Fear
It's cold tonight. Much colder than usual. Kenny hears Karen's tiny whimpering cries from the adjacent room. He shivers violently and hugs the blanket closer to his body, then lets his breath out in a long shudder. His feet hit the ground, thick wool socks double layered. He trods into her room quietly- she's asleep. Crying, but asleep. Kenny feels his heart sink. It's too cold. It's just too cold.
He tugs his hood tighter, and gently lays his comforter over her, tucking in the sides gently. After a few moments, she shivers less, but doesn't stop. He goes back to his room, searching. He doesn't have much. That was his only blanket- he's wearing his only jacket- ah. He pauses, and tugs at the sleeve of his ratty orange parka thoughtfully. With a shiver and a sigh, he returns to karen's room and pulls it off.
"Karen. Karen, wake up. Put this on, okay?" She blinks the sleep from her eyes gently, blearily, focusing on him with unsteady awareness.
"Kenny? Is that you?" Kenny nods, and holds up the jacket. She turns around and pushes her tiny arms through the oversized sleeves. Kenny tucks her in with the double comforters tighter this time and she settles back into her pillow, then suddenly shifts and turns over to look at him in his stained tank.
"But won't you be cold?" She asks with sudden lucidity. Kenny pets her hair and smiles, shaking his head.
"Don't worry about me. I'm always fine, huh?" She frowns, and nods slowly. He smiles, and ruffles her hair. She grins and snuggles back into her cocoon, her shivering stilled.
"Thanks, bro." She yawns, and stops moving. Kenny stands up, padding out of her room. That's when the shivering starts.
"Oh, fuck." He curses, sliding down the wall in his room, clutching his shoulders. The icy wind cuts through the empty sill of his poorly repaired window, the garbage bag duct taped over the broken glass flapping violently against the night it does nothing to keep out and into his bones. He considers going outside to just get the freezing to death over with- but he's not entirely sure what will happen to his jacket wrapped around Karen. Kenny stumbles to his feet and picks up the cracked nokia on his bedside table. It takes his jittering fingers three tries to type out the number, and it takes both hands to hold the phone still near his face.
"Dude, what the fuck, it's like two in the morning! Are you fucking shitting me right now? What do you want?" The voice on the line is furious and exhausted. It sounds warm.
Kenny stutters, teeth chattering. He realizes he can't feel his fingers. He grits his teeth. "K-k-kyle. C-can I c-c-come ov-ver?"
"Yo, Kenny, are you okay? You sound rough dude."
"I'm freezing to death."
"What, literally?"
Kenny jerks with a sudden spasmic shiver and bites his tongue. He puts his hand over his mouth, checking saliva for blood. He doesn't see any, but it's dark. "Y-yeah, l-l-l-l-li-literal-ly. I c-c-can't f-feel my f-fingers anymore."
"Holy shit, dude. I'll come get you. Just hang on." The line went dead. Kenny dropped the phone, hugging his shoulders and trying to keep the shivering down. He imagined a candle, flickering gently in the breeze and steadied his breathe. The shivering grew milder, with only sudden spasms that would wrench him from his imagination and send him jittering and chattering and shivering again until he could regain composure. Time passes, and Kyle doesn't come. Kenny wrenches his shaking hands from his sides and slams them togetherat the wrist; it's a dull, quiet sound, but it's a hard strike. He doesn't feel it.
"Shit..." he murmurs. "Shit..." He hears a noise and lifts his head groggily. The door opens, and a young redhead wearing pajama bottoms and a thick jacket opens his door.
"Kenny?" He hisses, and Kenny pushes himself to his feet, but he can't quite feel his toes, and he stumbles. Kyle lurches forward and grabs him, steadying his shaking friend. He rummages in his pocket and pulls out a heat pack, before tearing the seal and handing it to Kenny.
"Hold this," he says, and puts an arm around Kenny, who wraps both hands around the pad, willing it to heat faster. They stumble out to his car, and Kenny crawls thankfully into the cranked up heat, shuddering in the backseat. Kyle pulls out of the driveway and takes the turn towards his house. Kenny is still shivering violently in his backseat.
They pull into Kyle's driveway and Kenny's down to just short intervals of sudden, violent shivers. He's tense and laying in the backseat in an almost broken way, taking in long, shuddering breaths. The exhaustion in the noises he makes is obvious, the way his ribs shudder as his lungs overfill.
"Kenny?" Kyle says hesitantly, leaning back to touch him. Kenny pulls away, suddenly awake.
"Shit, shit, I'm sorry." He says suddenly, blinking, shaking, cold. Kenny clutches the heat pack in his hands again, sitting up and holding it against his face, "I'm up. I'm up." Kyle shakes his head.
"Dude, it's fine. I have no idea how you were getting any sleep when it's this cold.
Kenny shrugs, pulling his knees to his chest and averting his eyes, "I wasn't. Not really." Kyle looks uncomfortable.
