NOTE; i am not the person that wrote this fic, i am just a fan who wanted to spread this fic onto ff . net (i was allowed to do so i asked the writer)
you can find the author here; archiveofourown users/Madalynn_Bohemia/pseuds/Madalynn_Bohemia (the site is messing up my links, go to my profile to find it ;_;)
Authors note; Just a short little something that I had to get out of my system after I beat the game. There be spoilers here, so if you haven't finished the game yet, I highly recommend that you do so now.
They're walking along the outskirts of what used to be Laramie, Wyoming, headed for Colorado. Ellie's been walking more delicately, favoring her left foot and wincing with every step she takes. Joel lasts all of ten minutes before he can't take it anymore.
"Stop." He says, shouldering off his pack and moving towards an abandoned bench. Ellie's sharp green eyes follow him before she moves in closer.
"Sit." Joel commands, and amazingly, Ellie sighs and does what she's told. Rummaging through their dwindling supplies, Joel finds the medical wrap he's managed to hold onto.
"Give me your foot."
Ellie's eyes narrow and her mouth acquires a hardened edge. "Joel-" She says warningly, but he cuts her off before she can get going.
"Ellie," he interjects, hoping his tone leaves no room for argument. "Give. Me. Your. Foot."
Ellie huffs, but obligingly lifts her leg to hold her foot up to him in a peace offering.
"Jesus." Joel sighs, immediately going to work with removing her shoe. The soles are worn through with holes on the bottom, and her sock is torn and stained with blood in multiple areas.
"Why didn't you say anything?" He demands, but it isn't a question he really needs answered, even though Ellie does just that.
"It's not like there's a bunch of new shoes lying around, and we shouldn't waste our medical supplies on stupid stuff like this."
Joel lets out a frustrated breath. He studies the shoe, noting that Ellie wears a size six.
"Let me worry about that." He says as he gently removes her ruined sock, wincing with her as the dried blood makes it stick and catch on one of the sores.
"You'll be lucky if you don't get tetanus."
Ellie snorts. "Wouldn't that be something. The world is full of people, both infected and uninfected trying to kill us and the thing that does me in is..." She pauses dramatically, "tetanus."
It isn't funny, but Joel can't help but crack a smile with her as he holds her small, soft foot in his hands. It's good to see her laugh.
Taking water from his canteen, he washes her skin as best he can, making sure to go over it again and again until all the dirt and grime is washed away from the wounds. Once finished, he wraps the bandage around her foot, securing it around her ankle.
Taking some of the duct tape he found in a house not too far back, he wraps her ruined shoe several times.
"That ought to do it, for now." He says, holding her shoe out for her.
Ellie eyes him pointedly before raising her eyebrows and nodding to her foot; which he still has a hold of.
"Oh." He says sheepishly, gently lowering her leg so she can put her shoe back on. "You sure you'll be okay?"
"Don't worry." She consoles, pulling her laces tight. "It'll take more than a crumbling shoe to do me in. Hopefully." She adds joking, and Joel helps her to stand.
"If it hurts too much, you tell me. Got it?"
She has a gleam in her eye when she nods, as if she is still surprised by his affection for her.
Sometimes, he is too.
The next day, Ellie wakes up to the late morning sun in her eyes. To her shock, she slept in.
Right in front of her makeshift bed, are two pairs of shoes.
One is a size six, and another is a seven.
"You can grow into them." Joel says from across the room, and Ellie looks at him with nearly watering eyes.
There is so much she wants to say, but she can't seem to find the words. Regardless, Joel seems to hear them, and he gives her a small nod.
~*8*~
They've been running for what feels like ages. Ellie is pretty sure that they left behind that band of hunters two days ago, and the infected are spread very thin here.
Joel has been keeping them on the move, only stopping for short spurts of time, never staying in more than one place for two hours maximum. It isn't ideal, but it is surviving. Besides, it beats the alternative.
Finally, they find a house that's actually pretty decent. Although it looks secure; what with four walls and a roof, they still stay in the cellar, and Joel moves down a queen sized mattress that isn't too rotten.
He groans and makes an attempt to clutch at his back.
"You look terrible." Ellie comments from over the pages of her latest comic book find.
Joel glances at her matted hair, stained clothes and the prominent circles under her eyes.
"Yeah, well, you're no prize yourself."
Ellie grins at him.
When Joel tries to lay down, he winces in pain.
"What's wrong with your back?" Ellie asks, turning the page of her book.
"Out of sorts." He answers, resting on his stomach. Joel sighs in defeat. "Ellie." He grumbles into the mattress, and he hears amusement in the reply he receives.
"Joel."
"I need you to do me a favor."
He hears Ellie put the book down.
"What do you need?"
"Can you walk on my back?"
There's silence after his request, and Joel turns his head to look at Ellie's confused expression.
"Wont that make it worse? Wont I hurt you?" She asks with genuine concern.
"You're not gonna hurt me. I just want you to pop my back."
"By walking on it?" She seems incredulous now.
Joel sighs again. "It isn't a big deal. Just step up, find your balance, and walk. Just, try not to step on my spine, please."
