A/N: This story has been in my head and on my harddrive for a really long time. I started writing this just after Hell Night came out, I think but the idea was in my head even longer. This is my own little spin on the following events so basically going AU after Hell Night. The story is finished (~36,500 words) but I didn't feel like posting it all at once would be a good idea, so I'm posting one chapter a day. I split it into four chapters, so you won't have to wait for too long. Although please don't kill me if I miss a day because I'm a scatterbrain.
This story would not have been possible without Mir, who always asked for more and gave me new motivation to write when I was all but set on just throwing it away.
Thanks to Courtney, who, as always, encourages me to write and makes me feel better whenever I'm ready to just go and live in a sock drawer.
I also have to say a million thanks to my lovely Beta Beth without whom this would be full of stupid mistakes and probably very annoying to read.
I do not own anything. Julian, Derek and Logan are characters from CP Coulter's "Dalton".
The only sounds in the room came from the machines that were hooked up to a pale, unmoving arm of a body lying in a hospital bed, and the soft breathing of a boy sleeping on a chair. His sleep was restless and uneasy; he was muttering words in his sleep from time to time and thrashing from one side to the other as much as possible in the tight space of the hospital chair. Dark circles were prominent under his eyes and one side of his face was covered in scratches. His hands were in an even worse state; half-burned and a long cut on his right palm. His hair was singed off in a few spots and the former blond was now streaked with black ash and dirt.
Suddenly the constant beeping of the machines sped up and the boy in the chair sat up straight at once, his eyes flying straight to the boy lying in the hospital bed, grasping his hand that still lay unmoving on the bed.
"Jules?" he whispered, voice too raw to echo in the small room. "Jules, please wake up," the boy begged, emotion prominent in his voice. Seconds later a coughing fit shook the body of the blond boy and for a moment the heartbeat of the unconscious boy sped up even more as if reacting to the blond's voice. As if in slow motion, the brunet's eyes began to flutter before opening.
The blond squeezed his hand carefully, holding on for dear life, obviously afraid to let go. Slowly his eyes opened completely and brown collided with green.
"You're awake," the blond sighed, a smile on his lips, ", you idiot scared me to death. Leave it to the diva to make everyone wait for his big entrance right?" Looking at the brunet he only found a confused expression on his face. "Oh, hold on, I'm going to get a doctor." He slowly disentangled himself from the plastic chair and walked towards the door.
Finally, a loud groan came from the boy in the hospital bed.
"Wait," he croaked, voice raspy and unsteady, "who are you?"
In a fluid motion the blond turned back towards the bed, eyes wide and body completely still, searching the brunet's face for a sign of a joke or anything really.
"Very funny, princess."
"Don't call me princess," the brunet snapped. "My name is…" he stopped midsentence a confused look in his eyes, stalling, as if he was looking for the right word. "My name is….uhm… I… I mean."
"Julian, stop it. It's not funny."
"Julian? Who's that?"
The blond paled, his hands started to shake.
"Whatever. Who the hell are you and why are you in here? Wait… where exactly am I? I was just… uhm… yeah, I don't know. Doesn't matter. Get out of my room, creep."
A broken sob wrecked through the blond's body and he bit his lip, almost drawing blood.
"Uhm… I'll just go and get a doctor." With that he turned around, not wanting the other one to see the tears sliding down his cheeks.
When the door closed the boy in the hospital bed tried to sit up but had trouble with it due to his bandaged hands. He let out a frustrated groan and stopped moving. What was going on? Why was he in the hospital and what the hell had happened to his hands? More importantly though, why couldn't he remember his name? He wracked his brain, trying to remember something, anything. There had to be a clue to what had happened, where he had been or why. Slowly he tilted his head to look down on his body. His hands had been bandaged and he had experienced the pain of using them when he had tried to sit up. His legs felt okay, but one was bandaged all the way up to his thigh as well. He wriggled his toes, just to check. Carefully he blinked his eyes and moved his eyebrows, feeling a small sting on his face; probably some other wound. But what the hell had happened?
