just a couple of notes before i start. this is a tenth doctor story. for my set of circumstances regarding susan's presence in the tardis, please see my story "the unearthly child." you really don't have to take it seriously, though...
i got the idea for making this ages ago whilst doing baking in my gran's kitchen. i promptly set a mental note to write it, then completely forgot about it. making rock buns today at my gran's, i remembered, and decided that it had to include chocolate bugs (they are the BEST!!). however, i needed something to burn, so i looked through my recipe books and found banana bread. the doctor. bananas. it was perfect.
if anyone wants the full recipes to either the chocolate bugs or the banana bread, feel free to send me a note, and i'll type it up for you. bear with me, though, the quantities are listed in uk imperial and metric.
and now, let us go to the insanity that is...
Bakery and Thievery
Susan looked cautiously round as she entered the TARDIS. The Doctor and Donna had said they would be out 'till roughly six, but that, of course, was "Doctor-time," which was very different to "other people's-time." She checked her watch. Half-past two. Quickly doing some mental calculations, she nodded. That should be enough time.
With her bag of provisions, she set of for what certainly used to be the TARDIS' galley, and groaned at the clutter. Though clean, there were far too many implements scattered around the place, and more poking out the cupboard. Now she knew why her grandfather tended to insist on eating out, though on Earth this often meant chips, much to Susan's dismay. With an eye on her watch, she quickly tidied up the galley as best as she could, retaining the implements she would require on the worktop, then washed her hands.
From the bag of provisions, Susan withdrew two large bars of cooking chocolate and broke them up into separate bowls. Setting two pans of water on the boil, she placed the bowls over the water and left the chocolate to melt, stirring occasionally. When she deemed it melted enough, she turned to fetch a large can of golden syrup from her shopping. Turning back, she froze as she saw a hand poised over the bowl of white chocolate.
Grabbing a wooden spoon from the worktop, she dealt a killer blow to the back of the thieving hand, chuckling at the exclamation that rang through the galley. She watched, amused, as the hand withdrew behind the kitchen counter.
"Language, Grandfather," she giggled. The Doctor appeared from behind the counter, rubbing his sore hand.
"How did you know I was swearing?" he frowned.
"I know a lot more Gallifreyan than you think, let's leave it at that," said Susan enigmatically, dealing runny tablespoonfuls of golden syrup to both bowls, stirring in 'till it formed a paste. She reached under the counter for some cling film, re-emerging just in time to see the Doctor trying to pinch a bit from the dark chocolate paste. She sighed.
"You'll get some later, okay?" The Doctor pouted like a child, giving her his trademark puppy-dog expression.
"What're you making, anyway?"
"Chocolate bugs," replied Susan, wrapping the pastes in cling film and putting them in the fridge, noting the time on her watch. "The kids used to love them. A big hit at parties."
"So why are you making them today?" Susan shrugged.
"Just felt like it, I guess." Then she frowned. "Why are you back so early? I thought you said six. Even taking into account the hundreds of variables that could end whatever it was you were doing, that doesn't explain why you're back so early."
"I saw you buying chocolate." Susan rolled her eyes and filled the bowls with water, leaving them and the utensils to soak.
"Pre-set the oven to 180 for me, will you?"
She pulled out another mixing bowl from the TARDIS' extensive collection. This was soon filled with butter and sugar, which she steadily began to cream, then added an egg.
"Where's Donna, then?"
"Shopping."
Susan smiled and filled another bowl with flour, baking powder, a dash of nutmeg and salt. She reached for the packet of walnuts and raisins, only to discover it had been removed from the table. With a sigh, she raised her eyes to see the Doctor stuffing the contents into his mouth. Cheeks bulging, he opened his eyes wide innocently.
Susan shook her head despite the grin threatening to appear on her face, and held out her hand for the packet.
"Come one, banana bread's banana bread without walnuts and raisins," she said. The Doctor swallowed.
"Banana bread?" he repeated, his eyes lighting up.
