This story popped in my head on vacation (because doesn't everyone write fanfiction in their head on vacation?). I'm not sure where I'm going with it yet. Review if you want more!

88

I want to run. I can feel the wind in my hair, streaking behind me as I run.

Jack's boyfriend Adam takes my hand as he examines my ring for the 500th time. "Have you thought about bridesmaid dresses yet?"

The room is spinning a bit. Whatever Jen's mom has put in these drinks is a potent combination, at least combined with anxiety.

"Because," Adam continued animatedly "I'd recommend letting the girls pick their own dresses in all the same color. You should try Priscilla's on Boston. I hear.."

"Why do you know so much about weddings," Jack interrupts. I'm not sure if his disturbed look is due to his boyfriend's wedding knowledge, or the fact that Jack knows I want to bolt and do not want to be talking wedding yet.

"How do you not? Don't make me revoke your gay card again," Adam teases.

I finish the contents of my drink while they banter about weddings.

"I'm off for another" I say even though neither of them are paying attention to me. I make my way through the crowd back to the kitchen where Jen's mother is making drinks. She's flirting with some guy we went to highschool with, Paul, bending over so he can get a full view of her ample cleavage. I wonder how Jen feels about her mom partying with us, her body squeezed into tiny clothes. I guess I'll just add it to the list of things we don't talk about anymore.

I can feel his presence before I've spotted him across the room. By the time he makes his way to me we've already had an entire conversation with our eyes. I feel his hand briefly on my lower back as he softly whispers "meet me outside by the pool in five". He continues by me as if we haven't spoken at all.

Jen's mom hands me another drink. "Look at that rock" she moans as I reach out to take the solo cup. "You hang on to him, don't do anything foolish". A smile covers her face but her words have a sharp edge to them. I nod, embarrassed by her words, her attention, her cleavage.

I see Jen talking in the corner with a friend. For the briefest of moments I forget and start to walk towards her. And then it all hits me like a ton of bricks,a distinctly sharp weight in my chest. I turn abruptly to head out of the room; to go find Pacey.

It's chilly outside and no one else is out back by the pool. Pacey is sitting in the outdoor chaise lounge chair, drink in hand, smile on face. I slide next to him, careful to make sure my body doesn't touch his.

"You haven't bolted yet.. Are you thinking about it?" He teases as he reaches out for my hand. He touches the ring gently. "It suits you," he declares confidently.

"Thank you," I mumble, taking a gulp of the drunk juice Jen's mom has made me.

"You look amazing tonight," he says, his eyes scanning my body. "Are your boobs bigger?"

I laugh and lean in closer to him. "It's a new push up bra, glad to hear it's doing it's job."

He eyes me appreciatively. "It's doing something alright."

"You've got a little drool right here Pace," I tease indicating to the side of my mouth.

I take another sip of my drink, knowing full well I should stop. Everything is spinning, and I instantly recognize that i am drunk. The kind of drunk that makes you say things you shouldn't.

I'm reminded of a night spent with Jen freshman year. It was snowing and we were trapped in my dorm room. After Jen mixed us similar drinks to this, she talked me into smoking my roommate's pot. We laid on the floor, holding hands and talking. We told each other everything. I told her I loved her and that she had seen my soul. A moment she would tease me about for years to come. And while it was a wonderful joke between us it was also a wonderful truth… Before…

"Joey," Pacey begins, the smile disappearing from his face. "I can't believe you said yes. I can't believe that ring is on your finger."

I take a deep breath before I speak the words I'm dying to say, "Speaking of… Why aren't you wearing yours?"