Cubknapped
by Sharan McQuack, Launchpad's wife.
Based loosely on Kaboom's Ducktales #4 "Rightful Owners part 4" "No
refunds, no returns"
Since the Powers That Be have, for a change, NOT driven me crazy
with Christmas music WAY to early, my annual Christmas Ducktales
story is a little early. Thank you VERY much.
Mr. McDuck received reports that Flintheart Glomgold was displaying Yetis
in a circus. Near the village whose name unfortunately translates as
"Duckburg" (1) that the society of explorers meet in, Glomgold had
erected an arena and was charging admission to see real, live yetis.
Mr. McDuck had Launchpad fly him there and went to the arena to check it
out. Launchpad, once he had flown Mr. McDuck there, went to the mountains
to find Snowy and Pitcher and check this out.
Launchpad soon found the yetis were not in their cave and by all
appearances had not been there for quite sometime. So, Launchpad went
to the arena to help Mr. McDuck investigate there.
Meanwhile, Mr. McDuck found that both Snowy and Pitcher were performing
at Flinty's circus. They were not being abused. Their cage was clean and
spacious. They were well-fed. They were not over-worked nor beaten.
"I'd be a fool to treat them badly! People pay so much to see them! And it's
not like I can get more Yeti to replace them!" Flinty said to Mr. McDuck.
"They are intelligent beings..." Mr. McDuck began.
"Prove it! They can't talk! I can display them like any animal! As long as I
treat them well, and I'd be a fool to do otherwise, you can't do anything about
it! "Flintheart gloated.
"How are you preventing them from escaping? They're so big and strong,
surely they could escape anytime they wanted!" Mr. McDuck demanded.
"Maybe they are intelligent and they WANT to stay here? It's warm, there is
plenty of food, they perform in front of cheering crowds...beats living in an
ice cave if you ask me! "Flinty suggested.
Mr. McDuck left frustrated. How could he know that Flinty wasn't right about
that? Since nobody knows what animals think, assuming they hate performing
in front of a crowd is an assumption. Maybe they do and maybe they don't.
Meanwhile, Launchpad had been pretending to be a roustabout (2) and was
snooping around the circus while doing odd jobs there. While investigating
some cages, Launchpad set off a booby trap and a giant snowball fell on him.
Some flunkies moved Launchpad out of the circus post-haste. They wanted
to get Launchpad out of there before Mr. McDuck saw him.
However, Mr. McDuck was leaving then and he saw Launchpad just as the
flunkies started carting Launchpad out. Mr. McDuck yelled at the flunkies,
they ran and just then, Launchpad shook off the snow.
"Launchpad, are you OK? What were doing here, dressed like that?"
Mr. McDuck asked.
"I was pretending to be a roustabout so I could snoop around...a giant
snowball fell on me...The babies! Mr. McD! Flinty has Snowy and Pitcher's
cubs! I saw them just before the snowball fell on me!" Launchpad said.
"Flinty must of hoped I couldn't remember that after being frozen!"
"Aha! I was wondering how Flinty was keeping Snowy and Pitcher from
escaping, how he was getting them to perform!" Mr. McDuck stated
"But if Flinty has their cubs, that would explain everything! They have to
stay or lord knows what Flinty will do to their cubs!"
"Why do you suppose Flinty isn't showing the cubs? Baby yetis would sell
even better than adults." Launchpad asked.
"Very good question." Mr. McDuck mused.
"Mr. McDee, you've seen Snowy and she wasn't wearing her jewelry was she?"
Launchpad asked. "Or is Flinty displaying it?"
"No, she wasn't. And it isn't on display in the circus, either." Mr. McDuck replied. "And
nobody sold that much gold lately, either."
"I didn't see it anywhere in the caves. Do you think there is a connection
between the missing jewelry and Flinty not displaying the cubs?" Launchpad
asked. "Maybe Flinty is trying to pressure Snowy to give her the jewelry by
keeping her away from her cubs till she does?"
Meanwhile, Big Time is asking Flintheart about the cubs:" How come you ain't
showing off the cubs? That would really bring in the big bucks."
"Assuming they don't escape. And they are so young and small, they might
find a way to escape. Besides, I don't want anyone to know about the cubs
existence just yet." Flinty explained.
"Why not?" Big Time asked.
"Have you heard of harpies? Or Larkies, as they are sometimes called?
I'm planning on capturing some. A harpy has hatched 3 harpy chicks. Three
MALE harpy chicks. If I capture them, I can get all the harpies to work
for me, as long as leave their precious males unharmed!" Flinty schemed.
"I don't want Scroogee thinking about very rare baby animals right now.
That crazy pilot of his may know about the infant harpies...I don't want
either of them interfering in my plans again!" Flinty continued.
However, Flinty did not realize how fierce the harpies are or how man- happy
they are. There were only eight adult harpies, (including the transformed
Murlock) but when the Beagles attempted to capture the infant harpies they
soon thought there were seven zillion of them.
The angry harpies even took the blindfold off the dragon, waking it and then
sicced it on the Beagles. The Beagles panicked and fled. So did Flinty.
But once the sleepless dragon was awake again, even the harpies could not
stop it. Somehow, the news of a dragon on the rampage reached our heroes.
Launchpad flew Mr. McDuck there.
