My soul reflected in the mirror of life

by NoChoir

As you're watching through the looking glass, how the life it's proceeding, all you can do is to pray that the mirror won't break. How many people will eventually be reflected in the mirror of your transient life? - arekan "complete" for now

Okay, so I'm finally posting something on FFnet. Phew, it took a lot of time to type it in Word but I'm finally done with this chapter. Yes this will be sort of a long Yullen and I must say that I would have started the story differently, but this was meant to be a oneshot so don't kill me because I've got too fast in the action . When I decided to do this into a long fic it was too late to change the chapter.

The action takes place from the moment when the battle from the Ark it's finished and they're back at the Order.

Characters and other dgm related © Hoshino Katsura

--

Chapter I. Recipe: Mix milk with tar

The Ark was floating with grandeur over the Black Orders Head Quarters as a trophy that was marking the exorcists victory. Finally the Gods warriors could rest in their so called "home" knowing that they've brought with them not only triteness but themselves, they've made it to come back and only God knows how much they've missed the silence of the grand tower…

'Ahhhhhhhhh……….'

'Stop it!'

'Eh?'

'I said …oh never mind!'

'Ok.'

'…'

'yawn…lalala…..lalalala….LA!'

'STOP THAT!!'

'What?'

'The singing!!'

'But why, Yu-chan?'

'Because it's annoying and stop calling me like that!'

'Oh come on, singing it's fun. Come on, SING with me! Lalalalalalalalala'

'For Gods sake, SHUT UP!'

Kanda threw one of his pillows in the happy-go-lucky Lavi, that avoided it easily.

'Phew! Oh, so you want a pijama fight? Okay!'

'NO! I just want you to be quiet! Why don't you just go to sleep!?' shouted Kanda with a desperate tone.

'Because I've slept very much lately and I'm feeling very hippo, but the chief nurse won't let me go!!'

'Well, unfortunately she won't let me go either. But that wouldn't be such a problem, because I could run from that oba-san, but from my sensei … never.'

'Aww, poor Yu, he's trapped in a cage, but don't worry we can sing together!'

'I told you…AGH…you know what? Never mind …sing.'

'Hm, now that you let me, I kind of find it boring.'

'Che! Kono gaki …'

Kanda let himself fall on the remained pillow and covered himself with the beds mattress, trying to get calm and not to start a fight.

'Wait a minute, hey Allen, let's play poker! You must have a card deck at you, right?'

Kanda listened from under the covers to hear what the stupid moyashi will do. But no answer came.

'Come on, Allen! I know you're a lazy bum but at least answer me!'

'Che. Maybe he wants to sleep and to be let alone, have you thought of that!?'

'Haha, nice joke Yu!'

'Don't call m-…Agh!'

'A…llen?!'

Under the white haired boys bed covers were only a lot of food leftovers.

'Agh, the smell…', Lavi tried his best not to puke, 'and the small bastard!'

'Moyashi ... how dares he leave the hospital wing AGAIN while I'm not aloud not even to go to my room!?'

'Jealous, Yu? Haha!'

'Che! That is so IT!'

Kanda got up from his bed though he regretted several seconds later because a terrible pain passed through his body, making him tremble badly.

'Yu, you don't look so good!'

'- Leave me alone!'Kanda started clothing himself with a comfortable sweater.

'Hey Yu, at least look at the bright side! Your hair it's still pretty!'

'……'

In the next moment, Kanda was trying his best to strangle Lavi, ignoring the pain. Only when the chief nurse came, the two were separated.

'What's the matter with you two young men?'

'Yu started' said Lavi with an innocent voice.

'Whaaaat? You are the one who tried his best to piss me of !!

'I've made you a compliment…'

'That compliment it's for girls!'

'But…'

'SILENCE!! You're behaving like small kids! Please act by your age!'

'Ma'am, I have something to ask you.'

'What is it, Kanda-san?'

'May I take a walk?'

'It depends...How do you feel?'

'Never better.'

'You're lying…'

Kanda gave a deadly glare to Lavi.

'Fine, fine...At least you two are going to stay separated for a while, but make sure it's going to be a short walk. Understood?'

'Yes.'

'Oh and there's something else.'

'?'

'If you're still going out of the infirmary I would like you to go and search for Allen Walker. I can see that he disappeared again and his body is still not in a good shape. Would you help me?'

'……Is it really necessary?'

'Yes!'

'Then….I think I have no choice…..'WHHHY why must I go and find that stuuupid moyashi?! Not even when I finally escape this place I can't enjoy myself!?' thought the brunette outraged.

Kanda without waiting to hear another phrase from Lavi he stormed outside the hospital wing and walked along the corridor. But where should he go first? The idea of going to his room and only after a good hour of meditation to go and look for the bean sprout sounded so ………not right?!

