A/N:

None of the grubs in this are cannon grubs, they're just nameless plot devices. None of the stuff in this is even a little cannon and I am totally aware that Eridan is OOC. This was largely self-indulgent and very crackish. Just be okay with it.

Rather than using all their typing quirks, I only did ones that come out as accents, like Eridan's and Sollux's lisp.

"Do you want to explain what the shell is going on here?"

"Do you wwant to explain wwhy the hell you came into my hivve wwhen I told absolutely nevver to do that?"

"Don't change the subject!"

"I didn't change the subject, you changed the subject. I wwalked in here to find that all of you had decided to come into my hivve uninvvited and ask you wwhat shell you wwere doin' in my hiwwe and you started yellin' at me!"

That was all that could be distinguished before shouting arose from all 12 of the trolls who were now standing in Eridan's hive.

But let's back up a little, shall we? I'm sure you'd like to understand what's going on here.

You see today was the violet trolls wiggling day and despite Eridan having forbidden Feferi or any other troll from entering his hive, the imperial had wanted to throw her moirail a surprise party. She had dismissed his constant warnings for others to keep away from his hive as him being grouchy and gathered the other 10 reluctant trolls to help her. Even Sollux had gotten roped into it.

They had all made their way across the sea on a small ship, just as the sun had set, to Eridan's little island with some decorations, some delicious looking snacks and a couple of Gamzee's pies which had somehow managed to sneak on board. Feferi had ensured that he would be out working at the time, having told him that Glub-Glub was being particularly fussy and would require more food than usual, so that they would have the perfect cover to slip in and prepare.

That was the plan anyways, however, said plan had grown wings and soared out the metaphorical window to be eaten by a metaphorical chirpbeast, when they opened the door to find a little violet blooded troll coddling a lime grub. Feferi, who was at the head of the group froze. The little wiggler locked eyes with her for all of about two seconds before they hugged the grub to themselves and took off into the depths of the hive.

Grumbling arose from the other's behind her as they tried to figure out why she was just standing in the doorway. She stayed frozen for a few more seconds before starting and attempting to run into the hive after the little troll.

Feferi made it about two steps before Sollux managed to reach out and grab her shoulder.

"FF, whath going on?"

Before she could answer, the wiggler from before had come back in, now without the grub but holding what appeared to be a small gun.

Both Feferi and Sollux froze this time, neither really understand what was happening. Said freezing lasted for about two seconds before Sollux managed to collect his thoughts enough to summon his psionics to pull the gun out of the little one's hands.

The violet wiggler seemed shocked and tried to reach for the gun, but the psionics kept it out of his reach. Feferi and Sollux looked at each other, neither quite knew what to do about the little thing.

After a few more seconds of Sollux keeping the gun away from the little wiggler, it seemed that the trolls behind the two of them had had enough.

"Alright, I don't know what the fuck is going on with you two in there but I'm coming in!" Karkat yelled as he pushed into the room. He stopped when he saw the wiggler, but unlike the other two he didn't stay frozen for very long. "What the fuck is going on here?! Why is there a fucking wiggler in Eridan's hive?!" Yelled the red-blooded troll before he launched into a fully blown rant which served only to confuse the troll behind him who were now also trying to make their way inside to figure out what was going on.

The wiggler seemed to figure out pretty quickly that he was outnumbered and had little hope of getting his gun back, so he fled back into the narrow passageways of the hive.

Kanya actually attempted to go after the little one, but she had been guarding the snacks near the back of the group and was unable to get through the crowd.

For a short length of time, the trolls all jumbled about in Eridan's entry, all trying to figure out whether the wiggler had somehow managed to wander in or if Eridan, was in fact, dead and his hive had been taken over. This period of discussion was short-lived, as the owner of the hive had finished his duties early and decided to return home.

When Eridan approached his hive, he notice right away that something was wrong due to the boat that most certainly not his that was currently stationed along his island's shore. Grabbing Ahab's Crosshairs from it's sheath, he reached the shore and dismounted his lucis before giving it instructions. "Go find the grubs and try a' get them out'a the hive."

