Part of the Pack
Little Story I wrote after seeing a prompt on the asoiaf kink meme. Wrote it in a bit of haze so I hope you'll excuse any mistakes.
Prompt: Jon moves in with his Uncle Ned and Aunt Catelyn after the death of his mother, Lyanna. Despite the efforts of all the Starks to make him feel like part of the family, Jon feels like a burden. Lots and lots of Jon angst, please - I feel like in a modern AU, Jon living with the Starks would bring a completely different but still difficult set of issues.
Disclaimer: I own nothing all characters belong to George R.R. Martin. This is just for fun.
He still dreams of her, her laugh, her kind grey eyes but most of all the smell of her perfume, that faint scent of roses. He doesn't talk about her with anyone, not even Robb, and they never ask. The younger ones used to, but his Aunt and Uncle never do and the few times Jon has spoken to Uncle Ned about her, this sad look appears in his eyes and he speaks few words about her. Sometimes it's actually easier to speak with Aunt Catelyn because it doesn't bother her as much. But since she didn't know his mother as well her answers sometimes come up short.
It has been over eight years now since his mother passed away, a car crash on her way from work. He remembers that she took him to his grandfather's and said she'd be back in a few hours but then he never saw her again. He had been angry with her, he wanted to play with Robb and not go to grandpa's house but when she had tried to explain to him that it wasn't possible he'd been angry and said mean things to her. That was the last time he saw her and he had been mean to her. Sometimes he'll wake up covered in sweat after dreaming of her face when he had yelled at her that he hated her, thankfully he had apologized right away but her face still haunted him because he had still been angry when he said he was sorry.
After the funeral Uncle Ned and Aunt Catelyn had taken him home with them and for the next two years he had lived with Robb in his room until they moved and he got his own room. Those two years had been strange, because even though he knew they loved him, he didn't belong with them. He was just a guest in their home. They never said anything and never treated him any different from the others but he still had hope that his mother would come and take him home. He wasn't being fair to them he knew, they had both taken great care to make sure he felt at home with them, never treated him any different from their own kids, even his Aunt's family had taken him in. He called Aunt Catelyn's father granddad, like Robb and Sansa (and later the others), and always got birthday presents and Christmas gifts, always invited to all the things the others were.
But it wasn't the same; he knew they weren't his parents. Aunt Catelyn read him bedtime stories and tucked him in but she didn't smell of roses and her voice was much nicer than mom's when she sang. And his Uncle was still his Uncle, the same as he'd always been.
Perhaps it was easier with Uncle Ned because he wasn't replacing anyone, Jon had never known his father but he had known Lyanna Stark and loved her and been loved by her. She was his mother, not this woman with beautiful auburn hair who tucked him in at night and told him that his mother had loved him dearly and would always watch over him. No Catelyn Stark could never be his mother and she never pretended she was. On his worst days he wished she had pretended. Maybe he would be a part of their family, if he felt like their son and not the orphaned nephew.
It wasn't fair he knew and deep down he knew he might have resented them more had they pretended to be his parents but he still wishes he had parents like them. Two people who created you because they loved each other. Even after all this time his Aunt and Uncle were still in love and it wasn't uncommon for the kids to walk in on them kissing in the kitchen or holding hands in the car. His siblings, especially Arya and sometimes little Rickon, found it utterly gross but secretly he liked that they were still in love and he wondered if his mother had loved his father the way Aunt Catelyn loved her husband.
When he was little he had asked once why he didn't have a father, like Robb and other the kids at pre-school but Mother had just said that he had died. Nothing more, and Jon had never asked again until he was older and then his Uncle had little to nothing to say about the matter and Aunt Catelyn always told him to ask his Uncle.
Now he knew why nobody wanted to speak about him, also why nobody wanted to speak about the Targaryens in the Stark house. Apparently his father had been some politician's heir and seduced a sixteen-year-old Lyanna Stark, and so here he was. Also his paternal grandfather had apparently killed his other uncle, Brandon, the one he never knew, another car accident, this one caused by the drunken senator.
For fourteen years Mr. Targaryen had never looked for Jon or his mother and never so much as acknowledged his existence and now he was coming into his life, completely unwanted and was messing everything up.
