A Different Call, an agents of s.h.i.e.l.d. fanfic

Full Summary:

"You know how you said we could "Talk". There were things I couldn't tell you. Things I had to keep buried."

He wanted to tell her though. God, he wanted to tell her things he'd never told anyone. It was like she had some sort of magnetism, Ward was just a flake of metal drawing towards her orbit. He wished he could tell her everything: come clean, confess, beg for her forgiveness, make her understand. If anyone could understand it would be Skye. But what if she didn't? He wasn't sure he could live with that. He's not sure he could go back to being alone, the dark twisted thing he was, he'd rather die.

Ward stared at Skye. He couldn't tell her now. But he would, he'd tell her everything.

Or four times Ward could have made a different call and didn't and one time he did. AKA Grant Wards redemption arc

This is my one-shot contribution to chocolatebox2019 as a gift for failsafe over on AO3! It diverges from season 1 episode 17: turn turn turn. Hope you enjoy !

"She's a sleeper. She's been reporting on us this whole time."

Ward blinked as Coulson deposited May's unconscious form on the floor. He shot a confused look at Coulson. May a sleeper? May was Hydra? Yeah, right. That woman may have grey morals, but she wasn't the type. She wasn't like him. There was no way.

His lip quirked upwards the team had no idea what they were getting into and they'd just knocked out their best for being a traitor and left her alone with the real traitor. Well, that was just his luck.

Ward could see May stirring. Her arm twitched faintly before her eyes flickered open. He flipped around on his chair to get a better view. Could she be Hydra was he not good enough to spot a fellow mole? He'd been chewing on that for the last hour, doubt entered his mind the longer he waited. It looked like now he might finally get an answer.

"Coulson said you're an informant. Want to elaborate on that?"

"No. Damn Icer, my head is killing me." May rolled forward, testing the handcuffs as she tried to get her bearings.

"You're good. I mean I always knew you were good. But, you've been playing us the whole time, conning me, Coulson," He let awe slip into his voice. The lie was easy for Ward. If Hydra was good at nothing else, it was good at ensuring it's sleeping agents could lie. The irony didn't escape him as he stared down at May's disoriented form that their roles could be easily reversed. If the team was a little less trusting that could be him down there, iced and in handcuffs. As always though providence shined down on him and he'd survive another day.

"I wasn't conning anyone. I had your backs." May's even voice echoed around the interrogation room.

"And reported on us behind them." Ward leaned in closer. A technique they'd taught him long ago in the academy to build trust and break the victim down. It was odd trying it on May. The woman didn't give an inch as she met his eyes. He'd always liked that about her. The woman had balls the size of Texas. Good thing he liked a challenge, he smirked internally, this would be the performance of a lifetime and only he would ever know.

He took in a sharp breath, "You know you always told me to keep my emotions in check, but this is some next level sh—"

"You should have listened, you shot a man in cold blood."

He shot a man to preserve Garrett's cover nothing more nothing less. He wished he'd listened to her speech about emotions, but not for the reason she thought. He wished he hadn't grown attached to the team: the geeky FitzSimmons, Coulson with too much heart, even May with her overprotective streak a mile wide, and Skye, sweet optimistic Skye. Hell— even the stupid bus was becoming something reminiscent of home. Not that Ward knew much about what that was meant to feel like. If he'd never gotten attached, it sure would've made his job now a hell of a lot easier.

She was expecting an answer. An answer the loyal Agent Ward would give.

"It was to protect the team!" That rang out truer than expected. He frowned.

"It was to protect her!" May shot back with a glare.

Ward ground his teeth. Skye— she was… she couldn't die. He wouldn't allow her to die. She was special different, compassionate. The type of woman Ward thought existed only in fairy tales.

He peered down at her, trying to piece out what she must be thinking right now. Any sign of emotion was wiped from her face and in its place stood her usual impassive mask. It was obvious she wasn't Hydra. Ward stood up from his chair, straightening as he heard someone approaching from outside. Well, the show had to go on. There was a plan and who was he to go against it?

