Being dead

"Oh no Creevey. Not you as well."

The slightly hoarse voice made Colin open his eyes, after a while his sight came back into focus and he saw the last person he'd ever expected to see.

"Professor Lupin?" he said, rather confused, getting to his legs. Remus Lupin had been one of his, practically his first, Defence against the Dark Arts teacher. He never really considered Lockhart a Defence teacher.

"Where am I?"

"You're dead! You should've done what professor McGonagall told you. Doing what teachers tell you is pretty smart sometimes."

"Yes Moony. Because you always did what the teachers told you, right?"

Turning to see who the speaker had been Colin saw a group of three men about Lupin's age and a red-headed girl. The person who'd spoken looked remarkable like Harry, except for the eyes; however the girl had those eyes so it didn't take him long to guess they were his, Harry's, parents. He also recognized the second man as Sirius Black. Who the third was he had no clue.

"I only said sometimes Prongs. Not always. If a teacher tells you to escape so you won't get killed that's pretty smart"

While they'd spoken a group of people had appeared.

"Alright, Colin. Guess I'd better introduce you. James and Lily Potter. Sirius Black. Peter Pettigrew. Regulus Black. Gideon and Fabian Prewett. I believe you already know Fred Weasley. Cedric Diggory but him you probably knew a little as well. Snape and Dumbledore you also knew. Alastor "Mad-eye" Moody. Percival, Kendra and Ariana Dumbledore. Gellert Grindelwald. Mrs Abbott, that's Hannah Abbotts's mum. Mrs Lovegood, Luna's mum. Amelia Bones. Gregorovitch. Igor Kakaroff. Dobby. Ted Tonks. Merope Gaunt. Tom Riddle Sr. and Nymphadora Lupin."

In turn each of the presented inclined their head towards Colin who nodded back in return. For a moment the group seemed unsure of what to say to each other. Until a high pitched shrill pierced the air.

"IT'S UNFAIR! I DON'T WANNA BE DEAD. THAT MOLLY WEASLEY KILLED ME JUST BECAUSE I ALMOST KILLED THAT DAUGTER OF HERS."

They all turned in shock, seeing no less than Bellatrix Lestrange making a tantrum worthy of a three year old. Unfortunately, not only for her but for the others as well, Fred had heard her comment about almost killing Ginny and lunged forwards.

"YOU. ALMOST. KILLED MY SISTER?"

Only the combined power of James, Sirius, Remus, Peter, Regulus, Gideon, Fabian, Cedric, Mad-eye, Severus, Percival, Albus, Gellert, Gregorovitch, Igor, Ted and Tom managed to hold him back from attacking Bellatrix. Then something very strange happened; Merope, who'd been rather quiet until then, went up and slapped the person who'd been with Bellatrix. The person was no less than Lord Voldemort or Tom Riddle Jr. he didn't look like Voldemort any more, rather like the Riddle of the Diary.

"YOU HAVE BEEN A REALLY BAD BOY! TOM MARVOLO RIDDLE, YOU'VE HOUSE ARREST!"

Everyone's jaw literally dropped. After all, it's not everyday you witness the self-proclaimed Dark Lord get a house arrest by his mother. It's not everyday either to see said Dark Lord sulk.

"I don't want a house arrest. It's not fair. I'm off age; you can't boss around with me."

"ALL THESE PEOPL, well except from these, WOULD HAVE BEEN ALIVE TODAY IF IT WASN'T FOR YOU! SO I SUGGEST YOU JUST GO TO YOUR ROOM OR WHATEVER."

Sourly Tom Jr. turned and walked away fro the group. Bellatrix was about to join him when four new people arrived at the scene.

"MUM? DAD?" Sirius Regulus and Bellatrix said as with one mouth. The four people were no less than Walburga and Orion Black, Sirius and Regulus' parents. And Cygnus and Cedrella Black, Bellatrix' parents. Before anyone could say anything Walburga started yelling:

"HALF BREEDS! BASTARDS! FREAKS! DISHONOURING THE BLOOD OF MY FATHERS." She continued ranting until both Sirius and Regulus had gotten enough.

"OH SHUT UP!"

The four of them left again while Tonks gave a deep sigh.