The brunet sighed in frustration as he came up empty. Not a single thing. It felt like there was something, brushing against his mind, but he couldn't quite grasp it. It was a weird feeling, knowing that there had to be things, memories and stuff he knew, that were gone. What if it never came back? What if he never remembered who he was? A headache was slowly starting to spread while he tried to force his mind to remember something, anything.
Where was that other boy with the doctor anyway? And who exactly was he? Maybe that was his brother and his parents were just down in the cafeteria or something. He tried to picture the other boy in his mind, were there any similarities between them? Once more he came up empty. He had nothing else to do but wait.
After what felt like a really long time he heard footsteps echoing in the hallway outside, moving closer to his door. They stopped outside the door and he could hear muffled voices talking. Was that the boy from earlier?
"…. Doesn't remember… asked me who I was."
Another, older voice, maybe the doctor or his father responded.
"….not unusual… bad trauma….blow to the head…"
The voices stopped and there was a firm knock on the door.
"Come in," the boy in the hospital bed said, hoping that at least some of his questions would be answered. The door opened to reveal a man in his mid-forties in a lab coat followed by the blond boy.
"Hello Julian, my name is Doctor Mathewson and I've been treating you since you came here." The man stepped up to the bed and helped the boy sit up against the pillows.
"Julian? Is… is that my name?" The boy asked quietly once he had settled down comfortably against the pillows, trying to get a feel for the name, hoping that it would seem somewhat familiar.
"Yes," the doctor said softly, "yes it is. Your full name is Julian Larson-Armstrong. You're 17 years old and attend Dalton Academy in Westerville where you were hurt in a tragic catastrophe. We weren't sure you'd make it but your vitals look strong and that's a really good sign. You have severe burns on your leg, as well as on your hands. You have a long cut on your face and down your neck, but there wasn't any damage to the nerves. You also suffered a severe trauma to the head and it seems like that caused the amnesia. At this point I can't tell you whether it's temporary or will last. In a few hours we're going to run a few tests and see if we can figure something out."
"I…I… my head hurts. I can't… I can't remember anything. Everything is gone. Where are my parents? Why aren't they here? And…" he stopped for a second, trying to catch his breath.
"Julian, your parents are on the other side of the country in LA, we informed them as soon as we could get a hold of them. Your mother is on her way but it'll take a while until she gets here," the doctor explained.
Julian nodded slowly, noticing the sting it sent through his face. "And who is blondie over there?" He gestured to the blond who was now leaning casually against the wall by the door, eyes trained intently on Julian, an unsure expression on his face. "Brother? Friend? Stalker?" At the last part he laughed out loud, missing the way the blond suddenly tensed up, clenching his jaw tightly.
The doctor turned around and smiled at Logan, patting his arm reassuringly before excusing himself and leaving the room.
Tentatively the blond pushed himself off the wall and stepped towards the bed, clearing his throat before locking his eyes back on Julian.
"I'm Logan. We… we go to school together. We've been b-b-best friends since freshman year. We…"
"So that's why you've been waiting lovingly at my deathbed," the brunet interrupted, once again not noticing the shocked expression on Logan's face as he casually mentioned that he'd almost died. "Got a crush on me? I mean, you're gay right?" It took all of Logan's strength to simply nod at Julian's question. "Not that I mind, it's cool." Logan still stood next to the bed, eyes wide, biting his lip to keep from rushing out everything he had wanted to say to Julian the minute he woke up.
"Hey, hold on. We're not like," he paused for a moment and his face softened a little bit, "like a couple and I'm causing you sheer agony because I forgot you, right?"
Logan swallowed the lump that was in his throat, trying to get rid of the uneasy feeling before looking back at Julian. "No," he whispered just softly enough for Julian to hear. Then he thought about how the other one might take it. "No, of course not. Don't be silly. Just friends, I promise," he said with more determination in his voice.
