A/N: This is the one of the many plot bunnies I got a while back. I've got a four day weekend and I'm too much of a procrastinator to do my homework (theatre, mythology… bleh.). So! Here is this little oneshot! Huh… speaking of mythology, in a way, this is sorta mythology related! O.O Whoooooa! Koinkydink or what? ;D Happy early Easter!
Disclaimer: Sokka, would you do the honors?
Sokka: No! And you can't make me!
Me: Aww, come on!
Sokka: No! No, no, no, no, no! Never!
Me: Not even for a Scooby Snack?
Sokka: A what?!
Me: Wait, wrong animated fictional character… anyways, I don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender (or Harry Potter which is mentioned in here, like, once).
Sokka: Why'd you do that?! I wanted to do the disclaimer!
Me: WHAT?!?!
Cupid
Sokka was sick of it. Sick, sick, sick, sick, sick of it! Day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year, would it never end?!
Aang and Katara, oblivious to the obvious! The two had some serious problems if they couldn't see that they were in love with each other! And then not doing anything about it?! It was just – ugh! So frustrating!
But that's why he was here today. That's why he was doing what he was. Sokka would be their matchmaker, their arranger-er, their bringer-of-love! He would get those two together if it was the last thing he ever did!
He was determined. Sokka was Cupid – no, he was better than Cupid! He didn't need any stupid arrows or frilly wings… although wings would be pretty cool…
There they were… just innocently sitting at the cafeteria table, innocently eating their food, innocently pretending that they weren't head-over-heels for each other! Ooh, Sokka would show them…
Striding quickly over, he took a seat between the two before Aang and Katara could even protest. "Hiya, you two, what's up?"
"Just eating," Aang said, taking another bite of his baked potato. Women food, Sokka thought bitterly.
"So did you hear?" Sokka asked.
"Hear what?" Katara said, rolling her eyes.
"Well, you know those two kids Jaang and Latara?"
"Err… no, I don't think so," Aang said as Katara shook her head.
"Well," said Sokka, grinning evilly, "Jaang and Latara are in love with each other. But they won't tell one another, so they're stuck being friends until one of them gets some guts! Isn't that funny?!"
The two teens just stared at the boy. "Yeah, hysterical," Katara finally said. "And you're telling us this because…?"
"Well, doesn't it sound kind of… familiar?" Sokka looked at Aang right in the eyes, the latter looking confusedly back.
"I… don't think so."
"I don't either," Katara said. "Should we?"
Sokka felt the urge to bang his fist on the table, but resisted. It would blow his cover! Cupid was to always remain in disguise!
"No," he said shakily. "Nooo, of course not! I mean, why would you know anything or anybody like that?!"
Sokka ran away, then, knocking over his chair in the process and not noticing the odd looks Aang and Katara were giving him.
T I M E S K I P
This plan would work… yes, it would work splendidly… Sokka was sure of it. He was Cupid, after all.
Sokka gripped the note that he had carefully forged to look like Aang's handwriting. Now all he had to do was slip it into Katara's locker, she would read it, and BODDA-BING!! The couple of the century would be born! With nobody but Sokka to thank!
He would have TV shows dedicated to his work. Movies, radio shows, video games, computer games! But it wouldn't stop there. He would have merchandise! Sokka plushies, Sokka crazy straws, Sokka fishing nets, Sokka beach towels, Sokka cheese sticks, Sokka shampoo and conditioner, Sokka golf balls, Sokka shirts, Sokka wallets, Sokka wallpaper and carpeting, Sokka blenders, everything! Everyone would worship the ground he walked on! The living Cupid!!
He suddenly noticed the note in his hand. Scheme. Right.
Sokka unnecessarily tiptoed over to locker 23. Katara's locker. He slipped the folded paper through a slot in the locker door… carefully… carefully… It was in! Now all he had to do was sit back and watch…
Sokka hid behind some other lockers and waited in impatience for Katara to show up.
There she was, walking down the hall to her locker, not knowing that she would be on her knees, kissing Sokka's feet in appreciation for what he had done for her –
Wait, what?!
Katara just walked past her locker! But it was the middle of fourth period… Katara always stopped by her locker during fourth period!
