TITLE: Bathroom Monkey
RATING: T or T+ (is that an option? My head hurts, what was wrong with the old movie standards?)
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. No rights to any work of any kind. I only obey the voices in my head.
SUMMARY: Rory/Logan, but more about Rory and Lane's friendship, and its strength in the big life moments. Complete.
Lane followed the quick directions that her best friend had given her. They'd known each other so long now that there was no longer a need to speak in full sentences, sometimes not even in real words, to one another. She knew that Rory was upset, possibly crying, when she called and said simply, "Come over?" Lane had agreed, only to hear Rory tell her to use the mat key to let herself in upon arrival. Doing so, she thought to herself that only in a fancy apartment building with a doorman or a small town like from where they came could this practice be considered safe. Lane still lived in the tiny little town of Stars Hollow, awaiting greatness to be recognized. Then she would of course buy fabulous homes all over the country, with one in New York of course to be near Rory when her busy schedule allowed. A penthouse apartment. With a doorman just like the one that had greeted her moments before, calling her Miss and saying 'Of course,' when she said that Miss Gilmore was expecting her.
Looking around the apartment, it appeared that no one was home. Remains of a shared morning coffee ritual were still on the dining room table, with coffee still in one mug. That must be Logan's, she mused, as it wasn't like Rory to leave any coffee unconsumed in her presence.
"Rory?"
"In here," came the familiar voice, in the direction of the bathroom. Lane gave a light rap on the door, unsure of Rory's current activities. The door pushed open easily, unlatched as it'd been left. Modesty wasn't really an issue. Like most girlfriends, they'd seen each other in various forms of undress and shared a bed during sleepovers more times than were conceivable to count. All appeared to be in order as she looked around, but there was no physical sign of Rory.
"Did you find that invisibility cloak again?" she teased, until she saw the figure shift behind the partially clear shower curtain. The vinyl was a random block pattern, with blue, clear, and green blocks interspersed over the entirety. There, along the bottom row, through the furthest-most clear block, she saw an elbow of the arm that was propping up the head of her best friend. She sat on the edge of the tub and pulled the curtain back far enough so they could see one another.
"Hey, there."
"Hey. Thanks for coming," she bit her lip nervously, and Lane could tell from its pink hue that she'd been worrying the same spot all morning most likely.
"Where's Logan?"
"Oh, he's at work."
Lane nodded. "You okay?"
Rory looked to her friend, glad that she wasn't just carting her off to the loony bin for sitting in the tub wearing a tank top and sweatpants. She hadn't changed after Logan left for work, simply pulling her hair up off her neck and coming into the bathroom, armed with the phone and her recent purchase. Lane knew her well enough to know that there was most likely a rational reason that the 22-year-old woman would sit in her bathtub fully dressed at 10:30 in the morning.
"I'm late."
Lane's eyes widened. "You mean for class, right? Some big test you weren't prepared for?"
The idea was almost absurd as the real reason. Rory had never met a test that didn't like her. She could outscore anyone on the eastern seaboard on any test. She liked tests, even. While it had never made her popular with her classmates, she still relished in her rituals that led her from studying to laying each completed masterpiece on the desk of each professor in her path.
"Twelve days, Lane."
"God, you keep track? I always mean to, but it seems so pointless. Of course, I guess it gets more pertinent if you're actually having sex," she trailed off, looking away for a moment before focusing back on Rory.
"I took it, the test, I mean."
Lane's eyes widened even more, if possible. "And?"
Rory bit the same worn spot on her lower lip. "I don't know. I can't look."
Lane nodded. Best friend duties may not always be easy, but she wasn't here to worry about that. She was here to do whatever Rory needed her to do. What Rory would do for her in the same situation. That is, if Lane had even had sex. Or a current boyfriend for that matter. She shook her head, trying to get the mounting evidence of her pitiful love life out of the forefront of her mind. She needed to focus on the very specific task at hand.
"You want me to," she said, looking around, and then she saw it. The white stick lying on the side of the sink. From her vantage point, she couldn't make out what it read, just the side of the stick. A safe, reassuring, eggshell color. She suddenly saw why Rory was down on the level she was.
