I've had all types of wounds inflicted upon me. I was blown up, burnt, shot, stabbed---you get the picture. And all those healed made me stronger, more alert. They hurt like hell and I had no desire to repeat that type of physical pain ever again.
But it's ironic what I'll put my heart through. It wasn't enough to just have it beat around like a plaything; I had to let it get stabbed, shot and shattered to make me see the truth. In a world of make believe, I fell into an illusion of love that was meant to be, and boy was that a mistake.
He never wanted me. It hurts to know that but it's the truth. I would love to say that he doesn't deserve me, but that would be just another foolish deception. I'm not what he needs, want, or thinks about.
That's why I left, I couldn't bare what I saw, his lips on hers-it made me so hot with anger then frozen in sadness. For a week I wondered around Tokyo, wondering, waiting for him to notice me. But his eyes were for that child that waltzed into his life, taking what was mine.
I didn't know what to do, until Hotsuma made me an offer. I wasn't too thrilled to be in a partnership at first, but he was fast and an excellent thief. Not better than me of course, but good. And that's when my heart, selfishly and only physically started to stray from its brokeness.
He was nice to me, always saying sweet things that I actually *wanted* to hear. Yeah, it wasn't him who I wanted to hear it from but that one wasn't going to be thinking about me anytime soon. And I knew he wanted me, liked me-loved me even, but I was so gutted inside that he didn't have a chance.
Don't get me wrong, and don't mind my tears, but I did sleep with him a few times. But each time---my heart screamed and cried that it was a betrayal to Tenchi. I would let my mind take over, and Hotsuma would melt away as a memory played into my mind; nothing spectacular, just happy memories of home.
Sometimes I would wake up at night, and feel his warmth against my skin and let a single tear fall, tricking myself into believing it was Tenchi, not Hotsuma. My sleepy mind would except it, and a smile would play upon my lips.
I'm still here with Hotsuma, having a blast. But being torn up from head to toe on the inside. I just wanted you, Tenchi. But you wanted that child---a normal boring little girl that had something I didn't-innocence.
But it's ironic what I'll put my heart through. It wasn't enough to just have it beat around like a plaything; I had to let it get stabbed, shot and shattered to make me see the truth. In a world of make believe, I fell into an illusion of love that was meant to be, and boy was that a mistake.
He never wanted me. It hurts to know that but it's the truth. I would love to say that he doesn't deserve me, but that would be just another foolish deception. I'm not what he needs, want, or thinks about.
That's why I left, I couldn't bare what I saw, his lips on hers-it made me so hot with anger then frozen in sadness. For a week I wondered around Tokyo, wondering, waiting for him to notice me. But his eyes were for that child that waltzed into his life, taking what was mine.
I didn't know what to do, until Hotsuma made me an offer. I wasn't too thrilled to be in a partnership at first, but he was fast and an excellent thief. Not better than me of course, but good. And that's when my heart, selfishly and only physically started to stray from its brokeness.
He was nice to me, always saying sweet things that I actually *wanted* to hear. Yeah, it wasn't him who I wanted to hear it from but that one wasn't going to be thinking about me anytime soon. And I knew he wanted me, liked me-loved me even, but I was so gutted inside that he didn't have a chance.
Don't get me wrong, and don't mind my tears, but I did sleep with him a few times. But each time---my heart screamed and cried that it was a betrayal to Tenchi. I would let my mind take over, and Hotsuma would melt away as a memory played into my mind; nothing spectacular, just happy memories of home.
Sometimes I would wake up at night, and feel his warmth against my skin and let a single tear fall, tricking myself into believing it was Tenchi, not Hotsuma. My sleepy mind would except it, and a smile would play upon my lips.
I'm still here with Hotsuma, having a blast. But being torn up from head to toe on the inside. I just wanted you, Tenchi. But you wanted that child---a normal boring little girl that had something I didn't-innocence.