'Fine I'll go and find the kid and then I can relax in my room…'

X0X0X0X0X0X0X0

The fake sun light of the ark was entering in the 14ths room. Allen was laid on his back on the white sofa. He could feel his tired bones letting themselves sinking into the soft couch. At every breath something was hurting him, so constantly he was releasing frustrated groans. The white room was making him feel dizzy, and unable to stand up. But he was too confused to be able to sleep, too confused about the latest events. There were so many things that he didn't understood, but…

'Forget it!! You know what? I don't want to understand, I don't care, so leave me alone!' Allen screamed towards the ever present reflection from the window. Its smile was creeping him out, and he really had enough of that kind type of evil smile.

'Agh…' He covered his face with his hands. Can't you see you're torturing me? At least be more depressed will you?'

'Who are you talking to, moyashi?'

'K-KandAAgh!! Allen rolled so fast to look who appeared in the room, that he felt off the sofa.

'Oi, are you alright?' asked the brunette, trying to hold his grin.

'Never better', answered Allen ironically. 'H-how did you get in?'

'Well, you kinda let the door open…'

'Oh…Did I?'

'Whatever. Get up and let's get you back to the infirmary, so I can go to my room and rest in peace and quiet .'

'…Excuse me?'

'You've heard me moyashi, now move it!!'

'Agh! You are so selfish! I'm not going to go just because you want to!'

'The chief nurse wants you back because blah-blah you're still an injured little bean sprout!'

'Stop calling me like that!! And I don't care what she says, but I feel really good here in peace and quiet!!So you can go back and tell her that I'll come back when…when...when I'll feel the need to!'

'I'm not your freaking owl! And I also don't care how you feel here or there, the woman gave me orders and I will carry them on!'

'And if I refuse to come with you, Kanda?'

'I'll drag you to the infirmary without you will!'

'In that case….ARK PLEASE BLOCK THE DOOR OF THE 14ths ROOM!'

'What the HELL!?'

Allen jumped on his feet, run at the piano and started singing the usual song that will make the Ark to comply with the boys wishes.

Kanda's body was still stiff and his reaction was too slow. He succeeded on catching Allen's wrist, but unfortunately it was too late. The door disappeared and now he was blocked in the same room with moyashi without having a way to go!!

'I can't believe you just did that!!'

'Well believe it, because I just did it!'

'You little….'Kanda pushed Allen in a violent manner making him back off 1 meter.

Annoyed the brunette exorcist walked to the big window, looking like he tried his best to stay as far as he could from the other exorcist. Well this was at least better than to stay with that goofy Lavi and besides, Allen will probably get tired of his presence and will unlock the door eventually so there was no need for him to get too stressed on this theme…

'Iii…' whimpered Allen.

'What was that sound moyashi!?'

'Nothing Kanda…'

'That odd sound must have meant something!!'

'Agh…Yeah, my spine hurts. Happy now?'

'Che…'

Well actually it was because on the window Allen could see the spooky mans reflection that just won't go away being really close to the brunette which had no idea of that man. Surprisingly though, Kanda's presence made him feel a little better, giving him the impression that in the Japanese boys presence the reflection was turning into a mere shadow afraid to move. He kept watching the tall exorcist intensely. The boy looked so beautiful with his hair being let loose, the ebony locks falling in waves over his almost skinny shoulders. He also was really cute with that sweater on. Allen's glare trailed all over Kanda's back and accidentally ended up on…'you again' thought the young boy, 'if you would stop following me, I would feel so much secure…'

'K-Kanda?'

'Hm?' asked the brunette with an absent tone.

'Can …uhm…can you get away from the window?'

'Why?'

'B-Because you are blocking the sunlight! '

'Excuse me!? That's impossible because first of all the window it's bigger than me and second the sun comes from another direction, so I wouldn't be able to cover it! Che, Stupid moyashi…

'It's Allen!'

'Mo-ya-shi!'

'A-llen! Is it so hard to remember?!'

'Maybe I don't want to remember it!'

'Agh, you are so impossible…' T T

'I am impossible?!'

'Well I'm not the one who's calling you on annoying nicknames, am I?!'

'But it suits you, so why not…moyashi?'

'AGH! Like my pains weren't enough!!'

'Well if you are sooo suffering you shouldn't have left the infirmary in the first place.'

'What about you, Kanda? Shouldn't you stay there too?'

'Che. I'm almost as good as new, not like others, baka moyashi.'

'It's Allen! Agh, what do I have to do to make you call me by my name?'

'Prove me that you are not a moyashi, but that will never happen. Because whatever you're doing, you're doing it with clumsiness and the hope that luck will strike your butt at the right time!'

'Kukuku…Maybe you're right or maybe not.'

'What is that supposed to mean?'

'I think that there is one thing that you wouldn't win and I would…'

'Che! Please stop making stupid jokes! Or, no wait, maybe you would beat me at that idiotic western game, poker or whatever its name was.'

'Oh no, besides that!' Allen put up a scary glare on his face, at least Kanda find it that way.

'I don't think so, moyashi, but you know what? I actually don't really care so I think now it's the right moment for you to open that damn door!'

