book were invaluable both for the intel they provided aswell as the protection we promised them. Now its all lost. In the hands of the enemy; a woman who played you both!" Arthur sat before his head flew off his shoulders and regarded the young idiots in front of him, he shook his head and repeated in a softer more sincere tone "what were you thinking?"
When Jai failed to come up with anything that would halfway resemble words, Auggie stepped up; "we, ah, Sir, we were thinking that a simple gesture of good faith would show we were serious. Roping Elizabetta would have been a big win for the agency" Auggie twisted the truth so that he didn't leave his friend, and lone conspirator of said idea stranded in the line of fire.
"I told you it was a bad idea." Jai finally spoke.
"Wait. What?" Auggie's head snapped towards his friend who would not meet his eyes.
"It was a bad idea. And being the senior agent," Jai's voice became more confident as he spun the story. "I should have put a stop to it and called the mission off, but I saw it through, since your instincts are usually so foolproof."
Auggie couldn't believe what he was hearing. In that moment of realization it felt like the entire world he knew turned its back on him leaving him stranded, alone, with no means of escape out of the situation. He could say nothing. Do nothing. In this moment, he had no one.
"your right it was." Arthur said sternly to Jai as if he was scolding a small child. "It was horrible judgement on your part and you're going to have to work your ass off for this one if you ever want me to put you in charge of a fellow agent again. Dismissed."
Jai nodded and silently left the room, tail between his legs. Leaving Auggie thrown to the wolves.
Auggie eyes left the door where Jai had just fled, and back to the man on the other side of the desk. Meeting the man's anger filled gaze, he braced himself for the verbal beration that was sure to follow.
…...
Slamming the door from the office, Auggie was livid with the man he had thought would always have his back. Walking down the hall like a heat seeking missile, checking each area for the target, he was on a mission of barely contained rage. He wasn't sure what was going to happen when he found him, but he knew this had to be confronted. Now.
Rounding another corner he saw the object of his furiosity standing casually chatting with a female officer, hands in his pockets like had not a care in the world.
He stepped in front of the woman unapologetically "Can I have a word with you in private." he growled dangerously with a look that shot daggers. When the other agent nodded he led the way to the mens room. Once he was sure he was alone Jai barely had enough time to react as Auggie launched a shallow blow to the man's jaw.
"Anderson!"
"What the hell was that back there?" Auggie yelled. "You left me high and dry to take the blame for your stupid fuck up and you know it. What happened to having my back, huh?"
"I'm sorry August. Your still fresh enough to make juvenile mistakes. I knew Arthur would go softer on you, but me, with my father, I just couldn't...I'm sorry."
Auggie smiled in cruel realization. "I finally see why so many people told me not to trust you. I ignored them thinking it was the product of jealousy and gossip," he stepped closer to the other man who was now squirming in the short amount of space between them. His voice dropped lower and far more menacing. "but it turns out your every bit Daddy's little pussy that they say you are. Were done." Auggie gave him one last shove against the wall before he left the restroom.
Making his way down the halls, he had no idea where he was going but he knew he had to put distance between the man before something worse than a half-assed blow to the jaw happened. He entered the breakroom and made his way to the coffee pot trying to quell the anger down to slightly more controllable level. That was his mentor for godsakes! the man who was supposed to show him the ropes and have his back no matter what. He felt betrayed and completely alone and what was worse, the sole person he trusted implicitly was the one who had done it to him. He took this aggression out on the coffee he was making.
"Bad day?" a woman's voice crept up behind him. The tone was laced with a certain cool amusement that could only belong to-what he and Jai had long time ago termed to be the 'queen ice bitch'
"perfect." he said his thoughts outloud and laughed self deprecatingly "this day just keeps getting better and better."
"I heard."
"You...already? ...Really?"
"I'm married to the head of the DPD. And I'm the top dog when it comes to agent rankings within this division. Arthur would be a bad boss and worse husband if he didn't consult with me once and awhile." she said so casually and matter-of-factly, as if she was discussing office wallpaper patterns. She took the pot from him and continued speaking as she poured, her tone suddenly changing from detached boredom to intendedly icy insult "what you did was brilliantly stupid even for a rookie."
"I think I already got this speech." he said as he abandoned his coffee and turned to leave. The woman put a hand to his chest stopping his efforts to escape.
"Not about the briefcase." she stopped to hand him the drink she had been making herself and her eyes latched on to his with a sincerity he never knew existed "I meant about not trusting Jai."
Present
This time when Auggie came to a different voice was speaking at the podium. It was shaky, higher, and far less confident. Auggie had no idea who it belonged to.
"...I'll be honest, when I first met my boss, I thought what everyone thought of him; he was an arrogant asshole. But as time passed, I started noticing things- things that he would do for people, for his team, without asking. Things that he himself really didn't have to do. Bottom line is; he always tried to do the right thing despite knowing that no one would appreciate his efforts because they would likely just assume it was beneath him." The man paused, "but it wasn't."
Auggie instantly found himself agreeing with the small meekly disembodied voice. Thinking back to all the little things Jai had done for him that he had never gotten a chance, dispite their turbulent relationship, to thank him for.