For a few moments Julian simply stared at Logan, trying to see whether he was telling the truth or not. It was difficult because the other boy was so unfamiliar to him and he seemed like a really guarded person, or maybe he was just complicated.
"Okay, I was a bit scared for a moment. Wait, am I with anyone?"
Logan rolled his eyes. Were those the questions you ask after waking up from a coma, barely making it and suffering from amnesia?
"No, you're not."
"Good. Well, I mean… at least there's nobody I forgot about, right?" He forced a smile on his face, feeling the sting of the cut on his face once again. "So, this catastrophe the doc was talking about, what happened?"
Logan shuffled from one foot to the other, biting his lip again while wringing his hands. "I-I don't know if I should tell you. It's- well, it's a lot to take in and if you're not ready I don't want you to… uhm… well maybe you should get a bit stronger before I tell you."
Julian stared at Logan disbelieving, before smirking. "Sure you don't have a crush on me? You're mighty protective for 'just a friend'," he said, doing air quotes to emphasize his question.
"Yes, I mean, no…no crush just… we've always been protective of each other, you, me and Derek. It's just how we work. No one looks out for us if we don't look out for each other."
"Derek?"
"Oh right, amnesia, sorry. He's at Dalton as well. The third in the trio so to say," Logan smiled at Julian.
"Wow, ten minutes ago I didn't even know who I was and now I have two best friends. It's a weird feeling. Just… I don't know…" he trailed off, staring into space for a moment. "Why are you here though and not David?"
"Derek," Logan corrected, "Oh fuck, he wanted me to call him if anything changed. I'll be right back." With that the blond quickly left the room, closing the door softly behind him.
Once more Julian found himself alone with his thoughts, trying to remember anything. There had been one moment where he could have sworn to see a flicker of Logan in his head that reminded him of something. Something powerful and warm but before he could put a finger on it, it was already gone.
Through the door he could hear the voice of the other boy talking loudly on the phone.
"… Woke up. Yeah…he's fine, so far. D, he has amnesia… doesn't remember anything. No… no, nothing about the Art Hall, the fire… nothing… nothing from before..." for a moment he was quiet obviously listening to what the other boy was saying on the phone. "Derek, shut up, I said... no doesn't remember telling me… I don't…yes, yes. What am I supposed to do? Huh… no, that wouldn't… please get your ass here… D, I can't…" a loud sob came from the other side of the door. "I don't… Derek please….. I-I need you here… I'm scared… I can't… No I'm not selfish. He told me that… yeah, I stayed with him because I wanted to tell him… give him a chance. I… no, what do you think I am? Stupid? Shut up and get your ass over here. "
Logan's voice halted suddenly and Julian held his breath, waiting for the other boy to come back into the room. After almost two minutes went by without Logan returning, Julian started to wonder about that phone call. He had only understood half of the sentences and most things didn't make sense without having heard the other half of the conversation but something was definitely going on here, even he could sense that much.
It was weird how Logan refused to tell him what had happened at school. Well, it was school right? And a private one at that so how bad could it be. Why would he refuse to answer the question, unless what happened was tied to Julian in some way? Could he…could he have caused it? No that was silly, how can a normal 17-year old cause such havoc, involving a fire and somehow an Art Hall. The first waves of another headache started to wash over him and he pressed his hands to his temples, trying to sooth the throbbing pain.
After another five minutes there was a knock on the door before Logan opened it and slipped back into the room. Julian could see a faint hint of redness in Logan's eyes when the other one looked at him. Apart from Logan's harsh breathing the room was completely silent, a sense of awkwardness hanging in the air between them.
Logan was the first to find words. "How are you feeling?"
"Okay, I guess. Just…uhm… trying to remember stuff gives me a headache."
"Oh, do you want me to go find someone and ask for pain meds?"
