This Christmas Blessing
'Christmas is a time for us
To care for ones we loved
To show how much we love him
Because God first loved us…'
Things will have changed.
Things will have stayed the same.
Just as life tends to do.
Carey will think on the year, the mistakes her sons made, the blessings they brought.
She'll prepare the dinner she had so many times before, allowing Cody to supervise to make sure she didn't mix up salt and sugar again. At the table in the small hotel room, she'll set the four plates.
Dwelling for a moment on the fourth one, she'll gaze into a picture frame in the other room. Her boys had become men, not just little men, but taller than her. And she'll think of the day they were born so long ago, the start of a family she had wanted since she was young.
But in a very few months a new family would begin.
She'll think of the past, the tears, even a bit of yelling.
But also the joy.
She'll eye the candle in the window, a remnant form last year, thinking when it was just her and her youngest son.
Zack behind the bars of a cold prison for the crimes he found his way into.
Scared, worried, mad, angry, disappointed.
But he made his way home, as if the candle was his guiding light.
And at this Christmas, it will be one where she relishes the company. Though not the massive gatherings of her youth, it will be a time to reflect, to look to the future and the blessing it will bring.
She'll light the candle in the middle once more, the hope made manifest through the many sleepless nights.
"You remember to get the rolls out of the over?" Cody will ask, causing her to run over to the oven, pulling them out with only a few small black spots on them.
"Of course," she'll say bringing them over to the table. She'll laugh to herself; that not even something so simple she could do without messing it up.
But holidays never were perfect around here. Between arguments with family, being stranded when she'd want to go on vacation, or getting into a sumo match with a drunk stranger from Washington.
It's funny how the most unexpected moments are the ones that stick to her memory the most.
She'll call for Zack, surprised that the smell of food hadn't gotten him out of his room. For all the time her sons were away, now freshman in college, she kept their room the way it had been when they moved to the Tipton. True, she cleaned it, made sure there weren't any animals living under Zack's bed. But times like this, she'll be reminded of those many years, reminiscing on how boys became little men, and then became men of the world.
It won't matter to her how hold they get though; they'll always be her baby boys in her mind.
"Dinner ready yet?" Zack will say as he and Maya will walk out of the bed room.
"Just about, I want to balance the ratio of ginger and cayan pepper for my perfect seasoning," Cody will say while pounding rapidly on a calculator as he measures the spices on a scaled that looked to be out of a physics lab.
"Some things never change," Zack'll say, holding out a chair for his fiancé.
"Are you still getting sick like you were," Carey will ask Maya, taking a seat too as Cody scrambles over.
"A little," Maya will say holding her hand on her stomach. "It's not every day like it was a few weeks ago."
"That's good. As the pregnancy gets further along, the sickness seems to fade away."
"I still don't know if I'm ready to be a Mom," she'll say with a shake of her head.
"I really don't think we ever are ready," Carey will say looking at her two boys. "But you figure it out as you go. Sure, you may mess up, but all you can do is the best you can. And love them no matter how much you want to strangle them."
"I was really good at the last one helping her practice the last one," Zack will say
"You also made your brother want to strangle you a few times," Cody will add.
The family will then say grace, thanking God for the blessing throughout the year. Through the choices they made, the problems they ran into, and the pain that came, they'll always see the hope on the horizon, the blessing through the pain.
Even disappointed at Zack being a father while this young, with Maya so scared and still a kid in her eyes, Carey will think of the future, excited to have her first grandchild. And she won't be able to deny how much Zack had grown, while overwhelmed and lost, he'll become something new, taking on this frightening and so fulfilling role.
She'll wonder what next Christmas will hold
She'll wonder if it will be a boy or a girl
She'll wonder what will be its first word.
She'll wonder what trouble it will get into, what joy it will bring.
She'll wonder many things.
She'll stare out the window once more, seeing the stars coming out over the horizon. And as the world prepares for another night, she'll say a prayer for the year. At a time of year dedicated to celebrating a new life, for all mankind, she'll marvel at the life soon to enter the world, and wonder just where that life will lead.
And though the trials may come.
She'll take heart in knowing that little boy or girl will be loved.
'This is my Christmas Blessing
This is my Christmas prayer
No matter where the years would take us
Love would find us there
This is my Christmas promise
This is my gift to you
Forever we will be together
God will see us through
And you'll have me, and I'll have you.'
This Christmas Blessing, NewsongA/N: Yes, Christmas is passed but I wrote this on Christmas Eve if that counts for anything. It's been a long time since I've worked with future tense, so I might have lost my touch some. Still, I like it. And this is a sequel to my Christmas one-shot from last year, This Christmas Hope