'Is it now? If you ask me I'm not quite agreed with that! What if in the moment I open it you will drag me with you?'

'Forget that! I'm too sick of you to even make that effort ,so just let me go already!'

'Ha! Like I will open the door with such ugly words from you! Hmph!'

'Don't make me slice you, moyashi!'

'With what, bakanda!?'

Kanda realized with a shock that the boy was right. He forgot that Mugen was right now at Hevlaska, so…

'Fine, if not slice, then how about strangle you?' continued Kanda with a threatening tone.

'Let me think about it...' Allen got up from the sofa so that he would be also on a higher level '…NO! The door remains closed. Sorry! :P'

'AGH!'

'What are you going to do about it?'

Kanda looked around and saw that the only stuff he could use in this room were…two chairs. He rapidly went to one of them and grabbed it lifting the chair into mid air.

'K-Kanda, what are you going to do with that?'

'Well, let me be honest with you. First, to chill my nerves and with the hope that the door will open, I'm going to throw this chair in your head. And if this doesn't works, I'm going to take again the chair and make myself a way out by breaking the damn window…You realize that you have two options, right? Said Kanda while glaring with evil eyes at the small and now scared Allen.

'So, what's it goanna be, moyashi?'

'But this room it's too high, Kanda!!' tried the white haired exorcist to bring some sense into the Japanese.

'I'll take my chances!'

'Or are you going to use your hair as a rope?' asked giggling Allen.

'AGH! Kanda threw with all his power the chair, but the other exorcist dodged, the object eventually reaching at the window and smashing it into million of pieces that fell with a deafening and shrill sound on the floor.

'Kandaaaaa! How dare you broke the……window?'

Allen stopped and looked at the now non-existing glass. The smiley reflection disappeared. 'How come I didn't thought of that? Oh yeah, maybe because I'm better raised than Kanda…But still, what a relief…'

While he was thinking Kanda stormed towards him and grabbed his shirt tight.

'Kanda!?'

'Open the door before I will throw you off the window to see how high this place is, moyashi!!'

'N…N-No! You could have asked me from the beginning nicely without the "moyashi" nickname and then I would have let you go!'

'Che.' Kanda pushed Allen back on the sofa, making the silver haired boy twitch in pain. Even so this didn't stopped the little exorcist to grab Kanda's calf with his foot and roughly pull him. But the brunette fell not on his back how Allen thought he will, but in the opposite direction. So now Kanda was on the small exorcist, being a little dizzy after colliding so unexpected with Allen.

'Moyashi, how dare you…' his sentence was cut off by Allen.

'Agh, Kanda, it hurts, you're too heavy…'

The Japanese raised on his elbows so he could have a better angle for strangling the boy but the moans (of pain) that the little exorcist was releasing made him stop and blush.

'What should that suppose to mean, that I am fat?'

'Well yea-…' he stopped when noticed that Kanda's facial expression started to transform into an annoyed one. 'Of course not. It's just that I haven't still recovered so…it hurts…'

'Che. You're such a girl!'

'Whaaa?'

'Be a man and stop winning!'

'Fine!'

Without any warning Allen grabbed Kanda by the waist and switched places with him.

'What are you doing, moyashi?!' screamed the brunette somewhat alarmed.

'Well', Allen caught the tall exorcists hands by the wrists and pinned them above his head, 'This.' Allen kissed Kanda gently brushing his lips over the others soft ones. The brunettes eyes widened in surprise. He couldn't believe what was happening. His second reaction was to struggle but damn, Allen was pinning him really good by the couch. But shortly after it didn't matter anymore because he started to like the mild kiss. It was so tender and it was relaxing him to no end. At this thought Kanda moaned and Allen used this opportunity to insert his tongue into the boys mouth. The Japanese tried to protest but couldn't do anything because every time he wanted to open his mouth and say something Allen was pushing his slippery tongue deeper into the hot and sweet cave of Kanda's mouth. So he soon gave up on that too. After more minutes, which seemed like a divine eternity for Kanda, Allen backed off to let the boy underneath him fill back his lungs with air, a trail of saliva still connecting their lips. The brunette was panting hard and his vision was as blurry as a foggy autumn day.

'Aww, you're so cute Kanda.' chuckled Allen.

Kanda blinked in confusion. To be called cute by a fifteen year old brat was not something he could pass on and still, there he was unable to kick the kid off him!

'Moyashi, what the hell do you think you're doing?'

'Well, I'm going to beat you in this kind of battle, Kanda-chan.'

As he said that, Allen took off his belt and with dexterity he tied Kanda's hands by the wrist tight enough to resist at obtrusions and the other end tied it to one of the sofas legs.

'W-What is that supposes to mean?' Kanda tried desperately to free himself but it was too late now. The knots were too good made.

'Well I'm going to show you why I shouldn't be called "moyashi".'

'What? Are you going to rape me, moyashi?' asked Kanda with a sardonic smile.

'Call it how you like it.'