"No, it's fine you don't have to be my personal nurse, although I wouldn't mind seeing you in a cute candy striper outfit." The brunet chuckled to himself at the thought, noticing the faint blush creeping onto Logan's cheeks but dismissing it straight away as having imagined it.
The blond pulled the chair he had used earlier back towards the bed and sat down, eyes never leaving Julian; as if he was afraid that the other boy might fall back into coma or disappear altogether. It was weird; as if there was something hanging in the air between them, unsaid and out of reach because of his amnesia.
"What's wrong?"
Logan sighed and wiped a hand over his face. "Nothing. Why would anything be wrong? You're the one lying in a hospital as pale as the ugly sheets."
"Haha very funny. Sorry, I'm not up to my normal complexion. But you don't look so good either."
Logan looked down at his hands, studying the burns on his hands, sliding a careful finger over the cut on his palm. "Yeah well, I still look better than you do," Logan quipped, smirking at Julian.
The other boy huffed, rolling his eyes. "You wish, Wright. That'll never happen."
With a jolt Logan sat up straight in his chair, almost toppling over in his hurry. "What did you just say?"
"I said: 'You wish, Wright. That'll never happen.'"
A huge smile crossed Logan's face causing Julian too look at him in complete confusion. "What's got you grinning like a fool?"
"You said 'Wright'. You called me Wright."
"So what?"
"That's my last name." Julian still looked at him, not understanding anything at all. "I never told you my last name."
"Wait… so I-I remembered it?"
"Seems like it. How would you explain it otherwise?"
"So…that's a good thing right? I mean it means that all my memories are going to come back."
"I don't know, maybe. Do you remember anything else?"
Julian frowned, his eyebrows knitting together in concentration, wracking his brain for something but like the times before he came up empty. He dropped his gaze to his hands in his lap, getting more frustrated by the second. "No," he whispered quietly, almost too low for Logan to hear but every fibre of his being was so focused on Julian that he heard it.
A silent sob wracked through Julian's body, surprising Logan. As another sob shook the brunet, Julian quirked up in surprise as the hands in his lap were joined by another one. For a moment he watched in wonder as long, slender fingers wrapped around his hands, holding them tightly. His eyes followed the line of Logan's arm up and settled on his face. A soft smile was playing on the blond's lips, trying to reassure Julian as best as he could.
A warm feeling spread through Julian, calming him down and making him instantly feel a bit better. What was it about the other boy that relaxed him so easily? They were just friends after all. Julian's breathing evened out and his body stopped shaking.
"It'll be okay," Logan said softly, "you have to give yourself time. Remembering my last name is a first step in the right direction." For a moment Logan paused, trying to gauge Julian's reaction, but the other boy had dropped his gaze again. "Hey, look at me," Logan said, putting a hand under Julian's chin to make him look up. "It's going to be alright. Even if you don't remember, I'll tell you everything. Me and Derek, we'll be here for you. Nothing can keep us away, understand? I'll be here for you." Logan looked into Julian's eyes intently, as if he wanted, no needed him to understand more than anything in the world.
Their gazes were locked onto each other, neither one of them was blinking. Something was going on between them but Julian still had no idea what it was. He was too confused by everything that had happened since he had woken up. Now his eyes were trained on Logan's, and he could see every little detail. Logan's eyes were the greenest colour he had ever seen; well at least he couldn't remember anything more beautiful than the blond's eyes. It was so quiet in the room that Julian was sure Logan was able to hear his heart speeding up again.
Actually Logan was able to hear his heart speeding up. With a jolt Julian leaned away from Logan, instantly missing the warmth of Logan's fingers under his chin. With a frightened expression on his face he looked over to the stupid machine that was still hooked up to his body, showing every single beat of his heart. This was embarrassing beyond everything.
"I'm... uh sorry. I didn't mean to-to make you uncomfortable," Logan said slowly, his hand still hovering in the air were seconds earlier Julian's chin had been.
