It all started the day Uncle Cas disappeared. One minute he was there, standing beside the swings with me and Titan at the park, the next he was gone. Shortly after that dad started to get shaky, we were forced to pack up (only the important stuff of course), closing the door on the only life we knew for something more suitable to a television drama.
Titan was gone, whisked away by dad for some unspoken 'rite' of passage, a male coming-of-age get-away that definitely involved leaving me alone. For hours, without a vehicle so that I might steal away to pick up the cake I had custom made for my brothers birthday. I waited until nearly three before shouldering a small bag and locking the door behind me. If they were going to be like that than I would have to walk, it was unusual for them to be gone for so long without an explanation (dad was good at making those up), but I could only assume they were alright.
Nothing bad ever happened. Our lives were bleak and – for lack of a better word – lifeless. Our primary mode of transportation was some beat-up impala that I had recently started begging dad to get rid of. It was obsolete really, the other kids looked at us funny whenever we missed the bus and dad had to drop us off. We hopped from place to place, school to school, friends to friends, staying long enough to occasionally try on a sport. Dad was antsy most of the time, tweaker-style without the drugs. We knew it had some connection to Uncle Cas poofing on him, but he wouldn't let us get far enough to wheedle any real answers out. Titan wasn't old enough to care at the time and the only reason I held on to it was because dad still carried a picture of Cas around in his wallet.
I almost felt confidant enough to assume he was looking for him.
Why it was so important? That I didn't know, and had no motivation to find out. It was hard enough trying to uphold a social life let alone nit-pick the inner workings of a man who clearly didn't want to be unlocked. It took a minute but I finally made it to the highway, gravel digging into the soles of well-worn sandals, sweat peeking out from under my arms. It was only a matter of time before some do-gooder drove by to ask the unfortunate girl what was wrong. Six minutes in fact, before a suave sedan came creeping to a halt at the side of the road.
"Hey there girlie, you alright?" The woman (what woman drove a sedan like this?) asked, the slightest tone of concern in her voice as she leaned across the seat to get a better look.
"Oh, yeah, I'm fine really. Just hoping for a ride is all, we live down the way and the boys took off with the car. I need to pick up a cake from town," There was no point in shimmying about, that always made them more suspicious than helpful "You think you could help me out?"
She used a few moments to think about it before unlocking the doors.
"Get in."
Just a routine pick-up, I ran inside with the woman's blessing on my heels and a promise to take me back to where she found me. Go figure, she was right there, waiting outside to help me carry the precious cargo to her car (to protect her car.) Just a hop-skip past five and I was slowly meandering my way back toward the cabin, balancing a custom made birthday cake back to the boy who didn't even bother to tell me where he was going. The nerve! Titan was a good kid, that typical jock-type with the soft side, giving him that neverending advantage at almost everything. All the girls swooned for him (and some of the boys too) and dad was so proud it was gross sometimes, stapling A+ papers to the walls of whatever shanty we stayed in.
He was also… not home. Pushing the front door open to set the cake on the table, I stride over to the bed where a pre-pay lied waiting, unassuming. The screen lit up a dark, grungy yellow, spelling out that gut-wrenching 'NO NEW MESSAGES' that made the tips of my digits tingle as I slowly shut the device. They were fine, probably off at some strip-club to break poor Titan into the real world of what being a guy was about. (Or so that's what every other high-school guy I know claims.) It wasn't strange for them to get back at late hours, but it was strange for them to do it after refusing to let me in on their location. Dad never went anywhere without telling us where he was going to be and leaving us a plan in case something happened.
Something… my mind wandered to countless scenarios, impossible scenarios. Dad was too good with his gun, and his knife when he needed to be, no man or animal stood a chance against the over-grown footballer. But Titan… I had no choice but to suffer, suck it up and trust them both. It was his birthday, I had no right to be so possessive, he had been incredibly kind when I turned eighteen, now it was my turn to return the favor. I mean, you only turn eighteen once.
"No STOP!"
My legs wouldn't work fast enough; it was that familiar sensation of being dragged through glue. Everything was moving so fast but I couldn't move with it, passing me by like a whirlwind as I struggled to escape… it. Something I didn't recognize and yet inexplicably knew.
I've never seen it, not once, but I can feel it. Breathing down the back of my neck, lurking through dreams it didn't belong in. Always watching, always waiting for the best time to throw its ominous shadow across my sleep. My comfort, my peace of mind was constantly at stake, every time I closed my – Titan!
"Titan!" I cry, lurching up from the covers. The rush of night hits me like a truck, it is cold, too cold. The air in my lungs gets thick and heavy, the room smells unnaturally stagnant with a hint of something dead to top it off. A mouse? Dad had traps set up here and there; all of the windows are closed so it couldn't have been some animal. The smell is growing progressively more potent with every second, even as I crawl out of bed to tip-toe into the kitchen. It's terribly dark, the nightlight that usually flickers in the corner is out, and the light above the stove seems to have taken the swan dive too. I play with the buttons but I know it's not coming back, leaving me standing alone, shadows playing across the walls.
