Disclaimer: Yeah, I don't own The Office or any pop culture references made. I don't really own anything… except Violet and Teddy. And if I owned the Spice Girls, I'd be able to get tickets to their reunion tour.

Note: Names in bold mean talking-head interview. And this is set between Women's Appreciation and Beach Games.

Chapter 1

(The scene starts with Violet Kennedy at her desk, typing something up. A minute to give you a better visual of what she looks like: five foot six, long wavy light brown hair that hits four inches below her shoulders, big blue eyes that are outlined in eyeliner, nice little smile, skinny-ish. She tries to look classy but always has to add her own little twist to an outfit… like today, she is wearing a white button-up blouse and a black knee-length skirt, but she is wearing a bright pink lacy camisole underneath the blouse, sexy black t-strap heels, and black nail polish.)

JIM: (Leans back in his chair) So Violet. (Pause) How do you like Dunder-Mifflin so far?

VIOLET: (Shrugs as she continues to type) It's OK, I guess. I don't really know anyone… except for Pam and Teddy.

JIM: No? Well, has anyone besides Michael or myself introduced himself or herself?

VIOLET: (Again, shakes head) Nope.

(Jim leans back in his chair, crossing his arms and staring at Dwight, who is typing furiously.)

DWIGHT: (finally noticing Jim) What do you want, Halpert?

JIM: Nothing, Dwight. I was, uh, just wondering why you didn't give our new sales rep a friendly welcome.

DWIGHT: I don't know what you are talking about.

JIM: Oh, I think you do. She's been sitting here at her desk for almost a week—she knows no one—and you don't give her a warm, friendly Dunder-Mifflin welcome. (We see Dwight starting to feel bad.) Look at her, Dwight. It's a crime that a girl that pretty has to look so glum. (Dwight looks up at Violet.)

VIOLET: (quietly as she clicks a pen) All I want is some friends. They didn't like me at my old job.

JIM: What would Michael say about your rudeness, Dwight?

DWIGHT: (He looks like he's about to cry until he collects himself and stands up.) My sincerest apologies, Miss Violet… (Pauses as he tries to think of her last name.)

VIOLET: Violet Kennedy.

DWIGHT: Kennedy. (He turns to his desk and hands Violet something.) Take this Dwight K. Schrute bobblehead as a sign of my deepest apologies.

VIOLET: (She looks at the bobblehead, then at Dwight.) Thank you Dwight. Your hospitality has touched me. (In a hushed whisper) I'm glad we can be friends.

DWIGHT: (Grabs Violet's hands with his own. Violet, shocked, looks at Jim who looks at the camera, his fist covering his mouth to keep from laughing. Angela looks like she could kill Violet.) Just promise me… (He sighs) Just promise me you'll take good care of him.

VIOLET: (Nods) I will keep a diligent eye on him at all times. In fact… I will put him on my own desk. (Does so. Dwight smiles. Jim bites his lower lip, trying not to laugh. Violet remains serious.) Now Dwight… Jim has to introduce me to other people now. I will see you later.

JIM: (Stands up, his face serious) Have you learned your lesson?

DWIGHT: Oh yes.

JIM: Good. (He and Violet go out to the break room and laugh quietly once they do.)

VIOLET: That had to be the funniest thing that happened to me so far.

JIM: I can't believe you got him to believe you! You are such the actress; my hat goes off to you. (He bows.)

VIOLET: (Curtsies) Oh why thank you, gov'nor. Where do we go from here?

JIM: Um… I don't know.

PAM: (Approaches) I hate to interrupt, but Violet, Michael wants to see you in his office.

VIOLET: Oh. Um, OK. (Walks out, leaving Jim and Pam alone. They awkwardly stand there for a minute, looking at their shoes.) Well, I got to—

JIM: Yeah, I should—

(They part. Cut to Violet going into Michael's office. The door closes, but only seconds later, Violet bursts out and closes the door, covering her ears.)

CAMERAMAN (V.O.): So how do you like Dunder-Mifflin so far?

VIOLET: I walked into Michael's office because he told Pam he needed to talk to me. I went in and heard Michael and Jan having phone sex. That was creepy, especially considering that Michael is REALLY bad at trying to talk dirty. Now I can't even look at Michael. That's how I like it so far. (Shudders)

(Scene cuts to a shot of Teddy George. He is on the phone and doesn't realize the camera is zooming in on him. A visual if you will: five foot eleven, dark brown shaggy hair, blue eyes, and pretty much looks like a Jim Halpert clone… if Jim was all about rock and roll. He wears a blue button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up; his black pants a little loose… and black Chucks, even though it is strictly against dress code. Teddy looks up, sees the camera and turns away.)