Just before Sansa's birthday last summer a lawyer had come to his Uncle's office requesting that he hand over his nephew to his father. Apparently his uncle had been quite vocal in stating that he had no son of Rhaegar Targaryen and refused to give Jon away and so now Jon sat outside a courtroom, his Aunt pacing the floor, as they waited for the judge to call him up.
Robb and Sansa sat on either side of him, Sansa holding his hand while Robb's knee bounced up and down against Jon's. It was strange, while he and Robb had always been the best of friends, Jon and Sansa had never been particularly close.
She had always just been his little sister that wanted to play princesses and dragons. Where he and Robb were supposed to rescue her from the terrible dragon (usually played by toddler Arya) and the boys had done their best to encage the dragon and rescue her. But since then many years had passed and all of Sansa's time went to her dancing and her friends. Yet here she was holding his hand in her smaller one, not even picking up her phone ones to see if anyone had texted her.
The younger three had all been forbidden to come, much to all of their displeasure. But Aunt Catelyn had thought them to young to be here and drawn the line at Sansa who had refused to be left behind. Much to everyone's surprise.
The courtroom doors opened and his uncle came barging out grabbing his wife and Jon by the arm leading them to a room just behind the corner. His lawyer, and longtime family friends, Mr. Arryn followed shortly after with Robb and Sansa.
"Jon, I know this is all confusing for you right now. But you have to get on the stand next and both Mr. Arryn and Targaryen's attorney are gong to ask you some questions." His Uncle says staring straight at him, grey eyes meeting grey. He had his serious business face on but Jon can see the worry in his eyes nonetheless.
"What kind of questions?" Jon asks turning to Mr. Arryn.
They are seated around a round table, his aunt and uncle on with either side of him, Sansa and Robb across from him and Mr. Arryn standing by the window looking out. When John asks him his question he takes the empty seat between Uncle Ned and Robb.
"Questions about yourself, how you like living with Mr. and Mrs. Stark, about how they treat you." He answers, looking at Jon with a serious gaze. "But most likely if you want to continue living with them or go live with Mr. Targaryen."
"Why would he want that? He belongs with us." Robb cries out with a look of horror on his face. "He's our brother."
"It's not that simple Robb. Your parents have raised him for a long time and Mr. Targaryen has never been an active member in Jon's life but he is still his biological father and therefore the courts have to decide what is best for him." Mr. Arryn explains to Robb, and Jon can feel Aunt Catelyn's hand grab his own, and he looks at her but she is staring at Mr. Arryn.
"So the stupid judge is just going to send Jon to live with some stranger we don't even know." Robb says, echoing their little sister.
"Robb, language." His Aunt reprimands, still holding tightly on to Jon's hand.
"Sorry." Robb answers.
"What does he want?" Jon asks.
They had told him that Mr. Targaryen was suing them for custody of him, that he was his biological father and that he had wanted to take Jon with him to Essos where Mr. Targaryen lived now, but they would fight for him and at the time Jon had thought nothing of it. It sounded so strange and remote that he hadn't even given it much thought until they had explained to him that since he was fourteen, that he would be asked to come and testify and explain to the courts about what he would like. They hadn't pressured him into saying anything, just told him the basics and now here they were and in less than 15 minutes he would have to get on a stand explain what he wanted in front of some judge that didn't even know him.
Worst of all, he didn't even know what he wanted.
"We don't know, son." His uncle says, sharing a look with his wife over Jon's head.
"But why now? It's already been so long since mom died." Jon asks looking between the adults in the room.
His uncle looks even more serious than usually. "Could I get a moment alone with Jon." He asks, puzzling Jon. But everyone does as he asks, Robb and Sansa both go outside with Mr. Arryn and Aunt Catelyn kisses him on the top of his head, like she often does, before following the others.
"What's going on?" Jon asks, already suspicious because always when one of them wants to speak with him or any of his siblings, they always do it together.
"I have something to tell you, something I maybe should have spoken to you about a long time ago." His Uncle says, running a hand over his beard.
"What is it?" Jon asks.