"No...it's okay. You didn't. I mean... we're friends so this... uh it's okay." Julian stuttered, knowing full well that he was sounding like a complete idiot. But what was it about the other boy that turned him into this blubbering mess. He hadn't been like that earlier. Leave it to him to wake up from a coma and be completely coherent but once this gorgeous boy touched him... wait, no, not gorgeous. What was he thinking, this was his friend. People don't think about their friends like this. What was wrong with him? "It's just a tiny bit weird. You know, I just woke up and I have no memory of being friends and yet... and yet everything feels okay and like it's okay to be like this with you."
A slight blush had crept into Julian's cheeks and he looked down at his hands once more embarrassed at having revealed so much.
"It's okay Jules. I can't even begin to understand how confusing this is and maybe I should keep my distance until... until you're more comfortable around me or until your memories are back. It's just..." the blond paused for a moment unsure of what to say, "It's just...we're best friends and we know each other inside out..."
"Sure you don't have a crush on me?" Julian asked smirking at the stuttering mess Logan was producing.
Logan's eyes flew back to Julian's, "What? No, no... I mean...not that that would be bad, it's just...uh..."
"Complicated?" Julian provided.
Logan exhaled in a loud puff. "Yes," he said, grateful for Julian's interruption.
"Ooookay." Julian, still smirking, looked around the room for something to do until his eyes fell on a glass of water which he took from the nightstand and sipped slowly.
"Jules, I... Derek didn't think it would be a good idea but..."
"What? You going to tell me why this is obviously awkward while we apparently are the best of friends? Let me guess," Julian paused, eyes searching for something in Logan's face. "We went to a party, got drunk and you kissed me? Obviously I freaked out and now it's the awkward, we know what making out with each other feels like stage where we avoid talking about it, hoping that everything will go back to normal."
Despite the seriousness of their whole situation Logan couldn't stop himself from bursting into laughter. "Oh my God, you are so wrong."
For a few seconds Julian took the luxury of watching Logan's face. This was the first time the blond had really laughed and it suited him so much better than the other glum expression.
"Okay, let me try again." Logan gestured for Julian to go on. "We met your ex and he was all talking about how happy he is with his new boyfriend and then you introduced me as your boyfriend and kissed me. Since I'm a fabulous actor who takes every opportunity to act I played along and well, here we are again with the whole we-kissed-now-it's-awkward-stage." Julian smirked at his own insane theory and watched as Logan's face once again contorted into and expression of surprise and wonder.
"Jules? How do you know that you're an actor?"
"I am?"
"Yes, since your childhood, well I think more like since the moment you were born."
"Huh? I don't know. It just... just came out like that. The second thing I remembered while talking about something completely different. This is so weird."
"But it's good weird, right? It means that you still know those things they're just... I don't know. Locked away or something."
"Yeah, or something." In the matter of a few seconds the atmosphere in the room had changed once more from light to dark. The fact that Julian couldn't remember most of his life wasn't something that could be forgotten by making a few jokes.
Almost five minutes went by until Julian shook the feeling of despair off himself. "So was I right?"
Logan looked up from where he had been studying his hands intently. "No, not even close."
"Okay, so maybe you were just horny and I offered to help you out."
"Nope, and why do you think it was me who did anything?"
"You mean... Wait? Am I... am I gay?" Julian asked, looking at Logan curiously, maybe he was, would that be so weird? But, what if he didn't feel like that anymore, now.
Before Logan could answer, his phone vibrated in his pocket and he pulled it out only to see that Derek was calling him.
"Hold on, it's Derek, I'll just get him from wherever he is right now."
With that the blond got up and walked out of the room, door closing softly behind him.
Confusion washed over Julian. What was going on here? And why wouldn't Logan tell him? Once again Julian was left alone with his thoughts racing in his head. Was he gay? He tried to think about how he had reacted to the last women he had seen but he couldn't. It took him a few moments until he realised why. He had just woken up from a stupid coma two hours ago. Why was this so important to him right now? Was it Logan's presence or were his thoughts always so inappropriate in complicated situations.
