Peanut Butter and Jelly
By: Zell's Girl
Rating: PG
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Disclaimer- I do not own Inuyasha.
I do not own any Inuyasha characters.
I don't even own the computer I wrote
This on…. ::sob::
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In youth, I have thought that friendship makes us fools. It makes us go out on a limb and risk ourselves for someone, and we haven't any guarantees of time or loyalty. When I realized this meant my friends would do this for me, I realized friendship is the greatest thing I had. –Zebulon Nagumaru

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Sango watched as Miroku tacked the scrolls onto the outer pillars of the inn. It was a very unconvincing act to say the least; his nonchalant and sloppy manner proved that it was no really a religious ritual. Some people out there were so easily fooled.

But, Miroku was quite the trickster.

Ah, Miroku was such a confusing fellow. He was a monk, but none the less he lied, tricked, and blackmailed people as if it were second nature. Not to mention, his constant interrogation of women for his own… needs was rather unnerving.

He quickly murmured a little prayer and brushed off his hands on his robes. He smiled with devious self-satisfaction, but his face reshaped into a much less menacing form as he noticed the woman before him.

He greeted, "Ah, hello Sango," he paused before asking, "what's the matter?"

"Nothing, nothing," she replied. "What are your plans for the evening, Miroku?"

"Well, I was going to get some food, but, if you'd like to spend some time with me… in my room… I'd be more then happy to oblige…"

Miroku's hand made the familiar travel behind her, which she quickly grasped at the wrist. Miroku grinned innocently eyeing the hand she had hold of. She let go of his hand and stormed off angrily, though not the slightest bit surprised.

The place was rather lonely with Kagome out of the picture. They had reluctantly let her leave to take some sort of 'test' back in her time. With Kagome gone, Inuyasha was far more irritable. Sango had learned that her best bet was to stay out of his way.

Sango entered the small kitchen at the inn. She quickly spotted Miroku and Shippo up towards the cook's station, but Sango really wasn't in the mood for more discussions with the perverted monk. She took a seat at a small table a few feet away.

"By any chance do you have any peanut butter and jelly sandwiches?" Miroku asked the elderly cook. He looked at Miroku with a perplexed gaze.

"A what? I have never heard of such a thing, Sir Monk. Perhaps I know of it by another name?" Miroku shook his head and sighed, then requested some sashimi.

It was many months ago, not long after Sango had become a part of Inuyasha's team that she first heard of 'peanut butter and jelly sandwiches'.

Kagome sat quietly under a tree, reading from a book of numbers. Sango looked down upon the pages, unsure of exactly what it all meant. Shippo was looking about Kagome's bag when he sniffed out her food. He removed a smaller parcel from her things, which contained several items of food.

"Kagommmmme! Can I please have the apple?" squeaked the little kitsune, his eyes fixated upon the small red fruit.

"Oh sure, it's my lunch I forgot to eat at school. You guys can all have some if you want."

Shippo cheered and began to munch away on the apple. Sango leaned over and picked up a can of soda. Just as her hand closed around the can, Miroku's hand found it's way to her rear. Sango whirled around and pummeled the monk furiously. He fell to the ground with a loud thud.

"Oh, food!" Miroku eyed on the ground beside his face. Sitting up, he grasped the square edible that would soon become a legend. "What's this?"

Kagome looked up from her book. "Oh, that's a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I don't like them all that much."

Miroku removed the plastic wrap and took a bite of the sandwich. He blinked several times before wolfing down the rest of it. "Dear me! That was wonderful!" Kagome cocked an eyebrow.

The girl chirped, "You think so? I really can't stand them. I'll make sure to bring some next time."

"Great!"

But now, with Kagome away, Miroku was left without his favorite dish. He had searched at every restaurant in vain, but no one seemed to have even heard of peanut butter and jelly. The distraught monk took his plate to a table across the room, not even noticing Sango.

Shippo, on the other hand, immediately spotted her and hopped on over. "Hi Sango! What are you up to?"

"Oh nothing."

The kitsune looked at her skeptically. "You seem sad."

"I tell you truly it is nothing!" Sango protested.

"Miroku seems sad too. I think he is kinda down since his birthday's today…"

Sango was quite surprised at Shippo's proclamation. Miroku hadn't mentioned this to her before. Perhaps he didn't want her to know…? Kohaku was never big on birthdays, but he was just a kid. Perhaps it was that guys weren't into birthday parties…

But, Sango knew without Kagome, a party was out of the question. Sango really wasn't the domestic type in any way. She couldn't sew, cook, or notice any kind of color scheme. Kagome was MUCH better at that kind of stuff.

What, though, could Sango do for her good friend Miroku? She knew some things she could do, but they weren't very wholesome. She eyed the monk, who was at the other table poking at his sashimi with a grimace across his face.


