"I swear to you, I saw them with my own two eyes!"
Bell dismissed him with a wave of his hand, "You're hallucinating then Smitty. No way, just no way that's possible." He walked away and Smitty followed him.
"Fine, but I know what I saw..." Smitty was a young officer, a rookie, obviously looking for attention thought Bell.
Gregson walked up, "What's going on here?"
"Nothing, Smitty just needs attention." Bell smiled and shook his head. "Go ahead, tell him..."
"I saw them making out, serious heavy duty ..."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Gregson stopped him, "Who did you see making out?" He took a sip from his cup, mildly interested. It'd been a slow morning.
"The consultants. He had his tongue half way down her throat and she was grabbing his ..."
Gregson choked on his coffee, "Stop." He coughed. "Stop right there." He tried to clear the image out of his head. "That's ridiculous. Joan would pin Holmes to the ground if he tried anything like that."
"That's what I said," chimed in Bell, sounding pleased that Gregson agreed.
"Where did this alleged make out session occur?" the captain started his interrogation.
"In room three off of ..."
"They were in there, I sent them in there to review the evidence from last week's shooting, but Holmes would never ..."
Smitty was getting frustrated now, "Okay, don't believe me but she had him up against the wall and her skirt was hiked up with his hand ..."
"Stop, stop, stop." Both Bell and Gregson reacted at the same time, putting their hands up and looking away from him. It was the equivalent of hearing about your parents having sex.
"I think you must have misinterpreted what you saw," Gregson tried applying logic. "They were probably trying to work out the physicality of the crime."
Smitty was done with them. "Look, believe me, don't believe me. Doesn't really matter. I know what I saw."
Gregson stopped him as he walked away, "Hey, don't be spreading these kinds of things. Even if you saw what you saw, it's nobody's business but theirs."
Smitty nodded respectfully, "Yes sir."
Down the precinct corridor appeared Watson and Holmes, walking side by side. He was pulling on his jacket and shirt sleeves as he spoke.
"You really need to stop wearing those shorty short skirts, Watson." Sherlock's tone was low, for her ears only.
"You're kidding right? My skirt length has nothing to do with what we ... you know." Joan whispered back. "You just need to learn self control, Mr. Tightpants." Her tone was mocking.
He smirked at her and answered out of the side of his mouth. "As do you Ms. Groper. I think you left bruises."
She raised her eyebrows. "You wait till I get you home. I'll give you bruises."
Sherlock's eyes widened in anticipation of the possibility and a small leer crossed his face, "Promise?"
Joan smiled at his reaction, "Stop that, we're in public. Fix your collar." She just hoped she hadn't gotten lipstick on it.
Sherlock looked longingly at her and did as he was told. She looked down the corridor and saw Bell and the Captain. "Why do you suppose they're staring at us?"
Joan panicked and checked her skirt, smoothing it down, "You don't think they know do you?"
"Not sure," came his answer. "Here, let's have a row just in case."
"What?"
The volume of Sherlock's voice increased dramatically. "Watson, I told you, you are wrong. It's a completely foolish supposition."
She as usual caught on fast. "No, Sherlock. You are being a child about this. Can't stand for anyone else to be right." Joan threw her hands up in the air walking towards Bell and the Captain.
"Utterly unprofessional ... don't you walk away when I'm talking to you," he followed after her, inwardly admiring the swing of her short skirt.
Joan turned and looked at him, "Let's not do this here Sherlock. We can hash it out when we get home."
Gregson looked at Bell and shook his head, "Sign Smitty up for an eye exam would you." Gregson turned his attention to his consultants. "You two okay?"
"Yes, yes." They answered in unison. Sherlock added, "it's a private case we're consulting on. On your case, we think we've had a breakthrough."
"Good!" answered Gregson. "Step into my office and tell me what you've got."
"I've got some calls to make," Bell excused himself and started walking away.
Marcus remembered he hadn't told the Captain about Gertz and turned back just in time to catch sight of the back of Sherlock's jacket tucked partially into his trousers.
He stood there chin jutted up, staring for a few seconds, before shaking his head no and walking away.