Paranoia

by SibylSofiana

This was supposed to be a Suppi story but it ended up ExT. Originally titled “Perplexity”. A short and sweet tale about what paranoia can do to a man.

PARANOIA

By SibylSofiana

This was supposed to be a Suppi story but it  ended up ExT.  Originally titled "Perplexity".

A short and sweet tale about what paranoia can do to a man.

And we still don't own CCS.  Oh, misery!

Eriol's thoughts:

There it was again.

I paused a third time from my story to look across the table where my beloved Tomoyo sat, gazing unblinkingly, dreamily at a point beyond my shoulder, her mind obviously elsewhere.

Saying "My Tomoyo" is just wishful thinking.  We've been good friends for so long, but it has never gone beyond that.  Much as I would like to.  But no, I would never want to jeopardize our friendship, so I just keep my feelings to myself, and keep her close to me a little while longer.

I reach out to hold her hand, to assure myself of reality.  That I'm with her.  And she's with me.

"Hey,"  I said, gently squeezing her hand, an action that startled her back to the present.  Back to me.

"Huh?"  Her eyes blinked and focused on my face.  Then she flushed a slight pink.

"Gomen, Eriol-kun."  She smiled apologetically.  "My mind wandered."

Though it took an effort, I smiled back.

 "It's alright, Tomoyo.  You must be tired.  I'll walk you home."   That must be it, right?  She just needs to rest.  Everything will be fine tomorrow.

"No, no!"  Tomoyo exclaimed, surprising me with her sudden burst of energy.  "I mean, I want to see Nakuru-chan first.  I need to talk with her."

I raised a brow questioningly, but complied with her request and escorted her out of the cafe.  As we walked towards my house, I pondered her reason for wanting to talk with Nakuru.

Talk with Nakuru?  The very thought amused me.  Inwardly, I smirked.  Why, all Nakuru ever talks about are...

BOYS.

Outwardly, I showed no visible reaction save for the slight widening of my eyes.  Inside,  my thoughts and emotions were a jumble. 

Had the day I most feared finally come?  Had she come to realize that she deserved someone better than me?  Someone other than the foolishly, pathetically, obsessively-in-love-with-her guy that I am?

All these thoughts passed through my head in a moment.  I looked at her holding my hand, her gaze in front of her but her thoughts a thousand miles away.  She looked so beautiful, so innocent, so unaware that she was breaking my heart every step we took. I looked away and fixed my gaze ahead. Her happiness is my happiness.    

But deep inside I felt miserable.

~0~0~0~0~)~)~)~)~

At the Hiiragizawa Manor

Eriol ignored the self-disgust he felt as he stealthily crouched on the thick Aubusson carpet of his hallway.  One hand was braced against the wall beside him while the other was cupped around his ear pressed against a door, straining to hear the voices on the other side.

He could just imagine what would happen if Spinel discovered his Master skulking about the house.  He mentally groaned.  The most powerful sorcerer in the world did have an image to preserve, after all.  But right now it was of no consequence to him.  This was a matter of life or death.

Firmly resolute, he went back to this task of utmost gravity and importance that would inevitably decide his fate.

~0~0~0

Eriol could hear them giggling in Nakuru's room.

"Oh my God, he's so kawaii!" he heard Nakuru squeal.

His heart almost stopped beating.  He could almost visualize a starry-eyed Tomoyo cross her arms in front of her and nod her assent in the silence that followed Nakuru's outburst.

Who is 'he'?!  Eriol thought in dismay. Am I losing her so soon?

Eriol coudn't help but scowl, a bit hurt.

He couldn't believe that his own guardian, Nakuru was betraying him by encouraging Tomoyo's liking for another boy.  

Not Nakuru's fault, he grudgingly admitted.  He hadn't confided in his guardians regarding his feelings for Tomoyo.  They just took for granted that they were the best of friends and nothing more.

Shaking his head, he dejectedly made his way to his room.  Nakuru would make sure Tomoyo got home safely.   As for him, maybe he could conjure up some spell and drown himself in his misery.

~0~0~0

Spinel just watched his Master go into his room with flagging steps from his secret shadowy corner.  He didn't feel concerned – Eriol often got into mood swings.   He just felt curious as to why his Master had this urge to go on all fours and make weird faces.

