A-CHAN'S DIARY.
a MB fanfiction.
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Hello, my little diary.
It's been a while , hasn't it? I stopped writing short after my break
up with Yuu after the three months trial. I did write some pages, but
short after I tore them out. It was such a dramatic change... The
oh-so-bubbly-so-happy ones, and then, all of a sudden, pages and pages
filled with tears and sour feelings.
Deep inside I know why I did it. It's as if I wanted to keep in these
pages only pleasant memories, and my tendency to don't show any weakness
has a good piece of blame, too. As I write this, it comes to my mind
the scene at the park with Yuu. I didn't like to have to run away, but
it was way better than having to show my tears to anybody, even Yuu. But
it's been too long, and it's been an eventful year, so I want to write
it all, now that the storm it's over...
It's Wednesday evening. I didn't attend the club meeting, so I have
plenty of time to write it all from the very beginning, and that's what
I'll do...
I knew about Yuu short after the beginning of the last year at my old
school. It's hard for someone like him to go unnoticed, so he was a
constant subject among the girls. His eyes, his face, his blonde hair...
and his coldness, altough it seems I was the only girl who could
perceive that.
I was rather surprised that no other girl saw this while drooling around
him, but showering dreamy-eyed girls with cold water it's not among my
fauvorite hobbies. I know that, too. The hope to find someone perfect
can make you see only what you want to see.
Oh my, Arimi, what are you doing? Look at what you're writing. Some
pains and ressentments remaining, hm? Well, it's okay, as long as I
don't get carried away with it...
As I was writing, you could say that after moving to the area and
joining the school, the first I got to know was about Yuu... And about
Rokutanda, who "coincidentally" had changed school, altough he was now
forty minutes from his home.
I didn't care very much about him, at first. I joined the athletism
club, and there I met enough guys to care about. I count myself among
the ones who like being paid attention, I admit it myself. I had a lot
of admirers, but just that, admirers. I didn't let anyone go further
than that.
Altough liking attention, I'm the exclussive type. I like being the one
and only, I need to see crystal-clear that I'm loved. Altough they did
almost everything possible to get me to like them, I was wise enough to
see they weren't really interested in ME. They didn't act from the
heart, because none cared about how I did feel about them. I was more of
a trophy for their egos than anything else. I mean... if you do really
care about me, and I say that I'm not interested, why do you keep
pushing? Don't you care if I feel pressed? Don't you care about my
feelings? That's what I mean. Rokutanda falls into that category, too.
Maybe getting to know Ginta while he was in love with someone else did
help with that. At the beginning, I was a little reluctant to be friends
with him, after seeing Miki getting away from him after class, that
day. But he's an ok guy. I don't know about that subject in particular,
but while we were doing the false couple game, I could see he wasn't
another Rokutanda (altough being cousins; small world!). He was always
with Miki on his mind, and even almost didn't talk about anything else.
I can remember walking along with him, while going to another "seek and
destroy" mission to press Miki, or in the train. Always silent. My
attempts to make small talk to pass the time only would get monosyllabes
as answers. But I was ok with that. Putting the false smile wears me
out.
Oh, my, I'm ranting about Ginta, and I haven't even started with Yuu.
Well, I think that means something, doesn't it? ;-)
Back with Yuu, I didn't get to know him until the Furinkan School (ours)
Sports Day Festival. Our school was a small one, and we had to schedule
events, unless we wanted runners jumping over the net, that is.
So I, as the athletism club's representative, go to have a talk with the
tennis club's: Yuu.
We started planning, and he, with some jokes and that magic smile of
his, began to catch my attention more than the planning task. I realized
then how wrong I was to consider him innerly cold. He wasn't, not at
all. It's as if there were three layers of Yuu. Externally, it was the
Yuu everybody saw, the kind Yuu, the one with the good brains, the good
character and the athletic body. Behind that layer, was the not-so-kind
Yuu, the distant Yuu. Diving into him could take you to this second
layer, distant, lonely and unconcerned. Coming from the first, this
layer could easily scare you, and make you preffer stay in the first,
but I'm not so easy to scare. I had the intuition of an even deeper
layer, in his jokes, in his eyes... Always as if something wanted to get
out and some safety net contained it, and simultaneously a locked door
hiding it all, with a smile painted on it.
So, he was a great guy by himself: athletic, good looks, good brains.
Me, I'm a strange mix of realist and romantic, and my romantic side
sparked at the notion of being the one who could get that "something"
free from the net and out of the door. Add to it being tired of my
"admirers" and voila, you got the spell.
Seeing it from the distance, the Yuu I see now it's not very different
to the Yuu I knew. The door and the net are there, but... I suppose the
spell is Miki herself. A bit naive, but good girl. Enthusiastic,
energetic, cheerful... A thousand ways to describe her. Still, I'm a
little worried about Yuu. On our "last date" he told me he was tired of
being like that, and willing to change, but... will it be so easy?
While our trip to the Carillion Farm, I had the impression Miki did the
perfect excuse for him to behave child-like, Miki being a little
childish herself, but... is it good to depend on, to need an excuse? I
cannot help but wonder if having an excuse, someone doing the work for
him, can stop him of trying to understand and dismount his defense
mechanisms. I hope not.
Where was I? I keep on advancing events, jumping in and out of the
timeline...
Ah, the Festival. By the end of our meeting I knew I had fallen in love
with him. I didn't keep drooling around him, my responsabilities kept me
from that, and what's more, Rokutanda spotted us and began his trademark
yelling show. Since then, I began to see with other eyes all the girls
who did talk about him; I even began participing in some of these talks.
But it wasn't going to be easy. I got to know he had refused every girl
who had ever asked him to be his girlfriend, some of them twice. I got
very depressed, because I knew every cute girl had asked him, and I was
really far from being the top girl in the school. Not that I'm
unconfident about my looks, tough. :-)
A boy from the athletism club, who I had rejected some time ago, gave me
the support I needed then. Maybe he was the only one I've ever rejected
who deserved a chance, afterall. He quit pressing as soon as we talked
heart to heart, but we remained good friends thereafter. Inwardly, I
knew he kept some hope, and that he was waiting for a better chance, but
I was already focused on Yuu. Atsumu told me he had talked with him from
time to time, and knew he had rejected mostly dreamy-eyed, fearful girls
easily, having some more trouble to do so with determined ones. But he
had rejected all of them, anyways. So I had a little problem: not too
pushy, not too soft.
When we stood away from the crowd, facing each other, I knew by his
calmness that he would have a response for every possible way I could
ask him out, given his torough "preparation" so I had to be creative,
to find an untrodden path... And I did.
At first, he was so surprised he couldn't even speak. But he could react
anytime, so I played my last card: determination. He found it so funny
he accepted, and I was extatic with joy.
Then followed the three most colorful months of my life until the
moment. We called each other, went out bowling, shopping, to the movies,
and so on. I was really really excited, but I couldn't say the same
about Yuu.
It was a strange game we played. I can say this looking now from the
distance. I was really excited. Yuu was happy, too, but to a different
level than mine. I wanted to talk to him every moment of the day, about
anything. I was crazy for him. He was happy, but very, VERY calm. I'm
sure he enjoyed these three months, but still...
