-1Okay, this is just something I wrote for Literature class at school because we were reading the Tell Tale Heart, and then we had to write a 'suspenseful paragraph.' Thankfully, I got an A plus on this(but I'm not bragging or anything) and I just wondered what others thought of this, so I posted it on here. I don't own anything Poe-related, but I own this parody, so no lawsuits please! Review please and thnx u!

The Tell-Tale Test

A parody of the Tell-Tale Heart

Every day I had to live with the terror of 5th hour creeping up to ruin my life. Math. The terror even had a name that could hardly describe its maliciousness. I personally like to call it "My death certification written up in formulas that constantly change with every step and have a mind of their own." But that's just me. I have heard that every time you solve a problem, another person's mind is dieing and rotting away because it is just too much for them. It's okay, we've all been there, and if you haven't, then we have reason to look at you suspiciously.

Don't get me wrong. Math is fun once you understand something. You think you can master the world, until that dreaded test befalls you, and the same concept you just studied at home pops up, but with the happy little twist math brings, you suddenly feel the urge to run from it. Your blood runs cold and you see your life; your happy, cuckoo-bananas life, flash before your eyes. Then you remember you have ten more problems to do, and that's when you know, Math won't allow you to finish. Normally, people are like, "Ugh, that's life and that's math, so deal with it." They think someone with my perspective is crazy. I'm perfectly fine. Math may be crazy, but I'm certainly not.

I can't stand the way it stares at me intimidatingly when I do my homework. It's driving me insane! (Which of course, I'm not)

I have been starting to stare back at it, when it's not looking, thinking about how I will overcome this evil, this great, great, evil. One day, the very eighth day since I have been rebelling against it, I was about to receive yet another test, on which, Math might defeat me again. I go through the test, confident, since I have studied two hours more than I normally do, in rebellion of this evil. Math looks at me anxiously, knowing I will defeat its formulas, and yes, even the story problems. I even I think I hear its cold, black heart beating, like from that Poe story with the crazy guy.(But I'm not crazy) I smirk and hand it in. If only Mrs. Lelli(my Algebra teacher) knew what I have accomplished. Oh well.

The day I received the test, I was confident, even jubilant knowing I have done well. Wait, is that Math's heart beating again? Nah, I'm not crazy, so of course not. I see Mrs. Lelli walking up, passing the tests back. I start to get nervous, like I have just gone upwards fifty times on the Power Tower at Cedar point. I talk with the person next to me animatedly, hoping to cover up not only Math's pulsing heart, but my own. I talk more fluently, watching everybody's hypocritical smiles at me, somehow knowing that they have done well. My breathing grows more ragged and shallow. I talk more, almost gasping the words until my throat stops in a little ball, refusing to create more sound. Then, Mrs. Lelli, taking the role, unknown to her, as the Bringer of Doom, walks up to me and says, " You didn't get an A…"

I couldn't handle it. I run out of the room, yelling, " I killed Math! I admitted it! Stop your inhumane derision!" Mrs. Lelli simply stands there.

"…you got an A plus …"

The End

For anyone who cares, I capitalized Math to give it personification (and YES, that is a term!) Well, I hope you liked my interpretation of something so horribly gloomy. XDD If I write something else for this category, then I'll be sure to include more old-person killing. Read and Review, and you shall find the light!