He chuckled, thinking how weird it was for somebody who had nearly died, to worry about his sexual orientation only two hours after waking up. They should make a movie about someone with this habit of disconnected thoughts. Hey, maybe he could even star in it, what with apparently being an actor. This was so weird.
The minutes ticked by slowly, as if to mock him. Once his thoughts had slowed down he felt the loneliness that Logan had left behind creep up on him; what was it about the other boy that kept him so on edge? He hadn't even been gone for ten minutes and already Julian missed his presence.
The room was completely quiet apart from Julian's harsh breathing and the machines. He couldn't make any sense of his feelings or thoughts, scrambled up in his mind. The one thing that was clear to him was that he needed nothing more than an explanation. Logan not telling him everything or answering his questions made him feel uneasy; like, like there was something else going on underneath the surface, something he couldn't grasp or even begin to understand. Whatever had happened at their school must have had a huge impact on Logan, something that he didn't feel like talking about.
Once again Julian could hear steps outside his room, moving closer until stopping right outside. Even before the other boy spoke up, Julian knew that it was Logan outside with that other guy. What was his name? David? Daniel? Derek? Yeah that's it, Derek.
"D, remember what I told you."
"Don't you think he has a right to know?"
"No, I mean… of course but…but he just woke up and… Damn it. Why? Derek, why? Haven't we gone through enough already?"
A moment of silence left Julian even more uneasy; he hated not knowing what was going on outside his door. Why were they so quiet? Restlessness crept up on him, swallowing him whole.
Then he could hear Derek's voice again, softer this time. "I know. It'll be alright, at least we're all okay."
"Are you kidding? He lost his memory, he doesn't remember anything. He didn't even know his own name," Logan's voice came through the door loudly.
"Logan, stop it. You know what I meant. Stop whining, it'll be alright. Trust me. Whatever it is, as long as we stick together, we can manage it."
"Yeah… okay but still. Remember what I told you. Don't… just don't okay?"
Seconds later they knocked on his door but once again it opened before he could even say anything. Behind Logan was a smaller but slightly more muscular boy with brownish hair, looking a bit glum and unsure of what to expect. The other one closed the door behind him before pulling another chair close to the bed and settling down in it, all while Logan still stood hesitantly in the middle of the room.
"It's good to see you awake Julian. I'm Derek, we…we go to school together, well I don't know how much Logan has told you…"
"I know that we're friends," Julian interrupted, smiling at Derek. "I'm sorry…"
"What for?" Derek asked, looking at Julian intently.
"Just…forgetting you and everything."
"Don't worry, it's okay," he placed a firm hand on Julian's resting on the blanket. "We're here for you no matter what."
"Wow, you're all very touchy feely aren't you?"
Derek looked alarmed and pulled his hand away from his best friend. "Sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."
"No, it's not that, I mean…it is but… I just feel like I don't even know you and here you are trying to comfort me. It's just weird."
"Sorry," Derek wrung his hands in his lap, eyes trained on the floor.
"Stop apologizing. It's okay, I just have to get used to it."
A small, hopeful smile spread on Derek's lips and for the first time he turned around to look at Logan.
"So what now?" Julian asked, noticing the small exchange of gazes between the two other boys.
Logan startled out of his thoughts and moved towards his abandoned chair. Plopping down he looked at Julian.
"Dunno. The doctor said they need to run a few tests and I guess there's nothing much we can actually do."
"Okay, whatever. I mean it's not like I could run off, right?" He laughed out loud, "it's not like I'd know where to go."
"Jules…" Derek started.
"No, it's okay, I'm compensating with humour I guess," Julian said with a shrug looking a little lost and miserable.
"That's just like you. You'd never tell anyone how miserable you really are."
"So, it looks like deep down I'm still me."