"Merlin. She's worse than that picture."

"Did anyone mention my name?" No less than Merlin himself appeared to the scene, to everyone's surprise together with Rufus Scrimgeour. The former minister seemed rather uncomfortable in the legendary wizard's company.

"OKAY! CUT!" ImagingThings yelled, suddenly appearing, shocking everyone half to dead, or she would have if it wasn't for the fact that they were already dead. "I'M THE ONE WRITING THE BLOODY STORY AND I DON'T WANNA WRITE ABOUT EVERY FREAKY FAMOUS WITCH OR WIZARD! GET IT?"

Everyone nodded quickly, not daring to cross the insane figure that had popped up. After a while she turned towards Bellatrix,

"Uhm, piece of late advice Bella, killing Sirius Black is not really going to make you popular amongst the fan-girls." That comment prompted Sirius into the weirdest dance anybody had ever seen. "Nor will killing Dobby. Okay you got it? Everyone else who appears will have to be content with just standing in the background doing nothing."

Again there was broad nodding everywhere except from Igor, Gellert and Gregorovitch who was speaking Bulgarian or Russian or whatever together.

"SÅ TAL DOG DANSK MENNESKER!" ImagingThings yelled which for some reason made everyone look at her like she was crazy (which she is). "Or if you think that's easier you could speak English. That'll do."

"What exactly did you speak before?" Colin asked confused, "It sounded rather well, meaningless to me."

"Hey! That's not meaningless. It's Danish."

"Who speaks Danish anymore?"

"PEOPLE IN DENMARK! DANES!"

"Denmark. Isn't that a city in Sweden?"

That made her literally pull her hair, causing her already spiky and messy hair to stand completely in the air.

"A CITY IN SWEDEN? DON'T YOU HAVE GEOGRAPHY LESSONS? HOW STUPID IS IT POSSIBLE TO BE? HALF OF ENGLAND HAS BEEN DANISH TEORITORY. Long time ago, in the Viking Age but still. HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY NOT KNOW WHAT DENMARK IS?"

"Sorry."

"Thank you. Read you geography." With those words she was gone.

"Okay." Fred said, looking rather shaken. "I don't hope she comes back any day soon."

"Why not?" Amelia began, "I mean, she had quite a temper but I'd get angry too if anyone thought the country I came from, which is England I know, was a city in another country."

"I thought I'd gotten rid of red-headed furies."

"Me too." Gideon and Fabian added. Growing up with Molly they were used to angry, red-headed girls.

"Gotten rid of red-headed furies?" James said, exaggerated. "Hello guys. Lily's here."

If looks could kill James probably would have died a second time by the menacing glances Lily shot towards him.

"So," Regulus began, clearly trying to get everyone to talk in a civil tone. "Does anybody here play quidditch? Well I know you do James. After all we did have quite a few matches against each other."

"I play too. I'm seeker."

"Cool. Me too."

"I was beater." Fred offered.

"We have two seekers and a beater. That doesn't make a team."

"Gideon and I were beaters too."

"I can surely play beater as well." Sirius came in. "So, if me and Fred goes together with Cedric here, no that's right Reggie, don't wanna be on team with you, then you could be chaser for us Prongs. And we'll just need two more chasers and a keeper."

"Alright Padfoot."

"That's unfair. You're a step ahead. Severus?"

"Yes?"

"Do you think you could play chaser?"

"Against those two? You bet."

"Wormtail, you always dreamed of being keeper right?"

"Yes but I wasn't that good was I?"

"No. But I think considering the fact that you're dead you'll probably be like, awesome."

"I'm in."

"Colin, you think you could play chaser?"

"Yeah… I guess."

"Lily and Tonks you'll be our other chasers."

"Mrs Lovegood you up for being chaser?"

"Yes."

"Then you can be keeper if that's alright Moony."

"Fine with me. And Dora, don't think I'll let you score easy."

"I already did. Didn't I?"

"SHOULD WE PLAY?"

And before long 14 people were zooming around on broomsticks there had miraculously appeared on a pitch which had appeared in a similarly way.

Okay, that was rather pointless I know.

Så tal dog dansk mennesker Speak Danish people.