At the tender age of eighteen Adam McFadden didn't know how he was going to pull together a good old fashioned family Christmas for his six younger brothers, but he knew he had to figure out a way to do it. It would be their first Christmas without their parents. They were all still heartbroken, a few months had not been sufficient to take away the hurt felt deep in each of their hearts. Adam doubted at this point if any amount of time would make much difference. They all missed their parents more than words could express and he knew nothing would ever change that...for any of them.
Yet, here he was, a teenager now expected to be a father. He was certainly thankful to have his sixteen year old brother Brian to help him. Brian had taken on his new role with a fearless attitude. Adam was thankful to have a solid rock like Brian to stand shoulder to shoulder with him. The younger boys were all devastated and Brian was a rock for them too. He had told Adam that Christmas was just one more thing for the two of them to pull off and felt certain they could do it.

At twelve, Crane had already told to his big brothers not to worry about presents for him this year, he indicated that he would rather they spend any money they could come up with on the little guys, who still believed in Santa. Guthrie was only two so he would be easy. Ford and Evan were six and seven and still had the belief in Santa Claus, which Adam found miraculous. Reality had hit them all square in the jaw and he thought how crazy it seemed for any of his brothers, no matter what age, to believe in something so magical and good, when fate had dealt such a cruel blow to them all. At any rate, Adam figured he'd better find out what they wanted from Santa and figure out a way to get it for them. They didn't need any more disappointments in their young lives.

Adam was sure Daniel knew the real deal about Santa, he had just turned nine and had been so devastated by their parents deaths that he likely would never believe in any kind of fairy tale ever again. It broke Adam's heart to witness Daniel looking at life with such a cynical view. Before losing their parents, Daniel could have been accused of having the "Pollyanna syndrome". He was so vibrant and full of joy, it seemed to pour off of him. He had always been such a happy and comical kid. Now, he was dark and brooding all the time. Adam would have to think of something special to give the boy for Christmas to brighten up his day, even if only for a brief moment.

"Ok Brian, so how did mom find out each year what we wanted for Christmas from Santa?" Adam asked his younger brother.

"She would get us to write a letter to Santa, or take us to sit on his lap and listen to what we asked for, as I remember." Brian replied halfheartedly as he thumbed through the mail.

"Bills, bills and more bills," Brian stated with a deep sigh.

"Yeah, I'm gettin' used to lookin' at those." Adam replied, wrinkling his nose in disgust.

"How are we supposed to pay these and buy Christmas presents too?" Brian asked, looking up at his big brother, hopeful that Adam had an answer for him.

"I dunno. I guess we could cut firewood and sell it in town for extra cash. Townsfolk always need firewood this time of year and we may not have much of anything else, but we got plenty land and plenty of trees." Adam offered.

"It's gonna take a lot of trees to meet these bills, even before you throw the price of toys into the mix." Brian replied glumly.

"I know, but it's like you were sayin' before, we can do it...we gotta do it." Adam stated matter of factly.

"Well, I guess we can get Crane to help them with letters, then he can tell us what they ask for." Brian suggested.

"Yeah, that'll work with the younger three. I dunno how we're gonna get anything out of Danny, though. He's not comin' around. He actually suggested to me yesterday that we cancel Christmas altogether." Adam said with a sigh.

"Yeah, he said somethin' like that to me and Crane the other day too." Brian replied with his head bent low, staring now at the floor. "I sure thought he'd of come out of it by now." He continued.

"He feels things deep like Mom used to do." Adam said, then continued, "Dad must've said that a thousand times, but I didn't really get it back then. I don't know how to get through to him, Bri." Adam said with a shrug of his shoulders.

"What do the counselors say about it?" Brian asked glumly.

"Give him time...that's all they ever say. I'm sick of hearing it. They don't any more know what to say to him than you or me." Adam complained. "I swear they're just makin' things up as they go along."

"Yeah, well we gotta do something to get him out of it. He's miserable and bringing us all down with him. Poor Crane worries himself sick over that kid." Brian said.

"I know. I'm worried about Crane too...and he's getting a Christmas present, no matter what he says. He's still a kid. I'm tired of him trying to be grown up all the time." Adam said, taking the mail from Brian and thumbing through the bills himself.

"I know. Sometimes I feel like that kid's older than me." Brian replied with a small grin.

"Well, he's not grown. He needs a break. I've been racking my brain and I just can't think of what to do for him. I want to get him a really good gift, but it can't be expensive." Adam said, deep in thought.

"Make Dan'l smile. That's about all I can think of. If we can pull that little guy out of his perpetual bad mood, that would make Crane's Christmas." Brian said.

"That'd make my Christmas if we could do that." Adam sighed.

"Yeah, I know. I feel the same way big brother." Brian replied.

7BF7B*****************************

"What are you gonna ask Santa to bring you, Danny?" Evan asked his older brother as they walked home from their bus stop.

"Nothin' Evan. Ain't nothin' I want that he can bring me this year. Besides, I told all of ya that I don't think we should have Christmas this year." Daniel McFadden replied glumly.

"But Danny! He's comin' anyways. Just 'cause Momma and Daddy ain't here anymore, he's still gonna come! He comes to everybody's house, no matter what!" seven year old Evan stated emphatically. He was sick of Daniel's bad mood. He knew he was hurt about losing their parents, but so were the rest of them. But that didn't mean they shouldn't look forward to Christmas. Adam and Brian had said so.

"Hey Evan. You think we'll go get a tree this weekend?" Ford asked excitedly. Their little brother was panting just trying to keep up with them. He was only a first grader and was still getting used to the long walk from the bus stop.

"I'm sure if we ask Adam, he will take us out to find one. We got plenty of trees!" Evan answered with much enthusiasm.

"Yeah, but he and Brian stay so busy, what with the stock and taking care of Guthrie...and Brian said he had to study hard this weekend for finals. What is finals anyway?" Ford asked, then continued, "I don't think we have them in the first grade."

"You don't." Daniel replied, breaking into his younger brothers' conversation. "They're just big tests that they give in high school. They ask them a bunch of questions about everything they were supposed to have learned all this year, so far." Daniel continued to explain.

"Danny, do you hate Jesus?" Ford asked.

Daniel stopped in his tracks. "No. Why would you ask me somethin' like that? I never said I hate anybody." He replied, his eyes widened in surprise.

"Well, Momma always said Christmas was a time to celebrate Jesus' birthday. I was just thinkin' maybe you don't like Jesus since you don't wanna have Christmas no more." Ford sniffed.

"I got no problem with Jesus, Ford...I just think you're all crazy to feel like celebratin' anything this year." Daniel tried to explain.

"Don't listen to him Ford. He's just a grump." Evan replied.

"Like the Grinch?" Ford asked Evan.

"Yeah, that's it...He's just like the Grinch who stole Christmas. Only he ain't stealing our Christmas!" Evan replied, suddenly grabbing Ford by the arm as they both broke into a run to distance themselves from their moody older brother.

"Call me names if it makes you feel better. I'm too old for your silly Christmas junk anyways!" Daniel called after them, kicking at the dirt beneath his boots. All he meant was that Christmas was gonna suck this year. It would be so sad without Mom and Dad. Daniel figured that even if Adam and Brian had thousands of dollars to spend and even if they stacked presents ten feet tall around the tree this year, Christmas would still be awful. No amount of money or presents could make Christmas fun...ever again. It didn't help any that Daniel still felt guilty for their deaths. Nobody but Crane understands. He hears me when I talk. Why don't the rest of them get it? Daniel pondered, as he let his little brothers leave him behind. He decided to head for the barn to get his chores done for the evening.