He hears Ellie's deep shuddering breath in. "Okay." she says, walking over to him. She toes off the shoes he found for her, stepping carefully on the mattress. Her foot hangs suspended over his back, and he urges her with his eyes to continue.
Ellie steps up, immediately swaying before righting herself.
"That's it." Joel encourages. "Just find your balance."
"And walk?" Ellie finishes. Her feet begin to move.
Joel groans in relief when he hears the first pop, his muscles loosening as he starts to relax. Ellie freaks out.
"Am I hurting you?" She demands, refusing to move.
"No no." Joel assures. "It's good. You're fine." Reluctantly, Ellie moves again. Using only her body weight, she manages to relieve Joel of all his back's aches and knots.
"You're a natural, kid." Joel sighs as she steps delicately off of him. Collapsing onto her side of the mattress, Ellie eyes him wearily.
"Aren't there easier ways to do that?"
"Oh hush." He says with a knowing smile. "You had fun."
Ellie gives a short laugh and shakes her head before turning over, burying her face in the blanket she found for them. She inches back slowly, until she can feel Joel's heat radiating through his clothes to warm her.
She is asleep instantly.
~*8*~
Joel finds them a fresh water source, and while he takes the time to refill their water supply, Ellie takes the time to bathe. There is nothing pleasant about having to smell your own body odor, or feel the greasiness of your hair.
Most times, Ellie is too preoccupied to think about it, but when there is a lull in the day to day running and killing, like there is now, it's hard not to think about it.
"Need any help?" Joel asks her as she digs through her backpack for clean clothes.
Ellie raises her eyebrows at him. "I think I know how to take a bath."
Joel frowns and shakes his head. "Just be careful, okay. Don't go in too deep." He still worries about the fact that she cant swim.
"I'll be careful." She promises, and Joel leaves her to it, going to survey the surrounding area.
Quickly and efficiently, Ellie strips, shivering when the breeze brushes her vulnerable skin.
"Fuck." She whispers through chattering teeth, moving towards the water's shore. Instead of easing her way slowly, she decides to get it over with quickly, the water up to her hips before the sensation registers. It feels as if daggers are piercing her flesh, the water is so cold it burns.
"Holy fucking fuck!" Ellie can't help but shout. She hears the sound of snapping twigs behind her as Joel breaks through the brush, pistol drawn at the ready.
"What? What happened."
Ellie lets out a gasp and forces her body deeper into the water, hiding it from sight, and gritting her teeth at the grueling temperature.
"Would you turn around!" She yells at Joel, but her protector's eyes still scan the area, looking for the potential threat.
"Why did you scream?"
"Because the water's cold, now would you stop looking!"
Joel's eyes focus on Ellie and he seems to register her lack of clothing and the bare naked back she shows him as she hides her front from view, glaring over her pale shoulder.
"Sorry." He says, immediately turning around. "Just...try not to scream, unless you need me."
"I'll remember that." He hears her say, and he walks back to their camp.
When Ellie returns, cleaner than before, her hair is still dripping as she tries; unsuccessfully to run her fingers through it.
"Do we still have that comb?" She asks, and Joel hands it to her, already having it ready. Some of the bristles are missing, but it's something.
He watches as Ellie runs it harshly through her hair, pulling at the knots and yanking at the strands.
"Stop that." He says, holding his hand out for the comb. She stares at his outstretched fingers before placing the instrument in his hand.
"Sit." He says, motioning to the spot in front of him, spreading his legs so she can fit between.
Gently, so as not to hurt her, he runs the brush through her hair, starting at the bottom and working his way up. Joel tries not to think about how he used to do this for Sarah.
Ellie seems to become putty in his hands, relaxing enough that her neck lolls.
"I can't remember the last time somebody brushed my hair." She says softly, and Joel can't help but smirk.
"Well, with the way you try to plow through it, I'm surprised you have hair left to brush."
They stay like that for awhile in the afternoon sun. Ellie remains quiet while Joel continues to run a comb through her hair, long after the knots are gone and it is dry and soft.
He doesn't insist that they leave, and she does not remind him that they should.
~*8*~
Joel's own hair is getting too long in length. Along the way they find some scissors, rusty but still sharp. Ellie watches as he trims his beard, keeping the hair short and even.
Joel cuts the parts of his hair he can reach, keeping it manageable.
"Can you get the back for me, Ellie?" He asks, offering her the scissors and she gives him a pleased smile.
Joel moves to take the scissors back. "Try not to make me bald." He says in warning and Ellie nods in a silent promise before he gives her the scissors once more.
Ellie is careful, running her fingers through Joel's strands, trapping them between her index and middle finger to pull gently away from his scalp. She measures an inch and puts the scissors to work.
Again, she runs her fingers through his hair, knocking loose all the cut strands. This continues for nearly twelve minutes until she is satisfied.
"How's it looking?" Joel asks, and Ellie smiles.
"I think I found my calling." She jokes, continuing to card her small fingers through his surprisingly soft hair. Joel reaches back and grabs her wrist, giving it an affectionate squeeze, digits dancing along the sensitive skin of her palm.