"It's suicide!" Skye said her grip on his arm tightening. Concern was laced through her warm brown eyes. Ward looked away. He couldn't handle that right now.

"Only if I die."

Skye sucked in a quick breath of air. She was soft, he needed her away from here. Away from Hydra and all of this. Skye and the whole team needed to be far away until this whole fiasco rolled over. Then whoever won S.H.I.E.L.D or Hydra the team could safely rejoin without getting involved in the bloodbath.

"Maybe I deserve it. I killed an innocent man Skye," He deserved death, but not for this. He'd done so many worse things than this. He'd shoot that man again in an instant but lying to Skye was one sin he wasn't sure he could live with.

"You didn't know. It was to protect the team."

"It was to protect you!" He blinked in surprise. That wasn't what he intended to say. That was… it was true though. He had to do that, or Garrett would have done a lot worse to her than shoot her in the stomach. It was necessary. It had to be, or he wasn't sure he could live with it.

He felt so vulnerable around her like all his layers were pulled apart, laid bare for all to see, "When we get out of this maybe we could get a drink?"

Skye startled, "Are you—?"

Was he asking her on a date?

Yeah, he was. If they both made it out of this alive and she didn't hate his guts, then he would tell her. He'd tell her everything.

"You know how you said we could "Talk". There were things I couldn't tell you I had to keep buried."

But what if she didn't?

He wasn't sure he could live with that. He's not sure he could go back to being alone, the dark twisted thing he was, he'd rather die.

Ward stared at Skye. He couldn't tell her now. But he would, he'd tell her everything.
Skye leaned forward and kissed him lightly on the lips. It was gentle, warm. His heart fluttered.

"When you make it out of this yes."

Skye and him made it back just in time to see Coulson and Victoria Hand marching out with their guns trained on a bloody Garrett.

That was… unexpected. Garrett losing wasn't something he was familiar with. The man seemed to move the world to his wishes, it was a rare day when things didn't go his way.

"He's the clairvoyant," Coulson said in explanation, "Turns out he's Hydra. We're sending him to the fridge."

Ward pretended to act shocked, tightening his voice with emotion and stiffening his shoulders, "He was my S. O. I'd like to turn the key on that icebox myself."
He owed Garrett. He owed him everything for saving him from himself and pulling him out of that hell hole.

"He fooled all of us, Ward. Lied to us for years." Coulson tried to placate.

"I spent years with that bastard. Looked up to him. I want to see him suffer." Ward growled out. Damn, he should be getting an Oscar for this performance.

Hand nodded in approval, "I could always use another skilled agent."

Ward snorted internally, that wasn't his goal. He needed to know if Garrett said anything. If he let the game slip for some purpose. Ward wasn't going to sit in a cell for the rest of his life or worse be put down.

He nodded curtly and fell in line behind Hand. He wasn't sure what he would do yet, but his instincts told him he needed to wait and watch, so he would.

Garrett looked at him as he sat shackled drying blood on his head from his tussle earlier. For the past half-hour since they'd left the runway his mentor was uncharacteristically quiet, appraising the situation. The silence permeated the flight cabin. Ward couldn't say he minded.

"What do you think Agent Ward?" Hand asked, her gun flicking towards Garrett, "You shot the wrong clairvoyant before, care to shoot the right one?"

Ward loaded the pistol slowly mulling the idea over in his head. Could he shoot Garrett? The thought had crossed his mind before. It would be so easy one shot is all it would take. One shot to break from his past and start over start over with Skye. No one would ever have to know. He could finally bury the past.

Then he met Garrett's eyes. They conveyed complete trust, the man couldn't even fathom Ward turning his gun on him. The dog should not bite the hand that fed it.

He remembered the first time Garrett had put a shotgun in his hand. Told him to man-up that he could be more, that he could do something with his life.

He lifted the gun slowly, pointing it at Garrett. Garrett blinked lazily and leaned back further into the metal bench.

He fingered the trigger. It was time.