TEDDY: How do I like Dunder-Mifflin? Umm… I kind of don't. I'm only here because my parents know Michael and he gave me the job. Mostly because when I was eighteen, Michael almost hit me with his car and he promised my parents that if I ever needed a job, he would give it to me. (Looks at camera) And here I am.

VIOLET: I'm here because of Pam. I went to Ithaca for communications, but so far no one wants me. I was a waitress at Applebee's for a year. So Pam, being the good cousin she is, got me an interview and here I am. (Nods head) Great. (Pause) Three people have asked me if I've had a sandwich in the last three years, including one of the cameramen. This sucks.

TEDDY: Talk about myself, huh? Um… I'm twenty-four. I'm in a band… we call ourselves "Jets to Field." I play the guitar. Our lead singer thought of the name… I hate it, but that was the only name we had… and apparently, "Big Japan" was taken so… (Looks at camera) Damn you, Adam Brody.

VIOLET: I'm twenty-three. I wanted to go college for film, but because my mother is a controlling woman, I took communications in general. I like reading, music, photography, writing, and I LOVE movies. I've been modeling on the side since I was seventeen… but not that kind of modeling; I just take whatever I can. I'm single and have been since I graduated from college and found out my then-boyfriend was sleeping with my best friend.

TEDDY: How do I know Violet? We went to Ithaca together.

VIOLET: Teddy and I went to Ithaca together. We were in the same dorm my sophomore year… he was a junior. The first party of the year, he got drunk and became the Naked Guy. Then, one of his friends tried to date me. That… was not pretty.

TEDDY: My friend Eric took her to see something on ice and they played that one song, "You Light Up My Life" over the loud speakers. And he sang it to her.

(Teddy looks back at Violet, and then turns back to his computer, typing furiously. We hear Violet giggle and type something back. The camera goes back and forth between the two until Dwight looks up and clears his throat. They look like they're going back to work until Dwight actually starts going back to work, then they start up again.)

DWIGHT: Fact: I don't like the two new sales reps because they are very buddy-buddy. Fact: I've learned that alliances almost never work out. Fact: Violet's desk just so happens to be over with my desk and Jim's… and her desk blocks my view of Monkey. (His eyes grow wide.) Fact: I did not just say that. (He jumps at the camera.) Give me that tape!

TEDDY: Dwight kind of scares me. Like he's that guy at work that could just snap… like in that Dane Cook act… I think I'll buy him a candy bar later, so in case he does snap, he'll come to me and remember, "Hey, Teddy gave me candy. He's nice. I'll spare him."

VIOLET: I think Dwight hates me because I made fun of his bobbleheads. But because of Jim, I now have a Dwight K. Schrute bobblehead to use for future blackmail.

MICHAEL: I'm very excited for our two new additions to the Dunder-Mifflin crew. The producers have informed me that our ratings are kind of slipping and I know why… because Jim is with Karen and NOT Pam, that's why. So, I decided to bring in two hot new sales reps to up the ratings… and hopefully, those two will get together and boost the ratings.

VIOLET: Michael said that?

TEDDY: Michael's frigging insane. Although… (Laughs) I'm kidding. Violet and I are only friends.

JIM: Actually, I kind of like the new sales reps. They are two funny kids… like when I got on Dwight's case about not introducing himself to Violet the first day… he gave Violet one of his bobbleheads as a sign of his deepest apologizes. I think I can use them as my newest partners-in-crime.

TEDDY: Jim's cool. Jim is hilarious. I wish I could think up of half of the stuff he does. Jim is the big brother I wish I had. The one I do have beats the crap out of me and calls me a girl. (Pause) He's a Marine… and really good at it.

VIOLET: Jim and I plan on taking that bobblehead and making Dwight pay us a ransom. (Holds up bobblehead) This thing is gonna get me twenty bucks easily... maybe even fifty if I play my cards right.

PAM: I'm glad to be working with Violet. She and I are very close and it's good to have family right near me now… especially with all the, um, stuff going on. And it's nice to have Michael bug someone else.

VIOLET: I'm the oldest of three kids, so my younger brother and sister always come to me for advice. It's good to have Pam to go to when I need advice. Except I want Michael to stop being so fixated on Pam's chest… and mine for that matter. It is not our fault we get our wonderful bosoms from our mothers.

TEDDY: Once those two start talking… (His voice drops to a whisper as he turns to the camera) they don't shut up.

RYAN: (Shrugs) They're OK.

TEDDY: Ryan seems cool.

VIOLET: Who's Ryan? (Thinks) Isn't he the one who Kelly follows around all day? (The cameraman says that it is.) Oh, that's Ryan. (Pauses) He's kind of cute.

KAREN: (Curtly) I don't think we need new sales reps. I think we're doing just fine with the ones we have.