With that Allen kissed once more Kanda's lips. But this time he was kissing him really, really slow from time to time stopping a little; this was driving Kanda insane! The slowness made his chest burn and as it wasn't enough Allen was sometimes backing off, making Kanda growl annoyed; now that he tasted the white haired boy he wanted more. So when the young exorcist was lifting his head, Kanda also was lifting his, trying to catch Allen's mouth. Thinking that he tortured him enough, the smaller exorcist gave in, kissing passionately the hungered boy underneath him, but this time letting Kanda lead. The brunette captured the little boys sweet lips immediately into an ardent kiss devouring the little mouth.

'Nnh…Kanda…don't bite m-me.'

Once again Allen backed off, receiving an annoyed moan from Yu, this time to move his interest to Kanda's neck. He started with butterfly kisses and as every second passed his actions transformed into rough bites. Allen licked the purple areas that he had provoked leaving trails of burning saliva on the neck. Then once again he started biting very hard at the junction of the neck; Kanda almost screamed at the pleasant and also painful sensation. Seeing his reaction, Allen repeated that again even harder and finished sucking the spot, this time Kanda not able to hold back he released a loud moan making Allen shudder at the beautiful melody. Wanting to feel more, the white haired boy let his hands slip beneath Kanda's tank shirt.

'Mmh, Kanda you're so tense. Relax, okay?' While saying that Allen lifted the shirt over the brunettes head, letting it slip on the belt together with the sweater.

'You know, this isn't fair moyashi…agh…' he whimpered when the little exorcist placed his small cold hands on his heated chest.

'Just shut up and enjoy, Kanda, although on a second thought….you know what? If you feel the need to, you are aloud to…scream…'

Allen said the phrase in a such seductive manner that made Kanda get hard in a particular area. As the young exorcist started ravaging Kanda's chest all he could do was to watch and spasm in pleasure. His dark orbs were following every action that Allen was doing, how he was kissing and biting Kanda's flesh leaving purple red marks all over, or the way Allen was scratching with affection the spots were the tattoo was extended trailing the black lines of it. His hot tongue ended up on his nipples sucking hard at them driving Kanda crazy.

'Nnh…m-moyashi…' without realizing he did so, the brunette escaped the moan.

Allen made a disappointed growl and bit hard the brunettes clavicle making Kanda moan once again with pain.

'It's A-llen!'

'We will see…' the older exorcist smirked.

'Ha, I worn you Kanda, you will definitely…' Allen leaned his lips towards the boys ear and whispered: '…give into me…' then he licked sensually the spot making Kanda shudder with pleasure.

How could this little exorcist be so sensual, so arousing?! Because after all he was only fifteen, right?! How can he know so many in this area of expertise? Kanda himself that was eighteen didn't knew much about…well…making love with a boy…Also being an exorcist, he had forgotten that in this world exist other things than fighting like having fun, sex, love. 'If I'm thinking better I don't even remember the last time I did it and with who…damn…' He was too concentrate on this big battle that was going on and he just couldn't get his hands off it. But here it comes, his only salvation, one that he never thought his going to have: Allen. The silver haired boy had no idea what his hands and moisty lips were making every time they touched his skin. It was like bringing back to life parts of Kanda's body, which for a very long time the only feeling they've received was the cruel sharp touch of blades, akuma disease spreading over his skin, or the material of his clothes embracing his tired body. There was nothing to comfort him. Not even the taste of soba would make him thrill with joy anymore and the money he was receiving seemed for him only a bunch of useless papers. The state Kanda was in was maddening him. The first time when he went in mission with Allen, he couldn't accept the boys optimism and behavior, in his soul actually feeling bad for the kid. Allen was so small and naïve that made him wondered how this British would manage, because he looked like he ended up in the wrong place. Allen was a sunshine in a world already swollen in darkness. Kanda thought that he is also going to be dragged in this black and hopeless universe. But he was wrong. Allen wasn't caught by the darkness and even more than that, he brought light to everyone else, including him, Kanda Yu. Every time Allen was smiling he couldn't get his eyes off those curved up pinky lips. It made him feel so warm on the inside. But after discovering this new odd 'passion' of his, he decided that for an exorcist such thing wasn't needed and also not proper. But how could he let go of this pale sunshine? Simply! He pretends that this source of light wasn't a warm one, but a cold and cursed desert moonlight. So what do you do with something that you don't want near you? Keep it as away as possible. Kanda thought he will manage this way, but damn, every single day, along with every single warm feeling he was locking up in his heart, Kanda felt like another part from him was dying. But now the unthinkable was happening. Allen's touch and hot breath was bringing him back to life…