There was only one thing he could do.

He thrust the gun to the left and fired a bullet into each of the agents on either side of Garrett. Victoria Hand's eyes filled with recognition and her mouth formed an oh. Then she was falling to the floor, dead.

He watched the blood pool around Victoria hand's hair. She was dead they were all dead. They'd never seen it coming he was a snake in the grass, the monster no one ever expected. Garrett let out a laugh and then he was rambling.

Ward tuned him out. For the second time in Ward's life, he could feel that he'd made a terrible mistake. The imagined future was gone through one pull of the trigger. He'd destroyed it himself. He was a weapon, nothing more nothing less. He didn't deserve a happy ending and he didn't deserve her.

Ward hung up the comm with Skye.

Garrett cackled next to him, "That straight man act I can't believe it. Not even Romanov could pull that off."

He clapped Ward on the shoulder. Ward brushed him off.

"Shooting Skye was not part of the deal!" He couldn't keep the real accusation out of his voice. That was never something he intended to happen. Rage boiled under his skin just thinking about it.

"If you had a thing for the girl you should have told me," Garrett said cocking his head to the side. It was like he was a fly in a spider's web. He felt vulnerable like he was being dissected. Somehow the man always knew what to say to get under his skin it was as if he was nothing more than a puppet.

He glared at his mentor, "Don't manipulate me! The job was no contact!"

"Yeah, but jobs change. You adapted clearly, maybe even got something sweet out of the deal." Garrett stretched his arms out in front of him and gave him a knowing smirk.

Ward bit back a growl, "The job was to blend in—"

Garrett snorted, "You would have an easier time if I gave the kill order week one."

Ward swallowed. He wasn't wrong and that was the most disgusting part. If Garrett had sent him in to assassinate Coulson's whole team he would have done it no questions asked. Now though, now he was weak. Skye made him weak.

No, that was a lie. He made himself weak.

"The girl I get she's cute. But don't forget what the assignment was or who gave it to you or why."

A voice in the back of his head told him he should shoot the man and go back to his team, back to Skye.

He couldn't though because deep down Grant Douglas Ward was a coward and cowards never took the high road.

Skye, she hated him.

She'd told him she'd hated him as she spat out every vicious thing she could think of.

He'd tried to make her understand. He wanted to ease her into it, then in the dinner in California, she'd tried to turn him over, called him a Nazi. He wasn't this was never about Hydra. Sure, Hydra was part of the mission, part of Garrett's goal. It wasn't him.

She told him she'd hated him, and it was like all the lights went out in the world.

Everything around him seemed to dull and the sky crashed around his head. It wasn't supposed to go like this. If someone as inherently good as Skye couldn't understand no one could.

Resolve solidified in his mind. The mission hadn't changed. Emotion was weakness kill it.

He was in the woods by himself again, only his wits to rely on. He was the only person he could trust, the only person he could love. He was alone, and he would survive.

But then she didn't let him die.

Maybe she didn't hate him after all.

She'd said he was a serial killer that he deserved to die. She'd spat it at him like it was acid.

Then when Deathlok was about to give her what she'd desired, while he was on the floor spasming, his heart trying to tear its way out of his chest, she'd given up the encryption key to make it stop.

That had to mean something. It had to.

Maybe she could forgive him?

Fitz stumbles onto the plane. The Hydra agents catch him easily. He's a scientist, not a fighter. When Ward sees him, his arms are locked behind him as he's dragged along. His heart skips a beat. Coulson had saved Skye the team was supposed to stay away.

It was over! Why couldn't they just stay away?!

Ward buried the temporary weakness down deep. He didn't need that now.

Garrett thrust his chin out and the nearest agents began a pat down. Whatever Fitz was doing here Ward held no reservations that the little Scottish man was in way over his head. The guard emptied Fitz's pockets holding them in front for inspection.

In the center of the man's palm rested a penny, a paper clip, and a joy buzzer. Ward frowned.

"Real jokester here," Garrett said inspecting the items.