"Banana bread," Susan confirmed, reminded of her own son hanging around in the kitchen as she did her baking. Now she thought about it, Ian rather resembled her grandfather in his current regeneration. Shaking herself out of her reverie, she put on a mock-frown. "But it won't get made if you keep eating the ingredients." She pointed at the door. "Out. Or you might find yourself needing to replace that hand."
"What, again?"
The Doctor trudged out the door like a guilty child. Susan felt a pang of regret, but squashed it down. He'd get some later, that was that. Turning back to her work, she mixed the contents of both bowls together and proceeded to mash the bananas. She frowned, puzzled for a moment. She was sure she'd bought a larger bunch, even though the recipe only needed two. Then she snorted as she realised that the top of the bunch had recently been broken. She'd had no idea the Doctor was so quick fingered!
The bananas were added to the ever growing mixture along with a tiny bit of vanilla essence, then transferred it to the bread tin. Thinking for a moment, she transferred the entire mixture into two smaller bread tins before fetching the oven gloves.
DW
The Doctor peered round the edge of the galley door. Susan had gone, leaving the galley cleaner and tidier than it had been before. He breathed in at the delicious smell wafting from the oven, then crept over to the fridge. Checking again to make sure no one was looking, he opened the door and searched for the chocolate paste. It wasn't there!
He frowned, disappointed. It had looked really nice and sticky, too! Another waft of hot banana-scented air wafted past his nostrils and he turned to look at the oven, peering through the window at the bread baking within. Impatient, he twiddled with the dials of the oven, making it hotter. There, that should speed things up.
DW
Laden with shopping bags, Donna almost fell through the narrow door into the TARDIS.
"Need a hand with that?" asked a cheery voice. She looked up at the Doctor gratefully.
"Yeah, thanks," she puffed, handing him half the bags she had. They carried the shopping over to the far side of the huge control room, then Donna collapsed into the chair at the edge of the room. The Doctor shoved his hands in his pockets and leaned against the console.
"Enjoy yourself, then?" he asked with a smile. Donna closed her eyes and nodded happily.
"Oh, yes." She frowned, opening her eyes. "Can you smell burning?"
The Doctor's eyes opened wide, and with a yelp, he leapt away from the console and through the door to the rest of the TARDIS. Confused, Donna followed him.
The Doctor had run to a galley, from which there appeared to be billowing a lot of black smoke. Donna watched as the Doctor ran to the oven, turned it off and grabbed a pair of oven gloves. He extracted a tin full of a black and charred mess and practically threw it into the sink, yelping, "Ah! Hot! Hot! Hot!"
Choking slightly, Donna tried to look at the burnt offering in the sink through stinging eyes. It looked like pure carbon to her.
"That was...?" she enquired.
"Susan's banana bread," replied the Doctor heavily, proceeding to clear everything up.
"Did she leave you in charge of it, or something?"
"No, she... I kinda fiddled with the dials on the oven... a bit..." The Doctor's voice trailed off in embarrassment.
"Susan's not going to be impressed," muttered Donna. They swapped glances gravely. That was an understatement.
DW
"Anyone fancy a chocolate bug?" asked Susan, offering the plate around. Donna gazed at the little bugs admiringly. Half were dark, with white decoration, and the rest were white with dark patterns.
"Completely unhealthy?" asked Donna.
"Of course," grinned Susan. Donna smiled back and picked up a big fat one from the middle. It was incredibly sweet, but oh-so-good. From the other side of the room, Donna heard the Doctor voice his appreciation of the sweets. Susan hadn't mentioned anything about the burnt banana bread, though she must have found out; the smell of burnt banana still lingered in the TARDIS.
"And what about a bit of banana bread?" asked Susan, setting the plate precariously on the console. Before anyone could reply, she trotted out of the room to fetch the treat. Donna and the Doctor wore identical expressions of confusion. Seeing this upon her return, Susan chuckled.
"I suspected Grandfather might interfere, so I made two loafs instead of one big one. Ian did the same thing, a long time ago. I have a feeling it runs in the family." The Doctor had the grace to blush, and Susan handed out generous slices of banana bread. "Besides," Susan added, "Grandfather's too addicted to bananas for it to be safe with just the one loaf. I did intend for Donna to get some too."