Flashback
January 11, 2008
"Thanks, I can take it from here." Auggie said as he unfurled his cane and grabbed the last box of his office supplies from the passengers side of his newly appointed car service.
"You sure? The scary woman on the phone gave us explicit instructions to bring you up to the checkpoint and tell the guard to take you to section 3b."
Auggie laughed at the drivers description of his boss and then reassured the man he could handle the entrance to Langley headquarters on his own. As the cab pulled away that false confidence he was still perfecting gave way to the brutal reality of the situation: he was standing in front of a huge building, alone, blind as a bat. He might as well try to take on Mount Everest while he was at it.
'you can do this, Anderson. Just breathe and remember the steps. That's why you got up at the ass crack of dawn so that a overly demeaning mobility instructor could reacquaint you with the building for the past week.' he took a deep breath, squared his shoulders and moved in the direction he had been shown. As soon as he made his way through the glass doors, he was hit by a freight train of memories from the first time he entered the busy lobby 4 years ago. Though the smells had been there when they first started reacclimating him to the building, it had been too early, and the skeleton crew didn't really provide the full effect of the mid-morning rush that surrounded him now- Nope. Now the sounds, the smells, and the energy these people added made for a powerful trifecta of unwelcome nostalgia.
His therapists at Hines warned him this could happen. That certain smells, and sounds could overstimulate the brain and "trigger" vivid visual memories. Auggie ever the pragmatist, decided if he was going to have to relive painful visual memories from a time he could still see, he was atleast going to use them to his advantage. So he did. He used the memories along with his new found mobility skills to guide him past the main checkpoint, through the main hall passed the cafeteria, where he took a sharp turn right and counted down the 106 steps where he would find the elevator he needed.
Only, at step 106 the elevator wasn't there.
Suppressing the panic of getting lost, while so many not-so-stealthy whispering witnesses got a front row ticket was not how he wanted his first day back on the job to go. So clearing his head, he shifted the box to his left arm- still wielding the cane, and pressed the right to the wall and kept on walking till he found something, anything that could tell him about where the damn elevator was hiding. Finally, his fingers trailed along a round button, lifting his hand up he felt another just above it, and moving his hand down and to the left, found its braille lettering marking directions 'up' or 'down'. Feeling a sense of overwhelming accomplishment it was short lived when a familiar voice.
"August..."
The voice tied to his name calling was hushed and nervous but Auggie could identify the person it belonged to immediately- something that had been one of the hardest things he had to learn to adapt to. Tying voices to their respective owners and remembering and identifying them from memory for later. But this one, he knew who it belonged to easily. "Jai, I really don't have time-"
"Your at the wrong elevator. This is the storage elevator a couple doors passed the one your looking for and last time I saw it it was packed full of junk. Here," He felt the box being lifted out of his grasp and then there was an awkward pause where the hesitation in Jai's movements where so comically palpable, he had to suppress a grin at the mental image of him squirming as he tried to figure the most polite way to direct him. Finally he felt an unsure hand test his arm and pull him gently backwards.
The two of them walked silently back to the elevator and entered. After a few seconds more of awkward silence Jai broke the tension with a cough. "so...I'm sorry Au-"
"-don't want to hear it."
"I wasn't talking about...you know what? Your here." he said as the door opened and he promptly walked Auggie to Joan's door. "good luck August." he said with one last pat before loudly sitting the box that he had been carrying next to him on the floor, and turning to leave.
His words held a definite finality to them. "Your not with the DPD anymore are you?"
"Nope. I run base Ops in England now. Just had a few meetings to clear up before I head back. Look..." he winced at his own phrasing before continuing, "you may not want to hear it, and will probably never trust nor like me again, but for what its worth, I AM truly sorry for what I did to you." as the door began to open Jai knew that his former friend was in good hands and he swiftly took his exit. "your box is on the floor to your right."
with that the other man was gone.
Present
Auggie came to when he felt a squeeze to his hand. He looked towards Joan to clearify.
"you didn't want to say anything did you?" behind her voice he heard Arthur asking into the crowd if anyone else would like to say a few words.
He thought about it; his memories; and the points that had already been spoken so eloquently during the ceremony. "No. I think everything that needed to be said about him, was."
Joan looked upto the podium and when she met her husbands eyes she gave a swift nod that would go unnoticed to the tech agent next to her, that told him the ceremony could commence. He, like Annie, had their own ways of grieving, and it wasn't done with a microphone in a room full of people. He would grieve, but silently, in private. She knew her tech agent better than most, and this was his way.
Auggie struggled to hold back a few tears. It was guilt, not grief that ate at him now. The last few times he and Jai spoke, couldn't exactly be classified as on 'friendly' terms. He still stood firm when it came to Jai's less than stellar decision making towards the end, hell, it probably got him killed, but it's still no way to have said his final words to the man he spent many a nights at Allen's with. Who treated him as an equal-an adversary even, when he returned from Iraq. Who never stooped low enough to return the blows when he'd been a downright ass to him. All in all, despite some personality flaws and bad decisions, Jai had succeeded in what he had tried to accomplish from day one; that he was indeed a much better person than his father.
Familiar, heavier footsteps fell instep beside him and a he felt a strong hand press his shoulder.
"Auggie, how are you holding up?"
"I was better yesterday."