"Yeah, you know me," said Fitz, "Real jokester here."

Then he dove, knocking one of the guards aside long enough to dive and hit the button on the joy buzzer.

The lights flashed and sparked as the electronics around then exploded.

"The hell was that!" Ward demanded, shoving at Fitz.

"An emp looks like the jokes on you." Fitz looked smug, his face far too optimistic for the hornet's nest he just kicked, "I'm glad that I did it."

Garrett collapsed to the floor behind him. He looked pale as his electronic modifications failed and his organs began to shut down.

Shit. He wasn't ready for this.

"You're dead," Garrett growled. Ward crouched down next to his mentor. He was struggling to breathe. He needed treatment stat. Ward knew his state had declined over the years, but he didn't know it was this bad. He needed to help him, get him to someone who could fix this.

"Get out everyone! Everyone get out."

Ward could hear the panic in his voice. Was he panicking?

No, he was Grant Ward he didn't panic. This situation was spiraling out of control.

"You don't have to take orders from him anymore. Just let him die he deserves to die!"

Fitz's words echoed around the room. He was so helpful, so naïve. As if it was that simple as if Ward wasn't responsible for his own actions.

Poor Fitz. Grant hated to disappoint him, "I said get out!

"Ward!" Fitz cried as the agents dragged him down the hallway. He'd deal with Fitz after he saved Garrett.

"I want you to put down Fitz and Simmons for me."

Ward froze as he tried to stabilize Garrett. The man was laid out across one of the bus's beds. He was still conscious, but if they didn't get him down to Cybertek soon he wouldn't last much longer.

"No! There's plenty of time-"

Garrett grabbed his hand. His palms were clammy, but his grip was firm, "I'm telling you to cross them off for me," His lips twitched downwards," That's not a weakness is it?"

"No." He pulled his hands away and finished injecting the stabilizing agent.

"You take care of them and the people at CyberTek will take care of me."

Why did his team have to complicate everything?

When he finds Fitz and Simmons again after Garrett issued his order they've locked themselves in a storage pod. Their palms are pressed against the glass as they pant. Simmons is clutching at Fitz's arm.

"I need to understand," Fitz said as Ward came fully into view.

"You need to accept the truth. We mean nothing to him." Simmons said bitterly.

Ward stepped closer to the glass of the door. Fitz's eyebrows were drawn together as he stared like there was a puzzle he just couldn't figure out.

"No, we're friends. We've had laughs together!"

"Open the door, Fitz."

"I know you're a good person Ward you can choose right now to be good."

"On my word open up the door."

Fitz took one appraising look at Ward and then at Simmons, "No."

"Okay, have it your way."

He stepped away from the pod and back towards the airlock release button.

The panic from FitzSimmons was immediate. They banged desperately on the glass, trying to pull his attention back to them.

"Wait"

"WARD!"

"Think about this!"

"Don't do it, Ward!"

"You have a choice."

His hands faltered before he could touch the switch.

Is this what he wanted?

Garrett wanted them dead. But Garrett also told him to be his own man. To trust no one. He'd asked Ward what he wanted all those years ago. He'd told him he'd have a choice. But, he'd never really. Every move was a well-placed manipulation. Garrett knew it. Ward knew it.

Hell, that was practically Hydra's slogan: Manipulation minds since 1939.

Maybe, he couldn't kill Garrett. He owed the man everything after all, but he also couldn't kill FitzSimmons.

Well, this was a choice and he was making it, for once in his life he was making a choice he knew he wouldn't regret.

A loud thump echoed around the plane as Fitz pressed his face to the glass trying to make eye contact, "Look at me! I know you care about us Ward!"

"I know. I do that's why I'm doing this."

FitzSimmons cringed away from the glass as they awaited something horrible. Ward couldn't help it he laughed.

The two slowly opened their eyes when they realized they weren't dropping out of a plane at a high altitude.

"If you're going to kill us get on with it!" Simmons said in her proper English accent.

Ward laughed louder. For once in his life, he felt free.

