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Summary: A girl breaks a boy's heart only to realize later that she couldn't breathe without him. Will he take her back when she pleads forgiveness or has he moved on leaving her mistake to haunt her forever?

Back To December

By MyFallenVampire

Chapter 1

My heart to you is given: Oh do give yours up to me; we'll lock them up together, and throw away the key. –Frederick Saunders

It had been 8 months since I was last in the rainy town of Forks, Washington, but it felt like it was yesterday as I pulled into the familiar parking lot of the only diner in town. I took a deep breath before opening the door of my new Audi and stepping out into the pouring rain. My eyes were immediately drawn to the silver Volvo on the other side of the lot; it was a good sign. He had actually come. I made sure to compose myself before heading into the diner.

He was easy to find; sitting on a stool in front of the counter with his back towards me, but I could tell it was him by his unruly bronze hair. The diner door behind me opened, as an old man walked out, and a blast of cold air whirled around me. Edward turned rigid in his chair before slowly turning around to look at me; his piercing green eyes seeking out my chocolate brown ones. His eyes didn't light up like they used to though they were void of all emotion. He had his guard up, and I knew why. He looked the same as I remembered though; stunning good looks with his pale skin and defined features.

"Hey." I spoke tentatively.

He gave me a tight smile. "Hey." He stood up and walked over to a booth gesturing for me to sit down, as I did, while he sat opposite me in the booth.

"So how've you been?" I asked, praying he'd answer.

"Fine, I've been extremely busy finishing up my residence at the hospital." Edward had graduated last spring from medical school so he could fulfill his dreams of becoming a doctor like his father, Carlisle.

"That's great!" I exclaimed with maybe a little too much enthusiasm.

"Yeah," He said getting a faraway look in his eyes before shaking his head and coming back to the present. "What about you?" He asked with a sad smile.

"Um, okay I guess. I got promoted to editor at the publishing house." It was most likely due to my lack of social life and putting all my time into my work, rather than any motivation to succeed.

"Wow, that's amazing." I shrugged, sure the larger paycheck allowed me to get the Audi, but it didn't make me any happier. "So how's the book coming?"

"Not too well," I hadn't written anything since I last saw. "I haven't really had much inspiration lately." None, actually. "So how's your family? I haven't seen them in a while." I quickly changed the subject.

"They're great. Jasper just proposed." We were both quiet for a moment at the mention of proposals.

"I bet Alice is going insane trying to plan it all." I said in hopes of trying to lighten the mood, but it didn't work.

"People don't go insane planning weddings Bella." Edward said in a quiet voice looking down at the table. I knew he wasn't talking about Alice and Jasper.

"I'm sorry!" I blurted out. His head snapped up to look at me, and he searched my face; though for what I didn't know.

"Hi, sorry for the long wait," A voice interrupted Edwards staring and I turned to see a clearly disheveled waitress. "I'm Sally; can I get you guys anything?" I had totally forgot where we were and hadn't even looked at the menu yet, so I just ordered chocolate chip pancakes. It was almost lunch, but I didn't care I needed something sweet, Edward kept with my breakfast idea and ordered eggs an hash browns.

After the waitress went to place our orders and get our drinks, Edward and I entered a somewhat tense small talk about the weather (which was wet), and his family, not wanting delve back into the conversation we had begun earlier. His family was doing well. His father was Chief Doctor at Forks General, while his mother, Esme, was an interior designer. His brother Emmet owned an auto shop with his wife Rosalie Hale, while his sister Alice was a clothing designer who owned her own store. Her fiancé Jasper was a therapist.

By the time we were done eating we had talked just about everything except the huge elephant in the room.

"I'm so glad you made the time to see me." I said gratefully as we walked towards my car.

"Of course Bella," He said looking over at me for a minute before looking ahead again and completely freezing.

"You got an Audi?" He asked completely stunned.

"My truck died." I answered simply; I wasn't going to tell him I only got it because he had said do many times I should, and that I had wanted something to remind me of him even if he is on my mind every second of every day. That would of showed just how pathetic I really was. But he obviously made the connection.

"What are you sorry for Bella?" Edward asked, bringing up our conversation from earlier, staring at me intently.

"I'm sorry for that night." I said quietly looking up into his eyes. This was what I had come here for, to tell him the truth, so I swallowed my pride and continued. "I go back to December all the time. It turns out freedom isn't anything but missing you, wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine. I'd go back to December and turn it all around and change my own mind, but I can't. I'm sorry I was so scared. I miss you and if we loved again I'd love you right, but if that door is already closed and chained I understand." I finished, quickly looking down to hide the tears threatening to pour down my face, waiting for him to say that door has been closed and locked with deadbolts.

"Bella-"Edward started in an agonized voice before being cut off by a high pitched squeal. I quickly looked towards the sound to see a short dark-haired pixie running strait at me in high heels. Alice!

I heard Edward sigh beside me but before I could look over I was enveloped I Alice's small arms, I hugged her tightly back. She was my best friend and besides Edward I probably missed her most out of all his family.

"Bella, I've missed you!" Alice exclaimed in exuberance.