"You'll always be you, no matter what. I'm sure you'll get your memories back but even if you don't, we'll be here with you and remind you of who you used to be," Derek promised, looking at Logan for confirmation. Julian still seemed uneasy, unsure of how to handle the situation. Julian didn't feel reassured by Logan's behaviour at all. Trying to coax more out of his friends he smiled.
"So, how did I end up here?"
"Jules," Logan began tentatively, "I don't think we should talk about that right now. You have to get better first and then we'll have time to talk about everything. Just…just concentrate on getting better, okay?"
Julian looked at the two boys sitting in front of his bed. He still couldn't shake the feeling that something more was going on here, and no one was telling him about it. But despite having no memories of them, knowing that these two apparently cared enough about him to want to protect him was sending a warm feeling through his body. It was weird to think that they had all those memories of them together while they were strangers to him.
"Yeah, I guess. Just, it feels like there's this huge part that is missing, like there's this huge thing that I shouldn't forget, but I did and it doesn't feel right."
Derek put his hand once more on top of Julian's, trying to calm him down.
"Don't beat yourself up, Jules. Maybe it'll take time but we'll figure it out and it'll be alright."
For a moment Julian's eyes fell back onto Logan's uneasy, frightened expression before the blond could put on a brave face for him.
An uncomfortable silence settled in the room, leaving the three boys to their own thoughts.
Julian still couldn't shake the feeling that they were hiding something from him. Something that would explain why he was here in the first place and why they tried to keep the truth from him. What was the reason for all this? Was the accident his fault? Had he caused it? He simply had to know.
"Did…did I blow up the school or something? Is that why I'm here and sexy over there looks like someone held a candle to his hair?"
The atmosphere in the room shifted in an instant. Derek pressed his lips together tightly, trying and failing so obviously to hide his amusement. Julian shot a quick look at Logan, who seemed to have stopped breathing altogether.
A lazy smirk played on Julian's lips as he looked back at Derek who was now shaking with silent laughter.
"Oh sorry, so I blew up the school didn't I? I shouldn't have said anything?"
Derek tried to control his laughter but almost choked and was thrown into a coughing fit. It took him a few more seconds to calm down enough to answer Julian's question.
"No you didn't, Julian. Wow you must've damaged your head pretty badly to even think that."
Julian looked confused at the other boy for a moment.
"And that was so funny that you almost choked to death?"
"No," he cracked another smile, "god no," another round of laughter escaped Derek. "Just… the way…you…you called Logan 'sexy over there' just… Look at him. He's all uncomfortable and…" Derek stopped talking instantly after a very stern look from Logan.
"Uhm…oooookay. I still don't get it though. He's hot and I bet he knows it." Once again Logan's eyes widened and Derek finally gave up and burst into laughter.
Julian started to feel like they were making fun of him. What the hell was going on? Maybe he should just shut up and not say anything. His headache slowly started to send a dull throbbing through his head again and Derek laughing about him and Logan looking all uncomfortable really started to piss him off.
"What the fuck?" he snapped glaring at his… well, his friends. "If you're done laughing about the guy with amnesia, kindly show your sorry asses the fuck out of my room."
Derek stopped laughing at once, staring at Julian, eyes wide before dropping his gaze and looking guiltily at the ground.
"Jules…"
"Don't you 'Jules' me. I'm sick of you laughing about me and of blondie over there not telling me anything. So fuck off…"
"Calm down, diva," Logan snapped, earning himself a death glare from Julian, as well as a slap across the back of his head from Derek.
"Hit him again, would ya? I can't quite reach him right now," Julian quipped, eyes still blazing with anger.
For a second Logan shrunk back into his chair, trying to get out of Derek's reach.
"Oh wow you're really afraid of him aren't you?" Julian said, smirking at Logan.
"Shut up, prima donna," Logan said weakly, the small smile that played on his lips deceiving him.
"No, but Julian, you have to trust us. We're your friends and we're here for you no matter what."
"Yeah, I got that the first fifty times around. You sound like a broken record."
"Okay, okay, got it. So…" Derek trailed off, looking at Logan for help but the blond only shrugged in response.