As Allen bit at his earlobe, Kanda came back to reality. The white haired boy chuckled and lifted his head so he can see Kanda's pretty face. Also he had caught with his lips some silky black tresses. Allen began playing with them, rolling the tresses with his tongue. The boy took his time to admire Kanda. The exorcist underneath him had his eyes half closed, his lips swollen and bloody red and the breath was irregular. He felt so charmed by this brunette that he would almost set Kanda free and let himself in the older exorcist hands to do what he would want to. But he said he will win in this battle so 'I won't give in to those pretty dark eyes'. But what was he saying? Was this still a battle!? Because that was the last thing he thought when he began this…this…game… He didn't want to win nothing but…Kanda…The boy that always treated him like a scum and a nobody was the only person that attracted him so much. The Japanese was like Japan itself. A mysterious land that Allen didn't knew much about and also didn't seem so keen on unearthing itself, hiding its beauty afraid that someone might crave it and steal it eventually leaving Japan naked and vulnerable. That's the way he saw Kanda. And as the boy became even colder and distant to him Allen was even more urged to get closer to his lonely and proud soul. He wanted to become that special someone that will have the permission to enter the fascinating land of his heart, to bath in the love of this warrior…Even so time passed by and the chances of him approaching Kanda seemed everyday smaller and dimmer. After all it was only a dream, a dream that Allen had to give up on, but surprisingly God lead Kanda to him right when he thought that every effort he could do will be fruitless…The cursed boy will never understand Gods ways…'Even so I think I must thank You...'.

In humility Allen closed his eyes for a second and then slowly opened them to appear before him the most precious gift he could ever have…Japan's warrior.

Allen leaned slowly down and cached Kanda's opened mouth in a gentle and sincere kiss. The brunette could taste the savory flavor of love lingering on Allen's tender lips; it made his heart bloom in a beautiful and young lotus. It was true, he panicked a little, because it was an unknown feeling, but as Allen was stroking lovingly his cheek, Kanda calmed down fast. Also he didn't realize when Allen's right hand slowly slipped from his cheek to his hands starting to untie them and then to push the hanging clothes off them. After he finished, he whispered in the brunettes ear: 'Behave okay?' Only then Kanda noticed his arms were free, but they've gotten numb so he wasn't able to move them. The muscles won't listen to him any longer. Allen seemed to notice this, so he took Kanda's arms, pulled them up and then caught the older exorcists hands in his placing them near his heart, making a small smile to Kanda, which now was feeling the silver haired exorcist heartbeats. They seems so fragile and felt like they were about to wither with every single beat. 'But enough thinking. Right now…'

'It's no time to do that.' Allen completed the boys thoughts making him widen his eyes in confusion.

'W-What?'

'Stop thinking so intense at every little thing. Relax. Because you never know what might happen later.'

Trying to come back to his old self he said with an absent voice hopping it was convincing enough:

'You don't understand, I don't care…'

'Yes, you do!'

'No, I DON'T! I live for my work. I am an exorcist under the command of the Dark Order and don't forget that so are you! Things as relaxation don't count here! We belong to the Pope and do whatever we are said to do!'

'And what about after that?'

'After what?'

'After we will fulfill our duty to the Pope and win against the Millennium Earl of course! Don't you realize that exorcist will no longer be needed?! The life will be all ours…'

'Che. Do you really think we're going to escape alive out of this?'

'Well…'

'No! Can't you see? We live to destroy akuma and when this war will end we will be only a bunch of freaks lurking in this world trying to find a meaning to the pointless life we still have. Do you really think we could continue living after knowing that the only reason we were born was to kill demons!? Do you really think God will allow that? Anyway not that I care much about Him…Anyway I agree with this fate. Because we won't find any stronger meaning in life then the one we have now. And that's exactly why we won't live. The exorcist will give their all in the fight and eventually defeat the Earl even if this will mean the death of us all…Got it!?'

'NO!'

Kanda blinked at the sudden scream that echoed in the room, destroying the solemn silence. A tear aglow as a gem rolled on Allen's cheek as he started speaking with a trembling and furious voice:

'How can you say that? Do you mean that all we are, are just some bunch of lifeless weapons? That's not true! It just can't be! Because there is a thing you forget Kanda! No matter what you think, exorcists have feelings, families, friends and lovers too! After this tiring battle don't you want to stay calm and laugh with your comrades or don't you have someone you love? To share your life with that special person knowing that you're living in a safe world and that only time could ever take that person away from you!? O-or at least I don't know…another purpose to reach!?

'You're right…I have a purpose but I know that I'll fulfill it before this battle…I will find that person no matter what, I'm sure I'll be able to do so, but isn't moyashi right? Wouldn't be simpler for me to leave this matter after the war…I can't believe I've just said that…Am I really agreeing with this bean sprout's ideas?...'

'See?'

'And also…you are right about the…spe…speci….' Kanda found it hard to say it.

'Special person?' asked puzzled Allen.

'Yes.'

'…..WHAAT? Y-You DO?!' Allen felt like an arrow struck through his head. All of a sudden the room seemed darker.

'Ahh…..really?! W-Wow…that's great Kanda…I-It must be a veeery special person and also really really meek….soorry it's not like I've presumed she is meek so I would offend you…..I think I wanted to say…..agh, I don't remember, silly stupid me….baka moyashi….' Allen was talking and shivering uncontrollable looking like he had lost his attribute of thinking. Kanda sighed and asked:

'Do you want me to describe that person?'