"About three years ago Rhaegar came to my office and said he wanted to take you with him to Essos. He demanded that Catelyn and I give you to him. Like you were a car we had been storing for the previous five years. I told him no and warned him, that if he ever came near you or any of my other children I would have him arrested." Uncle Ned says this in his usual calm voice but Jon sees him clench his fist in anger. "By then you were our son. No matter what you call us, or how you view us. You, Jon, you're our son and we don't love you any less than the five we created. You complete our family and I wasn't going to just give you away any more than I would give someone Robb. If I made a mistake I'm sorry but I only did what I thought best."
"I understand." Jon says, still thinking over what he has said. "Why are you telling me this now?"
"Because Rhaegar's lawyer is going to tell you about it and I wanted you and Catelyn to hear it from me and not from Mr. Connington. I didn't even tell Catelyn, she was pregnant with Rickon at the time and you know how well that went. I didn't want to add to her stress"
Jon does know. He can remember Uncle Ned standing in the kitchen trying to figure out how the coffee machine worked and how to feed five hungry kids while Aunt Catelyn spent almost six months bent over the toilet and then later on bed rest because Rickon was a handful from the moment he was created.
Jon just nods his head at his uncle. "Can I have moment alone? I'll be right out. I just want some peace and quite before I have to testify."
"Of course. We'll be right outside, I'll knock when it's time." His Uncle says, standing up, squeezing his shoulder before walking out leaving Jon alone with his thoughts.
Jon felt like no time had passed when there was knock indicating that it was time.
Jon walked forward and took a seat on the chair next to the judge. There were only eight people in the room besides the people working here; Robb and Sansa sat together behind their parents and Mr. Arryn, and on the other side sat Mr. Targaryen with what he guessed was his lawyer Mr. Connington and behind them sat a woman with the same silver hair and violet eyes as Rhaegar, most likely his mother judging by her age and their resemblance to one another.
"Good morning young man, can you state your name and age for the record." The Judge asked him once he was seated.
"Yes sir, my name is Jon Stark and I just turned fourteen two weeks ago." Jon answers, looking at the judge.
"Thank you, now do you understand why you are here and that while you sit in that chair you must speak the truth, even though it may upset some people." He asks staring straight at Jon.
"Yes, sir. My uncle told me to always speak the truth and I will endeavor to do so here as well." Jon answers.
"Alright councilors, you may begin." The judge says, now facing forward.
Jon Arryn begins, just asking about his school and football. About growing up and about his mother.
"I just have one more question Jon." Mr. Arryn says, and Jon nods. "I know you were young but do you ever remember your Mother speaking of your biological father, Mr. Targaryen?"
"No sir. I once asked about my father and she told me he was dead. I only learned differently when my Uncle told me that he was still alive and lived somewhere in Essos. He didn't know that my mother had told me he was dead." Jon answers looking at his Aunt and Uncle who are both looking at him. His Uncle solemn whiles his Aunt smiles softly at him.
"Thank you, Jon. That's all." Mr. Arryn takes his seat next to his Uncle and the red haired man leans over to Mr. Targaryen before standing up.
"Good morning, Jon. Do you know why you went to live with your uncle after your mother died?" Mr. Connington asks.
"I went to live with my grandfather first since he was my mother's closest relative but then I went to live with Uncle Ned and Aunt Catelyn when school started." Jon answers, not sure why this is important.
"But he wasn't your closest relative was he. Your father was alive." Mr. Connington asks.
"So." Jon answers, irritation starting to form in him, and Mr. Connington is only on question number two. "I didn't know him and I don't recall him ever coming to see me the six years before that. My Aunt and Uncle on the other hand have always known me. I played with Robb when we were just babes in their apartment while my mother was at school. We went to pre-school together. I spent almost as much time in their home as I did my own. I don't think it's all that strange that I went to live with them instead of a man I didn't know." Jon answers, angry that the man is implying that they are in someway not his family and this stranger is.
The man speaks some more nonsense about if he knew about his father and how the Starks and their children had treated him. Even going so far as to ask if they had kept him well fed, almost making his Uncle stand up – only Aunt Catelyn's hand on his shoulder stopping him.
