A/N: Okay, so I know that this chapter is really short, and some of you are probably thinking 'what the hell'. But please bare with me for a bit. I was actually in the middle of writing this chapter (it was much longer to begin with) when my laptop battery suddenly decided to die on me. I lost everything. Figures this would happen the one and only time I forget to save my progress. Anywho, but now I have a replacement battery, and everything is slowly getting back on track. That said, I missed my planned update day (yesterday), and since I did not want to keep you guys hanging too long, I decided to go ahead and post what would have been the first part of chapter 2 now, and then I will post the second part as Chapter 3 (it will be much longer I promise). All of that aside though, I still hope you all enjoy this one. :)
-Uncharted Territory -
Chapter 2
4 Months Ago…
Hey. Brought you some soup. Want some company? *Nell
Thanks, but no. I just wanna be alone. Sorry. *Deeks
Yo Deeks! Geez, you look like hell. What you need, is some serious wave time. *Eric
Sorry. N-now's just not a good time for me. *Deeks
This isn't you. Sitting in the dark and wallowing in fear…it's not healthy. You need help. If not from me, or Hetty, or Nate…then at least find someone you can talk to. Trust me…keeping things bottled up inside will only make things worse. *Callen
Deeks, ya need to talk to someone, man. Anyone. Hell, I've been seeing Nate. You could come with me some- *Sam
Don't you guys get it! I don't want to talk to Nate, or Eric, or Nell, or Hetty, or even you! I just…I just need- *Deeks
Admit it. You don't know what you need. *Sam
Mr. Deeks, I'm not here to lecture you. I am merely here to offer up some sound wisdom. What you went through at the hands of that man was a terrible thing indeed. But know this, you are not the only one suffering…and I don't mean Mr. Hanna. You need her, just as much as she needs you.*Hetty
I don't want him back, if he's not the man he was. *Hetty
She's right. They are all right. About everything.
LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA
She's lost deep within her own thoughts when she hears it. It's soft at first, barely audible, but then the second time it comes through much louder. She looks up, blinking wildly at the fog in her brain, as she struggles to get her bearings straight. "Wha-"
Knock. Knock. Knock.
There it is again.
Kensi's brows knit together in confusion. She stands up from the sofa, and stares across the room at her front door. Who could it be? She tries to think who could be at her door this late in the evening, and then it hits her. She lets out an audible groan, hanging her head, as she starts towards the door.
I told Nell I wasn't in the mood for a 'girl's night'. She thinks to herself with a scowl painted over her face. If she's being honest right now, she's in far too much pain to do anything really. All she wants is to forget. About him. About the kiss. About how much it hurt when he pushed her away when she tried to help him. She's hurting, and for that she wants so much to hate him—Wants to, being the operative phrase here. She can't, however, and she knows that she never will.
She lets out a long sigh, as she reaches the front door, and prays a silent prayer that whatever happens next will be quick and painless.
"Nell, I told you I'm not in the mood for-" she says, as she pulls open the door. She stops mid-sentence as her eyes fall upon the figure standing on her doorstep, and the sight nearly does her in.
Not a word is spoken for the longest time, and the silence that surrounds them becomes almost deafening. A million things run through Kensi's mind all at once, and she briefly wonders if there's a chance that she is still sitting on the sofa dreaming.
Deeks is the first to break the silence. "Sorry. I'm not Nell…obviously." He says quietly, as he runs his finger through his shaggy locks. His eyes don't meet hers. They only stare at the ground around his feet.
She swallows a hard lump in her throat, and wills herself to keep it together as she struggles to find words. When she finally does open her mouth though, all that comes out is his name. "Deeks." It comes out sounding rough and broken, not unlike the man currently standing before her. "What-What are you doing here?" the question comes out a little harsher than she intended, and it makes him flinch visibly under the low porch light. She instantly wishes that she could take it back entirely, but it is too late now for that.
He shifts uncomfortably where he stands, as if unsure of whether to continue or not. "I-I need your help."
Kensi can hardly believe what she is hearing from her partner. It sounds so pathetic and child-like, and so unlike him. It breaks her heart to see that this is what her beloved partner has been reduced to. Suddenly all of the anger she had been feeling previously dissipates in a second, and all that remains is sadness and confusion.
"I mean…I'll understand if you don't want to. Why would you, anyway?" the last part is meant to be rhetorical of course, but that doesn't stop Kensi from at least trying to say something. Nothing comes though.
Deeks sucks in a huge breath before letting it go, and then he finally lifts his eyes to meet her mismatched orbs. "I know I've been avoiding you, and I know that I've hurt you. I honestly have no right to ask you for anything after all the pain I've caused you and everyone else who's tried to help me." With the last word he lowers his eyes to the ground once more.
"I'm not me anymore, Kens. I'm not even sure I remember how to be me. But I know I can't live like this anymore…I don't want to."
Kensi steps down out of the house and onto the front steps. "I tried to help you before, but you pushed me away. What changed? Tell me that, Deeks. What is it that all of a sudden makes you think I can help you?"
Deeks looks up at the beautiful brunette, standing in front of him wearing one of his old t-shirts, and as his pacific blues search her mismatched orbs the answer comes out. And it is a familiar one at that.
"Because you're my partner…and I'm scared…and you're the only one I can trust."
TBC…