'Your special one? O-of course!' Allen answered with an evident fake smile while in his mind he was crying out load 'noooooooooooooooo no no no no NOOOOOOOOOO NO!'

'Well that person it's really clumsy and annoying. It talks a lot and has the talent to argue with me very often. This person also likes to fight without thinking at the consequences of his irresponsible actions. Also all the day he's very happy and laughs around…'

'LAAVI!? XoX'

'. . .STUUUPID MOYASHI !! NO WAY !! '

'Oh, come on! Just tell me already! Do I even know her?

'That person likes to eat way too much and yes you know him.'

'Agh….How am I supposed to know a person like her Kanda!? Tell me!!'

'Moyashi…you idiot….'

'Eh?'

'IT'S YOU!!' the brunette screamed while throwing his hands backwards.

' "You"? She has a name similar to you? Who is she anyw-………W-wait a minute…..You mean….ME?!'

'Che.' Kanda turned his head to the right and closed his eyes. Allen's eyes were the opposite, wide opened. He couldn't believe what he just heard. After all his dream did come true…Was it really real? He couldn't stop but wonder…

The brunette turned his eyes back at the confused boy on top him and with a sigh he said so he could make Allen come back from the surprise:

'Didn't you want a piece of me? Or maybe I was wrong and you don't feel the wa-'

Allen pressed his fingers over the older exorcists lips silencing him and added: 'I thought you would never ask…'

Their lips and tongues tangled once again in their romantic ritual. Now Kanda's hands were free so he started undressing Allen, firstly pushing the anorak off and then continued by lifting the blouse. Finally Kanda could feel the milky skin brushing against his trembling hands. His fingernails dug slightly in Allen's back.

'Agh, Kanda, gentle…I'm still injured…'

'Then how come you're still on top?'

'Because I can, so shut it!'

'Make me. '

'Fine!'

With that Allen kissed Kanda, while the older exorcist started continuing on undressing Allen. But the silver haired boy as well was aiming for the same thing. As the kiss became more and more wilder, Allen's artful hands made their way to the zipper from Kanda's pants and slowly pulled it down. Kanda didn't opposed and with his help soon enough both of them were laying naked on the white sofa bathing in the shining sun light.

'Kanda, you have such pretty legs.' said Allen while kissing lovingly the brunettes abdomen and in the same time tracing playful circles and lines over Kanda's legs.

This statement made the older boy blush. In that moment he felt exposed, but not knowing what to do to make that feeling disappear he just closed his eyes.

'Aw, Kanda, are you shy?'

'O.O….N-No.

'Haven't you done this before?'

'Well…..it's not your business moyashi and even if I DID it before it certainly wasn't like this.'" And it certainly wasn't with a boy" he thought.

'Like what?' asked Allen with an innocent glare.

'Like uhm….' Kanda blushed even deeper. 'never mind…'

"Awww, how can Kanda be so adorable?!" thought Allen. "I mean he looks so beautiful with his cheeks being flushed red like that, keeping his curved eyes half closed and the silky hair that is being spread all over the place. And agh, his skin, so smooth and sensible, I would be able to caress it forever plus six days…"

As he was keeping his hands on the brunettes leg he could feel it shaking.

'K-Kanda, you are trembling…'

Yu said nothing. Because Allen was right. Even himself didn't knew why, but here he was, all his body shaking without a certain reason. Allen smiled warmly, leaned down and kissed Kanda on the corner of his lips.

'It' going to be alright. You don't have to be scared.'

'-- I am not freaking scared!'

'Ok, you're not . But in any case I want you to know that I would never harm the person that I care about the most, got it?'

'Che.'

'…What was that supposed to mean?'

'How should I know who the person you care about the most is?'

'Kanda stop playing dumb. You know it's you!'

'….Yeah I do. And I…also…trust you.'

'I'm glad to hear that .'

This time Kanda captured Allen's lips in a trembling kiss, to let him know he was ready for whatever may come. As their mouths were moving their lips were barely touching. Allen whispered:

'Kanda, help me take down those bandages, please.'

'But…'

'Shush, that's what I want, so go on.'

'Che, baka moyashi' Kanda started with care-fullness to untie the material, 'this will be bad for your body.'

'No, I feel more like being suffocated by them…'

When the oldest boy finished, his eyes widened. Allen's body was full of scars and bruises that haven't healed yet. Few of them started bleeding.

'Moyashi, you'r-mhm!'

He couldn't finish his sentence because Allen silenced him with his lips. After that he moved to his neck and continued lowering his head over Kanda's body leaving love marks here and there. He kept going down until his tongue met with Kanda's length. He started licking and sometimes nibbling at it with a growing pace making Kanda almost scream with pleasure. A weird but well-known feeling was building in his stomach and he knew what would come short after. But the brunette chooses to stop. He grabbed in a tight grip Allen's hair and dragged him up until they were face to face.

'K-Kanda?'

