She's A Butterfly
Carol stood at the sink, her hands on autopilot as she dried the dishes and watched Sophia through the small window. Her hair had grown out quite a bit, the fall breeze blowing though it and pushing it away from her face. Long gone were her fearful eyes and timid smile. She was everything a twelve year old was supposed to be and more. Carol was certain Sophia would have had nightmares from when she was younger but a child's mind was full of surprises. The years had flown by so fast and although she had escaped the darkest part of her life she couldn't help but wonder if the light had been there all along.
Life seems so open to possibilities when you're a teenager. You have the whole world in front of you to do what your heart desires and at eighteen years old the only thing Carol's heart wanted was Ed Peletier. The concept of love was so foreign to her that she mistakenly thought that he was her world.
She wasn't sure where things went so wrong but if she had to guess it was when his only brother was killed in an accident. There was a point in time when they were able to talk about their problems, hell talk in general, but he was a changed man who took to the bottle. Her once tidy house was now littered in half smoked cigarettes and empty beer cans. She was a housewife though, dutiful and loving, she cleaned up after him, waiting on him hand and foot while he was home.
The real fights, the ones where he left her bloody, bruised, and crying, hadn't started until after Sophia was born. A mistake that Ed often pointed out, claiming Carol only got pregnant to punish him, chain him to being the last thing he ever wanted to be; a parent. Carol took it all though. She took whatever he had to throw at her letting his words slice through and shred her soul. It wasn't until the night he went after a five year old Sophia that Carol had enough. She grabbed her daughter and drove until she couldn't see straight anymore, pulling off at some hole-in-the-wall motel.
Listening to Sophia cry herself to sleep that night shattered the last bit of Carol's heart. She didn't know what she was supposed to do. She thought about leaving before, about packing the bare essentials and driving until her and Sophia were safe, but Ed was still her husband. Carol was born and raised that vows meant something. She had vowed to love him for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health and she couldn't help but wonder if this was simply the worst.
Somewhere deep down she knew she deserved better but it was easy to dream when it was two in the morning and the world was half asleep. It was too easy to imagine a life where her daughter could prosper and smile on a sunny day because she knew she was loved. Carol would plan it all out in her head, she had even written it down on the motel notepad, everything she would need in order to leave. She had lists of places she wanted to visit, lists of things they would need to get there, and lists of reasons why she shouldn't go home. Reality would hit her in the first break of daylight that she had no choice but to stay. Ed had made sure to cut her off completely. She had no job, no money to be able to really get away only her weekly allowance he gave her for grocery shopping with the marching orders she came home with a new bottle. Having spent the only money she had on the motel room for the night, she knew she had no choice to go home. It was one thing if she was by herself but Sophia needed food and shelter, something Ed made sure she couldn't provide without him.
So, she did the only thing she could do and she went home. She went home for two years leaving her dreams and lists locked up in the dingy motel rooms. She cleaned up the broken pieces of glass, she stitched her sliced skin, and hid her tears from her fearful little girl because she didn't know what else to do. It was easy to hide the bruises because no one asked, not one person wanted to get involved, and not one person stepped up to help her. If the night was burning the neighbors would cover their eyes not wanting to get too close to the flames. Carol was used to the upturned noses and side glances as she emerged from the house the next day to get the paper. She was living in a silent prison but she would live out her sentence, she would live with the physical pain because if he was hurting her then he wasn't going after her baby girl. Carol was sure there wasn't anything Ed could do to her that would truly hurt her anymore until she heard the ear piercing scream.
Carol had dropped the dish in her hand, the ceramic plate smashing to pieces on the linoleum floor as she ran from the kitchen back to Sophia's bedroom. The little girl sat on her bed, tears streaming down her cheeks as her busted nose dripped blood onto the pristine sheets. Ed pushed passed Carol, muttering under his breath about stupid kids not listening, and that was the last straw. Carol left that night and never looked back.
"Everything alright?"
Carol blinked out of her memories, tearing her eyes away from Sophia to turn her attention to Daryl who had walked up behind her. He scanned the backyard as if searching for something that could be wrong before deciding that Sophia was just fine.
Carol smiled as she nodded and playfully hit Daryl in the chest, "Go shower before dinner you're tracking mud all through the house."
He rubbed the assaulted area in mock hurt, "Pushy, pushy." Leaning in, he rested a hand on her hip and kissed the corner of her mouth before heading down the hallway toward the bathroom.
Carol snuck another glance at Sophia and then to the only man who had ever held her heart so delicately in his hands. "Daryl?" He stopped, turning to see what she wanted. "Thank you."
"For what?"
"Just…thank you."
Daryl rolled his eyes and continued into the bathroom, the shower starting just moments after the door closed. Sophia came inside, calling out for Carol who was still a bit misty eyed at the memories that hit her like a tidal wave. She asked to go to a friend's house for dinner and Carol agreed as long as she wasn't out too late since it was a school night. She went to make dinner for Daryl and herself as the backdoor slammed in Sophia's excitement to go her friend's.
She hummed as she worked in the kitchen, stopping once she heard Daryl rustling around in the hall closet. She was about to ask what he was looking for when she saw him sweeping up the bit of mud he had tracked in the house. She knew better than to argue with him by now like she used to when they first got together but she couldn't help but comment.
"Bad luck to sweep the floors at night, you know."
He snorted as pushed the pile into the dust pan, "Don't need luck."
She did the best thing a person could do. She didn't wait for her knight in shining armor or cast her fate to the stars to decide. She saved her daughter, she saved herself, and in the end she would do it all over again. Every bruise, every scar, made her the survivor she was today and she would hold her head up high. She was a butterfly and there wasn't anything that was going to bring her down.