And then she stopped.
And opened locker number 32.
Sokka had mixed up the numbers! It was cause enough for tears. At the rate he was working, Aang and Katara would be doomed with friendship for life!!
No. Sokka was Cupid – CUPID! He would succeed! He would succeed!!
But then whose locker was…
Crap. Meng opened locker 23. And then she ran off with that weird missing-toothed grin…
He suddenly felt the need to apologize to Aang.
T I M E S K I P
Art class. Okay, this time, he wasn't dealing with Katara and her stupid locker number, so it would work out better this time for Sokka.
Aang and Sokka sat in the back of the art room, like always, and were both drawing away. Aang, a still-life sketch of a teapot and teacups and sugar bowl and basically girl stuff; Sokka, a special little drawing just for Aang.
Sokka felt the need to laugh maniacally, but what kind of undercover master would he be then?
Putting the finishing touch on his masterpiece, he slipped it to the side.
Sokka gave a dramatic gasp. "Well, would you look what I found!" Grabbing the picture he had just sketched, he pretended to examine it. "It's Katara's picture! Well, I'll be! I didn't know our teacher was one to leave out other class's artwork–"
"Doesn't Katara have art after us?"
Sokka ignored him. "Ooh, Aang, I think you should see this, pal."
Aang leaned over to inspect the paper. "…Wow. You're right. I really thought Katara was a better artist than this."
Sokka's jaw dropped. "Are you kidding?? This is genius!"
Aang furrowed his brow. "What's it supposed to be?"
Sokka scoffed. "I thought it was painfully obvious that she drew a picture of you!"
Aang stared at the art for a moment. He tilted his head to the side. "…Are you sure it's not a picture of a lobster? No… wait, it's a curtain, right? Or a helicopter… Wait! It's Harry Potter!"
Sokka's eye twitched. He crumpled up the piece of paper. "My mistake! This wasn't Katara's! Wow, how dumb am I, right? Dumb, DUMB Sokka!"
He threw the balled up drawing at the chalkboard, letting out an angry growl.
"NO THROWING THINGS IN MY CLASS! DETENTION!"
DAMMIT.
T I M E S K I P
All right. He didn't want it to have to come to this, but it looked like he had no other choice.
"Suki!" Sokka shouted, seeing his girlfriend down the hall.
"Hey, Sokka!" she said.
"Suki," Sokka said, eyes wide and frantic, "I need you to do something for me!"
"Sokka, I'm not going to smuggle meat into history class for you again–"
"No!" Sokka said, waving his arms in a panic. "I need you to make out with Aang–"
"WHAT?!"
"Yeah! You gotta kiss Aang so Katara'll get jealous, and then she'll beat you up to fight for her love and then–"
"Katara will beat me up?!"
"Well, yeah. Come on, Katara could totally kick your–"
Sokka was interrupted by a painful smack in the face. All he could see of Suki was her back, storming down the hall.
"Great. Now there goes my movie plans for tonight."
T I M E S K I P
"TRUTH OR DARE!!"
Aang and Katara gave him an odd look.
"Sokka," Aang said. "Truth or Dare? Really?"
"Yeah, sure, why not?"
"You mean besides us being at school and it being a game for ten-year-olds with nothing better to do?" Katara asked.
Sokka glared. "It'll be fun."
"All right, then," Katara said. "Truth or Dare, Sokka?"
Sokka scoffed. "Dare, of course."
"I dare you to tell me I'm the best little sister in the universe and that you love me with a passion only big brothers can have."
Sokka stood there for a moment. "Okay, game's over."
He felt another eye twitch coming on.
T I M E S K I P
Why wasn't this working?! He was Cupid!! Cupid always won! ALWAYS!!
Sokka had really, really not wanted to go through with this plan, but it looked as if it was the only thing that could work at this point.
He would probably regret it later, but for now, he would suck it up.
"Zuko!"
The scarred boy turned around. "What?" he asked. "I'm late for calculus – make this fast."
"Well, I know I used to hate your guts and your liver and your spleen and all of your other inner organs, and I know that I don't really know you all that well now, but if you could, I really need you to make out with Katara!!"