Silence hung weary in the bland room as the three boys looked around the room, not wanting to meet each other's eyes. Julian huffed inwardly. What was he supposed to talk about to these two? He hardly knew them, although there still was this feeling he couldn't shake off. Despite not knowing or at least not remembering them, it still felt calming in a way to talk to them. At least until they ran out of things to talk about. Well, there still was the story of how he ended up in here to talk about but he was sick of being shut down by them.
"Well, this is sufficiently awkward," Julian said, staring out the window.
"Sorry, we…"
"Stop apologizing. I get it, it's weird talking to me, while I don't even remember you."
"That's not…"
"Cut the bullshit alright? I have amnesia, I'm not stupid. Don't you think I understand how fucked up this is?"
"Julian stop…"Logan started but was cut off by Julian once again.
"No, I don't want to stop. This is how it's going to be. I don't remember anything and that's that. Deal with it. Leave me alone. My head is pounding and it hurts like fucking hell. So just leave," Julian all but begged, his hands pressed to his temples. "Please," he added as an afterthought.
The two boys looked at each other, still unsure of what to do.
"I mean it. I need some time for myself. It's just… there's so much going through my head right now and I'm just tired of trying to remember, so please… please get out," his eyes pricked with unshed tears, he willed himself not to cry. The last thing he wanted right now was to show weakness, even in front of his… in front of Logan and Derek.
"Okay," Derek said after a quick look at Julian. He stood up and turned towards Logan. "Come on then, Logan. We'll let him get some rest," turning back to Julian, he gave him a lazy smile. "It's getting late anyways and we still have to drive back to Dalton."
Reluctantly Logan stood up, eyes fixed intently on Julian as if he was afraid the brunet might vanish the second he looked away.
"But I don't…"
"Logan, give him his space. He just woke up without remembering anything. Try to imagine how you'd feel." Julian wasn't sure but he thought he heard Logan mutter "Probably much better than I do now," under his breath. Derek looked at Julian apologetically and then questioningly. "If it's alright with you we could come back tomorrow. You know, just to talk or… whatever."
While the other two boys, well actually Derek was the only one who already stood at the door, got ready to leave, Julian had shrunk back in on himself; his arms clutching his body tightly and his gaze lingering on the blanket.
"Julian?" Logan asked, voice quivering, eyes flitting from Julian to Derek and back again. It was a small movement but Derek caught Julian's shrug anyway.
"Good, that's settled then. We'll be back tomorrow for visiting hours and there's no stopping us," Derek said the last bit with a smile on his face, trying once again to reassure Julian that they weren't leaving him to deal with this on his own.
"Whatever," Julian's whispered reply wa barely audible in the room.
Derek glared at Logan before pushing him closer to the door.
"See you tomorrow then, get some rest," Derek said as he opened the door. "Oh your mother should get here some time later tonight, at least that what she said last time I talked to her." With that Derek waved a bit awkwardly in Julian's direction before stepping out of the room.
Logan lingered in the doorway, unwilling to leave Julian alone. Holding the door open with one hand he cleared his throat trying to get Julian's attention. Slowly the other boy looked up at him.
"I'm sorry… for…for making you uncomfortable and upset. It's just," he paused, searching for the right words, "it's just difficult to accept this." He stopped himself again and ran a hand through his hair. "Wow, that sounded really selfish, even for me." Julian could feel the edges of his mouth lazily lifting up, a smile spreading on his lips. "Just… I want, no, I need you to get better and remember, Julian. Please," the blond said intently, eyes boring into Julian's, willing him to understand. "I put your phone on the nightstand… I…if there's anything you need tonight or you want to talk, my number's in there. Don't… I mean… whatever it is, just call or text me, okay?"
Julian nodded, wringing his hands in his lap.
"Okay, I'll go then. See you tomorrow. Bye." Logan turned and closed the door behind him, not catching Julian's whispered "Goodbye."