Why am I alone? My mind is slowly trekking across those earlier scenarios, nerves beginning a solo tune up and down my spine, fear taking a tighter grip on my chest. Dad was never gone this long, I walk around the table to peek into the room that was supposed to house my brother, the brother that wasn't in his bed. His sheets were still snugly tucked around the corners, something dad taught us from a young age. He was into all the military style stuff, said it kept a clean house and therefore kept the nasty away.
"Titan?"
I go for the cell-phone, lying untouched on the nightstand where I left it that afternoon. "NO NEW MESSAGES," no new calls, nothing. Even a voicemail would have made my heart stop racing, where were they? I do the next best thing, I dial out and listen to it ring, ring, ring, ring. Nobody is answering, even the voicemail seems to take forever before it picks up, dad's familiar voice carrying out over the line "This is Sam Winchester, I can't come to the phone right now, leave a message."
"Dad where are you? I'm starting to worry, could you just call me please? Kay, bye." My voice sounds strained, even to me as I shut the mobile and stare at it, sitting there lifelessly in my hand. Time ticks past, five minutes, twenty, nobody returns my call and it smells like somebody might have literally just died. God what was that? "Ugh stupid mouse." Throwing the mobile down I head back to the kitchen, I know dad put down traps but I only knew of one, so hopefully the others wouldn't be too hard to find. Nothing, not a thing, the peanut butter was still in place and if I didn't know better, I would say the smell faded the closer I got.
For the next hour I searched, unearthing several other still-set traps, but no dead mice. Maybe it died somewhere else? There was no telling really and as a whole it was starting to grate on my nerves. Everything was, dad, Titan, the stench of rotting flesh, especially the claw like shadows dancing across the wood paneled walls. Shadows that swayed with a life of their own, reaching, grabbing, making the knot in my stomach twist and turn.
"Dad please pick up the phone, I'm freaking out, this place is freaking me out. Please? Just pick up!" Nothing.
"Hey, it's me again, still waiting for you to call me. Thanks." Nothing.
"Daaaad, please." Nothing.
The sun was rising, dusky oranges and blues streaked through the windows sending the nasty shadows away along with the nastier smell. I sat quietly, rocking against the headboard with the covers wrapped tightly about my shoulders. I didn't dare move until the light had completely illuminated the entire house, banishing every dark spot from my sight.
Now I wasn't one to scare easily, not at shadows, not at things that I encountered every night of my life for as long as I can remember. But last night wasn't right, nothing was right, every aspect of that dark, moonless night was wrong. I turn my eyes to the window; the parking lot is still hopelessly empty of any familiar faces and the cake I had so lovingly made for my brother is long since defrosted. The frosting is seeping down the sides, weeping maybe at the inattention. No, not so, because I was going to eat it. Screw Titan. And dad.
Three days later
"That'll come to four-hundred and sixty-five even!"
"Yeah? Hold on," manicured nails dig around the small snap purse I'd picked up in Austin the day before, seeking out the credit card that had become my life-line. Even now the little blue Chase card helped soothe the rapid fluttering of my heart, because really, if I got caught I'd be going away for life. Thankfully that day was not today, for I pulled the plastic piece out and handed it over with only a slightly guilty conscious. "That should do it."
"Alright just a moment here." It felt like the hand on the clock couldn't move any slower before the matron finally returned the card with a fake smile, her teeth were just a bit too white. "Everything looks to be in order, your flight leaves in two hours and if you see here-" She points at the little numbers "you're seat 4B, if you have any problems just ask the attendant!"
It's as if she knew I've never flown before, reading right through the intermittent trembling in my hands as I gripped my satchel and smiled back.
"Thanks."
The terminal was packed, tight, shoulders being shoved and toes being stepped on. I could only imagine having to deal with this all the time, or better yet – willingly. No wonder dad never flew, the very thought was terrifying, almost more than the last several nights. But no cake, nothing was going to stop me from this. If they were going to abandon me than I was going to make sure they understood their mistake. I was human you know? I had feelings, and right now they were so strung up and all over the place I didn't know what to do. So I pulled out my bucket list and this is number one, something I've always wanted to do and now I finally could. Well… not without a little help from Chase, which I'd found stashed in the wood of the outhouse along with several other notable items.
If they ever decided to come back they would find that I was not as gullible as they assumed I was. I would be half-way across the world and fulfilling life-long dreams instead, like any normal girl who got her hands on daddy's credit. Even as the spokes-person came on over the intercom I wondered if that was really it though, if that was the real reason that I still clenched my fists every time someone bumped me. That… or maybe it was the fear that they wouldn't care, even if they did come back.
Time flew and they called my flight. It all kind of slowed down as I made the decision that would change my life forever. As cliché as that sounded, I don't think I'd change a thing if I had the chance.
NOTE: I'm a cool kid- this is mostly just something I threw up in the back of my head and something that will basically be treated as such. I'm not out for perfect grammar because frankly I'm writing this with a toddler attached to my leg so, same goes for updates; they'll come whenever I get the chance. Hopefully more than once a month ha ha, no promises. Cheers.