Warning: Shini doesn't own anything... It all belongs to Yuu Watase, you hear! So no flames or I swear you'll get more than flames back... evil laugh can be heard Also slight OOC-ness.
Pairing: Tasuki x Nuriko, Tamahome x Miaka
Sayonara Solitia
Chapter One:
Weakness
I burry my head in my pillow, tears freely flowing down the sides of my face. How long was I to keep up this fake and useless facade? How long will I act the joyous mask I force myself to make each day that even my heart can't bear no longer? When will he be able to just look at me twice? When?
I moan in anguish, his face flashing through my mind. It pains me to know how much I love him and how less he loves me. I realize his love for the Suzaku no Miko and his love for me as a fellow seishi and as part of his harem.
And what hurts me most is that whenever I feel of blaming all this to the ignorant girl who came in this world, unknowingly accepting the responsibility of being the priestess without thinking of its consequences, I can't bring myself to hate her. To hate her for taking his mind out of anything else as she pass by, for taking away all my chances to obtain the emperor's affections, for taking his love I craved so much away from me.
I scream again in both pain and anger. Who can I blame for all this? I can only hate myself... Hate myself for being what I was. A freak that nobody loves, that everyone will soon forget.
Tears of heartbreak and self-hatred continue to fall freely and I close my eyes tightly wishing they stop. I hate this feeling, the same feeling that coursed down through my veins as I watch the carriage came closer to my sister, the one that overcame my senses as I watch the emperor wrap himself around our miko. This feeling of unimportance and uselessness.
This feeling of being weak.
I slowly open my eyes, not knowing of what to do or how to act. I force myself to move feeling how numb and sore my body was as tremors easily rock my lithe frame. I made my way to my line of clothing, intending on packing up my things and to leave everything behind.
My identity, my life, my home, my responsibility, my troubles, my friends, my family, my love
I had just taken a few steps, when I notice movement in the opposite side of my chamber. And to my surprise I was looking at a monster.
Its hair unruly- sticking on all its sides, its skin- deathly pale in the moon's light, its eyes bloodshot looking at him with its mouth agape almost looking shock on what it saw.
And to my horror... I was looking at myself... I was looking at my own reflection!
A scream of rage pass through my sore and dry throat. A scream combined with horror, anger, surprise and fear that must've echoed through the palace in the dead silence of the night. I rush to the mirror, slamming my fist into it and it breaks almost instantly, the shards graze at my skin because of the force I had applied.
I kneel down, sobbing through the floor. I am so fucked up, my mind is hazy as I cry my sorrow. I didn't care if I was bleeding, didn't care if anyone heard me. Why else would they care for someone- for a freak like me?
I didn't notice another presence that made its way through my chamber until I felt someone grab my shoulders tightly. I open my teary eyes focusing my blurry eyesight to my captor.
A flash of red.
Tasuki. Tasuki is here, shaking me and yelling about some things I can't hear. My heart is throbbing too fast and too hard that I'm sure enough that Tasuki could here it too.
I stare at him, my eyes threatening to close from exhaustion, yet I force them to stay open. I feet guilt as I stare in your face. It etched worry, affection, terror, scared and sadness at the same time. I try to smile hoping to relieve you from those feelings. Even in dying was I a burden.
I feel myself weaken, I want to push away from him and hide the shame that I truly was, the last thing I could never bear is to see Tasuki disgust in what I am.
I feel my vision blur, I notice Tasuki yelling but I couldn't hear him. I felt water fall down my face and looking up, I saw Tasuki was crying, muttering some words. I focus my eyes on his lips trying to decipher what he was saying.
I feel his arms circling around me, pulling me to his chest as he rock slowly like a child in search of comfort. "I feel so cold Tasuki-chan." I say to him, closing my eyes before blackness took over me and I fall limp in his arms.
"Don't leave me..."
Those were the words he said...