Must be a Clow thing, Spinel thought as he made a note to put it on his research journal later.  All the best sorcerers were eccentric, so Eriol was no different, he supposed.

I still think I'd better go ask Keroberos.  Shrugging, he flew downstairs and made for the telephone.

~0~0~0

Two weeks later.

Eriol dejectedly made his way home. 

It has begun, he thought miserably.

Tomoyo had stood him up. 

They were supposed to meet at the cafe this afternoon, as they always did, no matter how busy the week was for them.  He was looking forward to it because they hadn't seen each other for a while, not even at the university campus.  He knew this day was special to him for some reason, but the reason was eluding him.  All he knew was that he wanted to  share it with Tomoyo. 

He made his way to the cafe after finishing his research at the library, eager to catch up with her for the past week.  Only to find their corner table empty. 

The friendly waitress who always served them handed him a note, saying it was from Tomoyo.  With a feeling of dread, he opened the note and read its contents.

I'm sorry I can't come, Eriol.  I'm a bit busy right now.   I'll see you soon, okay? 

-Tomoyo

So now he was on his way home.  He tried calling her mobile earlier, but it was turned off.  He called at her house, but the maid who picked up said she wasn't at home.

Where are you, Tomoyo?

He opened the gate and walked across the pathway, not noticing that the garden he tenderly took care of was in full bloom, a vast sea of smell and sight illuminated by the full moon.

He opened the door and groped to find the lights, intending to just skip dinner and sleep his weariness off.  He was in no mood for his housemates' antics.  But before he could find the switch, a blaze of light blinded and disoriented him.

"SURPRISE!!!" 

He jumped as he was promptly smothered by Nakuru who glomped him, and Spinel, in true form, momentarily lost his regal bearing and pounced on him. 

Aaargh!  Eriol lost his balance and they all fell down on the floor.  Even as they lay in an ungainly heap, his eyes sought only the form of one voice he heard mixed in with Nakuru's and Spinel's greeting.  There she was standing against the banister at the foot of the stairs, her amethyst eyes twinkling as they finally met his from behind the videocamera she was holding.

"Happy birthday, Eriol-kun!"

Eriol could only breathe a sigh of relief as he tried to disentangle himself from arms, fur, butterfly wings, legs and paws.

She's still my Tomoyo.

~o~o~o

So, with the birthday candles blown and the cake served and eaten, Eriol was understandably confused when Nakuru dragged Tomoyo conspiratorially to the kitchen table, away from the sink where she had been helping Eriol. 

Even if it was his birthday, Eriol was washing dishes while Spinel sat on the windowsill supervising his progress.    As the kitchen table was only a few feet away, he could hear them whispering loudly behind him.

"Show me your latest picture, Tomoyo-chan!  Ah, isn't he just gorgeous!"  Nakuru was barely restraining a squeal.

"Shhh, Eriol might hear you..."

"No, he's busy with the suds.  C'mon, To-chan!"

Eriol was trying hard to adjust his hearing without being too obvious.  Spinel just looked at him in curiosity.

"I took this when he wasn't looking.  Mmmhmm, my best shot yet – don't you think so?"

"I agree.  You should blow this one up, so you can frame it and give it to him..."

"You think this is the one?"

Tomoyo!  Can't you see I'm the only one for you?

"He's absolutely perfect!  No one could possibly resist you, Tomoyo-chan!"

Eriol couldn't restrain himself any longer.  He was already panicking at the thought that he had already lost Tomoyo to some guy Nakuru thought was absolutely perfect for her.

"Who is he?!?"  Eriol demanded.

Tomoyo quickly looked up and blushed.

"Oh, nobody, nobody, Eriol!"  she attempted to hedge, but Eriol just had to find out who the competition was. 

So he underhandedly cast a spell on the photograph Tomoyo was hiding behind her back.  It flew from her grasp and zoomed quickly to his hand.

Tomoyo drew in a shocked breath.

"Eriol, that's not fair!  Give it back!"

Eriol was beyond feeling guilty as jealousy steadily ate his insides.  Whoever he is, I'll show him one or  two advantages to being the most powerful sorcerer in the world!  he thought fiercely to himself.

But as he flipped the photograph over, he was momentarily confused.

He was looking at his own photograph.