I would talk to him excitedly about anything, then he would answer me
happily too, but calmly. VERY calmly. And then, my energy would suddenly
drop, putting me at his own level. Then finally, I'd remember how happy
I was to have him there, feeling extatic again, and then we would start
again.
Everytime he answered my excitedness with his calmness, I would think
he didn't find it that funny, and feel a strange feeling of guilt. It
wasn't very important, as long as I could shove aside or ignore the
feeling. But there came a moment when I couldn't ignore it anymore. I
felt automatically drawn to his level of energy. I was afraid he
could think badly about me if I did, for he never joined me in my joy.
I was starting to get a bit depressive about the subject, but I decided
to go on, and keep on trying to get Yuu to open his heart to me. And
then, determined, I go to the park where we used to meet. I didn't knew
how many time had passed, so it fell over me like a rock.
The time was over, and Yuu, as he had thought before the start, couldn't
see me as anything more than a friend. I felt... betrayed. I had given
my very best, day after day. I had even hidden the depressive feelings I
was having because of his calmness, or better said, inner indifference.
A lot of things passed through my mind in that moment. In part, I felt
betrayed. In part, relieved. But I loved him very much, still, and the
perspective of losing him forever pierced my heart side to side.
As later I would tell Ginta, there was too my hurt pride. You want
someone, someone who you consider "good", and he doesn't want you. You
can't help but think YOU are wrong, fundamentally wrong, wrong at a very
basic level. That's what got the better of me and made me turn and run
away. He grabbed my arm, but after yelling some harsh words at him I
left, nonetheless. Things I didn't mean at all, but my pride when hurt
mades me do things alike. I'm sorry, Yuu...
I told him he would never be able to love any girl, but I was wrong.
There was that photo from his childhood in his room, that of him and
the pigtailed girl, fishing and laughing, as proof of a different Yuu,
hidden sowhere in his heart. But I wasn't able to bring him out.
The months that followed were pure hell for me. The tears would come to
me by nothing. I used to skip classes, too; nothing interested me. I
knew running would liven me up, but strangely that's what I didn't want
to happen. Atsumu was very worried, and Rokutanda too (he's not that
bad, after all), and all my friends. I tried to push Yuu out of my mind,
but the more I did, the more I'd think about him.
Finally, we separated when we had to enter high school. He entered
Yokohama, and I deliberatedly chose Sakaki, so I wouldn't see
him anymore. I'd like to be able to say the same about Rokutanda, but
again "coincidentally" went to fall into Sakaki. But altough being far
away, Yuu's memories didn't stop of running through my mind.
I even accepted going out with Gendo, thinking it would help, but I was
wrong. Firstly, he wasn't the right choice. Nothing wrong with Gendo,
but he's not my type, too proud and dominant. I heard he's dating Yui,
now. Secondly, it wasn't the right medecine. I was too inmersed in
self-pity, and I was always comparing with Yuu. I thought over and over
that none could replace Yuu, and so, none could.
Then, when Gendo took me to WonderDog on our third and last date, I saw
Yuu again. I met Miki, too. I thought she wouldn't be a rival to me, but
I was wrong. Again, I was ignoring the Yuu factor.
I was REALLY amazed when Yuu told me his parents' crazy project. I still
dunno how is their children aren't young delictives... Go for a trip,
meet another couple, divorce and switch partners. Oh, and to don't
divide the children... let's live all together! I thought this only
would happen in anime. @_@U
I started to call him from time to time, and to skip my last classes to
be able to wait for him outside Toryo. But he was his usual kind and
distant self.
How funny, this Miki... One day, she suddenly grabs me and pulls me
along with her. He told me she'd just argued with Ginta, and didn't
want to see him at the moment, but I didn't buy it (another Rokutanda?).
Then came the Annual Toryo's Festival. Miki wasn't very glad to see me
around but that was ok with me. Strange fate, Ginta and Yuu had paired
to face Rokutanda at the match. Miki and Ginta argued and that's what
got the better of him along half of the match. So simpleminded, this
Ginta. But again, it showed how much he cared about her. Yuu was doing
right, but Ginta was disconnected. I rushed out to look for Miki, before
they would lose and get Yuu a nasty haircut (Ginta's idea; Miki told me
this was the only punishment he seems to be able to think of, god knows
what did she mean with that...)
But after a few words from Miki, Ginta got it over, and he smashed five
straight games to Rokutanda, some sets just serving. I must recognize I
was impressed. Time after, Rokutanda appeared with a cropped hair in the
class. I was the only one to laugh, though, because it fitted him so well
that most of the people thought he just decided to do so...
I thought that if I could bring Miki and Ginta together again, Yuu could
be mine again. Foolish, but that's what I thougt. More than this, I do
realize now that what I didn't want was another girl being able to have
Yuu's love. I'd feel humilliated, compared. That's unfair for Yuu, the
Yuu who supposedly I loved so much, but you can't give up these things
that easily...
So I wait for Ginta and carry him away with me, to everybody's surprise.
"I was waiting for you, Suou-kun. I couldn't help but being impressed
seeing you playing". Oh, my, poor Ginta. He just freezed and I dragged
him along... Ha ha. He told me a few days ago from today, over the
phone, that he doesn't know how to refuse a girl, and I said "yes, it's
true." I'd have payed to be able to see his face at the moment.
After the match I brought him to a coffee shop. We didn't say much, he
was terribly embarrassed, and I was ok with that. Someone more used to
deal with these things would have put me things more difficult. My plan
was to get Miki jealous of me, and then have her back with Ginta. But I
didn't know if he'd consent this, so I just pushed him along. However,
he's not a puppet neither, and he made things clear at Hokkaido, so I had
to share my plan with him. He wouldn't have agreed, I know, if Miki's
parents and Yuu's weren't living together. I know this because he was
always tense when acting, and I could feel the guilt in his voice. When
time after he called me to say he had confessed up, I felt betrayed and
took a good yelling at him over the phone. How would I look at Yuu's
face, after that? But he calmly told me he preffered being able to be at
ease around her, and then hung up.
The plan was to feign we were dating, and we didn't lose time: we
started right there, at Hokkaido. Ginta thought I'd have some benefit
with the plan, too, but he was wrong. If I could have brought Miki and
Ginta together again, Yuu would've slipped through my hands into the
arms of some other girl like Miki. I just thought about getting Yuu to
like me, or, in the mean time, get any girls away from Yuu. Unfair? Yes.
It was a hard time trying to do the couple with Ginta, because he was so
tense he was uncapable of being any natural. I didn't think Yuu believed
it, but Miki did, and that's good enough. If Ginta's unnaturalness
hadn't been paired to Miki's naiveness, there would have been no hope.
Whenever I would say something to Ginta, he'd flush or answer in a
mumble. I had it really difficult, because I'm of the ones who tense
around tense people.
By the end of the trip to Hokkaido, Miki was visibly tense, for she kept
stealing glances at Ginta. But the war was not over...
Ginta called me to tell me Yuu had "volunteered" Miki to help him at
work, so we appeared there, arm in arm, and, again, Ginta tense as if
walking over a rope. Yuu worked (works) at the Junk Jungle, a second
hand clothes store. The thing would've worked out, still, but when all
was going as planned... Rokutanda.