"No!" Rory exclaimed, sitting up and putting her hand on Lane's knee. She looked over to the offending stick, then back at Lane, her eyes pleading with her to stay put.
"It's silly, but I needed my own space, away from it," Rory said sheepishly. "I'm just not ready to know yet."
"You're hiding from the test?" Lane nodded.
"The test, the results."
"Is it done?"
Rory nodded. "The box said it only takes a minute, and I took it right before I called you," she said, handing the box that had been at her feet in the tub to her friend.
Lane scoured the information, having been totally unschooled in the ways of home pregnancy tests. Rory was right, just sixty seconds to know the future of your parenthood. Like this was good news, they wrote it. Below the spiel of why this test was better than the other dozen brands on the market, were the simple instructions to hold the strip in the urine stream and the read outs showing both positive (two pink lines) and negative (one pink line) results. Quick and straightforward—no fuss, no muss. That is, if you can bring yourself to look at the tell-tale result panel. Lane made a mental note to pick up the correct (and less icky) end of the test when she would inevitably have to peek at the results.
"Did you tell him?"
Rory shook her head. "No, I mean, technically there's nothing to tell. When I was a couple of days late, I figured it was just my midterms. But now," she sighed, looking down at her lap.
Lane had no idea what to say. Should she be supportive of the idea of a baby? She was in awe of the very concept. She didn't feel old enough to know someone with a child of their own. She could only imagine Rory felt the same way, despite the fact that she and Logan had moved into this apartment this past summer together. He was commuting to New York every day from New Haven to be with her, while she finished up her senior year at Yale. And from Rory's inability to face this information, she assumed it wasn't a planned event.
"Have you guys, you know, talked about what you would do, if you ever did," she said, not wanting to say the actual word.
Rory shook her head. "I'm 22, Lane. And we're careful. Boy in the plastic bubble careful. And everything is going so well with us. He did the cutest thing last week. I came home from class, and he was sitting on the couch with a huge legal pad and his laptop. He was trying to figure out which car to buy, and he was making a pro/con list!" she beamed.
"Aw, he loves you. You always know for sure when they start mimicking your annoying habits," Lane smiled with her friend.
"Hey! In crisis here, no mocking the lists!"
"Right, sorry. Hey, that's a good idea!" she said, nodding encouragingly. Rory furrowed her brow, not making the transition with her friend. "We can make a pro/con list about the results, and then you can know what you would want to do in either situation, with an unbiased mind. No emotions of knowing one way or another involved."
Rory's eyes lit up with direction. "Good, that's good. I'm so glad you're here, Lane."
"I'll just go, get a pad and pen."
"Ooh, and some cookie dough? There's some in the fridge and I haven't eaten all day."
"I saw coffee on the table," she said.
"I started to drink it, and then started worrying about whether or not I should be drinking it," she informed her, clarifying whose cup had belonged to whom.
"Oh. And he didn't ask what was wrong?"
"I've been feeling weird all week. He thinks I have some flu or something. He's going to some society party tonight, and insisted I stay home and rest. He's taking Finn for amusement value and to ward off all interested ladies," Rory giggled.
"How is Finn?" Lane asked with interest. Her meetings with the Australian had always been memorable.
"Lane, supplies," she reminded, causing the other girl to turn and rush out to collect supplies.
XXXX
Now breaking off chunks of cookie dough for her friend before tearing herself a delectable morsel, Rory settled down with Lane to make their list. Lane popped the dough into her mouth, and uncapped the pen as she sat on the closed toilet lid.
"Wait, we have to do this right. It needs a title, and equally proportioned sides," Rory instructed.
"Freak," Lane muttered, eying an equal distance on either side of her pen before drawing a straight vertical line down the middle. Rory shot her a look, which she ignored when she turned to face her friend. "Baby Pro/Con?"
Rory cringed. "Not baby. It sounds too real."
"O-kay. Sea turtle Pro/Con?"
"You think I'd give birth to an amphibian? Gee, thanks."
"Okay, so you want to stay within the primate family. Monkey Pro/Con?"
