Disclaimer: I was fifteen when Matt Houston first aired so no, they aren't mine . Characters, etc, belong to Aaron Spelling and co. even after all this time.

Spoilers: All of Matt Houston, though none specific here.

Rating: K

Author: Traci

Summary: Houston and CJ deal with the aftermath of a difficult case and maybe find something more as a result.

Dedication: A bit unusual for me but… I'd like to dedicate this to Kim Manners. Most know him as the director for the X-Files and, most recently, Supernatural but he also directed a number of episodes of Matt Houston (and Hart to Hart and Charlie's Angels) and he will be missed!

Realize

Flickers of light danced around the dark room as the wood crackled among the flames in the fireplace. Through the window, a light but steady snow continued to fall covering up the dark and dismal ground of winter.

Matt Houston took a sip from the beer bottle in his hand while he glanced towards the closed door of the guest bedroom of the cabin. The most recent case had been a difficult one. Five children, all under the age of ten, had been brutally slain over nothing more than some petty grudge held by one man against their parents from their high school days. It had hit him hard but not as hard as it had his associate, CJ Parsons. The fourth victim had been the daughter of a friend of hers.

Once the killer had been caught, Houston had suggested that he and CJ spend a week at his cabin in Montana. She had accepted the invitation but not with her usual enthusiasm.

Now, as he sat in the living room, he realized this was the first time CJ had ever closed herself off to even him – and it scared him. His attention had returned to the fireplace when he heard the bedroom door slowly open.

CJ sat beside him without saying a word.

Houston put his beer down and slid an arm around her shoulders and was grateful when she leaned against him without hesitation.

"How are you doing?" he asked.

"Better I guess," she responded quietly.

"Are you hungry? I can make us something if you'd like."

She shook her head, still leaning against him while staring into the fire. "Twenty three years. He held a grudge for twenty-three years."

"I know."

"Why? Why take it out on the children?" She looked up at him hoping for an answer but knowing he had none.

"I don't know, CJ. I wish I did."

She pulled away from him and stood up. "I think I'm going to go to bed. I'm sorry I'm not great company right now."

He smiled at her. "No need to apologize. If you need to talk…"

"I know where to find you," she smiled back then leaned down and kissed his cheek. "Thank you."

Houston watched her disappear back into her room and sighed.

It was three in the morning when he heard his bedroom door open and CJ approach his bed.

"Houston?" she whispered hoping he was awake but not wanting to wake him if he wasn't.

He opened his eyes and sat up in the dark, feeling the side of his bed dip as she set on the edge.

"I…" Her sentence was silenced by her tears.

Turning on the bedside light, Houston could tell she had been crying for hours. Wordlessly, he lifted the blankets for her to climb under… and she did and quickly found herself wrapped in his arms as she cried against his chest.

Bits of sunlight streamed in through the curtain as Houston slowly began to wake. It took him a moment to remember why there was a weight on his chest but it took him less than a moment to tighten his hold on the woman beside him.

After CJ had cried herself out of tears, she finally opened up to him about her worries, her fears, how it hit her what it might be like to lose a child and it scared her. She talked about leaving but admitted it was just a passing thought. He had held her close as she fell asleep hoping to ward off any nightmares if only for that night.

A smile spread across his lips on its own accord at how right it felt to wake with CJ there but he quickly tried to shake that thought away. She was his friend, his best friend and nothing more.

He felt her begin to stir. What was he so afraid of when it came to her? No one knew him better. She accepted him for all he was and all he wasn't. She'd seen him at his best and his worst. She'd followed him to hell and back more times than he cared to remember. Most of his family and friends had asked what he was waiting for. Quite a few ex-girlfriends listed not being able to compete with his devotion to CJ as a reason to break up with him…

"Houston?" she sleepily asked remaining curled up beside him.

"Right here."

"Thank you for listening last night."

He kissed the top of her head. "You're welcome. Are you feeling any better today?"

She looked up at him with her head still resting on his chest, and smiled. "Yes. A lot."

Smiling back at her, he let go of her and got out of bed. "You stay here. I'll get breakfast ready and bring it back."

"Breakfast in bed? Wow," she teased but when he left, she lay back down. It was no secret that she loved Houston and it was pretty obvious he didn't love her in the same way back and she had accepted that but then there were times, like last night, when he made it so confusing for her. He was everything she could ever could hope for – her best friend, someone who actually listened and cared, someone who knew how to make her smile when she didn't want to and who knew when she needed space and time. She had had boyfriends, even came close to being engaged a few times, but ultimately they either betrayed her or felt as thought they couldn't compete with the other man in her life – Houston.

"I hope you like scrambled eggs because, well, breakfast didn't quite go as I had planned," he announced sheepishly as he placed the tray of food on the bed beside her.

CJ sat up and laughed. "Scrambled eggs are perfect."

"If you're up for a little cross-country skiing the snow never let up last night so there's a good base out there…" he told her with a hint of hope in his eyes.

She thought for a moment while sipping her coffee. "That sounds nice."

Later that night, warming by the fire after a long day of skiing, Houston and CJ sat in companionable silence. CJ sat on the floor directly in front of the fire leaning back against the coffee table while Houston, also on the floor, sat off to the side a bit.

He found himself watching how the light from the flames danced throughout the waves of her hair. How relaxed she looked as she sipped her wine. How… how suddenly it felt as if he was just now seeing her – really seeing her and he had finally reached the crossroads.

"CJ?"

"Hmm?" she responded still staring into the fire.

"You're very special to me, you know that, right?"

She looked at him confused. "I know."

He moved a little closer to her. "Maybe more special that even I realized."

Her heart raced. She didn't dare hope. "Houston…"

Before he could stop himself, he reached out and touched her cheek, warm from the fire. Smiling, he continued. "I don't know when or why but… I finally realized that who and what I've needed and wanted has been in front of me for a long time."

Tears filled her eyes. "Matt…"

"I know now probably isn't the best time and if you need time…" Before he could finish his rambling he felt her lips pressed firmly against his. He could stop it now before there was no turning back but he found himself responding. Their first kiss remained slow and gentle both adjusting to the new direction life was leading them. They knew there was no need to rush because now they had forever.

The End