I can't stand the guy, I swear it. Appearing right in the middle of the
crowd, yelling for Ginta. He was pretty fed up, too. But we didn't have
anything to loose, so we confronted him. Something we regretted after,
when the jerk began airing tales about Ginta's childhood, and me, poor
Arimi, almost died in embarrassement. Ginta got really upset and no
wonder. He was all fired up, and things would have ended badly if
Kijima-san, the owner of the store, hadn't been "creative" about the
situation at hand.
He challenged Yuu, Ginta and Rokutanda to a sales contest: the sales
would decide the winner. It was clear right from the start that Yuu was
to be the winner, due to his experience and the fact that almost all the
customers were girls, but I prayed for Ginta to be the second, and all
in one, for Rokutanda to crop his hair even more. :-) Surprisingly, he
just lost by a shirt of difference.
I have to ask Ginta about these tales about his childhood. :-) I bet
they're true. :-P
Well, the decisive point came by Yuu's birthday. Altough I didn't know
until Ginta told me that night at Izu. Miki and Yuu's parents were on a
trip, and they were alone in the house. He quit temporaly from the Junk
Jungle in order to don't let Miki alone so much time, and I wasn't going
to consent having them all alone. So, I phoned Ginta, but knowing him, I
kept from telling him about their parents (to no avail, because it was
the first thing Miki told him. U_U )
I still remember the short trip in the train. Somber face, and not
paying attention at all. As he would tell me time after at Izu, he was
already getting sick of the situation. Before the "incident" (what
incident?) at least he could speak with her in a friendly manner. Sometimes
he would ask me about giving up the plan, wich I refused openly to do
(is he too honest or too weak?).
I said he was getting sick of it? So was I.
Coming back to the time line, I have to say I found it a rather
misterious evening. We aborted their private party, but found out
Rokutanda had followed us, and thinking there was a party going on he
bought a bottle of champagne and got in the middle. How can anyone be
so... Let's leave the subject.
Anyway, the party ends, Miki suggests playing cards and goes to fetch
them, Ginta following behind. Short after, Ginta comes down the stairs,
and leaves without a word. I felt really bad. Weren't we supposed to be
in a date? So, I apologize and leave, too, Rokutanda doing so after me.
I found him at the train station, looking pretty down. I was ready to
speak him a piece of my mind, but between his mood, and Rokutanda being
there, I quit from doing so.
Later he would tell me he had given her an ultimatum, because he could
not wait anymore. In the meaning time, seems they both had got a deal,
because I found him cheering her up at Sakaki's tennis court, without
having been told at all.
The next thing I heard about him was when he phoned me to tell me he had
confessed up our plan. I felt SO bad about that. How would I face Yuu
afterwards? But having been discovered, the only thing I could do was to
step out gracefully. So I waited for Miki, and apologized. She didn't
buy it very well, and I am to blame. I was too jealous, so it sounded
kind of forced. I had been defeated, and I don't take these very well.
I'm sorry, Miki.
I accused her of being hurting both Yuu and Ginta with her ambivalent
feelings. I can't help but think the only one I saw hurt was Ginta, not
Yuu.
I was so messed up that I simply ran away after that. I saw Yuu when I
was heading for the main gate of Toryo, and did such an scene I don't
even want to write about it. I can say, tough, I got the most empathic
response I've ever got from Yuu. We got out of Toryo, and headed for a
nearly park. He tried to calm me, and waited until I stopped crying. It
was late, so he offered to escort me home, but I refused. I didn't want
him to see me like that...
Later Ginta would tell me he and Miki had made up, and were friends
again after that. Still, according to Ginta, he had felt how since then,
he had began to lose her slowly. He noticed how she didn't pay him any
more attention than to any other friend of hers, and how she was slowly
more and more around Yuu; he understood she had made her choice, but
still refused to lose all hope. But he felt really bad when he saw them
together, along with Miwa and Meiko, at that movie. He even waited for
Miwa to get out, before standing and leaving. (Did Miwa know he was
there? Because he stayed annoyingly until the last credits, Ginta told
me!) :-)
Since then, I limited myself to show from time to time around Junk
Jungle to see Yuu, but to no avail. Something happened with Meiko,
Miki's best friend, because the trip they did to the Carillion farm was
supposed to be for livening her up a little. I don't know anything about
the particular, tough. I can say Meiko seemed pretty spaced out, and
a bit depressed, too.
Carillion was my last shot, the last attempt in trying to get Yuu to
like me, and I recognize it myself it was kind of forced. Trying to be
more like Miki, when internally I was already almost exhausted and
hopeless. I remember Miki brought food for almost a whole famelic combat
squad. :-)
Yuu let me do as I wanted, but I didn't accomplish anything. Meiko's hat
flew away with the wind, and Miki, in trying to take it back, got
attacked by one of the horses. The boys quickly got in to help her, but
if it hadn't been for Yuu, she would have sustained serious, if not
lethal injuries. I got really shocked at this. I had never seen Yuu so
concerned about anybody, so personally implied, so... emotional.
My fake bubbliness faded away instantaneously, and seeds of depression
took it's place. Ginta seemed to feel something alike, too, for after
the afternoon meal he excused himself to fetch a drink, and disappeared
by almost an hour. I saw him sitting under a tree in a quiet place
near the lake, while I was looking for the toilet. When he was back,
he was the same Ginta we all know.
I didn't show myself anymore around the Junk Jungle, and I began
attending the club meetings. I could use some running...
I didn't have any more news of them until Izu. There was when I met Miwa,
too. He seems to me too much of a Playboy; no wonder Meiko rejects him
constantly.
Well, my "fan club" had decided they would go to Izu, and Murai dragged
me along to enlighten me up a little. You already know Murai, he
doesn't accept a no as an answer. Unfortunately, Rokutanda heard about
it, and he appeared that morning at the train station, duffel bag
included. I think someone is trading info with him about me, and I'm
beginning to suspect is Nabiki. The fool keeps on thinking I'll end up
going out with some of them, even though he does know they all have
girlfriends in other schools.
It was strange. I just wanted to say them hi and all, but Miki was
running away from Yuu. They seemed so tense, I couldn't help but play a
joke with them... Well, there was some ressentment inside me, too, so I
didn't mind if I could get the same reaction from her as when I did it
with Ginta, at Hokkaido. Still, the problem must had been serious,
because she didn't react at all. Rokutanda materialized, and I decided
to leave them alone.
Later, when me I my friends were again on our own, Miwa came and
suggested us to play a game with them at night. He wasn't very explicit
about what he was talking about, but still he got us to accept attending
at midnight. He does know how to convince people, that's for sure.
Then, we join them, and Miwa talks us into doing a little exploration
game, in couples. The couples would be elected by taking cards out. I
suspected he was up to something, but didn't know what. "Coincidentally"
every boy got matched with a girl, except Rokutanda and Sanosuke (that's
for fighting :-). I supposed he wanted Yuu and Miki to patch things up;
now I can tell he didn't end up with Meiko by coincidence, neither.