"Monkey's are cute," Rory nodded, giving her permission.
"Excellent. Okay Pro Monkey, go."
"Okay. Pro Monkey--," she hedged, trying with all her might to think of the advantages of a baby. All that came to her head was not being able to attend her own college graduation because of being too exhausted from three a.m. feedings, putting off her career to take care of a child, Logan's freak out factor—"Maybe we should start with Monkey Cons."
"Got it. Fire when ready."
"Well, there's school. I'm almost done, but I'd be in my ninth month in June. So that probably negates walking through graduation."
"Right. Con Monkey—school. Next."
"I'd have to put off my career, until the kid was old enough to go to school. I hate to leave the kid with a nanny. Mom was always there for me, no matter how busy she was at work. I don't know how she did it, but it was always so important to me."
Lane nodded. Lorelai and Rory had always had a really special and close relationship. "Have you told her yet?"
"I'm 22, Lane. I'm not out of school, and I'm not married. I just need to be sure first."
Lane nodded. While she was sure that Lorelai would be supportive of anything Rory ever did, it would be hard for her to hear that Rory was pregnant. She had high hopes for her daughter, wanting her to have everything she never had. Not wanting her to have to give up on any of her dreams. "Should I put 'Only 22' on here, too?" she asked, mainly joking.
"I guess we're old enough, right? I mean, people have kids much younger than this. And I'll be 23 by the time the kid was born."
"True. And Logan's almost 25, right?"
Rory nodded. "We're planning a party for him in New York next month. I was going to see if you guys could play it, it's a paying gig," she said, smiling at her friend.
"Consider us booked," she promised. "Next."
"Pro Monkey—it would be really smart. I mean, look at the genes we'd be passing down."
"The next Einstein."
"Pro Monkey, it could have Logan's smile."
Lane couldn't help but watch her friend's dreamy expression overtake her face. She'd known for quite some time that her friend was in love with this guy, and she couldn't blame her. He was very charming and intelligent. Not to mention drop dead gorgeous and it was almost exclusively due to his killer smile.
"It would be one cute Monkey."
"Pro Monkey, we're very financially stable. Assuming he sticks around," she bit her lip.
"He loves you, Rory."
She nodded. "I know. This is just one of those deal-breakers, you know. Stories abound with girls with wonderful, loyal boyfriends, who upon hearing their girlfriend is expecting accuse her of messing around behind their back and skipping the country."
"Logan wouldn't skip or accuse."
"I hope not."
"I'm not even going to dignify it by putting it on the Monkey list."
Rory smiled at the absurdity of her friend's last comment. She loved their language and its ability to confuse innocent bystanders. Even Logan had trouble deciphering the actual meaning of some of their conversations when they got deep into a chat.
"Pro Monkey. I will still be able to graduate college."
"True. And walking through graduation in college is overrated, I hear. You just stand up at a big school, you don't even get to walk across the stage. And they mail your diploma to you, it's all for show at the ceremony."
"Who needs that?"
"Exactly."
Rory readjusted herself in her porcelain seat, and tore off another chunk of dough for her friend. "This kid would be malnourished. If I am … with Monkey," she said slowly, not to disrupt her world of denial, "All I've fed it today is some cookie dough."
"Well, you survived Lorelai's cooking inability and you don't look malnourished or anything. Actually, you have a healthy glow," she added, trying to be helpful.
"Please don't say anything about my glowing," she wrinkled her nose.
"Right. Sorry. But you're a very generous person, you've been offering me dough before getting some for yourself."
"You're a good friend, Lane," Rory said, leaning back against the cool tub as she popped another nugget of would be chocolate chip cookie into her mouth. "Remember when we were little, and we used to spend hours mapping out what our lives would be like when we were this age?"
"I believe we deemed thirty old," Lane agreed.
"Yeah. Right out of college was the prime age. It was when everything was going to happen," Rory mused.
"We were going to marry Rhodes Scholar musicians," Lane began.
"Twins, so we wouldn't argue over who had the better looking or smarter husband."
"We were going to build adjoining castles," Lane giggled.
"And have kids at the same time so they'd always have someone fun and cool to hang out with, just like we had each other."