It seemed like a simple enough task. Make him a peanut and jelly sandwich. But, what in the world WERE peanut butter and jelly? She didn't want to give away to Miroku, obviously, so Shippo seemed like the most reliable source.

Sango interrogated, "Shippo, what's peanut butter and jelly?"

"Well, it's rice bread with stuff in it." Shippo explained, the kitsune grinned at his vague description.

"Stuff? What kind of stuff?"

After about an hour of vague descriptions, Sango had determined several things about peanut butter and jelly:
Peanut Butter is light brown.
Peanut Butter is some sort of ground plant.
Peanut Butter is salty.
Jelly is red.
Jelly is sweet.
Jelly is probably some sort of crushed fruit.
You put this between two pieces of bread.

With the information, Sango immediately got to work on gathering plants. Red berries were abundant and of many different varieties. Just to make sure, she took a few of all of them. Also, she gathered some leaves from a few trees and some cherry tree bark, and then began to toil away at the grinding process.

Once she had completed the tedious task, she then took the little money she had and purchased a rice roll. Bringing all this back to her room, she assembled the concoction. It smelled repulsive and looked rather… odd. Sango could see why Kagome disliked them.

It was quite late when Sango made her way to Miroku's room with the offering. She knocked on the door. No answer. She knocked again, no answer.

"Miroku, are you in there Miroku?" Sango called into the room. The monk immediately ran to the door.

"Ah, Sango! I see you have leapt at that chance of my earlier offer!" Miroku wrapped his arm around Sango's waist and pulled her into his room. Sango shoved him away quickly, closing her eyes and holding the small parcel in front of her.

"What's this…?"

"Happy Birthday Miroku!" Sango chimed.

Miroku grinned widely, scooping the package out of her hands. "How did you know? I didn't tell anyone but…"

They chirped together, "Shippo."

Miroku peeled back the cloth on the gift Sango brought to see an oddly shaped… thing. "So… Uh… What's this?"

"I… I well… Tried to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I didn't know quite what it was, but from Shippo's description I think I came kinda close…"

Miroku gawked. It was really a sweet gesture… but… god, that thing smelled atrocious. But, Sango seemed really happy about what she'd done, like a little kid hunting with his father, and ends up catching a squirrel.

Maybe that thing she made contained squirrel meat…

Miroku was immediately struck with inspiration on how to get out of eating Sango's gift. He drew Sango into a thankful hug. "It was so nice of you to make this for me…" Miroku slowly began you move his hand down…

"Don't you dare, Miroku-san."

Damn.

"Now, how 'bout you try some? I wanna know if you like it," Sango insisted eagerly.

Miroku sat on his bed and placed the open parcel in his lap. Sango watched happily as he slowly lifted the sandwich to his mouth. He drew a deep breath before taking a bite.

Crunch. Crunch. CRACK.

The food was even worse then Miroku had first thought. It tasted like tree bark mixed with gravel and sea slime. Miroku did his best to remain blank faced and not let Sango know that her attempt had become a catastrophe.

Sango asked sweetly, "How is it, Miroku-san? I'm not really good at cooking or anything but I really tried hard…"

Not good, eh? I NEVER would have guessed.

"It's very good Sango. Thank you." Miroku grinned, praying that he would not regurgitate.

"Oh! I could make you another I…"

"Oh," Miroku interrupted, "I don't want to waste your time but I am most thankful for what you've done for me already."

"I really wouldn't mind…"

"But you probably have more important things to do like…"

Sango sighed, "Is it really that bad?"

"No! No, of COURSE not Sango! It is very good!" Miroku protested weakly.

"Then why did you only take one bite?"

Miroku winced, quickly eating the rest of the food. His stomach turned and his innards felt like they were being mashed repeatedly. He offered Sango a grin, which she merrily returned.

"Hey Sango?" Miroku groaned.

"Hm?"

"Would you get me some healing herbs? I think that the fish from my sashimi was tainted…"

"Oh," Sango chimed merrily, "Not a problem! Happy Birthday Miroku!"

Miroku smiled to himself as the rather jubilant youkai hunter walked out of his room. What she tried to do was so sweet and so kind… Miroku had never even thought he'd have a friend like Sango. His stomach churned terribly, but Miroku felt wonderful none the less.

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End!

Meep! That so sucked! That was actually a school project, minus some of the frisky Miroku-ness. This, by the way, was my first Inuyasha fic. I haven't seen all or even all that many of the episodes (I'd guess about 35 or so), so if there are any inaccuracies, sorry! I wrote this entire thing in a study period, which is about… a little over forty minutes… Review if you want… Please…?
Love ya'll!
Kate