I was paired with Ginta. I felt a little shy, because we hadn't talked
since our trip to Carillon. He thought I was still chasing Yuu, no
wonder. He understood me when I said I was finally letting go. He
hadn't very much hopes, neither. There was a long silence after that. We
got a little nervous, and began talking about anything. Any silly thing,
that is. :-)
But eventually got used to the company, and he apologized for confessing
things up and putting me in evidence. I was angry at that time, and
didn't mean at all all the things I ranted him on the phone. I'm sorry,
Ginta...
After that, he explained some dark points to me, about the past events,
like the time he had left Miki's house without a word, and like that.
When we accomplished the target of the game, we returned to the starting
point. There were Rokutanda, Murai and Imai's teams. Rokutanda, of
course, began another shouting session with the poor Ginta, who, let's
be clear, didn't kept himself short, neither.
Of course, the last groups remaining were Yuu and Miwa's. I'm sure Miwa
wouldn't have minded the target to be finding Atlantis. :-) Yuu and Miki
were the last ones. While they were again comfortable around each other,
Miki was spaced out, and Yuu a bit nervous. When Miwa dragged us to the
pizzas, they didn't say a thing. I asked Ginta recently about this, but
he didn't know anything, neither.
So, the trip was over, and we got back together to our city. Miki was
still spaced out so I tried to do small talk with her. Little by little,
she overcame her shyness, and we had a good trip back. Nice girl, this
Miki. At first, she was a little reluctant, thinking I would be up to
something still, but we got along very well.
Then, all of a sudden, I pick up the phone one day and, you know who?
Yuu himself. He wanted to see me. "I think we have to talk" he told me.
So, I thought, they're finally going out.
We met at a nice coffee shop, and Yuu invited me. He told me he and Miki
had finally spoke about their feelings about each other. I couldn't help
but be surprised. This embarrased him a little, but if you did knew Yuu,
you'd be surprised, too. He's not cold, but he did never spoke about
himself along the time we were going out. I couldn't help but feel happy
about him. At last, he had found someone with wich he could be open. I
was sad that that someone hadn't been me, but I was glad anyways.
We said goodbye to each other with a hug, and our ways separated. I felt
like crying along all the way to my house, but you don't know how
stubborn I can get in not showing any weakness.
Buf, my hand is getting sore. I will continue tomorrow.
:-) :-( :-P :-O :-/ (-_-) O_o
Well, where was I? Yes, the goodbyes with Yuu. Well. There isn't very
much after this. Mostly, my encounter with Ginta at his match... with
Rokutanda, of course... These two must have been the hell of mortal
enemies in some past existence... :-)
I found him near the drink machines. He really seemed allright. As if
nothing had happened, you could say. Not as me, you could say, too.
Yuu hadn't chosen me, and I couldn't help but feel bad with myself.
Ginta told me he had felt relieved of having things clear, and I
certainly simpathyze with him. When there seems to be still any hope,
we cling to it. "I still feel envious, when I see them, though." Well,
and who would not?. Rokutanda assaulted us again... I saw Miki. I was a
little rude, excusing me quickly and leaving, but I still didn't feel
like seeing her at all. I'm sorry, Miki... U_U So, Ginta went to play
his match and I went to do some running, and that was all for the day.
I saw them again two weeks later. At Sakaki they were repainting the
shower rooms, so that day we hadn't club meeting. Murai and me stepped
across each other, and we went to our favourite coffee shop. He was
concerned about how was I handling the blues and all. When we got out I
saw them: Ginta and Miki, coming out of a store. I did as if I hadn't
seen them; I was still unready to face Miki. Ginta... Oh, I won't tell
you yet... It's so funny, ha ha :-)
I was in the tracks, when suddenly Ginta shows up, with a good bruise,
by the way. He told me to don't go out with that guy anymore; that he
had seen him with another girl; that I didn't deserve that, and
something more. I didn't know what to do about all that, really. I felt
as if I had fell all of a sudden in a foreign country.
I asked him to slow down, and he told me Murai was going out with
another girl. Great news, isn't it? :-)
Ginta had seen us coming out from the coffee shop, and thought we were
dating. Later, he saw him again with Emily, and struck a fist at him
right there. Incredible.
He felt utterly embarrassed when I told him the truth... I was a little
harsh at first, maybe. "Are you silly?" I asked him. Well, I don't
expect people to think I date every friend who comes with me to a coffee
shop.
Ah, shut up you liar! Who are you trying to fool? You think someone else
will read all this? I hope not, so, here we go.
In fact, there were more joy than embarrassment. I suppose
that all that time trying to get Yuu's attention had left me in a poor
self-steem level. The truth is, I had to supress a really wide smile,
just to don't seem too evident. I can take care of myself, but I'm not
to refuse protection from others. I can say honestly I was flattered to
see there was someone who cared about me.
So, the problem was how to take the thing further without scaring
Ginta, because I knew I'd be with a foot on my grave if I waited for him
just to show up and ask me out. If he liked me all along, he could
have asked me out, let's say, when we met at Sakaki at the training
fields.
I don't pretend to be arrogant. I know what's shyness, too. It's very
easy to speak. I suppose that the anger pumped up by the Murai incident
helped him to overcome his fear that I would know about his feelings...
So, I had to insist Ginta to come over to Murai's house that weekend and
apollogize *personally*, something utterly unnecessary, for Murai had
already taken his revenge, and in fact I had to call him to attend the
meeting. "He's told me he wants to apollogize personally, but he
doesn't want me to tell you it's been his idea, too." Gee, Arimi,
sometimes I think YOU should have written "The Art of War", not Sun Bin.
But it was worth the lie, really. We met near my house and headed to
Murai's. It was a quick matter, and, again, rather unnecessary, but it
left us almost all the evening to take a stroll back and me to leave the
things "unspoken".
We call each other, from time to time, and sometimes, if I get to avoid
Rokutanda's stalking we met at the coffee shop I dragged him to that
first time. :-)
Today at morning, he was waiting to see me before class. He's invited me
to the Toryo Anual Festival, at Sunday, and I'm really looking forward
to it. :-P
I cannot help but laugh a bit when I see all the troubles he takes to
show his feelings and that he cares about me, but I see myself in him,
when I took care of the most meaningless details in order to have Yuu's
affections.
Well, A-chan. Restarting all over again!
It's like the old chinesse love poem:
The water that flows
Wants to do it with flowers on top.
It's futile to try to stop the flowing water
And futile to try to stop the flowers on top of it.
Just as good things can be lost, bad things can be forgotten.
THE END
----------------
Well, what do you think?
I'd like there was more people writing fics about Ginta and Arimi.
Why always Yuu and Miki??? G and A are my fauvorites.
Ah, just by formality: MB is not of my property.
It's owned by Wataru Yoshizumi.
If I had written it, I would:
-Put Yuu under psychiatric treatment.
-Hire a babysitter for Miki
-Make Ginta and Arimi be te star roles.
-Put Suzu in a wheelchair
-Make Kei be a music genius killed by the drugs
-Involve Na-chan in some car accident
-And finally, Yuu and Miki's parents: None of them would be
working. Yuu and Miki would support all the family with
their part-time jobs. They would live squatting in a
house not of their property. They would sleep all four
together, smoke marihuana, have hippie voices and sing
"let it beee, let it beee...!"
That's for the anime, of course, for I respect the manga very much.