"I've missed you to Alice." I sighed pulling back to look at her. "You cut your hair." I stated, her long hair was replaced with the pixie cut.

Before she could answer though Edwards phone went off. He pulled it out and looked down at it his face turning into a look of annoyance. "I have to go." He sighed looking at me and running his hand through his hair. That one familiar gesture sent a pang of longing through me. I just nodded at him before he turned around and walked back towards his car. MY eyes followed his movements- memorizing them, it might be the last time I ever saw him.

"Hey Bella, you ok?" Alice asked, concern lacing her words.

I turned back to her. "I'm fine." She looked between me at the direction Edward went before finally settling on me. She looked me up and down for a minute with a look of disdain before excitement lit up her features.

"Oh Bella, I just remembered my new shipment came in today and I need another model!" Alice seemed so excited with the announcement that even though I didn't like being her Bella Barbie, I went along with her idea anyway.

I followed behind Alice as she drove to her store in Port Angeles, excited about getting to also see Rose today. Emmett's wife Rosalie was one of Alice's usual models so she was most likely going to be there.

She was there and we reunited happily as Alice dressed us in different outfits and had us parade around in them. Rose was as graceful as I remembered, but I the certified klutz was just praying I didn't fall.

"Oh my god that dress was made for you Bella!" Alice exclaimed she had dressed me in a midnight blue strapless dress that was cinched at the waist and had a scrunched skirt that ended mid-thigh. I had to admit it did look pretty good on me. Rose clearly agreed with Alice and even a few of the other models murmured agreements.

"You can wear it to the party tonight!" Rose said. I looked at her confused.

"What party?" I asked.

"My engagement party," Alice admitted a bit sheepishly. "I wasn't sure if you would want to go. I was going to email you, but you're here now and you talked to him already so everything's fine now and you can come!" She concluded happily. I clearly understood the 'him' was Edward, though I wouldn't describe things as fine on that front. He thought of seeing everyone else though spurred me in my decision of saying yes though.

"Where are you staying Bella?" Alice asked while we walked out to our cars after the mini fashion show.

"At Charlie's," I answered; even though Charlie had been dead now for about eleven months, I still saw it as his house. The house had brought up bittersweet memories about him when I had arrived the night before, but then again the whole town had brought up bittersweet memories of everyone I left behind here.

"You gonna be ok there?" Rose asked concerned.

"I'll be fine." I assured them with a small smile.

"Alright," Alice said with reluctance not believing me, "We'll come by at five to help you get ready."

"Thanks guys." I was extremely grateful that they didn't ask any questions about Edward or why I had left town so quickly last December without even a goodbye, and that they could welcome me back into their lives so easily. "I've really missed you guys." I gave them each a hug and told them I'd see them at 5 before getting into my Audi and driving the familiar route to the weathered white house whose owner I had spent so little time with.

Growing up I hadn't known who my father was, and I knew my mother Renee didn't and probably wouldn't talk about him. Once I turned eighteen though and went off to college I hired some P.I. guy named J. Jenks to find him, which he did in the town of Forks, Washington. So the summer after my college graduation I travelled to this small town on the Olympic peninsula and met my dad for the first time at 22 years old.

Charlie welcomed me with open arms saying he would have wanted to be in my life if Renee had been so adamant in him staying away. I had only known him for a few months when he died of a heart attack. Most people would have blamed Renee for not allowing him in my life, but I couldn't do that. My mother was harebrained and eccentric, more like the child in our relationship than I ever was. It was more common for me to blame myself for things, and I did blame myself for not getting to know him earlier.

The house was exactly how I remembered; I hadn't the heart to get rid of anything even though Charlie had left me all his assets to do what I want with. I went upstairs to the room that had been declared mine while Charlie was still alive to take a nap completely exhausted with the day's events. The room had sunflower yellow walls, white furniture, and a powder blue bed. The color scheme made it very calming, and peaceful; before I knew it I was dreaming.

It was my third day in Forks and I had encouraged Charlie to go fishing since his friends wouldn't stop begging him. It also gave me a chance to explore the town, there wasn't much to see though a library that needed a larger selection, a sporting goods store, a diner, a grocery store, and then a music store which quickly became my favorite place in the whole town. I was perusing through the classical section when I first heard his voice.

"Are you looking for something particular?" A velvet voice asked from behind me. Startled, I whirled around quickly losing my balance in the process until two strong arms reached out to steady me. I looked up to identify my savior only to get lost in his emerald green eyes.

"You ok?" He asked. I nodded mutely unable to form a coherent thought. He smiled crookedly and I pulled my gaze from his to get a better look at him. He had pale skin, sharp features, perfect lips, and bronze hair that brightened his green eyes. He was in one word . . . gorgeous. I suddenly became aware that his arms were still around me holding me to him. He seemed to realize that too because he quickly let go and stepped back. "I'm Edward Cullen." He introduced himself holding his hand out to me, as soon as I touched his hand though an electric shot ran through me.

"Isabella Swan, but I prefer just Bella." I said a bit shakily currents still running through me.

I awoke to the sound of pounding on my front door.