"Sorry that I can't help out with that more," Lane gave a look of sympathy. "I mean, if you are, what you might be."
"I'm not really a big fan of the unplanned," Rory tore off more cookie dough, but didn't put it in her mouth straight away. She squished it between two fingers, and then rolled it into a ball in the palms of her hands. "Logan's always teasing me about needing to go with the flow more, taking what bumps life gives me. He says I'll have my death planned out years in advance."
Lane smiled. "He does know you pretty well."
"Do you think I could do this?" Rory's face was full of anticipation and fear. If anyone had to answer the hard questions without blinking, it was Lane. She would tell her without hesitation the full and blunt truth.
"Yes. I think you could do anything. And you've had the best role model in the whole world."
"Lorelai likes spontaneity. She thrives on it."
"Still. It's not like you'd be doing it alone. Logan seems to thrive on spontaneity as well."
Rory smiled, leaning back again, putting the tube of plastic encased dough on the lip of the tub. She closed her eyes, trying to envision what it would be like to add a new person to the mix of this household. A tiny, helpless new being, made from parts of her and the man she loved.
"We've gotten away from our monkey list," Lane reminded.
"I can't think about this anymore. I think we need to look soon."
Lane nodded. "Do you want to see the list first?"
Rory opened her eyes. It seemed to be yet another object she wasn't ready to face. "Is it tipped more one way than another?"
Lane nodded. "Do you want to know which way?"
Rory bit her lip. "I love him. And as terrified as I am at the prospect that the test is positive, and all that entails, I know that he and I, we're good. No matter what the list says."
"He's really good with his nephew," Lane pointed out.
Rory smiled, nodding. "He is. He lights up every time they bring him over here. We baby-sit sometimes, to give them a night out. He's amazing with Charlie, he's so natural."
"What are you really scared of?" Lane baited, knowing there was something still gnawing at her friend. Rory babbled and beat around the bush when perplexed. She could debate until the cows came home about topics that she felt decisively one way or another about, but on big life matters, she sometimes had trouble finding her true voice.
"I think," she paused, "Is it bad that I'm afraid it will say I'm not?"
Lane tried not to register the shock on her face. "If it's how you really feel, how is that bad?"
Rory smiled. "You should be a therapist. Or a bartender."
Lane returned the gesture. "I thought you didn't feel ready. School and work and all that."
"Mom did all that after she had me. Who's to say I can't do the same?"
"No one. At least, no one who wouldn't want to get their butt kicked," Lane clarified.
"And when I start to really see how it might be—I see not just Logan's smile, but his mischievous grin he gets when he's up to something."
"The blinky thing you do when you're lying."
"I so don't do that."
"Right. That's my other best friend—Morey."
Rory glared and rolled her eyes. "My point is, it would be this mixture of us. And that's not so scary. It's almost, comforting."
"So, if it's positive, you're okay."
"I'm okay."
There was an extended beat as this realization washed over the two women. Lane looked to Rory, who seemed to have a sense of calm wash over her, yet she didn't move from her bathtub seat. Lane remained bolted to the toilet, clutching their pro/con list in her hand. She placed it on the top of the toilet tank, and then stood up slowly, eyeing Rory.
Rory nodded, and Lane approached the sink. Before she got in view of it, she turned to face Rory, her back to the test.
"You're positive you want me to look at this now?"
"I have to know, so I can figure everything else out."
"What if it's negative?"
Rory looked taken aback. "What do you mean? Then, nothing."
"Nothing? You won't even tell Logan?"
Rory frowned. "I don't know. I guess not. I mean, why freak him out for nothing?"
Lane shrugged disapprovingly.
"You think I should tell him?"
"I think he would want to know. He's the one that freaked out when you didn't tell him you didn't get that internship. You were trying to hide your disappointment, and Lorelai ended up being the one to let it slip to him," Lane reminded.
"Yeah. He said he wanted to help me commiserate. He wanted to be the one to cheer me up."
"Do I have to tell you how much he loves you again? 'Cause it's getting rather exhausting."
"Okay, I will tell him no matter what the test says."