I hope you review the fic, no my "little oppinion." ]:-)
Togusa
a MB fanfiction.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Hello, my little diary.
It's been a while , hasn't it? I stopped writing short after my break
up with Yuu after the three months trial. I did write some pages, but
short after I tore them out. It was such a dramatic change... The
oh-so-bubbly-so-happy ones, and then, all of a sudden, pages and pages
filled with tears and sour feelings.
Deep inside I know why I did it. It's as if I wanted to keep in these
pages only pleasant memories, and my tendency to don't show any weakness
has a good piece of blame, too. As I write this, it comes to my mind
the scene at the park with Yuu. I didn't like to have to run away, but
it was way better than having to show my tears to anybody, even Yuu. But
it's been too long, and it's been an eventful year, so I want to write
it all, now that the storm it's over...
It's Wednesday evening. I didn't attend the club meeting, so I have
plenty of time to write it all from the very beginning, and that's what
I'll do...
I knew about Yuu short after the beginning of the last year at my old
school. It's hard for someone like him to go unnoticed, so he was a
constant subject among the girls. His eyes, his face, his blonde hair...
and his coldness, altough it seems I was the only girl who could
perceive that.
I was rather surprised that no other girl saw this while drooling around
him, but showering dreamy-eyed girls with cold water it's not among my
fauvorite hobbies. I know that, too. The hope to find someone perfect
can make you see only what you want to see.
Oh my, Arimi, what are you doing? Look at what you're writing. Some
pains and ressentments remaining, hm? Well, it's okay, as long as I
don't get carried away with it...
As I was writing, you could say that after moving to the area and
joining the school, the first I got to know was about Yuu... And about
Rokutanda, who "coincidentally" had changed school, altough he was now
forty minutes from his home.
I didn't care very much about him, at first. I joined the athletism
club, and there I met enough guys to care about. I count myself among
the ones who like being paid attention, I admit it myself. I had a lot
of admirers, but just that, admirers. I didn't let anyone go further
than that.
Altough liking attention, I'm the exclussive type. I like being the one
and only, I need to see crystal-clear that I'm loved. Altough they did
almost everything possible to get me to like them, I was wise enough to
see they weren't really interested in ME. They didn't act from the
heart, because none cared about how I did feel about them. I was more of
a trophy for their egos than anything else. I mean... if you do really
care about me, and I say that I'm not interested, why do you keep
pushing? Don't you care if I feel pressed? Don't you care about my
feelings? That's what I mean. Rokutanda falls into that category, too.
Maybe getting to know Ginta while he was in love with someone else did
help with that. At the beginning, I was a little reluctant to be friends
with him, after seeing Miki getting away from him after class, that
day. But he's an ok guy. I don't know about that subject in particular,
but while we were doing the false couple game, I could see he wasn't
another Rokutanda (altough being cousins; small world!). He was always
with Miki on his mind, and even almost didn't talk about anything else.
I can remember walking along with him, while going to another "seek and
destroy" mission to press Miki, or in the train. Always silent. My
attempts to make small talk to pass the time only would get monosyllabes
as answers. But I was ok with that. Putting the false smile wears me
out.
Oh, my, I'm ranting about Ginta, and I haven't even started with Yuu.
Well, I think that means something, doesn't it? ;-)
Back with Yuu, I didn't get to know him until the Furinkan School (ours)
Sports Day Festival. Our school was a small one, and we had to schedule
events, unless we wanted runners jumping over the net, that is.
So I, as the athletism club's representative, go to have a talk with the
tennis club's: Yuu.
We started planning, and he, with some jokes and that magic smile of
his, began to catch my attention more than the planning task. I realized
then how wrong I was to consider him innerly cold. He wasn't, not at
all. It's as if there were three layers of Yuu. Externally, it was the
Yuu everybody saw, the kind Yuu, the one with the good brains, the good
character and the athletic body. Behind that layer, was the not-so-kind
Yuu, the distant Yuu. Diving into him could take you to this second
layer, distant, lonely and unconcerned. Coming from the first, this
layer could easily scare you, and make you preffer stay in the first,
but I'm not so easy to scare. I had the intuition of an even deeper
layer, in his jokes, in his eyes... Always as if something wanted to get
out and some safety net contained it, and simultaneously a locked door
hiding it all, with a smile painted on it.
So, he was a great guy by himself: athletic, good looks, good brains.
Me, I'm a strange mix of realist and romantic, and my romantic side
sparked at the notion of being the one who could get that "something"
free from the net and out of the door. Add to it being tired of my
"admirers" and voila, you got the spell.
Seeing it from the distance, the Yuu I see now it's not very different
to the Yuu I knew. The door and the net are there, but... I suppose the
spell is Miki herself. A bit naive, but good girl. Enthusiastic,
energetic, cheerful... A thousand ways to describe her. Still, I'm a
little worried about Yuu. On our "last date" he told me he was tired of
being like that, and willing to change, but... will it be so easy?
While our trip to the Carillion Farm, I had the impression Miki did the
perfect excuse for him to behave child-like, Miki being a little
childish herself, but... is it good to depend on, to need an excuse? I
cannot help but wonder if having an excuse, someone doing the work for
him, can stop him of trying to understand and dismount his defense
mechanisms. I hope not.
Where was I? I keep on advancing events, jumping in and out of the
timeline...
Ah, the Festival. By the end of our meeting I knew I had fallen in love
with him. I didn't keep drooling around him, my responsabilities kept me
from that, and what's more, Rokutanda spotted us and began his trademark
yelling show. Since then, I began to see with other eyes all the girls
who did talk about him; I even began participing in some of these talks.
But it wasn't going to be easy. I got to know he had refused every girl
who had ever asked him to be his girlfriend, some of them twice. I got
very depressed, because I knew every cute girl had asked him, and I was
really far from being the top girl in the school. Not that I'm
unconfident about my looks, tough. :-)
A boy from the athletism club, who I had rejected some time ago, gave me
the support I needed then. Maybe he was the only one I've ever rejected
who deserved a chance, afterall. He quit pressing as soon as we talked
heart to heart, but we remained good friends thereafter. Inwardly, I
knew he kept some hope, and that he was waiting for a better chance, but
I was already focused on Yuu. Atsumu told me he had talked with him from
time to time, and knew he had rejected mostly dreamy-eyed, fearful girls
easily, having some more trouble to do so with determined ones. But he
had rejected all of them, anyways. So I had a little problem: not too
pushy, not too soft.
When we stood away from the crowd, facing each other, I knew by his
calmness that he would have a response for every possible way I could
ask him out, given his torough "preparation" so I had to be creative,
to find an untrodden path... And I did.
At first, he was so surprised he couldn't even speak. But he could react
anytime, so I played my last card: determination. He found it so funny
he accepted, and I was extatic with joy.
Then followed the three most colorful months of my life until the
moment. We called each other, went out bowling, shopping, to the movies,
and so on. I was really really excited, but I couldn't say the same
about Yuu.
It was a strange game we played. I can say this looking now from the
distance. I was really excited. Yuu was happy, too, but to a different
level than mine. I wanted to talk to him every moment of the day, about
anything. I was crazy for him. He was happy, but very, VERY calm. I'm
sure he enjoyed these three months, but still...