It seemed that the older exorcist wasn't able to talk. Kanda was breathing in a chaotic manner. His lips were as red as a fresh and juicy apple, his cheeks were colored with a soft pink and the boys eyes were glowing with a restrained desire.

'It's something wrong, Kanda?'

'I didn't…wanted it like that…I wanted to see your…face…I wanted…'

'I know what you mean.' said Allen smiling happily.

Kanda also made an extremely small smile that faded in the next second as the silver haired boy leaned down to kiss him. While their watery lips and tongues were copulating together Allen intermingled two long fingers, so that in the next second Kanda found himself sucking at the other boys slender digits. Allen was following with fascination the brunettes actions, captivated by how Kanda was erotically licking the fingers with his hectic tongue making the British to release low moans. After awhile Allen decided that his fingers were wet and slippery enough so he removed his hand from Kanda's hot cavern and immediately returned on kissing him. Hoping that the Japanese would pay attention only at the kiss, he slowly slid a finger into Kanda's entrance. Unfortunately the brunette boy was the type that was paying attention to every detail concerning his body so he felt immediately, moaning with pain into Allen's mouth. The silver haired boy stopped to say:

'I-I'm sorry Kan-'

'Are you enjoying yourself moyashi?'

'E-Excuse me!?'

'If you do, then I suggest you to continue before I would change my mind and also change the position, get it?' continued Kanda with an irritated tone.

'But, it doesn't hurt you …much, right?'

'Che. Just go on moyashi. You're too soft.'

'No…you are.'

Kanda wanted to reply on that but instead he hissed at the feeling of a second finger inside him. As Allen started to move them inside the brunette really wished he could scream his lungs out without the boy on top him to be able to hear. But because that wasn't possible, he had to limit himself at small cries. He kept his eyes shut, praying that the pain would stop. And that happened sooner than he thought, Allen finding his magic spot. Kanda moaned, his tone being more of a relieved one than a pleasured sound.

'Finally moyashi, I thought you wanted to kill me.' said the brunette with a soothed tone, all of a sudden his face looking brighter.

'Well, I'm sorry, baKanda, but you are really the deep type.' said Allen moving once again his fingers so that he would get a moan from Kanda.

'…am I now? Well, I guess it means I'm special and not the type that's so easily pleased.' replied Kanda between pants.

'We'll see that now…'

Allen grabbed Kanda's legs and hanged them over his shoulders, the brunette giving him a questionable look.

'What?'

'You're lucky that I have an elastic body and personality , bean sprout, or else it would have been more difficult for you.'

'Soooo lucky…indeed I am. Or maybe it's just me. I'm really talented on moving you how I want.'

'You shouldn't get the wrong idea…'

'I wonder who or what can be more wrong in this moment?' whispered Allen thoughtfully.

'Do you think we're doing a mistake here? If yes, then I dare you to go on and see how wrong you actually are.'

Allen smiled encouraged and without adding other words, he removed his fingers and gently entered Kanda, that although looked prepared his actions betrayed him. Kanda dug his long nails in Allen's back and cried louder than the British boy have ever heard him. The curve from the corners of his eyes grew deeper as he closed his eyes shut and Allen was scarred not only by the violent scratches the brunette exorcist gave him but also seeing Kanda suffer so much made his heart stop. A transparent pearl rolled over his cheek and fell on the Japanese boys skin. At its wet touch, with difficulty, Kanda opened one eye, and if he wouldn't have been in pain he would have laughed as loud as he could.

'Why the hell are you crying idiot?'

'Be-Because, I'm hurting you.'

'That's just stupid. Stop crying. Do you see me cry?'

Allen shook his head.

'Then? It's normal for you to cry? NO!'

'At least does it hurts you less?'

'Yeah, you stupid. And God, don't ask that again…'

'I….I'm sorry. But are you sure you're alright?'

'Go on, moyashi. There's no way you can hurt me, okay?'

'Kanda, thank you!'

Allen leaned down to hug Kanda tight, forgetting their position, for Kanda's misfortune that this time screamed more because he was mad on Allen's irresponsible acts.

'YOU REALLY WANT TO KILL ME!!'

'I'M SORRY KANDA!!'

'Like sorry it's going to help me….'

Allen laughed and kissed the brunette sweetly on his lips.

'Can I go on?' asked Allen so soft and shy that Kanda almost didn't heard him.

'See if you can.' replied with a cunning tone the Japanese.

Allen's last devilish giggle was the starting sign, his hips moving against the brunette. In his entire life Kanda hadn't found himself under someone, except God. Was Allen really a mere exorcist or was he a divine being? Something special he must have been, because no one had made him feel so good as he felt now…… The maddening pace, Allen's hot body united with his, the nice things the other boy was saying, all those brought him on the pleasures vertex, this time making him scream with joy and completion. Soon after, everything was fading away the only things Kanda could still hear and see were Allen's angelic voice saying something to him and the white-butterfly-like eyelashes gently moving over soft purple skies. The lethargy that caught his body forced him into a deep sleep.

