If I'm honest, I don't really know what this is. The idea came to me, I'd already said that I'd post more KHR oneshots, so I wrote it down. Reviews would be nice, flames would not.
I do not own Katekyo Hitman Reborn!.
Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale...
THUD.
Fran blinked slowly, the blurry world around him slowly coming into focus. He was lying in his bed, thick sheets washing up to his chin. The pillow under his head was soft and fluffy, and cool enough to have kept him in a comfortable slumber. His blankets weren't suffocating, his pillow wasn't lumpy or hot... so what had woken him up?
Oh, yeah. The noise.
Fran breathed out a small sigh before sitting up, raising a hand to rub the sleep out of his eyes. The morning light was dim, filtering into his bedroom through a gap in the curtains and giving his room a faint glow. It must have been quite early, and Fran had been living with the Varia long enough to know that none of the core members were morning people. So unless one of them had pulled an all-nighter, watching films or doing a mission or God-knows-what-else, he couldn't think of a reason as to why someone would be awake at this hour.
Nothing else followed the noise. There had just been a heavy thud and then silence, no swearing or shouts or the infamous "Voi!". Just... nothing.
Fran slumped forwards, muffling a tired yawn with his hand, before kicking his blankets away and swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. The eleven-year-old then rose and headed towards his door, making sure to grab hold of his frog hat and push it onto his head on the way (because God forbid he walk around around without it on, as Belphegor and Mammon would throw what Master Mukuro had once described as a 'hissy fit').
As he lazily shuffled through the mansion, Fran had to continuously swipe at his eyes to get rid of the tired fuzziness that blurred his vision, only confirming his suspicion that, yes, it was very early. So whoever was down there, they had better be doing something good. Or at least doing something that Fran could use as potential blackmail material.
Folding his arms over his pajama shirt, Fran was about to start wandering around the bottom floor in hopes of stumbling across whoever was down there, but something quickly caught his attention. A very faint sound was echoing from the living room, the volume too low to tell what was actually being said. Fran raised his eyebrows. Someone was down here watching the television? Curiosity piqued, Fran headed towards the living room and stood in the archway that linked it to the hallway.
And then he did nothing but stare.
Sprawled all over the living room were the sleeping forms of the other Varia members. Squalo was sitting upright on the couch but was fast asleep, his head tipping over the back of the seat as he slept facing the ceiling, mouth hanging open with dry drool frozen in place on his chin. Belphegor was sleeping on the couch as well, face buried in one of the cushions, except he was lying across it and using Squalo as a pillow for his feet.
Lussuria was stretched out across the armchair, legs dangling over one of the arm-rests as his head hung over the other, looking like a human-sized, lifeless doll. Mammon, who had been freed of the Arcobaleno curse and was now no longer a baby, was stretched across the living room floor with a thin blanket wrapped around him, his head not resting on a pillow but instead a hardcover dictionary placed under his cheek.
Levi was probably the person whom Fran stared at the longest. He was seated cross-legged in the far corner of the room, back turned way from the others, making him look like a student who had been put in the naughty corner in school and forced to wear a 'dunce' hat. His head was bowed and pressed against the wall, sleeping soundly as he faced the floor.
Xanxus was the only Varia member not present, and torn between being amused and slightly freaked out, Fran couldn't decide if that was a good thing or a bad thing.
So, a very large majority of the core Varia members were fast asleep in the living room, and the very faint sound that had been emanating from there, Fran realized, was the television. It had been playing a DVD, and the screen was currently frozen on the main menu of the film. From what the eleven-year-old could tell, it was some low-budget horror movie. And judging from the empty bottles of alcohol that were scattered across the room, Fran could safely assume what had gone down while he had been asleep.
So what the hell had the thud been? Levi's head crashing against the wall?
The answer came a lot quicker than Fran had expected. As he was musing over the potential scenarios, Belphegor stretched out in his sleep like a cat, his feet pointing across Squalo's lap. His feet soon came into contact with a small side-table, which was originally the home for the remote. Fran walked into the room and peered around the couch, and surely enough, the remote was now on the floor, back broken off and the batteries rolled out. Fran rolled his eyes. The remote falling and breaking had woken him up, but not the people that were within five feet from it?
Belphegor was still stretching in his sleep and his pointed feet suddenly jerked forwards, managing to make contact with the small table and make it tilt.
The table rocked back on its two right legs, wobbled, and crashed onto its side with a bang.
Despite the remote not waking the assassins, the table somehow did the trick, and everyone was quickly startled out of sleep. Squalo woke up with a jolt, blinking rapidly against the dull morning light, and Belphegor followed shortly afterwards, letting out a soft groan and moving his head to the side to rub his face. Lussuria snapped his head upwards, letting out a confused, "Wha..." as he straightened his glasses. Levi was woken from his slumber with a hiss as he raised his head, softly grumbling about his neck pain as he rubbed the space between his eyes. Mammon sat up slowly, blanket wrapped around his body, and ran his tongue over his teeth, grimacing.
Fran did a mental face-palm. Oh, good grief...
All of the now-conscious members slowly gathered their bearings, gingerly looking around the room as the assault of headaches began. Fran folded his arms again.
"Good morning," he greeted flatly, amusement flickering in his eyes as five heads swung around to face him in surprise.
"Oh, God," Squalo muttered in response, leaning forward and resting his head in his hands.
"Hello, Fran-chan," said Lussuria, offering a weak smile.
"So," Fran started, casting another glance around the room, "what happened?"
"Uh..." Lussuria hummed sheepishly, rubbing his temples. "We were watching a film, and it was really bad so we got bored and brought some drinks in."
"Hmm," Fran mumbled, peering over at Mammon. "So, is training off today?"
"Shut the hell up," Mammon growled, which Fran's mind quickly translated to, "Damn straight it is."
"Get us some painkillers, Frog," Belphegor commanded, voice muffled as he shoved his face into the cushion again.
"Why? This isn't my problem."
"We'll make it your problem if you don't get us some painkillers soon," Squalo snapped, raking a hand through his hair.
"Y'know, you'd look a lot more threatening if you didn't have drool on your chin."
Squalo's face reddened, and he swiftly raised his head to wipe away the saliva. Levi slowly turned around to face them. "Get me a wet cloth while you're at it," he said, squinting over the light to look at him.
Fran drummed his fingers against his elbows, giving a small smirk. "What will Boss say about this?"
"He won't give a damn," Squalo responded immediately.
"We will have to clean up, though," Levi groaned. "I knew this was a bad idea."
"Really? You didn't seem to think so when you challenged Luss to that shot contest," Belphegor grinned, making Levi shoot him a weak glare.
Fran gazed at them evenly, face turning serious. How in God's name had he slept through this? After watching the exchange, Fran cleared his throat to get their attention.
"What?" Squalo snapped, rubbing his entire face in case there was more drool he had missed.
Fran stared before finally stating, "You're all grounded."
Mammon snarled, tugging the blanket around his shoulders. "Go and get us the goddamn painkillers."
Rolling his eyes, Fran turned on his heel and headed towards the kitchen.
And these people were dangerous assassins? These people were demonic killers? These people were Varia quality?
Fran shook his head and gathered up glasses of water, heaving out a fond sigh.
Just another Sunday morning in the Varia mansion.