I would talk to him excitedly about anything, then he would answer me
happily too, but calmly. VERY calmly. And then, my energy would suddenly
drop, putting me at his own level. Then finally, I'd remember how happy
I was to have him there, feeling extatic again, and then we would start
again.
Everytime he answered my excitedness with his calmness, I would think
he didn't find it that funny, and feel a strange feeling of guilt. It
wasn't very important, as long as I could shove aside or ignore the
feeling. But there came a moment when I couldn't ignore it anymore. I
felt automatically drawn to his level of energy. I was afraid he
could think badly about me if I did, for he never joined me in my joy.
I was starting to get a bit depressive about the subject, but I decided
to go on, and keep on trying to get Yuu to open his heart to me. And
then, determined, I go to the park where we used to meet. I didn't knew
how many time had passed, so it fell over me like a rock.
The time was over, and Yuu, as he had thought before the start, couldn't
see me as anything more than a friend. I felt... betrayed. I had given
my very best, day after day. I had even hidden the depressive feelings I
was having because of his calmness, or better said, inner indifference.
A lot of things passed through my mind in that moment. In part, I felt
betrayed. In part, relieved. But I loved him very much, still, and the
perspective of losing him forever pierced my heart side to side.
As later I would tell Ginta, there was too my hurt pride. You want
someone, someone who you consider "good", and he doesn't want you. You
can't help but think YOU are wrong, fundamentally wrong, wrong at a very
basic level. That's what got the better of me and made me turn and run
away. He grabbed my arm, but after yelling some harsh words at him I
left, nonetheless. Things I didn't mean at all, but my pride when hurt
mades me do things alike. I'm sorry, Yuu...
I told him he would never be able to love any girl, but I was wrong.
There was that photo from his childhood in his room, that of him and
the pigtailed girl, fishing and laughing, as proof of a different Yuu,
hidden sowhere in his heart. But I wasn't able to bring him out.
The months that followed were pure hell for me. The tears would come to
me by nothing. I used to skip classes, too; nothing interested me. I
knew running would liven me up, but strangely that's what I didn't want
to happen. Atsumu was very worried, and Rokutanda too (he's not that
bad, after all), and all my friends. I tried to push Yuu out of my mind,
but the more I did, the more I'd think about him.
Finally, we separated when we had to enter high school. He entered
Yokohama, and I deliberatedly chose Sakaki, so I wouldn't see
him anymore. I'd like to be able to say the same about Rokutanda, but
again "coincidentally" went to fall into Sakaki. But altough being far
away, Yuu's memories didn't stop of running through my mind.
I even accepted going out with Gendo, thinking it would help, but I was
wrong. Firstly, he wasn't the right choice. Nothing wrong with Gendo,
but he's not my type, too proud and dominant. I heard he's dating Yui,
now. Secondly, it wasn't the right medecine. I was too inmersed in
self-pity, and I was always comparing with Yuu. I thought over and over
that none could replace Yuu, and so, none could.
Then, when Gendo took me to WonderDog on our third and last date, I saw
Yuu again. I met Miki, too. I thought she wouldn't be a rival to me, but
I was wrong. Again, I was ignoring the Yuu factor.
I was REALLY amazed when Yuu told me his parents' crazy project. I still
dunno how is their children aren't young delictives... Go for a trip,
meet another couple, divorce and switch partners. Oh, and to don't
divide the children... let's live all together! I thought this only
would happen in anime. @_@U
I started to call him from time to time, and to skip my last classes to
be able to wait for him outside Toryo. But he was his usual kind and
distant self.
How funny, this Miki... One day, she suddenly grabs me and pulls me
along with her. He told me she'd just argued with Ginta, and didn't
want to see him at the moment, but I didn't buy it (another Rokutanda?).
Then came the Annual Toryo's Festival. Miki wasn't very glad to see me
around but that was ok with me. Strange fate, Ginta and Yuu had paired
to face Rokutanda at the match. Miki and Ginta argued and that's what
got the better of him along half of the match. So simpleminded, this
Ginta. But again, it showed how much he cared about her. Yuu was doing
right, but Ginta was disconnected. I rushed out to look for Miki, before
they would lose and get Yuu a nasty haircut (Ginta's idea; Miki told me
this was the only punishment he seems to be able to think of, god knows
what did she mean with that...)
But after a few words from Miki, Ginta got it over, and he smashed five
straight games to Rokutanda, some sets just serving. I must recognize I
was impressed. Time after, Rokutanda appeared with a cropped hair in the
class. I was the only one to laugh, though, because it fitted him so well
that most of the people thought he just decided to do so...
I thought that if I could bring Miki and Ginta together again, Yuu could
be mine again. Foolish, but that's what I thougt. More than this, I do
realize now that what I didn't want was another girl being able to have
Yuu's love. I'd feel humilliated, compared. That's unfair for Yuu, the
Yuu who supposedly I loved so much, but you can't give up these things
that easily...
So I wait for Ginta and carry him away with me, to everybody's surprise.
"I was waiting for you, Suou-kun. I couldn't help but being impressed
seeing you playing". Oh, my, poor Ginta. He just freezed and I dragged
him along... Ha ha. He told me a few days ago from today, over the
phone, that he doesn't know how to refuse a girl, and I said "yes, it's
true." I'd have payed to be able to see his face at the moment.
After the match I brought him to a coffee shop. We didn't say much, he
was terribly embarrassed, and I was ok with that. Someone more used to
deal with these things would have put me things more difficult. My plan
was to get Miki jealous of me, and then have her back with Ginta. But I
didn't know if he'd consent this, so I just pushed him along. However,
he's not a puppet neither, and he made things clear at Hokkaido, so I had
to share my plan with him. He wouldn't have agreed, I know, if Miki's
parents and Yuu's weren't living together. I know this because he was
always tense when acting, and I could feel the guilt in his voice. When
time after he called me to say he had confessed up, I felt betrayed and
took a good yelling at him over the phone. How would I look at Yuu's
face, after that? But he calmly told me he preffered being able to be at
ease around her, and then hung up.
The plan was to feign we were dating, and we didn't lose time: we
started right there, at Hokkaido. Ginta thought I'd have some benefit
with the plan, too, but he was wrong. If I could have brought Miki and
Ginta together again, Yuu would've slipped through my hands into the
arms of some other girl like Miki. I just thought about getting Yuu to
like me, or, in the mean time, get any girls away from Yuu. Unfair? Yes.
It was a hard time trying to do the couple with Ginta, because he was so
tense he was uncapable of being any natural. I didn't think Yuu believed
it, but Miki did, and that's good enough. If Ginta's unnaturalness
hadn't been paired to Miki's naiveness, there would have been no hope.
Whenever I would say something to Ginta, he'd flush or answer in a
mumble. I had it really difficult, because I'm of the ones who tense
around tense people.
By the end of the trip to Hokkaido, Miki was visibly tense, for she kept
stealing glances at Ginta. But the war was not over...
Ginta called me to tell me Yuu had "volunteered" Miki to help him at
work, so we appeared there, arm in arm, and, again, Ginta tense as if
walking over a rope. Yuu worked (works) at the Junk Jungle, a second
hand clothes store. The thing would've worked out, still, but when all
was going as planned... Rokutanda.