"…What?!"
Sokka grabbed onto Zuko's shoulders. "Look. I gotta get them together somehow, I have to! They've been driving me nuts – nuts!! Suki wouldn't make out with Aang and my art sucked and Truth or Dare is for ten-year-olds on a school day and Jaang and Latara are fictional and numbers can go into the wrong places if you're not careful and–"
Sokka burst into tears and dropped to his knees. Hands in the air, he shouted, sobbing, "CUPID DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!"
Zuko looked at the pathetic boy. "I take it that Cupid is you?"
Sokka nodded.
"…Uh-huh, yeah, so, I gotta go…"
Sokka was left sobbing in the lonely hallway.
T I M E S K I P
Sokka was hyperventilating. He had only one plan left. What would he do if this one didn't work?! He was CUPID! This should've worked a long time ago!
He took a deep breath. He could do this. He could do this.
He exhaled. Time to put Plan Number Seven – SEVEN – into action.
Sokka unsteadily walked over to Aang. "Hey, Aang," he said. "Guess who I saw making out by the flagpole today!"
Aang rolled his eyes. "I know. Jet and Ty Lee have been out there between every passing period! You think they'd get sick of kissing by now, but apparently not."
Sokka's face fell dramatically. "…Huh?!"
"I kinda feel sorry for other people. The flagpole is supposed to be the best make out spot on campus, but they've been there all day, so no one else has been able to go over there."
"…What?!"
"Not that I want to watch people kiss outside for everyone to see, but still."
"…I–"
"I gotta go. Bell's about to ring. I'll see you last period, yeah?"
Aang walked off. Sokka's lip began to tremble.
T I M E S K I P
Sokka sat with his head in his hands. He had failed. Cupid had failed. He had used up every single frickin' plan and they were still not together!
It was last period. The school day was going to end in about five minutes. There wasn't time to make a new plan. It was hopeless.
Toph, noticing his slightly-heavier vibrations, went over to him and took a seat by his side. "What's got you down, Snoozles?"
"All day… all day, I've been trying to get Katara and Aang together. But it just doesn't work!"
"That's all?" Toph asked as if he was stupid. Rolling her sightless eyes, she stood up abruptly.
"Yo, everyone!"
The entire study hall turned to look at Toph. Aang, Katara, Suki, Zuko, Haru, Jet, Ty Lee, Azula, Mei, Meng, the teacher, everyone.
"I have an announcement to make," Toph continued. "Twinkle Toes – you all know Twinkle Toes, right? Yeah, he's in love with Sugar Queen. And Sugar Queen, who's now feeling intensely warmer, is just as in love with Twinkle Toes."
People continued to stare.
"End of announcement." And Toph sat down.
Still, people looked at Toph as if she had three heads and a tail and a third eye and an elephant-monkey trunk and ears the size of her arm.
"Are you kidding me?!" Sokka nearly yelled. "What kind of crap was that?! You just ruined the whole–"
"How 'bout you look over at Aang and Katara, and then you can tell me if I'm wrong – which I never am."
Sokka turned around, slowly but surely, and saw that in fact, Aang and Katara were holding hands as if they had been a couple for years.
Sokka stuttered. "But – you did – and I was – uh – what just – I was Cupid! I was supposed to make them realize they're undying passion for each other!"
"Cupid?" Toph laughed. "You mean that kid with the diaper? She's nothing compared to Aphrodite, my friend."
The bell rang. Everyone strolled out – the new couple holding hands and whispering with each other, Toph with a smirk on her face.
Everyone but Sokka, that is. He was left face-up on the classroom floor, staring at the ceiling, unable to move.
"Mr. Water-Tribe, I believe you have detention."
DAMMIT.
A/N: Yay! Finished! I kinda like this one. :D But I'm really hungry and dinner is here, so I hope you liked it!
REVIEW! OR ELSE MY POLKA-DOTTED EASTER EGG WILL TELL YOU THAT YOU LOOK LIKE A PARROT!!
Mhmm, that's right…
HAPPY (EARLY) EASTER EVERYBODY!
May your chocolate bunnies not come to life and eat all your jelly beans! :)
Tangy