"And you feel confident to handle whatever outcome it gives you?"
"Yes. I feel good," she nodded definitively and sat up straighter.
"And you promise to get out of the tub? 'Cause you're starting to freak me out a little," Lane gave a smile.
Rory stood up and stepped out of the tub. She moved to sit on the still closed toilet lid, and took a deep breath. Lane leaned down and picked up the box, to help her in reading the results. Taking the test carefully in one hand and the box overturned in the other, she looked from one to the other for a few seconds before looking up at Rory.
Rory's leg tapped in anticipation, her lower lip was caught haphazardly in her teeth. Her hands were joined in her lap, and she couldn't bear the waiting one moment longer.
"Well?"
"Two pink lines."
Rory's became deathly still. Her foot stopping its dance of impatience, and she didn't even blink. Lane leaned against the sink, looking back down to the test to double check her initial viewing. Maybe she'd developed double vision since entering the apartment. She blinked, and rechecked. Still two pink lines. She looked up at Rory.
"Rory?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you remember what that means?"
"Yeah."
"O-kay."
Lane waited for a moment, figuring that Rory probably just needed a moment. After all, just taking the test had made her retreat to the bathtub and call for reinforcements. Hearing the news would be more life-changing.
"Do you want to get back in the bathtub?"
"Just for a little while," Rory nodded, getting up blankly and pulling the shower curtain shut around her before sitting back down in the bottom.
"Do want me to go?"
"Can you stay?"
"Yeah, of course. I'll just call Luke to tell him I can't make it in tonight."
"Don't tell him why, okay? I don't want Mom freaking out and coming down here," she said. "I'm not ready to deal with all that yet."
"I so don't want to be the one to tell Luke about this," Lane assured her. "I'll just tell him that I got sick."
"Thanks."
"I'll be right back, okay?"
Rory nodded, which Lane couldn't see, but at her silence, she took it as a sign that it was okay, and she took the phone, slipping out of the bathroom and into the bedroom. She sat down on the bed, realizing that this was the scene of the crime most likely. She wondered if Rory knew when it'd happened. It was probably just as silly romantic notion to actually remember the moment of conception. She sighed, and dialed the number, trying to sound as if she'd caught a cold.
XXXX
"Lane?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm sorry."
"For what?"
It was preposterous that Rory should apologize to anyone for any of the events that were occurring in her life right now. She was an honors student college senior, soon to graduate with a degree in journalism while consistently writing pieces for the Yale Daily that not too infrequently got picked up by larger papers, including the New York Times. She'd somehow managed to balance a relationship in the mean time, moving in with Logan some months ago and they were truly happy together. And knowing Rory, they had been incredibly safe and smart, doing their best not to get pregnant. Sometimes these things just happen. Everyone in her life could (and had to) understand that.
"You've been so great to come down here and hold my hand, and look at me. I'm just sitting here incapacitated."
Rory had been sitting silently in the bathtub for a good half hour, since Lane got back from calling Luke. Figuring she'd talk when she was ready, Lane just resumed her seat on the toilet and flipped through a magazine that Rory had in a stand next to the toilet. It was a good idea, having quick reading material there like that. She made a mental note to develop a similar set up in her own bathroom when she got home.
"You're digesting the information."
"Yeah. I guess I have to tell him first."
"Yeah. When will he be back?"
"Late tonight. He has that party."
"Do you want me to stay?"
"No, you should go—you've done so much already."
"We could play Candyland and listen to I'm Too Sexy over and over until our ears bleed."
Rory let out a giggle. This was why she had called Lane of all people. She could listen to your problems and put them aside when you needed her to just make you laugh.
"Or, there's lots of Cosmo quizzes here we can go through. Would you rather do 'What's Your Girlfriend Style,' 'Are You Good in Bed,' or 'How Mysterious Are You?'"
"I'm guessing Cosmo isn't so worried about what kind of a mother I'd make."
"I guess not. So, which is it?"
"I'll take 'How Mysterious Are You?'" Rory sighed, figuring if nothing else this would kill some time. She had hours before Logan got home and it literally felt like her life was on hold until she could speak the words and see his reaction.