"Do you want to go inside?" He asks. Kenny pauses.
"Give me a minute." He says finally.
Kyle shifts, unbuckling his seatbelt and turning around. Kenny's no longer shivering, but he holds the heating pad tightly anyway.
"...Thanks," he says finally, without looking up.
Kyle shakes his head, "Don't thank me, dude. You were half frozen to death in there. You know you can call me if shit gets that bad."
Kenny winced at the word death, "I can't die." He mumbles. Kyle sighed.
"Dude? Not that again," Kenny grimaces and buries his face in the pad. It must be scorching, "No, dude, seriously, that mentality is exactly what's going to get you killed. It's not funny anymore." Kenny doesn't respond. Kyle sighs, and slides back down in his seat.
"Won't your mom be pissed you took her car?" Kenny asks suddenly. Kyle closes his eyes, envisioning the ferocity of his mother's wrath.
"I'm not telling her." Kenny nods slowly.
"I'm okay. We can go in now."
Kyle pulls the key out and pops open the door. Kenny is already out, padding on wet socks. Kyle leads him toward the house, but when he turns around, he's gone. Kyle blinks. He looks around- Kenny's nowhere to be seen. He had only looked away for a second, but suddenly- nothing. Kyle touches his face and feels moisture. Tears? He's confused. He opens the car to check inside, and notices it's already cold. Another oddness.
"Kenny?" Kyle calls hopefully. No response, "Hey! Dude?! Where'd you go?" He hisses. He sees a light come on upstairs, and, with a start, makes a break for his door desperately hoping his mother doesn't catch him up at this hour with her car.
000
Kenny shifts in his chair. Kyle is sitting beside him, cutting him annoyed glances and scribbling furiously. He passes him a note, and Kenny waits until his teacher turns back to the whiteboard before he unfolds it over the doodles in his notebook.
Where did you go?!
Kenny leans forward in his chair, bites his lip and cuts a glance at Kyle. He shrugs. Kyle taps his pen determinedly against his paper, staring Kenny down with a grimace. Kenny frowns and turns back to the paper, before scribbling out My feet were wet. I slipped on the ice.
He passes it baack to Kyle who seems confused, and hands it back. And? Why'd you leave?
I died. You were pretty upset. You don't remember. Kenny writes. When Kyle opens it he sighs in frustration, and crumples the paper in his hand. Kenny sighs, staring down at the doodles in his notebook. He resumes drawing, paying only distant attention to his teacher.
He skips lunch and visits the middle school to see his sister. He catches her outside the school, on her way to the lunchroom, and waves her over. Karen tilts her head to the side. Clutching her books she jogs over.
"Kenny! You're not s'posed to be here! What are you doing?" Kenny shakes his head.
"How are you feeling?" She frowns, then coughs, hard.
"You took your coat back." Kenny's heart sinks. He shakes his head.
"No, I didn't," He assures her, "I went over to Kyle's last night, but I didn't make it. I went to see God for a little while." Karen nods, but looks sad.
"I didn't think you would have taken it back... it was really cold last night." She coughs again and Kenny tries to stifle the fear that flashes across his face, but he knows she saw it.
"I would never. I'm sorry Karen, I really tried." Karen studied his face for a moment.
"You said you'd stop doing that." She sighs finally. Kenny shakes his head, "I tried! I called for help this time." Karen huffs.
"Did he see you?"
Kenny shakes his head, "Naw, he doesn't remember. Probably for the best. There was blood everywhere. He was freaking out."
Karen looks sad, "I wish I could remember." Kenny gives her a stern look and shakes his head slowly.
"No, you don't. I'm glad you don't. You shouldn't have to. You know how it goes. That's good enough. Now, here," he rifles around in his pocket, "I've got some lunch money for you." Karen brightens.
"Oh, bro, thank you!" She holds out her hands and he dumps the change into her mittens. Kenny smiles.
"Now give me a hug and get out of here, kiddo." She obliges with a grin and runs off, the last one through the cafeteria doors. Kenny lets his happy face drop, then turns and trots off.
He's back in school, smoking a cigarette he bummed from craig behind the lunchroom when Kyle wanders by. He stops on a dime.
"What are you doing?" He asks, apalled. Kenny looks up, he had been distracted.
"Huh?"
Kyle points at the smoke hanging from his lips, "Those things are shit for you. You'll kill yourself with them." Kenny makes a frustrated noise and takes a deep puff, before standing up, "I can't die." He says sternly, turning to march off. Kyle grabs the back of his hood and wrenches him around.
"Dude!" He says, aggravated, "Cut it out! It's not funny anymore!" Kenny yanks his hood out of Kyle's hand.
"Fuck off," He says, annoyed, "It's not. It's really, really not funny." He drops the cigarette. Kyle seems unhappy.
"I wish you wouldn't say stuff like that. It makes me worry about you." Kenny seems to shake visibly at the phrase and closes his eyes, taking a deep breath.