I can't stand the guy, I swear it. Appearing right in the middle of the
crowd, yelling for Ginta. He was pretty fed up, too. But we didn't have
anything to loose, so we confronted him. Something we regretted after,
when the jerk began airing tales about Ginta's childhood, and me, poor
Arimi, almost died in embarrassement. Ginta got really upset and no
wonder. He was all fired up, and things would have ended badly if
Kijima-san, the owner of the store, hadn't been "creative" about the
situation at hand.
He challenged Yuu, Ginta and Rokutanda to a sales contest: the sales
would decide the winner. It was clear right from the start that Yuu was
to be the winner, due to his experience and the fact that almost all the
customers were girls, but I prayed for Ginta to be the second, and all
in one, for Rokutanda to crop his hair even more. :-) Surprisingly, he
just lost by a shirt of difference.
I have to ask Ginta about these tales about his childhood. :-) I bet
they're true. :-P
Well, the decisive point came by Yuu's birthday. Altough I didn't know
until Ginta told me that night at Izu. Miki and Yuu's parents were on a
trip, and they were alone in the house. He quit temporaly from the Junk
Jungle in order to don't let Miki alone so much time, and I wasn't going
to consent having them all alone. So, I phoned Ginta, but knowing him, I
kept from telling him about their parents (to no avail, because it was
the first thing Miki told him. U_U )
I still remember the short trip in the train. Somber face, and not
paying attention at all. As he would tell me time after at Izu, he was
already getting sick of the situation. Before the "incident" (what
incident?) at least he could speak with her in a friendly manner. Sometimes
he would ask me about giving up the plan, wich I refused openly to do
(is he too honest or too weak?).
I said he was getting sick of it? So was I.
Coming back to the time line, I have to say I found it a rather
misterious evening. We aborted their private party, but found out
Rokutanda had followed us, and thinking there was a party going on he
bought a bottle of champagne and got in the middle. How can anyone be
so... Let's leave the subject.
Anyway, the party ends, Miki suggests playing cards and goes to fetch
them, Ginta following behind. Short after, Ginta comes down the stairs,
and leaves without a word. I felt really bad. Weren't we supposed to be
in a date? So, I apologize and leave, too, Rokutanda doing so after me.
I found him at the train station, looking pretty down. I was ready to
speak him a piece of my mind, but between his mood, and Rokutanda being
there, I quit from doing so.
Later he would tell me he had given her an ultimatum, because he could
not wait anymore. In the meaning time, seems they both had got a deal,
because I found him cheering her up at Sakaki's tennis court, without
having been told at all.
The next thing I heard about him was when he phoned me to tell me he had
confessed up our plan. I felt SO bad about that. How would I face Yuu
afterwards? But having been discovered, the only thing I could do was to
step out gracefully. So I waited for Miki, and apologized. She didn't
buy it very well, and I am to blame. I was too jealous, so it sounded
kind of forced. I had been defeated, and I don't take these very well.
I'm sorry, Miki.
I accused her of being hurting both Yuu and Ginta with her ambivalent
feelings. I can't help but think the only one I saw hurt was Ginta, not
Yuu.
I was so messed up that I simply ran away after that. I saw Yuu when I
was heading for the main gate of Toryo, and did such an scene I don't
even want to write about it. I can say, tough, I got the most empathic
response I've ever got from Yuu. We got out of Toryo, and headed for a
nearly park. He tried to calm me, and waited until I stopped crying. It
was late, so he offered to escort me home, but I refused. I didn't want
him to see me like that...
Later Ginta would tell me he and Miki had made up, and were friends
again after that. Still, according to Ginta, he had felt how since then,
he had began to lose her slowly. He noticed how she didn't pay him any
more attention than to any other friend of hers, and how she was slowly
more and more around Yuu; he understood she had made her choice, but
still refused to lose all hope. But he felt really bad when he saw them
together, along with Miwa and Meiko, at that movie. He even waited for
Miwa to get out, before standing and leaving. (Did Miwa know he was
there? Because he stayed annoyingly until the last credits, Ginta told
me!) :-)
Since then, I limited myself to show from time to time around Junk
Jungle to see Yuu, but to no avail. Something happened with Meiko,
Miki's best friend, because the trip they did to the Carillion farm was
supposed to be for livening her up a little. I don't know anything about
the particular, tough. I can say Meiko seemed pretty spaced out, and
a bit depressed, too.
Carillion was my last shot, the last attempt in trying to get Yuu to
like me, and I recognize it myself it was kind of forced. Trying to be
more like Miki, when internally I was already almost exhausted and
hopeless. I remember Miki brought food for almost a whole famelic combat
squad. :-)
Yuu let me do as I wanted, but I didn't accomplish anything. Meiko's hat
flew away with the wind, and Miki, in trying to take it back, got
attacked by one of the horses. The boys quickly got in to help her, but
if it hadn't been for Yuu, she would have sustained serious, if not
lethal injuries. I got really shocked at this. I had never seen Yuu so
concerned about anybody, so personally implied, so... emotional.
My fake bubbliness faded away instantaneously, and seeds of depression
took it's place. Ginta seemed to feel something alike, too, for after
the afternoon meal he excused himself to fetch a drink, and disappeared
by almost an hour. I saw him sitting under a tree in a quiet place
near the lake, while I was looking for the toilet. When he was back,
he was the same Ginta we all know.
I didn't show myself anymore around the Junk Jungle, and I began
attending the club meetings. I could use some running...
I didn't have any more news of them until Izu. There was when I met Miwa,
too. He seems to me too much of a Playboy; no wonder Meiko rejects him
constantly.
Well, my "fan club" had decided they would go to Izu, and Murai dragged
me along to enlighten me up a little. You already know Murai, he
doesn't accept a no as an answer. Unfortunately, Rokutanda heard about
it, and he appeared that morning at the train station, duffel bag
included. I think someone is trading info with him about me, and I'm
beginning to suspect is Nabiki. The fool keeps on thinking I'll end up
going out with some of them, even though he does know they all have
girlfriends in other schools.
It was strange. I just wanted to say them hi and all, but Miki was
running away from Yuu. They seemed so tense, I couldn't help but play a
joke with them... Well, there was some ressentment inside me, too, so I
didn't mind if I could get the same reaction from her as when I did it
with Ginta, at Hokkaido. Still, the problem must had been serious,
because she didn't react at all. Rokutanda materialized, and I decided
to leave them alone.
Later, when me I my friends were again on our own, Miwa came and
suggested us to play a game with them at night. He wasn't very explicit
about what he was talking about, but still he got us to accept attending
at midnight. He does know how to convince people, that's for sure.
Then, we join them, and Miwa talks us into doing a little exploration
game, in couples. The couples would be elected by taking cards out. I
suspected he was up to something, but didn't know what. "Coincidentally"
every boy got matched with a girl, except Rokutanda and Sanosuke (that's
for fighting :-). I supposed he wanted Yuu and Miki to patch things up;
now I can tell he didn't end up with Meiko by coincidence, neither.