"Okay, first question, 'How much do your friends know about the guys you date?' A. 'Everything, even the size of his. . .' oh, my, uh, B. 'A few juicy details here and there,' or C. 'Just his name, age and job. You're not Sex and the City style gossiping.'"
"Uh, B. I guess. I'm not too, you know," she probed, worried for her friend's feelings.
"Gross?"
"Vivid is what I was going to say," Rory corrected.
"Well, sometimes it is nauseating to see you two. He always looks at you like you're this vision of perfection."
"He does not!" Rory scoffed.
"He does too! It's like you mesmerize him. It's cute for the first five minutes, but after that, I start to worry he'll walk into a wall or something."
"Well, it's not like we're perfect. We can get really frustrated, and we do fight."
"Yeah, but you always make up."
"Yeah. Lane?"
"Yeah?"
"I think that kind of might be the reason that we're gathered here today."
Lane looked as Rory drew the curtain back again, revealing her blushing cheeks. She looked rather sheepish. Lane was starting to wonder if Rory needed to change her answer to the first question. She had a feeling she was about to find out the size of his. . .
"What do you mean?"
"About a month ago, we had dinner with his family. There are still some uncomfortable moments, when we go over there. His parents are warming up to the idea of us, but it's still sort of a transition. And I didn't want to go in the first place, and his mother made some comment about our living together and how that looked. Anyway, after we got home, we got into a fight about it all, and I stormed into the bedroom and slammed the door. I couldn't fall asleep, I was just so mad. He came in a few minutes later, and he looked, different. It might have been the light in the room, but he looked pale. He thought I wanted to move out, and it really freaked him out. He came in all apologetic and told me he didn't want to lose me, and we sort of just got lost in one another. I can't remember if we used protection or not. I mean, we always do, it's like a habit. We might have, and I just skipped over it in my mind. There was something different about that night, something different about us."
"Different good?"
Rory nodded. "I can't really explain it. He was just more attentive, I guess, without being too descriptive for your delicate tastes. It was encompassing, definitely. It's always been good, but this was on another level, more intimate."
"Wow. You really know how to make a girl want to rethink her celibacy vows."
Rory smiled. "It's pretty amazing, with the right guy."
"I'm happy for you. I mean, I know you haven't really dealt with the reality, but this is big, exciting news."
"Yeah. It is, isn't it?"
"RORY?"
Rory and Lane looked at each other in panic. That was most definitely Logan's voice. The bathroom was scattered with evidence—the test and box on the sink, cookie dough still on the lip of the tub, magazines scattered around the toilet.
"What's he doing home?" Lane whispered.
"I don't know, he should still be at work," she whispered back. "Go, stall him, I'll clean up in here."
"You stall him! You're much more, effective at it!" Lane argued.
"Rory? You here?" he called again.
"Lane, now!" Rory warned, pointing to the door.
"Fine!" she whispered back in a harsh tone before slipping out the door to face Logan.
"Lane? Is she okay?" he moved to the familiar face of his girlfriend's best friend.
"Oh, she's just feeling, a little under the weather."
"I came home to check on her. I hated leaving her all night when she felt so bad."
"Oh, she's okay, she just," Lane bit her lip, not sure what to tell him. How long was she supposed to stall him? His arrival had definitely been unexpected. Rory knew she had to tell him, but Lane got the feeling she needed a bit more time to find peace with it herself before having to break the news to Logan.
"Just what? Should I call a doctor?"
"Uh, no. I think she'll do that later herself."
That probably wasn't the smartest thing to say, she realized as it was coming out of her mouth. Logan's eyes widened a little, suspecting now that something was definitely up. Rory hadn't gone to school, Lane was here, and as strange as Lane seemed to him sometimes, this was definitely unusual behavior.
"So, how's work?" she asked lamely.
"Lane, what's going on?"
"Logan, just, wait here for a sec, okay?"
He gave her a strange look, but obeyed, not moving as she moved back to the door and knocked lightly before hearing Rory's voice okay her entrance. She slipped back in to see everything put to rights.
"Where's the test?"
"Under the sink."