"Look I don't know what you want to hear but if you want to ask me if they ever abused me in any way the answer is NO!" Jon says, seething in his chair mirroring his Uncle. "They love me and I love them. They are my family, the only parents I have known since I was six. Their kids aren't just my cousins they're my brothers and sisters. I was there when most of them were born. I was the first of my siblings to hold Arya in my arms. I spend every Saturday in the living room of our home fighting over which movie we get to watch or what game to play. Aunt Catelyn has never missed a single game I've ever played and my Uncle taught me to swim, play football and ride a horse. When I got the flu when I was nine, my Aunt stayed with me the whole three days." He says angrily taking a deep breath before continuing.
"I don't even know your client, he has never in the fourteen years I've been alive tried to connect with me. All he does is make demands of the people who raised me that I be delivered to him. Just because he was at my conception doesn't mean he's my father; it just means he was a there. I don't want to live with him, I want to live with my family, in the house I've spent almost half my life in."
Jon stops speaking, realizing all he has said is true. They are his parents; his wish to have parents like them came true. He just never saw it because they had always been there. He looks at them now and he can see tears in Aunt Catelyn's eyes and his Uncle is staring at him with his usual fatherly expression and Jon knows he made the right choice.
"So if my opinion on this matters at all, I want to stay where I am, where I belong." Jon says staring at the judge.
He is almost crushed to death when the four Starks huddle around him after he is allowed to leave. Uncle Ned, Sansa and Robb let go first but Aunt Catelyn still clings to him, running her hand through is messy hair.
"You need a haircut." She says when she pulls back, making them all laugh.
"I know." Jon answers.
"Can we go home now?" Robb asks. "It's done right? Jon wants to stay with us so that man can't have him. Not that I ever doubted you bro, unlike somebody." Robb eyes his sister who blushes much like her mother is prone to do.
"I'm sorry Jon, I didn't mean it like that." Sansa says hitting her brother on the arm. "But I would understand if you wanted to get to know your other family to. It's not like we would just disappear."
"It's alright Sansa." He says hugging her to him, knowing she is the most sensitive of them. "I can't say I didn't think about it, but in the end I realized if he was interested in knowing me he could do it while I was living at home."
They all go home and once inside Bran and Arya jump Jon; the latter one going into full rant mode about how much the situation sucks and if the stupid judge is going to try to take him away. Jon just smiles and says he did his best to stay with the family and that seems to soothe the eight year old a little.
The next day Uncle Ned and Aunt Catelyn are called back to court but the kids stay at home with Uncle Benjen. They all stay in the family room, just waiting, though the younger ones soon get restless and Sansa starts playing some board game with Bran and Arya. Rickon starts walking around asking for mama every five minutes, as if asking will make her appear but thankfully Uncle Ben manages to make him fall asleep on the couch.
They have been gone for almost four hours when they finally arrive home and when they walk through the doors all six kids and Uncle Ben have gathered in the foyer waiting for them to get inside.
Jon can see it on Aunt Catelyn's face right away when she looks at him. She's too happy for them to have lost. He's sometimes astonished that the woman can play poker and practice law with such a bad pokerface but then again she doesn't have to conceal her feelings here.
"We won." Uncle Ned says once Aunt Catelyn lets go of him to hug Uncle Ben and then the rest of the kids, dragging them all with her to the family room. "The judge thought that since you already live here and have planted such good roots that as long as you choose to live here there is no better place for you. He did suggest that, if you wanted, we should look into opening some sort of dialog with Mr. Targaryen."
"You'd be okay with that?" Jon asks, shocked.
"If it is what you want." His Uncle says. "I can't say I'm looking forward to sharing you with another father but if it's what you want. I can speak with him."
Jon has always been like his Uncle in that he never likes to be overtly affectionate but now he puts his arms around him, thinking that since it's just the two of them nobody had to find out.
"Thanks, I'll think about it and don't worry. Nobody could ever replace you, you'll always be my father." Jon says.
"Thank you, Jon. That means the world to me." He answers. "So what do you want for dinner? I think it's your time to pick something."
Jon just smiles and follows the noise coming from the family room and looks inside to see Benjen and Catelyn sitting on the couch with Rickon cuddled into Aunt Catelyn's side. Bran and Arya chasing each other around the room and Sansa and Robb sitting at the table waving at him to join them. All this time he had been feeling like an outsider in their family never realizing that they never saw him as an outsider, but their brother and their son. A part of their pack.
The End.