I was paired with Ginta. I felt a little shy, because we hadn't talked
since our trip to Carillon. He thought I was still chasing Yuu, no
wonder. He understood me when I said I was finally letting go. He
hadn't very much hopes, neither. There was a long silence after that. We
got a little nervous, and began talking about anything. Any silly thing,
that is. :-)
But eventually got used to the company, and he apologized for confessing
things up and putting me in evidence. I was angry at that time, and
didn't mean at all all the things I ranted him on the phone. I'm sorry,
Ginta...
After that, he explained some dark points to me, about the past events,
like the time he had left Miki's house without a word, and like that.
When we accomplished the target of the game, we returned to the starting
point. There were Rokutanda, Murai and Imai's teams. Rokutanda, of
course, began another shouting session with the poor Ginta, who, let's
be clear, didn't kept himself short, neither.
Of course, the last groups remaining were Yuu and Miwa's. I'm sure Miwa
wouldn't have minded the target to be finding Atlantis. :-) Yuu and Miki
were the last ones. While they were again comfortable around each other,
Miki was spaced out, and Yuu a bit nervous. When Miwa dragged us to the
pizzas, they didn't say a thing. I asked Ginta recently about this, but
he didn't know anything, neither.
So, the trip was over, and we got back together to our city. Miki was
still spaced out so I tried to do small talk with her. Little by little,
she overcame her shyness, and we had a good trip back. Nice girl, this
Miki. At first, she was a little reluctant, thinking I would be up to
something still, but we got along very well.
Then, all of a sudden, I pick up the phone one day and, you know who?
Yuu himself. He wanted to see me. "I think we have to talk" he told me.
So, I thought, they're finally going out.
We met at a nice coffee shop, and Yuu invited me. He told me he and Miki
had finally spoke about their feelings about each other. I couldn't help
but be surprised. This embarrased him a little, but if you did knew Yuu,
you'd be surprised, too. He's not cold, but he did never spoke about
himself along the time we were going out. I couldn't help but feel happy
about him. At last, he had found someone with wich he could be open. I
was sad that that someone hadn't been me, but I was glad anyways.
We said goodbye to each other with a hug, and our ways separated. I felt
like crying along all the way to my house, but you don't know how
stubborn I can get in not showing any weakness.
Buf, my hand is getting sore. I will continue tomorrow.
:-) :-( :-P :-O :-/ (-_-) O_o
Well, where was I? Yes, the goodbyes with Yuu. Well. There isn't very
much after this. Mostly, my encounter with Ginta at his match... with
Rokutanda, of course... These two must have been the hell of mortal
enemies in some past existence... :-)
I found him near the drink machines. He really seemed allright. As if
nothing had happened, you could say. Not as me, you could say, too.
Yuu hadn't chosen me, and I couldn't help but feel bad with myself.
Ginta told me he had felt relieved of having things clear, and I
certainly simpathyze with him. When there seems to be still any hope,
we cling to it. "I still feel envious, when I see them, though." Well,
and who would not?. Rokutanda assaulted us again... I saw Miki. I was a
little rude, excusing me quickly and leaving, but I still didn't feel
like seeing her at all. I'm sorry, Miki... U_U So, Ginta went to play
his match and I went to do some running, and that was all for the day.
I saw them again two weeks later. At Sakaki they were repainting the
shower rooms, so that day we hadn't club meeting. Murai and me stepped
across each other, and we went to our favourite coffee shop. He was
concerned about how was I handling the blues and all. When we got out I
saw them: Ginta and Miki, coming out of a store. I did as if I hadn't
seen them; I was still unready to face Miki. Ginta... Oh, I won't tell
you yet... It's so funny, ha ha :-)
I was in the tracks, when suddenly Ginta shows up, with a good bruise,
by the way. He told me to don't go out with that guy anymore; that he
had seen him with another girl; that I didn't deserve that, and
something more. I didn't know what to do about all that, really. I felt
as if I had fell all of a sudden in a foreign country.
I asked him to slow down, and he told me Murai was going out with
another girl. Great news, isn't it? :-)
Ginta had seen us coming out from the coffee shop, and thought we were
dating. Later, he saw him again with Emily, and struck a fist at him
right there. Incredible.
He felt utterly embarrassed when I told him the truth... I was a little
harsh at first, maybe. "Are you silly?" I asked him. Well, I don't
expect people to think I date every friend who comes with me to a coffee
shop.
Ah, shut up you liar! Who are you trying to fool? You think someone else
will read all this? I hope not, so, here we go.
In fact, there were more joy than embarrassment. I suppose
that all that time trying to get Yuu's attention had left me in a poor
self-steem level. The truth is, I had to supress a really wide smile,
just to don't seem too evident. I can take care of myself, but I'm not
to refuse protection from others. I can say honestly I was flattered to
see there was someone who cared about me.
So, the problem was how to take the thing further without scaring
Ginta, because I knew I'd be with a foot on my grave if I waited for him
just to show up and ask me out. If he liked me all along, he could
have asked me out, let's say, when we met at Sakaki at the training
fields.
I don't pretend to be arrogant. I know what's shyness, too. It's very
easy to speak. I suppose that the anger pumped up by the Murai incident
helped him to overcome his fear that I would know about his feelings...
So, I had to insist Ginta to come over to Murai's house that weekend and
apollogize *personally*, something utterly unnecessary, for Murai had
already taken his revenge, and in fact I had to call him to attend the
meeting. "He's told me he wants to apollogize personally, but he
doesn't want me to tell you it's been his idea, too." Gee, Arimi,
sometimes I think YOU should have written "The Art of War", not Sun Bin.
But it was worth the lie, really. We met near my house and headed to
Murai's. It was a quick matter, and, again, rather unnecessary, but it
left us almost all the evening to take a stroll back and me to leave the
things "unspoken".
We call each other, from time to time, and sometimes, if I get to avoid
Rokutanda's stalking we met at the coffee shop I dragged him to that
first time. :-)
Today at morning, he was waiting to see me before class. He's invited me
to the Toryo Anual Festival, at Sunday, and I'm really looking forward
to it. :-P
I cannot help but laugh a bit when I see all the troubles he takes to
show his feelings and that he cares about me, but I see myself in him,
when I took care of the most meaningless details in order to have Yuu's
affections.
Well, A-chan. Restarting all over again!
It's like the old chinesse love poem:
The water that flows
Wants to do it with flowers on top.
It's futile to try to stop the flowing water
And futile to try to stop the flowers on top of it.
Just as good things can be lost, bad things can be forgotten.
THE END
----------------
Well, what do you think?
I'd like there was more people writing fics about Ginta and Arimi.
Why always Yuu and Miki??? G and A are my fauvorites.
Ah, just by formality: MB is not of my property.
It's owned by Wataru Yoshizumi.
If I had written it, I would:
-Put Yuu under psychiatric treatment.
-Hire a babysitter for Miki
-Make Ginta and Arimi be te star roles.
-Put Suzu in a wheelchair
-Make Kei be a music genius killed by the drugs
-Involve Na-chan in some car accident
-And finally, Yuu and Miki's parents: None of them would be
working. Yuu and Miki would support all the family with
their part-time jobs. They would live squatting in a
house not of their property. They would sleep all four
together, smoke marihuana, have hippie voices and sing
"let it beee, let it beee...!"
That's for the anime, of course, for I respect the manga very much.
I hope you review the fic, no my "little oppinion." ]:-)
Togusa