"Come on." Joel says, dusting the hair off of his shoulders. "Bring the scissors."
Ellie smiles and wraps the sharp blades in an old cloth before shoving it in her bag and moving to follow.
~*8*~
There's infected all around them, and rather than try to blast their way out, they're opting for the stealth approach. Joel's eyes find hers, finger to his lips and she nods in understanding.
They're hiding behind the counter in some unknown, abandoned restaurant, and a clicker is waiting for them on the other side. Ellie presses herself against the splintered wood, wishing more than anything that she could sink into it and just disappear.
Behind her, Joel moves in close, his body brushing hers, molding to her form. He keeps her covered, sheltered from view.
Protected.
Even in a room full of infected, in a situation that would seem impossible to anyone else, he has the ability to make her feel safe.
How does he do that?
~*8*~
It's raining again, and the place they're staying at has too many holes in the ceiling. Ellie eyes the constantly dripping water with a glare. It's too damp, too cold, too exposed.
Beside her, Joel sneezes. He's sick and this place is only going to make him worse. He wraps his arm around her shoulders and she burrows into his side, if only to offer him much needed warmth.
It's hard to believe that she once thought this man's heart was made of stone. Joel never likes to talk about his past or the people he's lost. She knows now that it's not because he doesn't care, but that he cares too much. Every day she prays that nothing should happen to her. Not for her sake, but for his.
They're on their way to Utah, and with each day that they get closer, she becomes a bit more withdrawn. If the fireflies are indeed at that hospital, she has a pretty good idea of what's going to happen to her.
Marlene used to talk about it when they first discovered she was immune.
"You're the answer, Ellie."
She would say.
"What you have inside of you is going to give mankind a chance again. You are our savior. Do understand what that means? You'll have to make hard decisions, because hard choices are what will save this world. You can't be selfish."
It wasn't a sure thing. The fireflies could be wiped out for all they knew, or the cure might not require any sacrifice from her to come about, but deep down, she highly doubted that would be the case.
She would have to make a choice.
In the end, it should be easy. Her life was not important enough to condemn the entire human race. She did not want to die. Nobody did, but she would be giving her life to something greater.
She should think this way, but she couldn't. She might have been able to, if she hadn't met Joel. She needed him, and Joel needed her, more than he needed the world or a cure. She did not wish to be the one to break him after all he had been through.
Joel sneezed again and Ellie squeezed him tighter.
What the hell was she supposed to do?
~*8*~
In the end, the decision was taken out of her hands. Ellie couldn't open her eyes, but she could feel bright lights pressing behind her lids. Her ears registered the beeping of machines, and the distant flow of voices she did not recognize.
No matter how many times she tried, she could not even blink. She couldn't move, could hardly breathe. Where was she?
Where was Joel?
For the first time since this whole thing started, she felt truly afraid, and utterly alone.
She drifted endlessly, listening to the sounds of chaos in the distance. Of screams and loud popping noises, blending in with the machine like beeps that echoed all around her.
The voices in the room were growing frantic, and the popping noises were getting louder.
Time slipped away again and the voices ceased with such abruptness and finality that it could only be death. Ellie's body was pulled from its prone position.
"Come on, baby girl. I got you."
It was Joel's voice. Joel was here with her.
Joel would always find her.
~*8*~
"Look me in the eye and swear that everything you told me about the fireflies is true." Ellie demanded.
Joel could see the steel in her expression. The determination. She already knew her answer. How could she not? But if he told her the truth, there was a good chance that Ellie would hate him. That she would leave. He would do whatever it took to prevent that from happening.
And so, he lied.
"I swear." He answered without hesitation or guilt.
Ellie knew he wasn't telling the truth. Of course she did. She had woken up in the backseat of a car wearing a hospital gown, loopy from the drugs they had given her. If the fireflies truly had stopped looking for a cure, why would they have bothered dosing her in the first place.
Joel wasn't telling her something, and she knew exactly what that was.
Just as she had always suspected, she had been the answer. The cure for mankind, but a cure that would come at a price. Her life, in exchange for the world's. It didn't seem like a decision that required much deliberation, unless it was put to a man like Joel, who would fight like hell to make sure she made it out alive.
He had killed the entire firefly faction. He had condemned the world to its disease and he had done it all for her.
Could he live with that fact?
Could she?
"You have to find something worth fighting for and hold onto it. That's all you can do."
Ellie could hear Joel's words floating around in her head. She was everything he fought for. She was the reason he woke up each morning. The reason he kept moving forward.
How could she possibly damn him for what he did back in Utah? How could she expect anything less. Joel would've fought for her, no matter what, and she could only be filled with gratitude that this simple fact had not cost him his life.
They were both here, together, on the verge of starting a new life. It seemed silly that she would be anything but grateful of the chance they had been given.
She was his reason for fighting, and he was, and always would be, hers. Everything else, she could live with. It just wasn't as important, no matter how selfish that made her. Made them. She was okay with that.
"Okay." She said finally, and with a smile that conveyed her understanding and forgiveness, she held out her hand.
Joel breathed in a deep, shuddering breath, and took it.