X0X0X0X0X0X0X0

The same fake sunlight danced over Kanda's bare neck or sometimes was stroking his pale eyelids. His sleep took the form of a melodious dream as the brunette could hear somebody singing; the song was accompanied by a faint rhythm and it was seemed to be a sad one. The person was something like telling its life through this song. How it fell in love and the happiness it received, but sadly the loved one died and the singer couldn't do nothing about it. And what a painful farewell it was! The main character tried its best to comfort the dying one saying soothing and love words, but the loved one couldn't hear because he was in too much pain and died with a long and sharp scream, this last scream lingering forever in the singers mind. Even so the person swore he won't call the dead ones soul and will wait for his death, when he could be reunited with his lover. Months past, years past but nothing happened. The singer was alive and lonely. Tormented by the scream, the story teller tried to commit suicide, but in the last minute he realized that this would send him to hell and surely his lover wasn't there. Agh, why won't he die already and woke up from this awful nightmare into the land were his dark eyed angel was waiting? Was he still waiting, the singer wondered. Suddenly the song stopped and it was replaced by sobs.

Kanda opened his eyes with confusion to realize that the singer was Allen and the rhythm was his heartbeats. The Japanese slept all this time on Allen's small chest, the silver haired boy meanwhile tangling his pale fingers in his black tresses playing with those.

'What was with that song?'

'Eh? Kanda were you awake?'

'Are you crying again moyashi?' said the brunette while he lifted his head to be able to see the British boy.

'Well….. maybe……'

'Maybe? Oh come on, what is it now?'

'It's just that the song it's sad. The two lovers were separated in a such brutal manner, all because of this painful tricky world, that likes to bring you in the misery when everything it's perfect….

Kanda was listening to him carefully waiting for Allen to finish.

'You know' bigger tears started falling on the small boys cheeks 'at least they could have died together but nooo…..'

'…..what you're saying it's unforgivable.' replied the brunette with a harsh tone.

'W-what?'

'Che. Tell me first of all from were do you know this song.'

'In India, on a street, a beautiful woman was singing this. With a large smile she was singing this song and I couldn't stop looking and listening to her. I was purely fascinated and that's why I think I've learned the lyrics.'

'Hm, if you say the woman was smiling why are you crying?'

'Because it's still sad…..I don't know how could she smile….'

'Though the person that died couldn't hear the love words, he knew how much she loved him. Because that's why he died. He sacrificed himself so that the other can live on for both of them. She was singing happy because she understood how important was to keep living a happy life. That's what her lover wanted. The only sad thing at the story it's the fact that she didn't understand that from the beginning and wasted a lot of time in sorrow and remorse.'

'But how could she live on alone? That's unbearable! Or at least, didn't the lover thought that the singer would have preferred to die in his place?'

'Maybe he knew that the singer was more powerful than him and could bare the life alone with a smile, while he surely wouldn't have endured the loneliness and would have killed himself. Understand now?'

Allen listened to him and when Kanda finished his eyes were bearing a confused expression.

'Anyway, next time don't sing something that you don't understand okay, you stupid moyashi?'

'Allen desu!'

'Che.'

'Come on Kanda, I won! You have to call me Allen now!'

'I have to admit you weren't that bad, moyashi.' whispered Kanda in a pleasured tone.

'ALLEN! Don't you have honor?!'

'My honor stops me from calling you on your name.'

'Heeeeeee? AGH, God you are sooooo …AGH! I don't' have words to describe you!'

'Well I do: tired. Now shut up and let me sleep some more.'

Kanda leaned his head on Allen's chest once again and closed his eyes.

'Fine, Kanda, do whatever you want.'

The brunette sighed his hot breath brushing against the other exorcist skin and said in a low tone: 'you sleep too'. Allen nodded but he still kept looking at Kanda admiring how perfect the brunette exorcists long body was fitting with his small one, and how beautifully Kanda's silky and tired hair was covering a part of his chest. Allen looked at his black hand wondering if he should touch Kanda's soft and tender skin. Slowly he brushed a finger over the Japanese boys eyelash. Kanda only moved it a little Allen restraining a giggle."Why do I feel so happy? Or, it's what I'm feeling really happiness? Could I be possibly misjudging? No…..there's no way God would play tricks on me."

--

So how was it? I hope everyone liked it. I'm gonna try my best to write the next chapter as fast as I can :) okay?

Yes, Allen was on top, but don't worry, that's a sort of a lifetime miracle.

And no, I had no inspiration on how to end this chapter, I'm sorry but it happens.

Take care people !

PS: Also I have here a wonderful fanart done by my brilliant love : http:// 7kimiko7. deviantart . com /art/It-s-true-I-m-crazy-about-Yu-90823714 (without blank spaces). She made this for me when the chapter was in progress so 'the scene' it's a little different. I forgot to put some important elements and details that I've mentioned I would, but my dear dear Kimi didn't. I love you so muuuuuuch and don't worry I'll add the missing 'objects' in the next chapters ;) .