"What are you going to do with the list?"
Rory held the Monkey Pro/Con list in her hands, looking down at it. "Send him in here, will you?"
"You're sure? He knows something's up. I'm not good at the stalling," Lane apologized.
"It's okay. You've done so much for me today. You can go home, I'll call you later."
"You better," Lane hugged her friend, glad that everything seemed to be okay. Rory definitely had the glow back about her, not the paleness that had come over her when Lane read off the results.
Rory gave her another reassuring smile, and she turned to the door, finding Logan on the other side where she'd left him.
"She wants to see you in there," Lane pointed to the bathroom door.
"What's going on?"
"Just, let her talk, okay?"
Logan looked to Lane, and nodded. "I'll see you guys later," she bid him goodbye, and then she left his sight. He looked at the bathroom door with great hesitation. He'd never really considered the bathroom door before, but now it seemed a little daunting. Why was Rory in the bathroom at this hour, anyway? He opened the door gingerly, pushing the door open slowly. Rory was standing next to the sink in her sweats and tank top, her hair now down around her shoulders. She looked beautiful—even though he'd just seen her in the same state this morning, she looked different somehow.
"Hey," he said, stepping forward to hug her. "I was at work, but I just kept thinking I should be here taking care of you. Feeling better?"
She nuzzled into him, letting him hold her for a moment. When she pulled back, she looked into his eyes. "I have something to show you."
"Okay," he said, taking the legal pad that she held out for him to inspect. He looked over it, the pro/con list written in unfamiliar handwriting. He looked over the listings, and the corners of his mouth upturned slightly. He looked at her, her waiting blue eyes watching him as he looked over the paper.
"We're getting a monkey?" he asked.
She shook her head, smiling wider than he'd ever seen in his life. She took his hand in hers. He felt himself being pulled closer to her, and he wrapped his other hand around her for stability. She placed his hand on her stomach. It was smooth, flat, and warm under his fingers.
"Rory," he whispered, as if he were trying her name out. To see how it played on his lips.
"Logan, we, we're," she began, but the tears threatened her voice. A couple escaped, rolling down her cheeks.
"You're sure?"
She nodded. "I'm sure."
He held her close, whispering soft words in her ear. She lie her head on his shoulder, as they acclimated themselves to this new knowledge. Standing in the middle of the bathroom, still holding the list and each other, their whole world grew. When they pulled back, they shared a smile.
"So, you think I have a killer smile?" he teased, holding up the list.
"You weren't supposed to see that part," she breathed, letting out a half laugh.
"We're going to do this," he looked again at the list.
"The pros did kind of outweigh the cons."
"I've learned not to argue with your lists," he grinned.
"You're doing that on purpose," she chastised, pushing away from him weakly.
His smile just got larger, more knee-weakening. "Doing what?"
"Stop it," she laughed, letting him put both arms around her as he dropped the list on the bathroom floor. "It's not fair to use this information against me," she argued, as he kissed her neck.
"Hey, you're the one that divulged this information."
"I was hoping you'd focus more on the big picture," she explained.
"On the monkey," he nodded, his face growing solemn.
A million thoughts flew through her mind as his fingers moved from under hers, softly squeezing her stomach. Having to tell his parents, her mother—her grandparents. The fact that this apartment wasn't big enough for a child, and her having to arrange doctor's visits between classes and working on articles for the paper.
"I'm glad you're here."
"Let's go out," he said, as she looked up into his eyes yet again.
"But what about school, and work—your parents' party?" she asked, dreading the real world interference in their affairs. This was too new, too special.
"Everything else can wait. We need to celebrate."
She matched his smile, finding all the reassurance she would ever need right there. It'd been the first thing to jump into her mind earlier when she truly considered this as a possibility, and now it was really there in front of her. He kept a hold of her hand, leading her for the first time this morning out of the bathroom so they could get changed.
"Can I ask you one question?"
"Sure," she nodded, opening the closet door to rifle through her clothes. Soon some of these things wouldn't fit her. She gave a faint smile at the thought of her stomach filling out.
"Why a monkey?"
She just smiled, "Oh, you kind of had to be there."