Proceeding with care, the sea dweller slunk up the steps to the house. Peering in from the side of his doorway, he looked on with confusion at what he saw. There appeared to be a large group of young trolls in his hive, Feferi being the one that stood out, but after a moment of listening to them he quickly regionalized several others.

Eridan pulled himself out from behind the wall and proceed to march in, causing the halt to the conversation.

Now that you understand exactly what's going on, let's get on with the story, shall we?

"WILL EVERYONE SHUT UP." Roared Karkat after close to a minute of confusion and shouting. It was enough to get everyone to be quiet, for a few seconds at least. Once those seconds were gone, Kanya chose to speak up in an attempt to halt any further argument.

"Eridan, while I understand you are quite upset we are in your hive without your permission. We only came here in an attempt to celebrate your wiggling day with you, however it appears that there are one if not more wigglers hiding in your hive."

That got Eridan to stop in his tracks. He seemed to get flustered for a few moments, his aural

fins flutter for a second before he regained his composure and answered.

"Right, all the more reason for you guys to leavve. Clearly I havve an infestation and I need to do some cleanin'. You can go noww."

Feferi, however, was having none of it. Glaring him down, she stepped forward and started chewing him out.

"Oh no you don't mister, you and I both know it would be almost impossible for a grub, let only two to get out here. Not to mention the fact that the wiggler knew where to find your guns. I've seen how you hide those things. Now explain why the hell you're keeping grubs hidden away in your hive!"

Eridan met her glare for all of about twenty tense seconds before he figured out that he had little hope of winning.

Grumbling under his breath at her, Eridan resigned from their staring contest with a roll of his eyes and launched into an explanation.

When it had started he really hadn't meant for it to happen. That's how most of these sorts of things start don't they? One day you're minding your own business, hunting Lucus like any good orphaner and the next you find that you've killed the caretaker of a violet sea troll just like yourself. Well, actually, this one's a bit quieter than you.

He had been out hunting like normal, and managed to take down a whale Lucus that had been swimming away from it's pod, he had originally thought it to be a wild one. However, when he was dragging the kill back towards Glubglub, who was a ways off. Something proved him wrong. His eyes had been focused on keeping watch and not on the rope that was attached to the whale. It was a shame really because if he had been looking at it he would have noticed the angry, violet grub that was slowly but surely making it's way towards him.

Now, what you have to realize about grubs is that their teeth are incredibly sharp as it is basically their only defense against predators or other grubs. So when said sharp teeth were dug into his hindquarters with little intention of release, you can imagine that it hurt. A lot. The elder troll screamed as best he could underwater, all the while flailing violently. The flailing upset Seahorsedad who in turn also began to move in attempt to escape whatever invisible force was attack and all in all nobody was happy. To be fair that's how most things work out on Alterina.

Finally, and with much difficulty, Eridan managed to dislodge the grub from his rear-end and hold it out at arms length while it squirmed and tried to get some sort of grip on him. Eridan bit his lip as he looked at the little thing, part of him was scream to toss it back into the current like a true orphaner, but another little part of him looked into frosted lavender that were narrowed in anger and saw a little bit of himself in them.

Or maybe he was crazy. That could do it also.

Whatever it was that drove him to what he did wasn't important, what was is that after a few second more of staring, he moved one of his hands to pap the wiggler on the cheek. The grub froze and looked at him with something between shock and reproachfulness. At this point in time, Eridan had absolutely no idea what he was doing, he should have already doomed the damn thing but for some reason he hadn't, and even as he was curling the little thing under his arm for the journey back to his hive he was promising himself that as soon as they were back he would kill the damn thing.

He was lying.

And that was the perfectly reasonable start to his explanation to the 11 other trolls now gathered in his hive for what had formerly been a planned surprise party to celebrate his wriggling day before the others had discovered that his hive was in fact, filled with little trolls.