The two scientists' eyebrows climbed ever higher onto their foreheads.

"I think we've broken him."

"No," Ward said holding his hand to his chest as he tried to catch his breath, "Look I… I surrender."

"We're locked into the storage pod and you surrender?" Simmons asked incredulously, "What kind of game are you playing?"

"There's no game. It's just me. I can't expect you to understand but I owe Garrett everything. I can't kill him, and I can't sit by and watch him die. I have a duty. But I won't kill the two of you either."

"Well, that's very reassuring," Simmons mumbled as she tugged at the bottom of her sweater.

"I think we should trust him."

"Fitz!"

"No look, Jemma. If he wanted to kill us he already could have. The fact that we're still talking means something."

"He's already betrayed us! He kidnapped Skye!" Ward winced, "He's helping Nazis!"

"No, Jemma I told you before we came on board. Ward is good."

Something warm bubbled up from Ward's stomach. He batted it back down. Now wasn't the time for feelings. He'd deal with those later, along with Skye and the hell May would rain down on him. Right now, he needed a plan.

"Look you two, stop bickering." Ward commanded, the two scientists stopped midsentence, "Look I want to get you two out of here but we're thirty-thousand feet in the air—"

"Are you coming with us?" Fitz asked. And oh, god the kid's face was so sincere.

"I… I can't. I have a duty."

"That's bullshit, Ward."

Jemma eyed the two of them warily.

"Look, Fitz, you don't know the shit I've done. I could have killed everyone on the team hundreds of times over. I almost did. I shot an innocent man just to cover for Garrett!" By the end of the sentence, Ward was yelling. He didn't even remember raising his voice.

"I can't pretend to know what you've done Ward or why you did it all I know is that you didn't kill us. I know you, Ward. That time we spent together, you can't tell me it was all fake, that the bus isn't your home, that we're not your family."

Ward let out a twisted laugh at that, "Then I'm the kind of scum that betrays family. Skye hates me now and Coulson is probably going to gut me the next time he sees me, not to mention what May will do. If you were my family I don't deserve you and I don't deserve a happy ending. Monsters don't get happy endings. Now, I'm going to leave my gun here and walk out of this room. I take it you two can figure something out from there?"

He carefully slid his weapon out of its holster and set it on the floor in front of the storage pod, then he turned and headed towards the door.

Something grabbed him from behind and on instinct Ward went to flip it off, only to have a weight suddenly latch onto him from the other side.

"What are you two doing!?" He hissed.

"Isn't it obvious? We're hugging you," Simmons said, her eyes dripping. He gawked as tears spilled onto his shirt.

"It's a sign of affection and comfort," Fitz added.

Ward's mouth dropped open. These two had no sense of self-preservation. For two geniuses what were they thinking? His whole speech could have been a ploy. He could have snapped their necks right now.

Still, oddly enough this felt… nice?

"You might not be on the Deathlok program, but clearly Garrett must have messed with your head quite a bit for you to be saying something like that."

"That doesn't matter—" He started.

"No, shut up, Ward. You're not a monster." The Scotsman squeezed him tighter.

Simmons' softer voice filtered through, "Families forgive. Please come with us."

Families forgive? What did that mean? His birth family certainly didn't forgive. Garrett… well, Garrett demanded perfection in everything and mistakes were harshly punished. What on earth did that mean to forgive? Ward had never forgiven anyone in his life, including any deities that may exist out there. Yet, here were two scientists barely out of there teens that were trying to comfort him.

God Garrett was right he was weak, but at that moment, he couldn't say he minded.

His throat tightened his voice was barely above a raspy whisper as he managed to get two words out:

"I'll go."

Author's Note: And there you have it! I actually wanted to write some more scenes that Ward could have potentially told someone/done something different but I didn't have time in my schedule. Maybe sometime in the future. And in case you didn't notice FitzSimmons are my favorite pair, outside of Skye I always felt Fitz had the best chance of reaching out to Ward, so that's reflected here. Anyways hope you enjoyed!