"Hurry, Launchpad! I own property not that far from there! I don't want a
dragon trampling around it!" Mr. McDuck ordered.
"You own property everywhere. But I'm hurrying. I still sorta owe the
harpies a favor for saving my life!" Launchpad said.
This time, Launchpad knew how to stop the dragon and since he was
flying a plane, he had the opportunity to do so. Launchpad flew over the
dragon's head and opened the cargo bay, dropping a tarp over the dragon's
head.
The dragon is normally sleepless because it has no eyelids. Once the tarp
fell over his eyes and he could no longer see, he slowly flapped until he
landed, then he folded up his wings and curled up to sleep.
Meanwhile, Flinty fled and decided to drop his plans. Scrooge had caught on too soon.
Then Launchpad landed his plane. The harpies greeting them.
"They tried to steal Anastasia's babies! And they are male!" the harpies
reported.
"So, Flinty IS kidnapping remarkably rare baby animals. I better check
with my agents to make sure my passenger pigeons are safe!" Mr. McDuck
said.
Well, the passenger pigeons were fine. But other agents, located far north
reported that Beagles were up to no good in the Arctic circle, but were not
certain exactly what they were up to.
"Flintheart's agents have been spelunking in ice caves. Nothing lives down
there, they are unstable!" Mr. McDuck's spies reported" Hot springs bubble
up down there. It's freezing cold on the surface, but the hot springs make the
caves warm. Also unstable. The difference in temperature cause cave ins and
sudden collapses. "
"Ice caves? You don't suppose there are more yeti living there, do you?"
Launchpad asked, over-hearing this.
"Flinty must be after some sort of incredibly rare animal. Fly me to the
Arctic Circle, Launchpad. I want to know what Flinty's after and stop
him!" Mr. McDuck ordered.
So, Launchpad flew Mr. McDuck to the ice caves in the Arctic Circle.
Mr. McDuck's agents were waiting for him. There was no sign of Flinty.
"I'm sorry, sir. But we're not going down there. It's suicidal and we don't
believe there is any animals living down there." One Agent said.
"Beside, IF we went down there, how would we get back UP? That ice
is slippery, it's too deep for ropes..." the Other Agent added.
"Flinty's agents must have a way to come back up...perhaps we could
lure them here, somehow. "Mr. McDuck mused.
"What if Flintheart called them and ordered them here? I have a radio in
my plane...if you imitated Flinty's voice..." suggested Launchpad.
"I don't know the names of Flinty's agents..." Mr. McDuck objected.
"Since when does he call his lackeys anything but dope, stupid head and other
nice names?" Launchpad inquired.
"And they are undoubtedly Beagles. Well, I suppose it couldn't hurt to try bluffing
them out." Mr. McDuck agreed.
"So, Mr. McDuck called out on the radio: "Flintheart Glomgold calling the Beagles!
Get up here this minute, with or without the animals! That blasted Scrooge is on the
way! "Mr. McDuck said, doing an excellent Flintheart Glomgold impersonation.
"Hey, boss! What a conwinkadink! We just caught the "package" you sent us down
here for...still don't believe it...Our rockets are ready to take us back up to the surface."
unnamed Beagle replied.
Mr. McDuck, imitating Flinty, ordered the Beagles to resurface at the entrance to the
ice caves our heroes were waiting by "lest Scrooge catch them in the act".
The Beagles soon emerged from the caves, only to have Mr. McDuck and Launchpad
grab them. The Beagles prey, three very young FLYING reindeer fawns help fight
the Beagles.
"I remember now! Santa told me his flying reindeer originally came from ice caves
under the Arctic Circle!" Launchpad said. (3)
"Launchpad, how did you forget that?" Santa Claus, who suddenly landed his sled
right next to them asked.
"I was three, nearly four years old when you told me that, sir." Launchpad replied.
"So you were. As for you Beagles..." Santa said to the incredulous Beagles who
were staring at Santa in shock "you have been very naughty boys!"
'You can't be real. I refuse to believe it." one Beagle said.
"That's always the trouble. The bad ones won't believe." Santa sighed.
Then Santa came to the three reindeer fawns.
"You're orphans, aren't you? Tough neighborhood down there. Would you like to
stay with me? Plenty of other flying reindeer, plenty to eat...you only have to work
once a year and that's not till you grow up." Santa offered.
The fawns nodded.
"Good. I'll ask again when you're grown. You can change your mind if you want to
be free. You don't have to live down in the ice caves..you could pretend to be ordinary
reindeer. Although pretending to be something you're not seldom works." Santa said.
Santa put the fawns in his empty sleigh and flew off.
Our heroes, finding the Beagles had fled in the confusion, went to the arena
and freed the yeti cubs, Snowy and Pitcher. Then Launchpad led them onto a cargo plane
and flew them back to their ice cave home.
"What happened to your jewelry, anyway?" Mr. McDuck asked.
Snowy showed how she had hidden it out of the reach of her cubs.
"She was afraid the cubs might try to eat it or otherwise get hurt by it!"
Launchpad said, catching on.
Then Launchpad and Mr. McDuck went home.
The End.
(1) Quote one of the explorers just before our heroes go to seek the Lost
Crown:" I will return to DUCKBURG to await your return".
(2) Somebody who does menial work at a circus, from mucking out cages to
feeding animals...
(3) See my story "Twas the night before Christmas"