Disclaimer: I own nothing and nothing is in the business of becoming mine.
Summary: Basically just a little one-shot between Bumblebee, Prowl and Sari during season two.
=-==-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-==-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
"…So, femmes here are …accordions?"
For exactly the seventh time that day, Prowl, ninjabot extraordinaire, was trying to keep himself from smashing Bumblebee's stupid face into the coffee table that separated them both. It shouldn't be this hard to explain why Bumblebee couldn't just walk up to Sari and start courting her like he would any femme back on Cybertron. Seeing how most of the yellow speedster's endeavors nosedived into oblivion the second he tried out his "moves" on the objects of his affection, Prowl had taken it upon himself to prevent any such thing from even happening, in this case, keeping Bumblebee from possibly ruining his friendship with the one human on Earth who fully understood them all.
"No. Please, just be quiet and I'll explain this one last time."
"Explain what one last time?"
Prowl never thought that such a nice gentle voice could ever make him jump quite so high off the ground, but surprise, surprise, here on the planet Earth, home to trillions of organic creatures that could speak just as well as any Cybertronian and invent thousands of mind-numbing video games Bumblebee was so fond of, it actually happened. He was pretty sure he'd be cementing the floor again later, too. Those cracks his aft made while landing always annoyed Ratchet.
"Sari! I didn't hear you come in." The cyberninja greeted, absently rubbing his neck wires.
"I know, I'm practicing that stealth thing you told me to work on!" The girl said, bouncing over to Bumblebee, who had that stupid longing look on his face again, that Prowl just wanted to smash, "So, what are you guys talking about?"
Prowl's face seemed to lose some color. Oh, it would be so fantastically awful if Bumblebee spoke the truth on this matter. Don't say anything, don't say anything, don't say any--
"We were just talking about all these men on Earth who seem to get a thrill out of "hooking up" with more than one female."
Thank you, Primus.
"You mean a player?"
"Is that what they're actually called?" The yellow mech asked, looking a little appalled.
"Yeah, they're an unfortunate breed of men that coast through life, looking for women who think they might be the love of their lives and end up leaving in one week or less. My dad told me all about them."
"Hopefully he told you to stay away from them?" Prowl asked politely, leaning closer towards the small girl, eyeing the sudden look on Bumblebee's face.
"Yeah, but it's not like I'd be easy prey. I'm a lot smarter than most of their targets and too young, anyway."
"How do they do what they do, exactly?" Bumblebee asked almost innocently, optics brightening at the idea of winning Sari over with some human tricks.
Sari rubbed her chin for a moment, considering how to explain such a thing to a pair of alien robots. She didn't even notice the annoyed, piecing look Prowl was sending Bumblebee's way. Neither did the yellow bot, obviously.
"Well, Dad said that all players need to sway a woman's opinion in their favor is a basic understanding of the female psychology and emotion. Sound's kinda hard, when you think about it. All of us women are unique and one of a kind, so it would be hard to push our buttons. Guys on the other hand…"
She gave a very pregnant pause, both bots' optics blinking in confusion.
"…Guys are easy to manipulate. They're like toasters. At least, that's what Dad says."
"…If mechs are toasters, what are femmes?" Prowl asked, suddenly a little nervous as Bumblebee smirked almost smugly back at the cyberninja.
A big smile splayed across Sari's face as she said the words Prowl had been trying to knock out of Bumblebee for hours, "We're accordions, of course."