It showed him sitting at the cafe, waiting for her to arrive, and in the photo he looked so young and carefree, with a slight smile at the edge of his mouth as he looked at his teacup contemplatively.   He remembered that day.  He had been thinking of Tomoyo at the time. 

Eriol blanked out – why was she hiding his picture from him...?

Tomoyo was crossing her arms and tapping her foot.  Eherm! She gave a quick cough and stretched out her hand with a frown on her lovely face.

"GIVE.IT.BACK."

While he was still in a daze, his forearms dripping soapsuds on the floor, she grabbed the photograph and marched out of the kitchen.

Stunned, Eriol stood there not knowing what to do.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk, Eriol-sama."  Said Nakuru from the kitchen table, cradling her head with both hands.  "You should probably go after her and apologize."

Ah!  A glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel. 

"Um, Spinel – could you finish washing the dishes?  I think I have some major groveling to do...!"  He didn't hear Spinel's gasp of outrage nor Nakuru's cackle as he rushed after Tomoyo -- suds, apron and all.

~o~o~o~o~

He caught her in the garden.

"Tomoyo, please wait!  Gomen nasai!  I didn't mean to..."

"That was very bad manners, Eriol!'  she turned around to face him, fixing him with a cold stare that cut him to the quick.

"I know, I know, forgive me!  I don't know what came over me, I was so jealous that I couldn't see straight, and you've been talking to Nakuru for days and all she talks about are boys that's why –"  Eriol knew he was babbling but he couldn't seem to stop himself "—I had to know who it was..." he finished lamely.

Tomoyo softened a little.

"Baka, Eriol," she reproved him.  "Still doesn't excuse your bad manners."

"I'm sorry."  He blew it!  He blew it with Tomoyo – now she hated him and wouldn't want to be with him anymore.  The last thing he ever wanted to do was disappoint her.  He couldn't take the way she would look at him like he failed her.

His body tensed, waiting for her rejection, to walk out of his life forever.  He waited and waited...

Tomoyo let out a heavy sigh.

"And now you've ruined my second birthday present to you,"  Tomoyo pouted.  "I took all these great candid shots of you and asked Nakuru to pick the best one so I could frame it and give it to you."  What she said made him hang his head further in shame.  He had been so paranoid!

"Arigatou, Tomoyo.  I'm sorry I spoiled the surprise..."

Tomoyo suddenly laughed.  "Oh, it's okay.  I can still give you the last present."

Eriol blinked in surprise and looked at her.  She's forgiven me?  Just like that?  Wait...

The last present? 

"What else can you possibly give me?"  He looked at her quizzically.  "The party and the framed picture are wonderful already." 

Tomoyo just laughed and walked just close enough so he could smell her light magnolia scent.

"This."  And Tomoyo quickly covered the distance between them and gave him a full-blown kiss right there in the garden, surrounded by flowers, beneath the moon, with Nakuru and Spinel cheering somewhere in the background and all that poetic stuff.

His knees, already weak with tension and sudden relief, suddenly buckled from under him.  With a startled yelp, he grabbed Tomoyo for support, and both of them suddenly disappeared from sight as they tumbled to the ground.

On a scale of one to ten, I must have scored eleven for paranoia, Eriol mentally kicked himself.  Oh, well.  But as birthdays go, I scored big time!  He thought to himself happily as he gave in and kissed Tomoyo back.

And Nakuru was right.  I'm absolutely perfect for Tomoyo.

~0~FIN~0~

postscript~

"Eh, Suppi-chan – can you see them?"

"How can I, you're in the way, baka!"

"'Baka' yourself!  Who's the idiot who took over dish duty?"

"I'm a cat, I can't wash dishes."

"Kero-chan does it all the time."

"That Yellow Plushie would do anything for food."

"You'd do it for sweets, won't you, sweet Suppi-chan?"

[Silence.  Nakuru stuffing Spinel. After some time.]

"Kawaii, Suppi-chan!!!  Hmm, I'd better take a picture so I can show Eriol-sama...hey, slow down, Suppi-chan,  you're dripping all over me!!!..."

~O~O~

Authors' Note:

Had fun?  We did!  Kindly leave a quick review, onegai!  A not-so-quick one will be even better! ;p  Arigatou!