She excelled at everything. Maths, Science, Music, Dance, it all came as naturally as breathing. The girl corrected things like textbooks, her older brother's homework, anything that was wrong. The girl, River, worshipped her brother, glowed under his praise, always wanting to play.
Play - her parents called the games childish and silly, she called them adventures. "We got outflanked by the independent squad, and we're never gonna make it back to our platoon. We need to resort to cannibalism." She had said during one of these adventures. She once had such an imagination. She piloted spaceships and she fought in wars. She never got tired of pretend.
She had the softest hands, the softest skin. Her skin was always creamy and blemish free. Her eyes large brown and doe like, full of innocence and hope. Long, thick, dark lashes contrast against ivory skin. River's hair shined and flowed, resting neatly between her shoulder blades. The dark brown hair was almost always pulled back into the perfect, proper bun.
Proper - she came from money, not love. River's parents always told her that she owed them, that she had to make up for all the knowledge that she possessed. Her parents were never affectionate towards her - towards her brother Simon sure; but not towards her, never towards her.
Proper, proper, proper. Everything had to be proper on the surface; her clothes, her family, but in her mind she was always dancing.
The older she got, the more beautiful she became. The older she got, the more she knew. The older she got the more questions she asked. Why? How? Does this need to happen? The more she questioned, the more trouble she got in to. She asked why the Alliance fought the Independents if they wanted peace. She asked why they didn't leave them alone after the war. She asked why so many people had to die for the 'better' world she lived in. She didn't comprehend why it was better.
Her parents sent her away. 'A school,' they said, 'the best there is'. It wasn't a school, it was a hospital, and it was a prison. They wanted the questions to stop. They wanted her brain, her knowledge. They didn't leave much of the girl, just a shell. Empty, hollow, haunted, a weapon.
Simon found her, got her out of there, and saved her. But he found her broken. She was not the same; they had hurt her, changed her, and manipulated her. She tried to forget that place, but it never lasted long.
Her brother is a doctor now, he tries to help her. PTSD, he says, we'll get you better. But she is different. She refers to herself as 'the girl', and in third person. She talks in riddles and metaphors, confusing everyone, even herself.
Her hands now calloused from work, skin not as soft as it once was. The light tan of her skin disguises the light freckles that dance along her shoulders. Eyes once full of life have now been dulled, now showing age not reflected in her body. Rivers hair is now dirty and unmanageable, hanging limply around her shoulders. She is far more emotional after what has happened. She goes from content to upset and throwing things in a flash. Going so far as to bite, kick and scratch the people closest to her if she perceives them as a threat.
Barefoot she floats down the walkway. The cool metal under her feet keeps her grounded, reminds her where she is. Home, she is home. She found a new family, large slightly broken and dysfunctional, but it was hers. They were unsure about her at first, Crazy, Moon-Brain or sometimes Lil'Albatross they called her, and then one day they understood. They understood she was not originally like this, they understood how she had been broken. They were going to help fix her. They are family, and they protect their own.
Her life became the adventure; the spaceship she pilots is real now. Running and fighting became second nature. She is not the young girl full of hope, but the strong slightly broken young woman shaped by her past. She was once a dancer and an academic. Long ago she was young and naive. She is now stronger and smarter than ever. River Tam is a survivor.