VIOLET: I don't like Karen. And not just because Pam's my cousin and I think Karen is screwing up anything Jim and Pam could have, but because she freaked out when I accidentally stapled something wrong. She acts like she's above me, but really, she and I are at the same level. So she's five years older than me? Big frigging deal.

TEDDY: Karen's really hot. But she seems like a real control freak. That kind of scares me.

ANGELA: I don't care for the new kids. They are like two teenagers. Honestly. All they do is sit there and instant message each other. And when they're not doing that, Teddy's listening to music and Violet's painting her nails or texting.

TEDDY: Angela's kind of uptight. She kind of scares me, especially her pictures of cats and the babies dressed up as adults. But she seemed to invite Violet into the party-planning committee, so maybe she just seems kind of mean, but really isn't. I don't know.

VIOLET: She commanded that I join that party-planning committee and pretty much called me a Nazi-loving Communist if I didn't. Being a fan of democracy, I joined. (Pauses) Doesn't Angela realize that during World War II, Hitler, who was a Nazi, tried doing business with Stalin, a Communist, and Stalin said no because he disagreed with what Hitler was doing? Nazis are Fascists, which believe one national or ethnic group is superior where the idea of Communism is that everyone is equal… sort of? So really, a Nazi-loving Communist is an oxymoron.

ANGELA: (To camera, as if directed to Violet) Bite me, New Girl.

KEVIN: Violet's hot. We need more hot chicks in the office. Pam and Karen are nice, but they're old news.

TEDDY: I was at the water cooler today and Kevin comes up. I told him that I drive a beat up '69 Mustang… and he giggled at the number 69. I think I stopped laughing about that in college. I think.

VIOLET: The only things I've seen Kevin do is eat Twinkies and ogle at all the women here. That's it.

OSCAR: I don't really know the new kids… I just know that they annoy Angela… making her talk about how much she hates them. So if she hates them… they could be OK.

MEREDITH: That Teddy boy is very cute. We could do without Violet… we have enough good-looking women here. We don't have enough good-looking men. We have Jim… and maybe that Ryan kid. But that's it. Women-wise, we have Pam, Karen, myself, and Kelly… maybe Angela if we got her drunk enough.

TEDDY: Meredith's nice and all… but she's very touchy-feely. (Cuts to a shot of Meredith stroking Teddy's arm by the water cooler)

VIOLET: Meredith… I like her. She's half-drunk most of the time… and that's funny. I think I'm going to enjoy watching a drunk Meredith at work parties.

STANLEY: I could really care less about the new kids. The boy needs to cut his hair and the girl needs to wear a sweater with all the perverts in this office.

PHYLLIS: Teddy is like Jim 2.0… he looks and acts like Jim, but he's better.

ANDY: What do I think of the new sales reps? Well… they're smart… but I'm smarter. (Counts off on his fingers) One… I'm older… Two, I have a Cornell education… three… (Pauses) I'm older.

TEDDY: (Laughs) Andy's freaking hilarious, especially when he's unknowingly annoying Dwight. But I don't want to piss him off. I hear he gets mad easily.

VIOLET: How can I describe Andy? Well… I was eating a tuna sandwich and now I'm "Little Tuna." Apparently, Jim is "Big Tuna." Now Jim and I match.

KELLY: I know everyone else may not like the new sales reps, but I think they're just SO great. Like Teddy, for example, oh my god, he is SO funny! And cute, but please don't tell Ryan that! And Violet… oh my Gosh, don't you think Violet looks like Angelina Jolie? Only prettier and not as creepy and not adopting fifty kids and not a home wrecker…

TEDDY: She… kind of scares me. Why is Ryan with her?

VIOLET: I want to chop off her head with something. She… does… NOT… shut… up. And she talks about celebrities all the time. She shouldn't be here; she should be working at People magazine or US Weekly or other gossip garbage like that. I know she means well and her heart's in the right place but… (Pulls at hair) Argh!

TEDDY: Creed… is the one person I'd bring along with me if I somehow got stranded on a deserted island. He looks like he could survive… I mean, sure, I was in Boy Scouts, but I was really bad at trying to survive in the wilderness… and the other boys beat me up… I got beat up by the nerds… (Thinks about that, but quickly adds in) Although I'd probably bring Jessica Alba with me too… in case I get a little too lonely. (Chuckles nervously, but there is still some awkwardness since he spilled that secret)

VIOLET: When Creed and I were listening to the stuff I have on my iPod, I asked Creed what his title was. You know what it is? "Quality Assurance." We shouldn't need that! Our customers should know that our products are good enough to not need assurance! (Looks around tearfully) I'm going to die here, aren't I?

CREED: (Sings) Slam it to the left, if you're having a good time, shake it to the right, if you do it you feel fine, shake it to the front… hi see ya hold tight! (Nods at the camera) Good song. I miss those Spice Girls, especially Baby. She was cute.