"Worry? Worry." He says under his breath. Kyle bites his lip, "Worry?!" Kenny yells suddenly. "WORRY!?" Kyle takes a step back as Kenny raises his arms for emphasis. "WORRY! You're worried when I say I can't die?! No, fuck this, no, you wanna see worry?" Kenny looks around suddenly, and his eyes zero in on the street a few yards away. He points at it.
"You see that?" He says, "I'm going to go step out there. A car is gong to hit me. I'm going to fall down, and I am going to die. And then, I'm going to see you tomorrow." Kyle looks taken aback.
"Excuse me?" Kenny turns and starts walking toward the street. "Kenny!" Kyle calls. "Kenny! Dude, it's not fucking funny, come back!" Kenny doesn't slow down. Kyle takes a step forward, "Dude! Okay! Haha! It's funny! I get it! Okay, you can't die! Come on back!" Kenny doesn't turn around. Kyle can here the tell tale sound of a car about to whip around the tree veiled corner. He takes a sudden step forward, calling out to him just as Kenny steps off the curb.
The semi smashes into him with a screech and a thud, and a spray of blood that Kyle can see even from this distance. What was left of Kenny vanished under the semi as it sped out and came to a stop a few yards away. Kyle felt his knees wobble and ran over to him.
"Kenny!" He yells, bending down. There's so little left of his friend, the impact was hard and seemed to have separated his skin from the rest of his body. He was twisted at an awkward, broken angle and laid still, blood pooling around him.
Kyle stumbles backward, toward school, then turns again, and runs.
It's the following morning, walking to school, jittering and trembling, that he sees Kenny again, standing on the corner by his house, smoking. Kyle starts to shake, and crosses the street, staring at him.
Kenny looks up, blinking. "Hey dude." He sighs. Kyle keeps walking, and his hands begin to shake. Kenny tilts his head to the side, looking confused. Kyle reaches up a shaking hand and touches him on the face.
"What the fu-" Kenny starts when Kyle let's out a horrified noise.
"Oh my god. Y-you're real." Kyle chokes and Kenny looks apprehensive.
"Yeah... why wouldn't I be? What?" Kyle shakes his head, gaze unwavering.
"Kenny. You died. I saw you."
The cigarette drops.
"You what?"
Kyle rubs his eyes with his pals and stutters, "No- I- I saw you. It happened. You were there and then that semi barrelled into you and-"
Kenny stumbles back, "You remember that!?"
"That really happened!? You really got hit by that- that- you really-"
"YES. I got hit by that truck, and yesterday I fell on the ice and the day before I got mauled by that dog and the day before that-"
Kyle shakes his head and holds up a hand, "You- wait- you- this happens- a lot?"
Kenny shakes his head and raises his hands, "I told you I can't die!"
"I THOUGHT YOU WERE KIDDING," Kyle yells, before his knees buckles and he steadies himself on Kenny puking into the grass.
Kenny holds him by the arm until he's finished and pulls him up suddenly, kissing him square on the mouth, despite the vomit clinging to his lips. Kyle is too stunned to react before Kenny pulls away again with a hoot and leaps upward, punching the air. he struts away and then back, smoothing his hair down. "You remember," he says, "You remember!"
Kyle blinks, his head swimming, "What!?"
Kenny grabs his face again, "No one ever remembers. No one ever believes me!" He says and kisses him again. Kyle is ready this time nad pulls back, pushing Kenny off.
"Dude! The fuck, stop doing that." Kenny shakes his head, a grin spreading wide across his face.
"Oh my god dude don't ask me to do that, I'm so happy right now. You remember. You remember." He shakes his head, "Do you remember the other times?!"
Kyle's eyes widen, "Like- like what?"
Kenny steps back, thinking, "That time I saved the jews- or that time I got electrocuted? I held the power cables for the hospital and used my body as a bridge. Or that time I died and saved Canada during your mom's war? Or that time in the lost city of Cthulu when I jumped off that cliff? Or when I shot myself? Any of them?" Kyle shakes his head.
"I... I think... actually... yeah. I do." Kenny takes a step back.
"You remember. You remember."
Kyle rubs his eyes again, "Like that time I cut you in half with a chainsaw. I remember that. And that time you were electrocuted! And that huge monster!"
Kenny wipes his eyes, "You remember. You really really REALLY REMEMBER!" He laughs, reeling.
Kenny stumbles back again, laughing. He tugs at his hood, but stumbles over the curb just as the same semi comes around the curb, in time to slam into him.
000
Kenny sits up groggily. He looks around, blinking bleary sleep from his eyes. He's in his bedroom. He feels his fingers carefully, confused, then pulls his Nokia from his bedside table, checking the date. It's the following day. He has a message from Kyle.
His hand seems to shake as he opens it. Dude, where'd you run off to? You made me miss third period, asshole!
Kenny swears and drops it. It lands on the ground with a thud, and Kenny brings his knees to his chest.
"I can't die," He whispers into his jeans, "I can't die."